seventh shot ⊗ open october log

[flamekthunder]

🧙 WHO: Eustace and anyone
⚔️️ WHAT: various quests
🕒 WHEN: throughout October
🗺️ WHERE: various
⚠️ WARNINGS: none except depictions of death for headless horseman task and any potential violence that might happen in the combat oriented prompts

⊗ a: task - pumpkin mayhem

[It's only by chance that Eustace narrowly dodges a pumpkin that just whizzes by his head, frowning as he stares at the flying gourd. At first he thought someone recklessly threw it, but then he sees it actually stop in mid-air and fling itself back towards him. Realizing it's moving on its own, he once again rolls out of the way, unholstering his gun as he does before quickly aiming and firing a bolt of lightning. It's a perfect shot, hitting it squarely in the center to cause it to explode into smaller pieces and fall to the ground below.]

...Was it cursed?

[Somehow he wouldn't be surprised if so, but hearing some shouts as more pumpkins roll and fly about disrupts his thoughts and he heads over to try and help take care of them. He doesn't necessarily want to shoot them given the mess they can make, but he sometimes doesn't have much of a choice. So hopefully no one gets too much pumpkin splatter on them.

BONUS: When not dealing with the pumpkins, if he is managed to get dragged into a patch he may be persuaded to decorate one (though he'll be wary and suspicious if he's learned that the pumpkins might come to life from there). But if he does decorate one, it'll be dog themed.]

⊗ b: task - don't lose your head

[Hearing about the Headless Horseman prompts Eustace to head back, a trip made easier thanks to having received the Celliwig totem earlier. Since it's difficult to track its movements, Eustace takes an area to help cover.

1. Helping...Paw? Although he could just stick to a perch and be ready to snipe, it leaves a bad taste in his mouth when he could also be helping. So when someone else is on guard, he drops down to do what he can, be it just clearing out rubble and debris or transporting the dead. That includes turning into a dog and try to help sniff out or dig out any remains. It's not the most pleasant work and it would be better if there weren't any, but he's fairly immune to the sad, grisly aspect of it.

2. Fighting the Horseman. When the Horseman does arrive, should he be at his perch he'll instantly fire a few shots of lightning down at it in attempts to deal damage as well as stun it, but he can't be too sure if his lightning will have that kind of effect. Regardless, he'll provide cover fire for anyone fighting on the ground.]

⊗ c: tdm - not quite puppy parade

[It's probably not too surprising to find Eustace making a small stop to look at the adoption fair. And as an animal mage, he figures he could help out if needed.

For now, he just looks over the pens with a curious eye when one he spots one of those hamsters toddling about. It doesn't take long for him to catch up to it and pick it up. But then there's another. ...And another one.

...

At some point, Eustace has an armful of hamsters including a few that managed to climb up on top of his head and shoulders.]

...Those wings won't save you if you fall, you know.

[Just a small sigh as he carefully makes his way through the crowd to try and bring them back. Anyone want to help???]

⊗ d: wildcard

[He'll also be hunting the forests to help bring in extra meat and other resources, so could have some run ins there! Considered the Forest of Fachan prompt line but might be better as dedicated with one or two people. Can do the other quests, and it's likely he might end up getting involved in the Suns out, Guns out task in the sense of trying to intervene any unnecessary violence, so that's another option. If interested in anything else not included here, just hit me up on laenavesse or discord and we can work something out!]

Comments

[starshower]

[Knowing that Eustace, too, had seen him... Was she really the only one who hasn't? Of all the people... She does wonder though, remembering that there was a previous iteration of herself here, had that version of Tifa met with Cloud? Did she know what was going on? So, what changed in that time? It clearly wasn't long in between, judging by what Aerith had said when she first walked into that flower shop of hers... She tries not to think about those missing memories too much, but now she can't help but ask herself.

Too bad she can't literally ask herself.

Pulling back just far enough that she can at least look at Eustace, Tifa shakes her head.]

No. It's fine. You don't have to do that.

[It's asking for too much from Eustace, and Cloud. Putting pressure on him that perhaps he doesn't want. She knows Cloud, she knows him better than anyone else, and that if Cloud doesn't want something, doing it will only work in pushing him further away from her.

Besides...

