Fate/Cupid

[unknowntodeath]

🧙 WHO: Archer (EMIYA) & You
⚔️️ WHAT: February Catch-All
🕒 WHEN: February
🗺️ WHERE: Around Camelot
⚠️ WARNINGS: Archer is being a troll.


A: Cupid's Arrow Beta Testing
(also known as: how Archer formed a harem)


[Archer has no real desire to become nobility or a knight, but he's definitely bored so occasionally doing quests has become a thing. Hearing about the Beta testing for cupid arrows certainly sounded interesting.

Armed with an archery set, he sets out to walk around finding targets. Some of them are personal, most are as random as can be. Mostly people that either look like they aren't the type to be all amorous or just look plain grumpy.

Or just very, very random.

Either way, it could be anyone and he mostly tries to remain hidden so he doesn't get caught.]


B: Consequences
(also known as: how Archer regrets life)

[Firing arrows at so many people was a funny idea and certainly kept him entertained... until it totally backfired on him. He never intended any of them to get attracted to him and now there were multiple people attracted to him.

Archer is definitely not hiding from any of them in different places like the broom closet at the inn, a group on boxes on the streets or behind a tree. Just avoiding. Yeah.

Once someone he's avoiding has passed he looks at someone nearby.]

Did they go out of sight?


C: More cooking

[Cooking has more or less become a stress relief for Archer. Usually he prepares meals in advance for himself and maybe Rin and Saber but sometimes he leaves some food for anyone to grab.

Today's menu is based on Italian dishes, so there's a nice scent of herbs and pasta coming from the hotel common kitchen.]


D: Wildcard

Hit me up in PM's or sasageyo to plot something else.

Comments

C is for Cooking

[phoenixwiz]

Hi there, it smells really good in here. So what’s in the menu right now?

(Harry’s nosiness has him walking in on Archer as he is preparing food at the hotel common kitchen. Maybe he is in need of some cooking lessons perhaps. After all, he enjoys helping Mrs. Weasley out in cooking in the Burrow.)

[unknowntodeath]

[Archer has gotten used to people coming in when he's cooking. He doesn't really mind.]

Basic Bolognese sauce with some fresh herbs and pasta. Also some salad with an Italian style dressing... as close to Italian as it can be.

[phoenixwiz]

That really sounds tasty. Perhaps I can be of any help, then?

[unknowntodeath]

[Archer thinks about the offer for a while before nodding.]

You could finish the salad. There are still some ingredients that need to be chopped into good sized pieces.

[phoenixwiz]

Thanks, I’ll get into that right away.

(So Harry begins to chop the remaining salad ingredients into appropriately sized pieces and put them with the rest of the salad as soon as he finishes chopping them.)

[unknowntodeath]

Thank you, for offering to help. I realize now that I may have been a bit too ambitious.

[Hence why the salad was still on the works.]

[phoenixwiz]

You’re welcome, I’m glad to be of any help. I often love to help out with a friend’s mum at the kitchen back in my world.

[unknowntodeath]

It's a nice habit, cooking together. Has she taught you a lot?

[phoenixwiz]

Quite a lot, she is like a mother to me ever since I met her family years ago. Her family is the closest thing I could have for family back home.

(Though Harry is not feeling ready with telling Archer about his rocky family life with dead parents and terrible relatives just yet.)

B

[whatsamada]

[This surely was something Ken wasn't ever going to forget. Ever since he got hit with an arrow, he couldn't help but feel a little more happier lately. While he was worried about what would happen, nothing seemed too unusual yet.

But when he happened to see a man hiding behind a tree? That's when a smile appeared on his face.]

No but is everything okay? You seem a little scared!

[unknowntodeath]

I wouldn't say scared... just a little bewildered. Some of the arrows backfired on me.

[It was a bit unfortunate. Maybe if it was just one of them.]

[whatsamada]

I see.

[He said before looking a little sad at his dilemma. He didn't know how else to to help him with this issue but he did have an idea.]

What happened? If you don't mind me asking?

[unknowntodeath]

Some of the targets I had fell in love with me. It wasn't supposed to go like that.

[He had plans. They hadn't involved him at all.]

[whatsamada]

[....Oh.]

Then mind if I ask what it was suppose to be?

[Although, Ken was starting to get a little close to asking if he wanted a hug. Just to see if that would make him feel a little better from all the shenanigans going on.]

[unknowntodeath]

I mostly wanted to give them something else to think about.

[That or just troll them. Depends on who you ask about.]

[whatsamada]

[With that, Ken was starting to lean in even a little more closer to Archer before finally saying this.]

If it bothers you, we can go somewhere else? I don't know if they'll be able to find you but I think we'll need to find a better hiding spot outside of a tree.

[Just saying!]

A - Caster is best waifu

[colchismagecraft]

[In was lunchtime, and Caster was taking the time to get a little fresh air. This month would be... painful, without her precious Master around.

Well. She'd have to make do the best she can. She hated all of this, but what could she do?

Unfortunately for Caster, she was so occupied by the the thoughts swirling around in her head that she completely failed to notice Archer lining up a shot- and suddenly, a twinge of pain as an arrow impacted her back!]

What- who was that?!

[The anger was short lived, though, as the effects of the arrow started to wash over her. For a brief moment, an icy dread twisted into her as she recognised that sort of magic- the same Aphrodite had used to twist her mind all those years ago-]

...! I-I-...

[And then her eyes fell on Archer's hiding place. And in that moment, the warmth of infatuation took over completely.]

Archer- no, Emiya-sama? Is that you? It feels like I've barely seen you since I arrived here! You haven't been avoiding me, have you??

[Sorry, Archer, she's just going to be rushing over to latch onto your arm. You didn't need that right?]

