isleofavalon | September Catchall

[Disbelief and exasperation cross his features in quick succession.] You didn't forcefully do anything. I don't know the dance like you do, so you taking the lead is practical. And I can't believe I need to point this out, but we both decided to dance together not for propriety, but because it's fun.

[It had been fun, anyway, but Lorenz Killjoy Gloucester just couldn't help himself. Despite the distance Lorenz is trying to put between them, and even thugh his tone is firm, he squeezes Lorenz's shoulder as if to reassure him.]

You know, where I come from, everyone dances with everyone else in a big group. There's no rules about men or women or even social stations. It's supposed to be freeing -- about expressing yourself -- not about putting a bunch of restrictions on it.

[As a general rule if something is enjoyable in any way it is also against the standards of etiquette for the nobility. So it's... is it really any wonder he's so quick to question and stamp out anything that is simply fun for fun's sake?]

That... sounds nice...

[Soft, hesitant, clearly considering how such a thing would work. He does relax a touch under the gentle pressure of Claude's hand but... he can't help the way his mind takes the thread he'd begun to unravel and picks and prods at it until it begins to truly fall apart.

Not after everything he'd said to Marianne.]

Still, a waltz is meant to be... elegant... romantic even.

[He winces even as the word leaves his lips, shaking his head and finally pulling away from Claude completely to pace a tight little circle in the air, one arm tucked protectively around himself.]

Which is precisely why a man is meant to have a woman as his partner, of course.

[Despite the way the words come out, that same arrogant tone whenever he feels he has to explain any part of what is appropriate to Claude but his expression is twisted into something hurt and almost worried.]

All these "meant to"s. Says who? Your dad? He's not here, and even if he was, who cares?

[He shakes his head, getting more perplexed by the moment. Still
he gives him his space as Lorenz paces away, simply posing another question:]

How long are you going to keep on sabotaging your own happiness, Lorenz?

[He wants to argue that it's all well and good to say things like that, insist he shouldn't care what his father thinks. But Claude doesn't have to listen to the man day in and day out. Avalon, of course, is a welcome respite but he's going to go back eventually. And he won't have Claude's guidance or sass to spur him on then.

But that question makes him freeze, gaze snapping up to look at his friend once more. His expression shifts quickly and obviously from startled to guilty to something more sheepish.]

I suppose that is what I'm doing, isn't it? [He's spent so long insisting to himself and others that he wants things to be the way he's resigned himself to that he has trouble seeing the other perspective.] I just... want to do what's best for everyone. Even if that means... [A little huff, dark amusement that he at least has a way to allude to it without saying it.]

Never letting myself have the type of dance partner I want. [The slightest hesitation, face flushing darker and gaze firmly cast aside so he doesn't have to see whatever Claude's response to that might be.] I- I think, that is.

How is that what's best for anyone?

[Veiled allusions and hints might as well be clear as day for Claude, confirming what he'd already figured out. So it also makes him confident in what he says next.]

The new dawn for Fódlan that Teach and I fought for... We're going to create a world where everyone can live how they want. The old rules, the old ways of governing, even the life of a noble that holds you back even here... It's all going to be swept aside for something new. Somewhere you can... [He tilts his head at Lorenz, opts to choose his mode of phrasing,] ...choose whatever dance partner you want.

[He offers a hand to Lorenz once more, a small smile beginning to tug at his expression.] So? What do you say?

Even you, with all your talk of dreams, cannot deny that there is benefit to political alliances reinforced through ties of marriage.

[Don't act like there's no possible benefit, Claude. Neither of them are foolish enough to believe that.

But he doesn't push beyond that, doesn't let himself continue arguing. He knows as well as anyone that he's only making himself miserable. That he will continue to do so if he keeps clinging to these notions but he can't quite turn off the voice in his head, the one that sounds suspiciously like his father, that keeps insisting he's selfish for it.

Still, even after admitting that much (and he knows Claude understands precisely what he meant, especially when he repeats it) the other man offers his hand, a smile. No anger or judgement or any of a million terrible things he might have expected to see.

He offers to just.... return to dancing like it's just another playful offer, like it's not enough to make his heart leap into his throat.]

You- [There's the slightest hitch in his voice that only makes his cheeks brighten and the idea of all the varied implications that could be taken from such a gesture amid this conversation race through his mind for a moment. It's a challenge, not doing something foolish. Whether that's more sabotaging or letting himself act on a single one of the impulses he hides from himself.]

I don't think you're ready for a foxtrot. [A weak smile, not nearly as teasing as he'd meant but it's still something.] Why don't you teach me one of your Almyran dances?