She can't help herself. She slides her arms around Eustace, allowing herself to fall against him again in a proper hug this time. Had she hugged him before like this? Not that she can recall, but then again, she had been in a sleepy stupor the night they went on that "date", which... hm. She'd rather not go back to that memory if she can help it—it only made things awkward for them for a time.

Tifa wants to tell him what she's thinking right now as her arms tighten around him. That she's grateful for all he's done... For having her back countless times, and for always being there. Camelot is such a lonely place, but it feels a little bit less lonely with him around. She wants to tell him that she's realized something on her quiet walk through the woods... That he really is more than enough.

Instead, she sighs.]

Thank you...

[flamekthunder]

[Is it strange for him to feel relief? No, it was strange for him to feel disturbed and feeling discomfort to begin with when he first asked. Yet it's clear that the tension he felt in his chest has dissipated when she refuses his offer, his body relaxing a bit more as his gaze unknowingly softens.

But then he immediately stiffens when Tifa hugs him, her arms tightening around him. It's only for a beat or two, but he could feel his pulse quicken. He's been surprised by sudden hugs before, but why does this feel different? Why is his body reacting more sensitively to her actions, more aware of the way the warmth of her small frame presses against him? How easily she fits within his arms as they start to tighten around her in response. He had been holding her this whole time and yet it's only now that he feels this way.

Is it because she's the one who initiated the contact?]

...Mm.

[Slowly the side of his head lightly rests against just above her ear so that she can hear his low, soft hum in response. This doesn't mean anything—he's just giving her a very small display of affection in response to hers, that's all. Just another gesture of comfort.

That's all it is, nothing more.




—Who is he fooling. All those questions on "why" and "how," he's known the answer. He just never wanted to admit it. But no longer can Eustace deny what he started to notice recently and tried to ignore. Tried to just pass it off as something only in the moment, a part of what was happening at the time. Regardless of how distant he has been with people, he's not so much of an idiot or dense to not realize what's been happening. Perhaps he could have remained ignorant, but after what happened at the strip club and then later when he spent the night at her place to help look after Clover, he can't. It's impossible. No, his real questions had been why it was happening at all, how did it even start. Why Tifa of all people?

And why hasn't he been able to stop it.

His need to maintain a reasonable distance isn't just for himself but for others as well. If things were different, if there was a sense of permanence then he wouldn't feel as much hesitation and conflict as he does now. But knowing he could disappear at any moment and knowing full well how hard it is to lose someone you care about... It's why despite his yearnings he would never adopt any dogs in this world. He doesn't want anyone he leaves behind to feel hurt, it just feels too irresponsible.

And after hearing about Tifa and Cloud...

Again Eustace can only think it better if he returned to his usual distance. There's nothing wrong with still being her friend or supporting her, but they are toeing a very dangerous line, a line he never thought he'd ever even come close to seeing. What he feels... There is something there, more than there should be.

Yet despite knowing all that, a little bud of greed has its way, keeping his hold on her for a little longer than might be necessary. With her so close, that sweet scent that he's become so familiar with becomes more like a dangerous lure, drawing him in. As if tempted, his lips part, a warm breath brushing against her ear before it lowers closer to her neck.

But then it stops just a hairbreadth's away and quiet words leave him instead.]

...We should start setting up camp for the night.

[Though with how close his lips are, the movement ghosts over her skin. A little closer and perhaps he could feel her pulse...

No, he needs to stop here. Especially now of all times... The hell is he thinking, if at all?

He also knows he's being a hypocrite. Just before he was the one trying to close the distance between them, to keep her from pulling away. Now he's trying to put that distance back. Not only that, he doesn't really make any move to separate, his head still resting against hers and his arms still wrapped around her waist. Normally he would be able to pull away easily, but it's as if he knows the moment he does is the moment he will need to reassess everything and redraw that line.

So maybe it's that same budding greed that keeps him from taking action just yet.]

[starshower]

[From here, she can feel every small movement he makes—every breath, every twitch of his muscles, and every beat of his heart in tandem with her own thundering in her head, and how it quickens with hers. When had she become so hyper-aware of it all? When did she become so aware of how his familiar scent—the smell of bergamot and lime, cedarwood and jasmine—mixes in her head to a dizzying point, or how close he is when she feels his breath tickle her ear, and his hair on her neck?

