Eustace (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
flamekthunder) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
isleofavalon2021-10-03 02:40 pm
flamekthunder) wrote in isleofavalon2021-10-03 02:40 pm
seventh shot ⊗ open october log
🧙 WHO: Eustace and anyone
⚔️️ WHAT: various quests
🕒 WHEN: throughout October
🗺️ WHERE: various
⚠️ WARNINGS: none except depictions of death for headless horseman task and any potential violence that might happen in the combat oriented prompts
⊗ a: task - pumpkin mayhem
⊗ b: task - don't lose your head
⊗ c: tdm - not quite puppy parade
⊗ d: wildcard
⚔️️ WHAT: various quests
🕒 WHEN: throughout October
🗺️ WHERE: various
⚠️ WARNINGS: none except depictions of death for headless horseman task and any potential violence that might happen in the combat oriented prompts
⊗ a: task - pumpkin mayhem
[It's only by chance that Eustace narrowly dodges a pumpkin that just whizzes by his head, frowning as he stares at the flying gourd. At first he thought someone recklessly threw it, but then he sees it actually stop in mid-air and fling itself back towards him. Realizing it's moving on its own, he once again rolls out of the way, unholstering his gun as he does before quickly aiming and firing a bolt of lightning. It's a perfect shot, hitting it squarely in the center to cause it to explode into smaller pieces and fall to the ground below.]
...Was it cursed?
[Somehow he wouldn't be surprised if so, but hearing some shouts as more pumpkins roll and fly about disrupts his thoughts and he heads over to try and help take care of them. He doesn't necessarily want to shoot them given the mess they can make, but he sometimes doesn't have much of a choice. So hopefully no one gets too much pumpkin splatter on them.
BONUS: When not dealing with the pumpkins, if he is managed to get dragged into a patch he may be persuaded to decorate one (though he'll be wary and suspicious if he's learned that the pumpkins might come to life from there). But if he does decorate one, it'll be dog themed.]
...Was it cursed?
[Somehow he wouldn't be surprised if so, but hearing some shouts as more pumpkins roll and fly about disrupts his thoughts and he heads over to try and help take care of them. He doesn't necessarily want to shoot them given the mess they can make, but he sometimes doesn't have much of a choice. So hopefully no one gets too much pumpkin splatter on them.
BONUS: When not dealing with the pumpkins, if he is managed to get dragged into a patch he may be persuaded to decorate one (though he'll be wary and suspicious if he's learned that the pumpkins might come to life from there). But if he does decorate one, it'll be dog themed.]
⊗ b: task - don't lose your head
[Hearing about the Headless Horseman prompts Eustace to head back, a trip made easier thanks to having received the Celliwig totem earlier. Since it's difficult to track its movements, Eustace takes an area to help cover.
1. Helping...Paw? Although he could just stick to a perch and be ready to snipe, it leaves a bad taste in his mouth when he could also be helping. So when someone else is on guard, he drops down to do what he can, be it just clearing out rubble and debris or transporting the dead. That includes turning into a dog and try to help sniff out or dig out any remains. It's not the most pleasant work and it would be better if there weren't any, but he's fairly immune to the sad, grisly aspect of it.
2. Fighting the Horseman. When the Horseman does arrive, should he be at his perch he'll instantly fire a few shots of lightning down at it in attempts to deal damage as well as stun it, but he can't be too sure if his lightning will have that kind of effect. Regardless, he'll provide cover fire for anyone fighting on the ground.]
1. Helping...Paw? Although he could just stick to a perch and be ready to snipe, it leaves a bad taste in his mouth when he could also be helping. So when someone else is on guard, he drops down to do what he can, be it just clearing out rubble and debris or transporting the dead. That includes turning into a dog and try to help sniff out or dig out any remains. It's not the most pleasant work and it would be better if there weren't any, but he's fairly immune to the sad, grisly aspect of it.
2. Fighting the Horseman. When the Horseman does arrive, should he be at his perch he'll instantly fire a few shots of lightning down at it in attempts to deal damage as well as stun it, but he can't be too sure if his lightning will have that kind of effect. Regardless, he'll provide cover fire for anyone fighting on the ground.]