[unknowntodeath]

[Archer had intended to go away, but he had wanted to see Caster let down her guard and be warm and fuzzy.

... but he hadn't expected the magic to turn on him like this. Emiya-sama? Seriously??

Also why is she latching onto him?? Now he can't escape.]

Caster... of course I haven't. We have just been in different places...

[colchismagecraft]

You've definitely been avoiding me...!

[This is totally the purple-haired waifu he wanted, right? She's just pouting up at him, keeping hold of his arm.]

You haven't come and said hello once, not even a visit to see how I'm settling in at all! That's just cruel.

[unknowntodeath]

[Definitely... the one. Archer can already feel a headache forming.]

I thought you might want some space... you were separated from your Master, after all.

[colchismagecraft]

[Well that- that made her flinch. The Cupid Arrow couldn't erase her feelings for her precious Master, after all.

...but of course, that just meant she wanted company from her 'beloved' Archer.]

I miss him... Emiya-sama, please stay with me? I don't want to be by myself.

[unknowntodeath]

[It's one mistake after another for him, it seems. Archer holds back a groan so he won't get into deeper trouble.]

Well, why don't I escort you back to your room, at least? We can see what to do after that.

[colchismagecraft]

You...want to go back to my room with me?

[Her eyes grow wide as she realises the nonexistent implication, her expression shifting to one of relief.]

A-ah- I didn't think you were so bold! Yes, let's!

[unknowntodeath]

[......

Just dig your grave even deeper, why don't you, Archer.]

I didn't mean it like that.

[colchismagecraft]

Ah, so you have a shy side as well, Emiya-sama? How cute.

[Yup, sorry Archer. Her mind goes to 'special' places when love spells are affecting her.

He's going to end up feeling sorry for Jason at this rate, isn't he?]

A - nero is worst waifu

[birdflipping]

[Nero had been minding his own business passing by when he... took a magical arrow to the knee. Which somehow doesn't hurt, but it doesn't stop him from looking around for its source and yelling:]

Hey, who the hell shot me?! I'll kick your ass!

[...Apparently the effects of the arrow haven't quite kicked in yet, because he's storming in the general direction of where the arrow came from.]

[unknowntodeath]

[Archer quickly hides the bow and points past himself.]

He went that way.

[birdflipping]

[Nero's about to charge right off in the direction indicated like the idiot he is, but then he stops and turns around. Not because he's suspicious, but because suddenly he's way more interested in talking to this guy... He looks him up and down, and is suddenly struck with deep concern.]

He didn't get you too, did he? Are you hurt?

[unknowntodeath]

[Well, it seemed the arrow had started to work. Though Archer had hoped he'd managed to run off further before it to make his escape.]

I'm fine. Nothing's hit me. You should really try and catch the culprit though, before he finds a new target.

[birdflipping]

Not a chance. What if he comes back to get you? I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you.

[this is getting very dramatic very quickly......]

[unknowntodeath]

That's... a bit extreme towards someone you just met.

[This whole cupid thing was a Mistake.]

[birdflipping]

Maybe, but it feels like we've known each other forever. Don't you feel the same way?

[don't you feel like it's.... fate/......]

A - Saber is the ULTIMATE waifu, everyone else sit down

[excalibeam]

[ She was just minding her own business. She had just finished a nice lunch out in the fields, and she was on her way back after a much-needed day of relaxation. No armor, no sword, just food.

And then Archer's arrow collides directly with her back. ]

Who dares...!?

[ As she whips around to look in the direction the arrow came from (and by extension, at Archer), the animosity suddenly... fades?

In any case, the arrow is immediately forgotten. You could consider this a good thing, but... ]

A-Archer! There you are!

[ She's suddenly stomping towards Archer, but strangely enough, she's... pouting? ]

[unknowntodeath]

[.... not again. Archer had just wanted to make her feel a little happy and affectionate to forget about Shirou leaving.

Yet again, the arrow had backfired. Why did this happen? And he had just gotten away from Caster...]

What is it Saber? You look upset.

[excalibeam]

Of course I am upset, Archer! Shirou is no longer here... but you still are! Therefore...

[ She grabs him by the arm and starts to drag him away. Is this affection? Apparently so. ]

It is only reasonable that you make up for his absence! Now, come! I haven't had lunch yet.

[ 1. No, that's not very reasonable at all.

2. Yes, yes she has had lunch... just now, actually. ]

[unknowntodeath]

[There's no logic in that at all! Archer sighs, wondering what kind of a mess he's created and how he'll survive... however long it takes.]

Rin is here, still, are you sure you wouldn't want to go on lunch with her?

[Not that he minds hanging out with Saber - in fact he rather enjoys it - but somehow he feels like it would be better to spend less time with her now that an arrow has hit her.]

[excalibeam]

Do not attempt to wriggle your way out of this, Archer! Now, come!

[ The attempt to use Rin as a logical reason to let him go is too logical for Saber in this state-of-mind. As a result, it goes completely over her head, and she's still attempting to drag him around.

You messed up, EMIYA. ]

[unknowntodeath]

[This sure was something he managed to bring upon himself. He holds back a sigh and just lets Saber lead him.]

Fine.

Kicks worst and best out but greedily keeps ultimate around and now u both Rin's harem

[greedyvixen]

[Joke's on you Archer because Rin is used to being amorous as fuck by having been in a different world, where that effect happened to her almost EVERY. DAMN. MONTH for over a year!!

Rin stops when that arrow hits her and she tries to see whoever shot it... Hiding huh? Fine! She'll pretend like she is walking away then.]

greedy as always

[unknowntodeath]

[At least this hadn't backfired on him. It was his last arrow anyway, so he's done with the experiment. At least Rin could feel a bit more chipper without worrying about Shirou leaving for a while.]