Instinct tells her to lean further into it. Her eyes flutter shut and with a dazed breath, she sinks into him, his lips coming dangerously close to her skin. Her own short, shaky breaths burn against his neck, and she waits. For what? Not even Tifa is fully aware of what that is, let alone that she's waiting for anything at all. There's that pang of selfishness, and perhaps the hope that this will evolve into something more. Something else.

That he'll tell her what she doesn't realize she wants him to say until he says it.

Eustace's voice shudders in her ears, and there's the prickle of chills across her neck and arms, and in that moment, it takes her a second to parse what he's said, and the twinge of disappointment that follows. Set up camp? Is that what was going through his head then? That's when it sets in that... she had been hoping for something else. Something that they might have come alarmingly close to if she'd just...

There's a sharp sigh that escapes her, and Tifa is quick to pull away, putting that distance there that Eustace had been so close to doing himself. Her dried up tears still stain her cheeks, and she wipes them away one last time before sliding back across the ground to give herself the room she needs to get up... and separate herself from whatever she'd just been feeling.

It doesn't help. It only makes her feel empty again. Alone.]

Right... [she says at last, her voice quiet and heavy with shame.] Camp.

[It makes sense that it would be the first and only thing on his mind. Eustace is a practical man, after all, and it was silly of her to dump all of that on him without any warning. Silly of her to hold onto even the small, tiniest possibility of something else...

Stupid.

Flexing her fingers in an effort to shake it all off, she puts on a smile and looks around them for any sign of kindling they might use to make a fire, but they're surrounded by nothing but rock and green, glowing mushrooms that, now that she's looking at them again, remind her all too much of the glow of mako...

So, she turns to the cave's entrance.]

I can go grab some firewood.

[flamekthunder]

[The moment she pulls away is the moment he actually regrets his decision and has to stop himself from retracting everything and pull her back. With his hands now on his knees, his fingers clench into a tight fist as he looks away, darkened, conflicted gaze hidden before he also stands.]

I'll clear out space here.

[His answer is almost automatic...and strangely cold as he suppresses the unwanted tension coiling in his chest. As he thought, given her reaction and behavior, Tifa was also feeling...something towards him. Towards "them." Briefly he wonders if it would really be so bad, but as the numerous rational and practical reasons cycle through his mind, he just turns so his back is to her.

Distance... He needs to maintain distance.


How he wishes he could just be ignorant and not realize anything...or be more free spirited to ignore the weights of responsibility and act on impulses.]

[starshower]

[His words and his voice are more biting than any chill in the cave, or what could be waiting for her outside, and she doesn't say anything when she walks away, towards the mouth of the cave and vanishes back into the fog. She won't stray too far away, and at least now, she has the glow of the mushrooms to help guide her back, but it'll be a while before she returns.

Gathering what wood she can at least gives her time to clear her head, but she finds herself taking her time—more than usual when the distracting thoughts start to come back. The twisting in her stomach, the pull of frustration and shame in her chest, and that odd yet familiar desire for more, and then those pangs of sadness when she remembers why she's out here.

The camp. They need to make a fire if they're going to stay warm for the night. The fog is still too thick for them to make any attempt to find their way back to the city, so they'll have to wait it out if they want to avoid getting more lost than they already are. And Eustace is back there waiting for her... he's there.

And in that split second of remembering that he is, she considers running. Running as far as her tired legs will take her, hoping that it will eventually lead her home, and away so that she can continue pretending like none of this happened without having to bear being near him as a constant reminder that it did.

...

She couldn't do that to him, though. Not after all he's done for her. He deserves better than that. Better than her. Someone who isn't thinking about how much she misses her best friend while she's with him.

He'll hear her footsteps coming before he sees her, and for all the time it took Tifa to return, it's with only a small armful of wood that she picked up from the ground, and she tosses it onto the cave floor in the space that he's cleared with a sigh. Still tense in here. She can feel it. Ugh.]

Kinda hard to find dry wood after all that rain, but this should last us a while.

[flamekthunder]

[It's only when he feels a stray cold breeze brush against his ears does he realize too late he should have given her his cloak before she headed out, but...that would have been awkward given just now wouldn't it? And now that she's gone, he can really feel the emptiness. That cold sense of loneliness that he had grown numb to for most of his life. He's used to it, even prefers his solitude over the crowds, but this is different. This isn't just the physical sense—it's an emotional one as well.

One he had iced out to protect himself and now reminded of how it feels again. Only this time, he had brought it on himself.]