⊗ c: tdm - not quite puppy parade
[It's probably not too surprising to find Eustace making a small stop to look at the adoption fair. And as an animal mage, he figures he could help out if needed.
For now, he just looks over the pens with a curious eye when one he spots one of those hamsters toddling about. It doesn't take long for him to catch up to it and pick it up. But then there's another. ...And another one.
...
At some point, Eustace has an armful of hamsters including a few that managed to climb up on top of his head and shoulders.]
...Those wings won't save you if you fall, you know.
[Just a small sigh as he carefully makes his way through the crowd to try and bring them back. Anyone want to help???]
For now, he just looks over the pens with a curious eye when one he spots one of those hamsters toddling about. It doesn't take long for him to catch up to it and pick it up. But then there's another. ...And another one.
...
At some point, Eustace has an armful of hamsters including a few that managed to climb up on top of his head and shoulders.]
...Those wings won't save you if you fall, you know.
[Just a small sigh as he carefully makes his way through the crowd to try and bring them back. Anyone want to help???]
⊗ d: wildcard
[He'll also be hunting the forests to help bring in extra meat and other resources, so could have some run ins there! Considered the Forest of Fachan prompt line but might be better as dedicated with one or two people. Can do the other quests, and it's likely he might end up getting involved in the Suns out, Guns out task in the sense of trying to intervene any unnecessary violence, so that's another option. If interested in anything else not included here, just hit me up on ![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
laenavesse or discord and we can work something out!]
no subject
But the sight of the cave does surprise him, and he can't help but stare in wonder a little as well. It's not until Tifa sits that he turns his weary body towards her to look up at her. There's a bit of a grumbling whine and a huff, which she can probably easily imagine as one of his sighs, so he's all right for the most part, just tired. He then presses his paw against her forearm.
You?]
no subject
He seems to be okay, if not a bit tired, which is good. Her, though? She's had some time to think about things on the way, and although she might look physically fine on the outside, save for the minor cuts she sustained from the fall, or the limp she had in her step, there's a notable weariness that has her shoulders stiff, and her smile even stiffer.]
I'll be fine.
[Will she?
Tifa gives Eustace a small pat on the head, allowing the corner of her lips to pull upwards.]
Is this because of the magic, or the jump?
no subject
So instead of answering (not that he's really sure how he would be able to), he pushes himself higher up to her and lightly bumps his head against her chin.]
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Though she knows what that growl meant, and Tifa knows even more that she's not fooling anyone, least of all herself. She is not okay, and the walk here with him in her arms, weak and tired, was more than enough proof for her to see what she had refused to acknowledge for so long.
... ]
Thank you... for all that. [She drops her head and laughs.] For saving me and all.
no subject
...Speaking of, she had been injured, hadn't she? After giving her one last reproachful look for not being truthful, he gazes down at her arms and then half turns to look at her legs. Fortunately it doesn't look like she had any major cuts, but he sees the smaller ones. Really she should be taking care of herself, he'll be fine for now...
...
So as if to try and get her to change her attention to herself, he moves back down to first lick the cuts on the arm closest to him before hopping down to next to her leg. Unless she wants things to get awkward she better start tending to herself! Or he'll start licking her cuts on her legs he will do it.]
no subject
I'll be fine, [she restates, her voice a little firmer this time around.] I can get these looked after when we get back to the city.
[Whenever that will be. As soon as the fog clears, they can start heading back at least.
Besides, there are wounds that are cutting much deeper than those underneath her skin, pulling at the insides of her chest. The part of her that can't help but feel like it's all her fault for some reason—that him being stuck like this, or any injuries that he got was a failure on her part to protect him while he was busy doing the same for her. She didn't have his back.]
You're always the one to come save me when I'm in a bind. Funny...
[She laughs, but it's far from being a real, genuine one. There's nothing funny about it.]
It shouldn't be. [ ... ] You weren't the one who made the promise.
no subject
...?
He tilts his head slightly and looks up at her. What was she talking about... What does a promise have anything to do with helping an ally? ...Or in this case, a friend. However, her expression concerns him, and he realizes she must be referring to someone else. Should he press into it? But it's clearly personal...
