isleofavalon | February open log

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final fantasy xiv: emet-selch

February open log

🧙 WHO: Emet-Selch and anyone
⚔️️ WHAT: Coming out of a sleep (canon update) and throwing himself into quests to distract himself from new memories
🕒 WHEN: Throughout February
🗺️ WHERE: See prompts
⚠️ WARNINGS:
- Possible sexual content in the arrow threads.
- Potential spoilers for Endwalker, let me know if you are fine with them or not.

1. G(lacial)-Warriors 🗡️ (Knight quest)

A quest is just what he needs to take his mind off the plethora of revelations to come from his day of forced slumber - and what better way than to go out and hit something until it falls to pieces? He takes his gunblade, his horse, and the provisions provided by Camelot to all knights embarking on this particular journey. In typical fashion, he does not bother to ask around and see if anyone would like to join him. No, he wants the time to himself to sort out his thoughts.

Yet nothing is ever that easy, is it? He's ambushed by one of the I.C.E. constructs as he nears the spot. His horse rears up in alarm, throwing him from the saddle before bolting into the trees. Emet-Selch lands with a painful thud into a bank of snow. Fortunately, the gunblade strapped to his back seems in order. Unfortunately, the ICE is advancing on him and he's having trouble getting out of the snow.

Help?

(ooc: Existing CR are free to assume they accompanied him from the start if they want.)

2. Serve, Save, Slave, Slay...Some Sushi 🗡️

The sushi monster is no easier to slay than the I.C.E. as Emet-Selch discovers much to his chagrin. What does a man have to do to get some relatively simple knight quests??

The...creature(?) fires a round of pellets at him which has him diving into a rolls to avoid. He comes up into a crouch just in time to parry one of the sharp green swords it wields, quickly getting his feet beneath him before the second can slice him in half. He's been at it for a few minutes by now, focus utterly consumed by the opponent before him. He's growing tired though and the thing still doesn't look like it plans to give up.

"Ridiculous thing," he seethes. "And me, reduced to using these inferior magicks... I should have asked Irhya for a greatsword instead of a gunblade."

He fires off a round and its ricochet echoes throughout the forest. Even if the sound doesn't draw attention, the eerie blue after-image of the shot is worth attention.

(ooc: Existing CR are free to assume they accompanied him from the start if they want.)

3. I See You, Opening! 🛡️

Well of course, Emet-Selch doesn't want anything to do with these tricksy arrows and their dubious effects. But other people may have no such qualms. Perhaps you want to see this sour-looking man pour his heart out to one of his associates. Or perhaps you want to make him suffer by tasting nothing but chocolate for two weeks. Anything goes. ~~Really. Anything.~~

If shooting: Please nominate which arrow you're shooting him with. I'm happy to write custom starters if you want.

If encountering him after he's been shot: Please nominate which effect you want for him. Again, I can write a custom starter if that's preferred.

4. Wildcard

If you have some ideas, feel free to send me a PM or leave a comment on the CR meme.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It hasn't been long since he was shot with one of those wayward cupid arrows. Emet-Selch is only just now beginning to feel the effects of a flush creeping into his face. Stubborn old man that he is though, he is soldiering through the problem and refusing to acknowledge it - and probably will until he can't ignore it any longer.

Unfortunately that means his ire will be freely directed at anyone who bothers him. Including Zidane.

"Don't call me that," he growls, turning to glare at the boy.

Despite being growled at, Zidane's all smiles. It's a pretty normal day in the weird world they're in and that's a good thing. Absolutely not going to be spoiled in any way.

"What do you want me to call you?" he asks with a small snicker, and walking over. Though, now that he's closer, he tilts his head. It's not that hard to miss the flush on Emet's face. "Ah, you feeling okay? Well, season of love is the season of colds too I guess."

And if that's the case, maybe he should head on. A cold is not something he wants to share for the holiday.

"I have a name and it is--"

Ugh, does he continue to refer to himself as Emet-Selch or does he truly shrug off the mantle and become simply 'Hades'? Ever since waking up from that long dream,

"Emet-Selch," he eventually finishes firmly. In the end, it still doesn't feel right to be called aught else. "And yes, as I said, I am quite fine."

Even if he can't seem to stop thinking about his live-in partner and how they're going to mock him mercilessly if he returns to the shop with a visible hard-on. He can hear Hythlodaeus now: 'Did you miss me that much, Hades?'

"Emet-Selch? Huuuh... Until I figure out a better nickname, Gramps will stay."

He nods like he's decided between life-or-death... or maybe between apples and oranges, something nonsensical like that. But after the nodding, Zidane shakes his head. "No, you're not. C'mon, we can go see a doctor if it's that bad."

Because this guy is struggling to even snap at him.

Why can't someone, just once, use his title properly?

"No!" Ah, that was a bit sharp maybe. People are glancing over, though they look away quickly when they recognise who he is. "No, I simply-- have a fever. I need a cold shower is all."

He's oddly fidgety for someone with a fever. And very pointedly not looking anyone in the eyes for too long.

Title usage is not consistent and he'll have to learn that.

For now, Zidane blinks, but then beams. "Hey! There it is! ... but if it's a fever, isn't that more reason to consider a doctor?" Not to mention the twitching? Things like this could get pretty bad if not addressed fast.