...Dammit.

[A silent swear as he runs a hand over his face and through his hair before it ends with a frustrated sigh. Even he realizes what he's doing is poorly timed, especially after she opened herself up to him. But he could feel it. Could feel himself getting drawn too close than should be allowed. A warmth that he had started to get too comfortable with without realizing it until it was too late. And his instinctive reaction was to coldly push her away and distance himself...

It's true what everyone says, he really is an ass.

So with that darkened mood, Eustace turns his attention to what needs to be done. He picks a spot as far back into the cave as possible, clearing off the moss and mushrooms so that a stray spark won't fall on them. He even sets aside the mushrooms that seem edible, either for them or to bring back. He also has his usual small supply of rations he carries with him, but...he knows he has no appetite and he's not sure if tifa will either. The moss itself can be used as kindling, though given that they both can use elemental magic, starting a fire won't be difficult. The floor clear, he gathers some rocks within and just outside the cave to contain the fire.

With the additional time, he looks around to see what else they could use. They'll have to sleep on the floor so...hm. Taking off his holster and pouches, he sets them aside before undoing his cloak to set it aside as well. Although the cold air hits his exposed skin, he actually appreciates it, needing that bit of shock to awaken his senses. It's not even that cold for him, but it may be different for Tifa, so already having his cloak set aside for her will...make things easier.

So when Tifa returns, Eustace will be sitting on the floor with his knife out, cutting through the moss. All in all, it looks like a proper, if impromptu, campsite. He doesn't even look up when he hears her, though his eyes do rise up slightly when she tosses the questionably small amount of wood.

...No, he can't really blame her. She likely spent a lot of time clearing her thoughts like he's had to.]

It's fine, what you've found is enough. I can cut through it and get to the dry wood. The moss here will work as additional kindling as well.

[His voice carries its usual quiet and steady cadence as he sets down his knife and crouches forward to inspect and sort through the wood, picking the pieces that could be used right away before setting aside the ones best saved to feed into later. Once it's arranged, he just casts a small fire spell and soon it ignites into a decent flame, the scent of burning wood and moss slowly rising before drifting out the cave opening.

After that... ...There's a short pause before he continues.]

...It's not much, but I do have some food if you're hungry...and you can use my cloak if you're cold.

[He doesn't quite look directly at her, knowing that him making these offers may seem like just small gestures—offers that he half expects her to reject. He feels he should also apologize, but what would he really be apologizing for? Other than seemingly brushing her off earlier.

...

He really has no idea what to do or think right now. Maybe he should just stop and focus on getting through the night.]

[starshower]

[He isn't wrong about his offers. Tifa simply looks to his cloak with a small hum, but it carries no coldness in it. It's appreciative, if the tiny smile that tugs at her lips isn't enough to show, but the thought of wrapping herself up in him—no, his cloak—feels like a bit much at the moment, after that intense exchange earlier. With the way her stomach is turning and fluttering, the thought of food isn't very appealing either, so she simply allows her feet to carry her idly to the ground near the fire, where she takes a seat on the mossy stone floor.]

I'm good. Thanks.

[She says it finally while her legs curl up against her chest. Her hand comes out so that it's just barely touching the small flames, and she adds her own touch of magic to it as well, and they roar a little higher. For a while, she says nothing else, only watching the flames grow and grow until they're almost a full-fledged fire, her thoughts running a hundred yalms a minute.

There's a stretch of silence where she only watches the fire grow, soaking in what little warmth it gives in the cold cave. She almost has half a mind to shuffle closer to Eustace—only to seek his warmth, nothing else—but there are those thoughts, those doubts again that only stop her. One of them is going to have to break the ice eventually, if they're going to be stuck here, or else they're both going to be in for a long, awkward night.

... ]

You think the horse got away okay?

[It's not much of a conversation starter, but it's something. As long as it isn't about what happened, then they should be fine, right?

Through the corners of her eyes, and through the hair that drapes over her face, she looks over at him to gauge his reaction.]

[flamekthunder]

[As he thought, she declined his offers... Although it seems she still appreciated it, there's still a twinge of guilt and disappointment. Which is stupid of him to feel right now since he brought it on himself, so Eustace just slowly releases the breath he had been unknowingly holding and lets the silence engulf them. Usually he would have preferred it, but now it's just so...awkward. Uncomfortable. The space between them feeling bigger and colder than it really is.