Well, it's not like he can really do much as he is, so he just responds like he would have even if he were normal: just a silent gaze as he waits for her to either continue or leave it.]
no subject
They've been through so much together already. As kids, and now. They lost their home together, twice, and their friends and family. So why...
She shouldn't be so angry about this, but it's hard not to be when the thought is always there, constantly ringing its reminder in the back of her mind that she's been forgotten about. The constant pull of loneliness in her chest, and how that decade-long desire to be with Cloud is somehow fading, but not the want for... someone else? It's difficult to process.
Finally, after a longer stretch of silence—how long had it been? It felt like only a few seconds to her, but it had been minutes, she speaks in a strained voice.]
Cloud...
[And before she knows it or stop it, a sob breaks free, and she brings her hands up over her face to cover it up. It does nothing to stop it but does the opposite of that—her next one comes, bigger and louder, and tears start to pour down the sides of her buried face.]
He promised... I thought he forgot, after all this time, but he remembered...?
[Her voice strains at the question.
Had he truly remembered, or intended to keep that promise? If she was ever trapped or in trouble, he would come save her, but where was he now? She can't even fault him for it, she knows—perhaps he's moved on, or forgotten about her. They all had different memories, after all, and his could be out of sync with hers for all she knows, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. If anything, it only pains her more to think that they would be so out of sync.]
He promised he would be the one to...
[She can't even finish her sentence, her voice drowned out by her louder cries.]
no subject
The name rings a bell and image forms in his head. Fluffy...spikey...yellow... ...Bird? No that was his familiar. But before he can think further, he hears that sob and his eyes widen in shock.
—Tifa!?
Whatever he expected, it was nowhere close to this and he actually starts to feel some regret in having her go through this. However it may be for the best if she had been holding it in for so long. Even so, seeing her cry so desperately, there's a strange tightness in his chest, a scratchy feeling that refuses to be shaken off. He can hear the heartbreak in her voice, see it so clearly despite her attempts to hide her face behind her hands, feel in the wetness of her tears that drip onto his face as he looks up at her, a helpless feeling washing over him.
Briefly he's reminded of when she had opened the door when he saw her after Celliwig and how surprised he had been when she had started sobbing, but this...this felt different. For some reason it bothered him more.
A low whine escapes him as he reaches up to her, cursing the fact that he's stuck like this. Comforting people...he's already not that great at it but what can even do like this?? All he can do is softly whine again as if calling out to her and lightly bump his head against the underside of her chin, nuzzling her gently as he tries to display some kind of reassurance and comfort to her. When he feels more of those tears, he instinctively moves his head so that he can lightly lick the ones at her chin. It's all he can do, but he really wishes he could just use his damn hands. If he wasn't like this, if he was just back to normal he could...]
no subject
The tickle against her chin has her lowering her hands, finding Eustace's puppy eyes so dangerously close to her own, but she doesn't pull away—she only laughs quietly at his attempt to console her in whatever way he can in this form, and... well, it's enough. Enough to remind her of everything else she thought about on their way to the cave.]
You're always there for me, you know.
[She takes hold of his front paws and gently picks them up from the ground. It's odd that she feels more comfortable reaching out when he's... like this rather than himself.]
Every time I'm in a bind, you've always had my back.
[She says it as if it's such a strange thing. In a way, it is. She never thought it would be Eustace she'd be spending her time with, but for some reason, she finds herself more drawn to him than anyone else she's met in this place. Could it be because she knows she can trust him?
She sniffles again, breaking out another sob and lowering her head so that it almost bumps into the top of his.]
You don't have to be, but... you are. Even tonight. [He put himself at risk to get them both out of trouble, expending all of his magic and trusting her to take that leap across with him. A hand reaches up to wipe away another tear.] I feel like thank you isn't enough sometimes.
[Another sniffle, and she shakes her head.]
This is so stupid...
[When has crying ever gotten her anywhere?]
no subject
He doesn't understand why, but all he knows is he doesn't like seeing Tifa like this. That weird tight, scratchy feeling has only grown as he continues to hear her.