[Claude just rolls his eyes at the talk of political marriages, as if he couldn't imagine anything worse. Sure, he can't deny the benefits, but that's still not his foremost consideration.]

When the time's right, I'll do just that. A party, a big bonfire, good music, and most importantly... [He drops his hand to gesture beneath them.] We'd need to be on solid earth. Being up in the air would make the jumping around part way too tricky.

[He looks back up at Lorenz with a smirk, making it hard to tell whether he's kidding or serious about that last part. All in all, though, it's clear it's nothing like a waltz or a foxtrot.]

Jumping.... around?

[It's strange, somehow, just moving on like it's a normal day and a normal conversation. Like he didn't just tell Claude something that would have gotten him disowned or worse, at the very least made him a pariah.

It's also reassuring in a way he wasn't really prepared for and when Claude gestures below them Lorenz reaches out to catch his hand before he can think any part of this was him denying that offer. No... No he doesn't know what to do with it but he's happy. A strained, relieved kind of pleasantness and Lorenz shakes his head slightly, dismissing the suggestion.]

Then I guess I'll have to teach you a Foxtrot, won't I?

[Then he's tugging Claude along, something fragile about his smile but also probably one of the most genuine ones he's ever seen.]

[Casual as he's acting, Claude is still watching Lorenz and the subtle little shifts in his expression closely, a warm smile of his own in place. He's so caught up in the moment he's surprised when Lorenz is suddenly tugging him along again, and he has to focus back on keeping in step with the taller man.]

Whoa! Someone's eager. [The teasing is gentle, though; he's not actually trying to discourage him. If anything, he wants to see more of that genuine happiness in Lorenz's expression.] Lead on, dance master!

[The teasing only makes him blush a little brighter, hesitating briefly before Claude tells him to continue and he huffs a nervous little laugh before he tries to guide Claude into position. Trying to explain the differences in pacing and movement, less moving against one another and more moving side by side in the same direction.]

Think you can manage it?

[Of course, a foxtrot requires being much closer together so the question comes as Lorenz pulls Claude in against him. The other challenge with the foxtrot is that the position means there's not enough space between them for Claude to watch his feet.]

[Claude listens attentively to the explanation, and nods when he's pulled closer, looking down only briefly to crane his neck and check he's in the right starting position.]

Think so! It's just about timing and counting the steps, so I think I can pull it off.

[This could either go great or horrendously, but at least Lorenz should enjoy seeing him struggle either way.]

Shall we?

We'll keep to a simple circle at first so you can get a feel for it, okay?

[And so Lorenz isn't tempted to throw him off with any twirls.

He doesn't count for him, that would be to easy, he just hums a few simple notes to begin a steady rhythm, something obvious but something Claude will still have to do his own counting for. Lorenz does his best to maintain the rhythm so that his friend can keep up but there's at least a couple times where he has to bite his lip to keep from laughing when the other man stumbles a step.

Hmm.... dare he try to walk him through a change step?]

Gotcha.

[Claude's brow is slightly furrowed with focus as they move through the steps, and he does definitely trip over Lorenz's feet a couple of times. In a way the weightlessness makes it a little harder to follow the movements, but at least it's more forgiving of mistakes.]

Er... So far I'm not terrible, right? [He asks, though he's pretty sure Lorenz is internally having a good laugh at his expense. Well, it's all part of the goal to get Lorenz to have fun.]

[Watching Claude concentrate so hard for something that is like second nature to him only makes it more amusing. There are very few things he can say with certainty he can do better than Claude... then again of those things most aren't ones Claude would have any interest in.]

Not terrible. [Soft and perhaps a touch too affectionate as he squeezes their clasped hands together just a little more.]

You're just going to move forward okay. Three steps. Let me worry about the positioning.

[Hopefully Claude can focus enough on what he's doing to not get too distracted by Lorenz crossing in front of him.]

Three steps! Easy.

[Or easier said than done, because as he steps forward and Lorenz leads them through the turn, he mistimes it and trips over Lorenz's foot again, stumbling right into him.]

Ack, sorry-- [At least there's no gravity up here, making it easier for Lorenz to (maybe) keep his balance.]

[It's hard to tell for a moment if the way Lorenz shifts is just... holding Claude closer to steady him or if he's trying to maintain his own balance. It should be simple enough but they're teetering ever closer to the magic wearing off and keeping himself upright and aloft with Claude's weight on him ends up being more than he can manage.

It isn't as though they actually crash into anything so much as tumble back, a moment of uncontrolled falling before Lorenz can catch himself in the air, eyes wide in surprise that quickly gives way to amusement... and then laughter.]

I'm so glad I didn't try this on the ground.