Several times his thoughts circle back to how he should say something, but no words come to him. Just as he's about to get restless enough to get up and walk outside to try and clear his head, Tifa breaks the sllence. He glances at her, his expression unreadable but calm despite the internal conflicts before he looks back away to toss some small dried wood into the fire.]

He'll be fine. He's likely forgotten about us and found his way back to the stable before remembering he ditched us.

[Very small and half-hearted attempt to make something light of their situation. Well, not that it would matter if the horse returned or not. He's walked through these woods plenty and has ways to get them back so he could lead her out. It would just take longer.]

[starshower]

[There's a laugh, low and huffy in the back of her throat. Somewhat genuine, grateful again of his attempt to ease some of the tension, but it not doing so much in the end. Perhaps that's her fault for not allowing it to, because her shoulders hunch up and she hugs her knees closer to herself while silence passes over them for what feels like the hundredth time today.

She can feel the cold air wandering in through the entrance of the cave, a blast of wind raising goosebumps all over her skin and blowing on the fire, threatening to put it out. A low rumble comes from overhead, and she looks up to the roof, where the glowing mushrooms hang, ignorant to what's going on. They have it so easy...]

Think there's a storm outside?

[If only they could find a way to block the entrance somehow. If the fire goes out in the middle of the night while they're trying to sleep, then that might pose a problem for them in the morning...]

[flamekthunder]

[Hearing the rumble and feeling the cold air seeping further in, Eustace frowns a little as he gazes out towards the entrance before glancing over at Tifa. He could handle whatever temperature drop, but this weather has been so unpredictable...

He stands, reaching for his holster before quickly buckling it around his hips.]

Not yet, but with the weather as it is it's difficult to say if one will pass over briefly or last the night. Wait here—I'll gather some more wood and see what else I can find.

[And before she can protest he'll have stepped away to head out, pointedly leaving behind is cloak instead of putting it on before leaving.]

[starshower]

But I just...

[A glance over her shoulder will show her that he's already on his way out, his tall silhouette vanishing into the green fog and leaving her there with the fire. It flickers when another breeze blows in, and the cave floor shakes when there's another low roar of thunder. She hopes he hasn't wandered too far, especially considering she did just grab some wood herself. Though, he may be right—it's probably better that they have as much on possible set aside in case it gets worst.

So, she waits in silence for him to return, listening as rain starts to patter against the rocks outside.

Her gaze moves to his cloak, and with one more glance out to the mouth of the cave, she reaches over and pulls it towards her... and by the time he returns, she'll have it wrapped over her shoulders.]

[flamekthunder]

[Even if before he had wanted to step outside to clear his head, with the incoming storm he's now purely focused in securing their impromptu campsite. Now outside, he can take a proper look at the cave Tifa had found, the glowing mushrooms helping to illuminate things. Although it's not too deep, they should remain dry from any rain that could potentially be swept in from the winds. However it's not so deep that it kept out the wind completely.

Hearing another low rumble and seeing the not-so-distant flash of lightning, Eustace weighs his options before heading further out, first to gather potential firewood and stack them inside before gathering larger branches. Using his wind magic, he aims up and cuts loose some of the long ivy hanging higher up against the stone wall. They fall like a long curtain, and while it doesn't completely cover the entrance it does help obscure it. Using the larger branches, he uses them as weights to tie them down while creating more obscurity. Again, it's not a complete shield, but it will also double as an "alarm" for anything large enough to push or break the branches.

By the time he returns with the additional wood, the rain had poured down and he's completely soaked through.]

[starshower]

[Tifa only listens to his movements—the rustling of the vines and wood as he starts to set it all down around the entrance of the cave, giving them some extra shelter against the wind and rain that might come in. She wonders, a few times, if she should go out there and help him, but it's maybe for the best that she gives him a bit of space. Neither of them seems to be feeling particularly talkative anyway.

But when he returns, the first thing Tifa notices is how his hair is matted down from the rain, and he's dripping from head to toe, and despite all of the awkwardness from before, she leaps to her feet and rushes to him.]

Pretty bad, huh?

[She tugs his cloak off from around her shoulders to wrap around his as best as she can, even if he does try to protest before stepping back away from him.]

Let's get you dried up, okay?