Yet, he also doesn't understand what she means. Always there for her...how? He's not sure what he's done any differently or special to make her think that way. Of course he's helped her when she needed it, but usually she's the one dragging him around or getting involved in his affairs. It's only recently that he's voluntarily sought her out on his own. If anything, hasn't she helped him more? Put herself more at risk for his sake?
There's another low grumbling whine as if in protest as he closes that gap between them, his forehead bumping against hers.
Even so, Eustace can sense something here—a gap that he somehow filled without either of them knowing. He doesn't know the story behind her and Cloud, or what she's really thinking of himself right now, but it's clear she's been hurting over it.
...And he really, really just doesn't like it. Doesn't like that he can't do anything more than whine and rub his head against her. He wants to tell her with words what he thinks and...to...
Just as he's making that wish, there's a burst of magic wind like a poof and suddenly he's staring wide-eyed down at Tifa, her deep red eyes reflecting his momentarily stunned face. The long bangs of his hair hanging over her face like a curtain and his nose brushing against hers, his warm breath ghosts over her lips at a dangerously close distance. Only after another heartstopping moment does he pull back a fraction, his hand slowly reaching up so that his thumb can lightly brush against her face. His expression now softened, he stares at her for another moment before he finally speaks.]
...It's not stupid. Whatever you're feeling and whatever you do about it, it's not stupid.
[He then wraps his arms around her and pulls her to him as he sits back so that he's no longer on top of her.]
So don't hold it back, it's fine. ...I'm here for you.
no subject
Don't hold back. It's fine. I'm here for you.
Those were the words she needed to let everything come out in full force, and not just the things she's felt since coming to Camelot. The memories of leaving Midgar behind, of finding her bar in ruins, watching the plate fall over the place she called home, and the fires that stung her skin in Nibelheim. Everything—she lets it all out in sobs, louder and more powerful. They make her shake and grabbing onto him is all Tifa can do to not let herself be completely consumed by it all.
She tried to be strong for him. For her, and everyone else, but even the strongest fall sometimes, and they need someone to catch them.
As long as he'll let her, Tifa will stay there, crying into and soaking his shoulder. The sobs come and go in waves, her chest heaving as she tries to catch her breath in between, but they'll die down eventually, long enough for her to let her hands fall from his chest and for her to lift her head just far enough so she can speak to him and not into him.
Tifa still feels silly for crying about all of this, or crying at all, but... she realizes now that she's needed this.
...
Trying to lighten the mood and steer any lingering attention away from the fact that she spent so long like this, she pushes herself away now—only slightly—with a shaky laugh, but it comes out more as a breath.]
Welcome back.
no subject
It's not the first time he's heard someone's heartwrenching wails, not the first time he's seen the raw emotions. He's even had his own share even if that had been from a distant past. But although he always felt pity or sympathy, he never felt as moved and frustrated as he does now. Never had he felt so helpless and wanting to do something to stop them from feeling this way. Yet here with Tifa in his arms, he feels exactly that. Maybe it's only because she's the first one to be like this since his own heart had opened up from its once frozen state. Maybe it's only because he's allowing himself to feel more than he used to. Maybe he could have felt like this with anyone else and she just happened to be the one right now.
Or maybe it's something else.
He doesn't know. He probably won't know for a while. All he does know is that this feeling is suffocating. Even if he remains calm on the outside, it's as if some kind of spark is kindling inside, making him restless. Yet he suppresses it and only waits—waits for her to let it out, waits for her to calm down on her own. Slowly he'll rub her back, a hand drifting to thread through her hair and support the back of her head as he keeps her nestled close against him. Waits for her to loosen that hold on him and look at him, his gaze calm and quiet even when she pushes back a little more.
Hearing her words and that shaky laugh... There's a small tug at the corner of his lips as he goes along with it.]
...I'm back.
[Even if he had never left her he knows what she means. Yet... Why does saying those two little words sound different despite having said it to countless people before?
He reaches up to once again slowly brush his thumb against her cheek and under her eyes, pushing back a few long strands of hair away.]
But this is the second time... You're not going to cry every time I return, are you?
no subject
Is he... making a joke right now? Of all the times, she thinks to herself, but she isn't mad. It draws a small laugh out of her, and a sad smile.