[Claude realises he'd grabbed onto Lorenz's shirt to try and stop keeling over entirely... to little avail. He laughs and loosens his grip where they'd toppled over, colouring a little in embarrassment.]

Speak for yourself! I bet I'd be much less clumsy on the ground.

[Or you could just admit you suck at ballroom dancing, Claude.]

[Lorenz manages to contain his laughter long enough to raise a brow, giving Claude a disbelieving look. Then succumbs to his amusement again, too busy trying not to dissolve into the embarrassing sort of giggles that tend to come with too much wine. It doesn't occur to him to let go of Claude, not least of all because the amount of effort he had initially put into staying near the ground is now what it takes for him to stay aloft. ]

Shall we test that?

[However the magic worked it was clearly beginning to fade and he would be all too happy let Claude fumble over himself on the ground as well. ]

[Seeing Lorenz a giggling mess like this makes him inclined to just want to carry on messing up on purpose, but he'll relent for now.] Fine, fine. Better get to the ground before you drop right out of the sky on top of me!

[Claude says it with a cheeky grin, evidently angling for a reaction from putting the mental image into his head. Still, he does guide him back to land back on solid ground.]

Honestly, you have a nice laugh, Lorenz. [When it's not that haughty laugh, but a genuine one.]

I'm not going to-

[Lorenz pushes at his shoulder, playful but carefully keeping a hand on the other man just in case he needs Claude to steady him for the last bit of the descent. As his toes touch the ground and he takes his weight back he finds himself reluctant to completely draw his hands away from his friend, one hand beginning to slide down his arm but hesitating near his elbow instead of drifting away entirely.

A touch of color on his face for that initial hesitance and then Claude speaks again and the blush deepens.]

You... think so? I've had so few opportunities to truly allow for such unrestrained amusement I suppose I never really thought much of it.

Well, now's your chance to really cut loose. What do you say?

[The hand on his elbow hasn't escaped his notice, and he steps closer to Lorenz, eyes bright. Another deliberate provocation, perhaps; though whether Lorenz takes the bait this time or doesn't is another matter.]

[Of course Claude would encourage him to be reckless. To "cut loose" as it were. But there's something different about it, not teasing exactly or at least not in the same way. Something charged in the way he says it, expectant almost and that alone is enough to make his heart skip a beat. His fingers curl around Claude's arm instead of merely resting against him and he matches that step drawn into the other in a way that is at once terrifying and exhilarating.]

Khalid... [An uncertain, breathless murmur, not entirely sure what he's meant to be answering exactly. It feels as though the question is so much deeper than merely a comment on his laugh. So instead he hovers, caught between those two emotions and utterly unprepared to commit to either.]

I.... might need your help. Figuring out how, I mean.

[To cut loose? To enjoy himself at all? To figure out what this tension between them is?

Even he's not sure what he means anymore.]

[Claude's just studying him patiently, that amused smile still toying at his mouth.] Well, here's a little tip for starters.

[That's about all the warning he gets before Claude tugs on the front of Lorenz's shirt, closing whatever shred of distance was left between them to kiss him. It lingers what could seem both like a long time and yet no time at all, before he's pulling back again with a smile.]

... If you're going to kiss someone, make it a little more like that, and less like a punch to the mouth.

[And all of the sudden his heart is in his throat.

He won't admit it, if Claude calls him on it but there's a soft, strangled, startled sort of sound in his throat and he barely has time to wrap his head around the fact that Claude is kissing him before he's starting to pull away. The hand on Claude's arm moves up hovering briefly as Lorenz leans in, then settling tentatively against his jaw, trying to coax him to stay. Just for a moment, just to make sure this is real and not some bubble induced delusion.

It's only a span of heartbeats before he lets Claude draw back as he'd intended and he's far too busy staring at him dumbstruck to even process the words at first.

When his mind catches up with what's going on he-

Well he bursts out laughing, startling even himself. Giddy and overwhelmed and it seems so surreal he is genuinely at a complete loss for what to do or say. In the end he just pulls Claude closer, hugging him tightly, that hand still hovering beside his face even as Lorenz presses his own scarlet face into Claude's shoulder.]

I was so scared you would think ill of me. I didn't-

[Didn't expect any kind of reciprocation, didn't know what to do then, doesn't know what to do now.]

[Claude had expected another freakout from Lorenz, maybe more yelling and storming off, so to get this reaction is a pleasant surprise. He returns the hug with a warm smile, wrapping his arms around him as if to soothe him.]

There's nothing to be scared of, Lorenz. [His voice is a low murmur as he drops the teasing tone of before, squeezing him gently.] You accepted me for who I really am. You shouldn't be afraid to be yourself, too.

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