[Things might be difficult for them to navigate right now, but that doesn't mean she's going to let him freeze.]

[flamekthunder]

[He really shouldn't feel a little satisfied or pleased that she ended up wearing his cloak, but for a brief moment he does before she rushes to him to put it on him instead. His brows furrow slightly into a troubled expression, and for a very real moment he's about protest and make her wear it again instead before it got too wet. But his partly opened lips close as he doesn't feel like starting an argument with her and instead opts to be obedient this time.]

...There's a small towel in the right pouch over there. [He nods his head towards where he had left his bags before he starts walking closer to the fire, dropping the wood off to the smaller pile.

He then begins to remove his gun holster and gloves, setting them off to the side to dry before sitting down.]

[starshower]

You came prepared for anything, didn't you...?

[Is she even surprised? Not at all.

It's another attempt at lessening the awkward strain she still feels, although the laugh feels as unnatural as everything else about this conversation. It's a good thing she can turn and walk away to his bags where she digs through for a towel.

Still, she takes a seat so that she's sitting directly in front of him rather than beside, and drops the towel over his head with a small, crooked smile.]

Here. I might be able to help.

[Eustace will feel a small wave of warm air coming from around her hands, and it grows hot as she brings it up to the cloak around his shoulders where it starts to dry off. It's the least she can do, after everything that happened...]

[flamekthunder]

You could say it's a habit born from necessity.

[They could still cut the awkward tension between them like a knife, but it's at least a little better from before. He continues to remain obedient, sitting still and looking at her briefly when she sits in front of him. He's not so surprised when she drops the towel on his head, but he is when he feels her use her magic to create the warm air to try and dry him off.

...]

...Thanks.

[Just a quiet murmur as he ducks his head slightly, once again feeling he needs to do something or...apologize. Yet he still gets hung up on that, unable to form the proper words or figuring out what he would really be apologizing for.

Because it might be more than just creating the awkwardness between them right now.]

[starshower]

Yeah.

[It's not a problem and it's the least she can do, Tifa meant to say, but his quiet muttering isn't making her feel any better about the situation, so she keeps it short and simple, silent as she allows her magic to do its work in drying him off, only allowing the tiniest of smiles to surface when it blows his hair this way and that.

But it's when she catches a glimpse of his right eye that it fades, and she remembers what had happened to it at the club, and before that, the young boy she saw in the mirrors. Remembering how it looked when he'd been so peaceful in his sleep, and how the hair draped back over his forehead, leaving him so vulnerable. It had felt different that time...

She's careful not to let the air get too hot around her hands, even more so when she combs the hair back into place over his eye, letting the heat dry it rather than the air.

Her lips part, like she wants to say something, but only a sigh comes out before she continues to dry him off in silence. She'd wanted to ask if he was okay, if it was too hot or not hot enough, if he was feeling dry enough to get some rest, and that she would take first watch... but fussing over him at all feels like a bit much. Like it's suddenly not her place to. She's fret over him enough in the past, forcing soup on him and Gran, visiting to make sure that his arm had healed alright, making him accept that makeshift eyepatch or the date...

She cares about him, more than she's realized, but maybe it's time to back off. Give him some space.

He always was more a lone wolf anyway, right?

Eventually, she lets her hands fall and the magic fade, her fingers a little tired from spending so much of it.]

You good?

[flamekthunder]

[His eyes close as she works, finding the feeling of both the warm air and her touch...pleasant. It lulls him into a weird, relaxed state, his guard slowly lowering. He's even tempted to lean a little more forward when her fingers through his hair. And when she brushes over his right away, he stiffens for a moment but then relaxes a moment after, eyes still closed.

If he opens them now, his expression might betray his true thoughts.


However it will be his hand that does so instead, immediately reaching out to take hers before it falls too far away from him. It was such an impulsive action that he's also caught by surprise by it, slightly widened eyes staring at their hands. But then his expression shifts as if momentarily lost in thought before he adjusts his grip so his fingertips slide against her palm, the force clear that he's trying to keep her but not so tight that she couldn't pull away if she didn't want to.

Truthfully he should let her go—hell he shouldn't have grabbed her to begin with. But now that he has... His eyes finally rise up to meet hers and there's slight hardness in his gaze, so focused as if he's studying her every movement and try to read whatever her own reactions and expressions will be when he finally answers her question.]

...No.