"I'm back" — they're so simple, those words, but for whatever reason she doesn't have the strength to pinpoint right now, they mean so much to her coming from him. All her life, she'd felt abandoned and alone, living every day wishing that she wouldn't be so alone, and fearing that the people who did come to her would return each day to see her again.
Knowing that she can count on him to always come back? That means the most to her right now, and it takes all of the fortitude she has left not to let herself break down again. He'll see the tears welling up once more before she looks away, and they pour down her cheeks. Damn, she'd just wiped them clean, too.
Tifa pushes a fist against his chest, and in turn, it pushes her a little further away.]
I'll try not to.
[She's withdrawing now, that fluttering in her stomach and chest only growing until it's uncomfortable.]
As long as you keep out of trouble next time.
no subject
So before the hand that's on his chest is able to move away, his own covers it, stopping her from pulling away any further.]
Tifa.
[His voice is a low rumble as his other hand reaches back to lightly touch her face, making her look at him. Instead of responding to what she said, he just stares at her, his expression loosening a bit to something a little...worried. Uncertain.]
...I don't normally comfort people like this so I don't really know what I should do or what would be right for you. What I do know is... [That he doesn't like seeing her like this. That it bothers him more than it should and he doesn't know why. That he prefers when she's smiling and not trying to put up a front. That he wants to stop it but he has no idea how.] ...You don't need to hide it...at least not from me.
[Instead of saying his true thoughts, he pulls her back to him, his arms encircling her firmly so that she can't push away from him too easily.]
So just use me. I'll...be here for you.
[He wanted to say "always," but he knows far too well that he can't make that kind of promise. Not when no one knows when they could leave this place. Besides, that's probably too...heavy of a promise. Too "intimate." But at least this much—at least being there for her when she needs it for as long as he's able. He can do at least that much.
...No, he wants to be the one. To be the one that's with her when she's feeling so vulnerable and alone, to be the one to provide her comfort and the only one to see her like this. It's a strange feeling and he won't think about it right now...or rather, he already has an inkling of what it is and has been both unconsciously and consciously suppressing it. But right now that's what's currently pulsing through him the longer he holds her like this.
And the longer he holds her, the more his conviction to keep his usual distance wavers.]
no subject
Eustace...?
She squeaks quietly against his chest, but she makes no effort to move. His warmth is inviting, so she allows herself the selfish moment of burrowing into it, curling up once more. She tries not to let the tension in her entire body show, but it's too obvious to be able to mask it. Her hands remain balled into fists, her shoulders up near her ears, and her jaw clamped tight.
With no clue what to say to him at first, there's a silence that hangs over them. It could be just her, but it's so tense that it feels like the air could snap under the lightest breath, and so she holds as much air in her lungs she can manage while she tries to put words together to say. To explain to him why she had sprung this on him so suddenly, and unintentionally. This wasn't how this night was supposed to go. It had already gone sideways when the fog rolled in, and now...? Where were they now?
What the hell is she doing?
... ]
Cloud and I grew up together, [she begins finally. However long after, she has no idea.] In Nibelheim. He lived next door. He was always so shy, never wanted to hang out with the rest of us, no matter how many times I asked.
[A small, fond breath of laughter rings out from her. Why is she even telling him this?]
I always thought he was... [No, what she was going to say is silly, so she steers it away.] He left for Midgar to be a SOLDIER... become a war hero. I was thirteen, at the time. I always admired him, you know. I don't think he knew that.
[ ... ]
Anyway. That night, when he told me he was leaving, I made him promise that... he'd come save me if I was ever in trouble.
[In case he wondered what that promise meant.]
We finally saw each other again after five years, in Midgar. I found him lying on the platform at the train station, and I... we... [She sighs again.] Few days later, I show up here. Next thing I know, Aerith's telling me she hasn't seen him and I...
[Her fingers curl into Eustace's shirt again, and she swallows her words the moment she feels that surge of emotion rising up again.]
no subject
He now realizes she's opening up to him, telling him what's been on her mind and what she was talking about before. So he waits with patient silence, arms loosening slightly. This relationship with Cloud... He continues to track through his mind. When it comes to people, he'll either discard them after the first meeting or remember their name, face, and voice with little issue. However, he had only met the man once during his very first weeks in Camelot, so it takes him a bit to recall why the name sounded familiar and the circumstances of their meeting. With a bit more solid background, he continues to read between the lines.