Also, the only nearest option right now was a river. Probably nice and icy cold from the weather...

He grits his teeth. "'Tis not...that manner of fever."

The shame of this is going to burn him up if the 'fever' doesn't first. When he finds whoever shot him with that arrow...

"How ca-- oooh. OH! ... Oooooh..."

Zidane stares, arms crossing as he blinks and then considers. On one hand, he could probably make a joke about this - okay, he really, really wants to because, haha, grandpa's horny in public. Buuut on the other hand, he really should get him some help.

... He can multitask.

"Got any numbers that can deal with that? The Madame at the strip club might know someone."

His hand inadvertently strays near his breast pocket (his phone?) before he forces it down. He rather detests how quickly the boy seems to leap to the correct conclusion. Then again, it's not like he would appreciate having to spell out the problem.

"I merely need a cold shower!" he snaps. "'Tis not something to trouble any of my acquaintances with. I'm not some...some lagomorph humping everything in sight!"

Might be exactly the issue that he's still a fairly hormonal boy that he catches on real fast. Also, he caught that movement - breast pocket? He can do that, hehe.

"Never said you were, and would it really be troubling to your acquaintances? It's not like I'd just ask anyone on the network."

Zidane feels like he's offering reasonable and funner solutions. Also, would a cold shower even help?

The annoying part is that Zidane is absolutely right that one of his acquaintances (perhaps several) would offer to help with his problem if he asked. But can he bend his pride enough to do so? Not really.

He grows more agitated, shifting his weight from foot to foot. "If I want to take them to bed it will be on my terms," he growls.

"Fine, fine..."

Do things the boring way... maybe. Though it sounds like Zidane might be giving in, but honestly...

"Look, I'll help you into the river, and if that doesn't work out, we find another solution."

"Oh no, no, no. I am not walking into a freezing cold river!" he snaps. "And don't you dare try to push me."

Honestly? That just makes his thoughts jump to the time when Hythlodaeus had coyly pointed out that they could have taken a shower together when he had shoved them into an icy lake.

"Hey, you're the one that said you wanted to take a cold shower. Besides, you really wanna try walking all the way back as you are now?"

Guy's embarrassed enough under all the grump that he's not even calling his 'acquaintances' for help. Zidane's just offering the closest and (apparently) fastest solution.

Zidane, unfortunately, raises a very valid point. He would have to walk all the way back home to take his shower. As if it isn't bad enough having people stare because of his prior infamy, having them think him a sexual degenerate would be even worse.

"...Fine. Fine! But you are not going to push me in!" He stomps over to the riverbank, loosening his tie as he goes. Despite his assertion, he halts on the bank, staring at the cold water with a grimace.

"Alright, alright. No pushing... I'll just watch your stuff over here and get Moguo to bring back a towel or something."

That way if it didn't work, at least he could dry off and not worry about that much. A cold dip, a quick dry, and then... well, if he got that phone, maybe someone would be here to help him back wherever he resided.

He shoots the boy one last, narrow look. He wouldn't put it past them to push him in regardless...but he decides to head off any such ideas by undressing behind a thick bush. He strips down to his undergarments and leaves everything folded neatly. His phone, alchemy pouch, and other small items are sandwiched between the layers.

Should Zidane manage to steal his phone whilst the older man has his back turned, he will find very few close contacts listed: Felih, Hythlodaeus, Irhya, The Matriarch.

As expected, the water is freezing. "By Zodiark, that chills," he grouses.

When he goes behind the bushes, Zidane gets the idea that Emet wants a little privacy and bothers to turn away. While he does, he pipes a brief whistle and there's soon an all too familiar 'kupo!' before the sentient ball of fluff with a red pom appears.

"Gonna need a towel, bud." There's a look. "Hey, not for me this time! And I'll get you a bag of assorted nuts later, deal?"

There's still a look, but the moogle does disappear. And it seems while they were talking, Emet finished undressing and began to move towards the water. So, Zidane will move over to his clothes and sit down next to them on the bank. His hands are very visible, but his tail's a snake. And while he makes to rummage in his pocket for his own phone, his tail draws away from the practically undisturbed pile of clothes to slip this new phone into his hand, Zidane making like he pulled his own phone out.

Huuu, top contacts huh? Well, he would be sending something out to all four just to see who would arrive first. Just the location to come find them before making to 'pocket' his phone again with a hum, his tail slipping it back into Emet's clothes.

[ Well, after she gets the message from Emet-Selch, she seems concerned enough to actually head on out. Not that she's too worried, he can usually handle himself, but she's a bit concerned he's getting into trouble.

Good thing she was already out gathering, so she's on the way already. She's looking around, wondering what's happening, but she's alert... ]

Hades? Answer me!

Ah, it's the first person to arrive. Zidane raises a hand when they approach, tilting his head a bit. If they look out to the water, there was Emet in his smallclothes...

"Hades?"

... He didn't know that guy was here. Maybe he could explain before Emet notices and gets mad (embarrassed) about it.

going with Quiver for maximum dunking on horny old man :')

Haha oh no!

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I am so sorry...

No apologizing, this is glorious.

Initiating alternate timelines, go!

Huzzah!

AUs upon AUs

You gotta have an AU on that AU upon AU

plz assume after her convo with Zidane or something