Tifa and Cloud were childhood friends, but given her words and her behavior... Even he knows enough about relationships that she likely felt something more for the guy. Whether it's actual love or a crush he couldn't say, but it's something deep.
He gives her a moment when he feels her grip tightening against him before he quietly asks:]
You've never seen him? ...Is he even still here?
no subject
I don't know...
[Besides everything that had been on her mind since seeing him again in Midgar—the doubts, the fears—they had always been so in sync, in and out of battle. She knew Cloud better than anyone, and no one knew Tifa better than he did, but not knowing this? It hurts.]
Maybe he doesn't want to be found. I just thought... if he was here, he'd be with Aerith and Red, but...
[Neither of them knew where he was, and so Tifa just went on with her life while trying to piece together what to do or what she would say if she did see him, before she finally started to accept that maybe things were meant to be different here. And more and more, she's beginning to wonder how much of that is true as she feels Eustace's arms tighten around her.
Here is a friend who, for better or worse, has been through more with her than anyone else in this damn city. She should be asking herself why the hell she's still thinking about Cloud Strife and beating herself up for not going out to find him, but asking those questions means finding the answers, and she's not sure she's ready to know what those are just yet.]
Guess I just missed him more than I thought...
[There's a final sort of note in the way she says it. As if she's accepted just now that this is how things are going to be. Tifa should be okay with it, right? They're all grownups.]
And I guess... walking here after all that, and carrying you, got me thinking.
no subject
...I think I met him once, around the time I first arrived. If you want, I could try and look for him.
[It's a quiet offer, one that for some reason leaves him a conflicted feeling. On the one hand, he wants to help her. On the other hand...if they reunite, what would happen? More to the point, why should he care? If she wants to see Cloud again, whatever her true feelings are, wouldn't it be better if she did? To at least have some kind of answer? He understands she might be afraid if it's negative, but...if it's positive...
...
Why is that bothering him? ...It has nothing to do with him. If anything, all he did was remind her of Cloud's absence, that's all. The one she wants to be with is—
It's a good thing he hardly ever reveals his thoughts, his expression unreadable despite the strange discomfort that's suddenly rippling through him again.]
no subject
Too bad she can't literally ask herself.
Pulling back just far enough that she can at least look at Eustace, Tifa shakes her head.]
No. It's fine. You don't have to do that.
[It's asking for too much from Eustace, and Cloud. Putting pressure on him that perhaps he doesn't want. She knows Cloud, she knows him better than anyone else, and that if Cloud doesn't want something, doing it will only work in pushing him further away from her.
Besides...
She can't help herself. She slides her arms around Eustace, allowing herself to fall against him again in a proper hug this time. Had she hugged him before like this? Not that she can recall, but then again, she had been in a sleepy stupor the night they went on that "date", which... hm. She'd rather not go back to that memory if she can help it—it only made things awkward for them for a time.
Tifa wants to tell him what she's thinking right now as her arms tighten around him. That she's grateful for all he's done... For having her back countless times, and for always being there. Camelot is such a lonely place, but it feels a little bit less lonely with him around. She wants to tell him that she's realized something on her quiet walk through the woods... That he really is more than enough.
Instead, she sighs.]
Thank you...
no subject
But then he immediately stiffens when Tifa hugs him, her arms tightening around him. It's only for a beat or two, but he could feel his pulse quicken. He's been surprised by sudden hugs before, but why does this feel different? Why is his body reacting more sensitively to her actions, more aware of the way the warmth of her small frame presses against him? How easily she fits within his arms as they start to tighten around her in response. He had been holding her this whole time and yet it's only now that he feels this way.
Is it because she's the one who initiated the contact?]
...Mm.
[Slowly the side of his head lightly rests against just above her ear so that she can hear his low, soft hum in response. This doesn't mean anything—he's just giving her a very small display of affection in response to hers, that's all. Just another gesture of comfort.
That's all it is, nothing more.
—Who is he fooling. All those questions on "why" and "how," he's known the answer. He just never wanted to admit it. But no longer can Eustace deny what he started to notice recently and tried to ignore. Tried to just pass it off as something only in the moment, a part of what was happening at the time. Regardless of how distant he has been with people, he's not so much of an idiot or dense to not realize what's been happening. Perhaps he could have remained ignorant, but after what happened at the strip club and then later when he spent the night at her place to help look after Clover, he can't. It's impossible. No, his real questions had been why it was happening at all, how did it even start. Why Tifa of all people?
And why hasn't he been able to stop it.
His need to maintain a reasonable distance isn't just for himself but for others as well. If things were different, if there was a sense of permanence then he wouldn't feel as much hesitation and conflict as he does now. But knowing he could disappear at any moment and knowing full well how hard it is to lose someone you care about... It's why despite his yearnings he would never adopt any dogs in this world. He doesn't want anyone he leaves behind to feel hurt, it just feels too irresponsible.
And after hearing about Tifa and Cloud...
Again Eustace can only think it better if he returned to his usual distance. There's nothing wrong with still being her friend or supporting her, but they are toeing a very dangerous line, a line he never thought he'd ever even come close to seeing. What he feels... There is something there, more than there should be.
Yet despite knowing all that, a little bud of greed has its way, keeping his hold on her for a little longer than might be necessary. With her so close, that sweet scent that he's become so familiar with becomes more like a dangerous lure, drawing him in. As if tempted, his lips part, a warm breath brushing against her ear before it lowers closer to her neck.
But then it stops just a hairbreadth's away and quiet words leave him instead.]
...We should start setting up camp for the night.
[Though with how close his lips are, the movement ghosts over her skin. A little closer and perhaps he could feel her pulse...
No, he needs to stop here. Especially now of all times... The hell is he thinking, if at all?
He also knows he's being a hypocrite. Just before he was the one trying to close the distance between them, to keep her from pulling away. Now he's trying to put that distance back. Not only that, he doesn't really make any move to separate, his head still resting against hers and his arms still wrapped around her waist. Normally he would be able to pull away easily, but it's as if he knows the moment he does is the moment he will need to reassess everything and redraw that line.
So maybe it's that same budding greed that keeps him from taking action just yet.]
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Instinct tells her to lean further into it. Her eyes flutter shut and with a dazed breath, she sinks into him, his lips coming dangerously close to her skin. Her own short, shaky breaths burn against his neck, and she waits. For what? Not even Tifa is fully aware of what that is, let alone that she's waiting for anything at all. There's that pang of selfishness, and perhaps the hope that this will evolve into something more. Something else.
That he'll tell her what she doesn't realize she wants him to say until he says it.
Eustace's voice shudders in her ears, and there's the prickle of chills across her neck and arms, and in that moment, it takes her a second to parse what he's said, and the twinge of disappointment that follows. Set up camp? Is that what was going through his head then? That's when it sets in that... she had been hoping for something else. Something that they might have come alarmingly close to if she'd just...
There's a sharp sigh that escapes her, and Tifa is quick to pull away, putting that distance there that Eustace had been so close to doing himself. Her dried up tears still stain her cheeks, and she wipes them away one last time before sliding back across the ground to give herself the room she needs to get up... and separate herself from whatever she'd just been feeling.
It doesn't help. It only makes her feel empty again. Alone.]
Right... [she says at last, her voice quiet and heavy with shame.] Camp.
[It makes sense that it would be the first and only thing on his mind. Eustace is a practical man, after all, and it was silly of her to dump all of that on him without any warning. Silly of her to hold onto even the small, tiniest possibility of something else...
Stupid.
Flexing her fingers in an effort to shake it all off, she puts on a smile and looks around them for any sign of kindling they might use to make a fire, but they're surrounded by nothing but rock and green, glowing mushrooms that, now that she's looking at them again, remind her all too much of the glow of mako...
So, she turns to the cave's entrance.]
I can go grab some firewood.
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I'll clear out space here.
[His answer is almost automatic...and strangely cold as he suppresses the unwanted tension coiling in his chest. As he thought, given her reaction and behavior, Tifa was also feeling...something towards him. Towards "them." Briefly he wonders if it would really be so bad, but as the numerous rational and practical reasons cycle through his mind, he just turns so his back is to her.
Distance... He needs to maintain distance.
How he wishes he could just be ignorant and not realize anything...or be more free spirited to ignore the weights of responsibility and act on impulses.]
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Gathering what wood she can at least gives her time to clear her head, but she finds herself taking her time—more than usual when the distracting thoughts start to come back. The twisting in her stomach, the pull of frustration and shame in her chest, and that odd yet familiar desire for more, and then those pangs of sadness when she remembers why she's out here.
The camp. They need to make a fire if they're going to stay warm for the night. The fog is still too thick for them to make any attempt to find their way back to the city, so they'll have to wait it out if they want to avoid getting more lost than they already are. And Eustace is back there waiting for her... he's there.
And in that split second of remembering that he is, she considers running. Running as far as her tired legs will take her, hoping that it will eventually lead her home, and away so that she can continue pretending like none of this happened without having to bear being near him as a constant reminder that it did.
...
She couldn't do that to him, though. Not after all he's done for her. He deserves better than that. Better than her. Someone who isn't thinking about how much she misses her best friend while she's with him.
He'll hear her footsteps coming before he sees her, and for all the time it took Tifa to return, it's with only a small armful of wood that she picked up from the ground, and she tosses it onto the cave floor in the space that he's cleared with a sigh. Still tense in here. She can feel it. Ugh.]
Kinda hard to find dry wood after all that rain, but this should last us a while.
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One he had iced out to protect himself and now reminded of how it feels again. Only this time, he had brought it on himself.]
...Dammit.
[A silent swear as he runs a hand over his face and through his hair before it ends with a frustrated sigh. Even he realizes what he's doing is poorly timed, especially after she opened herself up to him. But he could feel it. Could feel himself getting drawn too close than should be allowed. A warmth that he had started to get too comfortable with without realizing it until it was too late. And his instinctive reaction was to coldly push her away and distance himself...
It's true what everyone says, he really is an ass.
So with that darkened mood, Eustace turns his attention to what needs to be done. He picks a spot as far back into the cave as possible, clearing off the moss and mushrooms so that a stray spark won't fall on them. He even sets aside the mushrooms that seem edible, either for them or to bring back. He also has his usual small supply of rations he carries with him, but...he knows he has no appetite and he's not sure if tifa will either. The moss itself can be used as kindling, though given that they both can use elemental magic, starting a fire won't be difficult. The floor clear, he gathers some rocks within and just outside the cave to contain the fire.
With the additional time, he looks around to see what else they could use. They'll have to sleep on the floor so...hm. Taking off his holster and pouches, he sets them aside before undoing his cloak to set it aside as well. Although the cold air hits his exposed skin, he actually appreciates it, needing that bit of shock to awaken his senses. It's not even that cold for him, but it may be different for Tifa, so already having his cloak set aside for her will...make things easier.
So when Tifa returns, Eustace will be sitting on the floor with his knife out, cutting through the moss. All in all, it looks like a proper, if impromptu, campsite. He doesn't even look up when he hears her, though his eyes do rise up slightly when she tosses the questionably small amount of wood.
...No, he can't really blame her. She likely spent a lot of time clearing her thoughts like he's had to.]
It's fine, what you've found is enough. I can cut through it and get to the dry wood. The moss here will work as additional kindling as well.
[His voice carries its usual quiet and steady cadence as he sets down his knife and crouches forward to inspect and sort through the wood, picking the pieces that could be used right away before setting aside the ones best saved to feed into later. Once it's arranged, he just casts a small fire spell and soon it ignites into a decent flame, the scent of burning wood and moss slowly rising before drifting out the cave opening.
After that... ...There's a short pause before he continues.]
...It's not much, but I do have some food if you're hungry...and you can use my cloak if you're cold.
[He doesn't quite look directly at her, knowing that him making these offers may seem like just small gestures—offers that he half expects her to reject. He feels he should also apologize, but what would he really be apologizing for? Other than seemingly brushing her off earlier.
...
He really has no idea what to do or think right now. Maybe he should just stop and focus on getting through the night.]
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