[His grip on her hand tightens a fraction, an indescribable emotion simmering along with a strange heat that should not be there.]

I'm not.



[Like her, he had recalled all those times she's been with him, from the moment they first met in that strange bar in Celliwig, even back when they got dragged into that stupid margarita drinking contest and how they ended up falling asleep on that hay. How he had to drag her away from the mirrors; the unnecessary concern and attention she gave him when he was injured; the random movie that led her exposed to the crazy woman and how Tifa had been adamant on helping; the constant skinship they've ended up unintentionally shared—and how that's all led to him becoming more than just physically attracted to her.

If it had just been physical it would have been easier to deal with and ignore, but somehow this woman had decided to wedge herself into his life. And while she certainly isn't the first nor the last, she is the first one to make him pay actual notice to it. If anyone were to ask him why, he wouldn't be able to say. It's why he's been constantly questioning and trying to ignore it, to not put any meaning to the growing tension and attracting between them.

Then again, isn't that how it is? Sometimes there are no reasons, things just click and it just happens.

It's just not something he ever expected to happen to himself.

...And it's not something he wanted, not in this place, at least.

Yet it did, and Eustace has been oscillating between going with it and drawing back. Every time he gets close, an unknown need to retract forms and he pulls back. But then he ends up unknowingly wanting to close that distance again and the gap between them narrows further before needing to pull back again. The time she had shied away from him had been the first time he had felt so irritated by it, and even though he should have taken advantage of the distance that had started to form again now—one that he had initiated—once again he ends up trying to close it again by taking her hand and stopping her from pulling away from him.

His logic says they should maintain a respectable distance, yet a hidden part of him rebels and pushes back towards her again. He's always been able to deal and do things he doesn't like, yet this time he can't seem to allow himself to.

He doesn't like the idea of potentially hurting Tifa by getting too close with her.

But he doesn't like it when they're apart even more.

A selfish greed he can't seem to control, something he's never felt for himself before.

And he's not sure how to handle it.

So no, right now he really isn't "good."]

[starshower]

[His hand gripping hers is jarring. Tifa freezes, afraid in those initial moments that she'd done something wrong, or hurt him in some way with her magic, but... the look she sees in his eyes betrays all of that. The way his fingers graze against the palm of her hand, calloused and warm, spins another tale. What kind? She isn't sure or doesn't want to acknowledge that maybe she does know what it means. It had been a silly question in the first place—neither of them is "good" and Tifa was never blind to it but forming a string of words that wouldn't just make things worse between them proved difficult.

She stares at their hands, lips parted and eyes round with surprise. She's not sure what to say or do at this point, or how to feel besides shocked, and terrified. Not of him, but what this could mean, and that fear paralyzes her. No matter how much she wants to let her gaze click back to his so she can read his expression, she can't. She can still feel it bearing into her, striking her right down to her soul and knocking the air out of her lungs.

This feeling, this closeness—it's something she'd been searching for. It's something she'd wanted to reach out for, to pull her out of this pitch-black loneliness that's crippled her since she got to Camelot. It's that same loneliness that struck her in her early days in Midgar when she knew no one and struggled to get herself back on her feet. Now that she has it, it feels like too much, and she wants nothing more than to draw back and keep away.

This is so far from what she imagined it would be like when she finally did find it, and not at all with Eustace. Yet, here she is, still afraid but... drawn in too, wondering what it might be like to let herself go to that selfish desire of pushing that loneliness away.

But then it's there again: that fear that if she does, it will all go away in an instant, turning to dust between her fingers. So, why him? Why should she be so afraid of him leaving? Whatever this is, it's just as fleeting as the world itself—or so she'll make herself believe—and her stay in it. It's not a permanent fixture and yet, the thought of him disappearing because of her fills her chest with a sad heaviness that forces a breath out of her at last.]

Eustace...?

[The silence had stretched on for what felt like forever, and her voice feels so much louder than it actually is. It's as if it bounces off the cave walls and echoes through it, but in reality, it had been nothing more than a whisper.

No, she knows why she fears him leaving. She'd thought about it the whole way into the cave, while she cradled his tiny form in her arms. The tiny form that came because he had saved her once again and made her realize that maybe she's been looking in the wrong place this whole time.

It's that awareness that has her finally trying to tug her hand away from his...]

[flamekthunder]

[He should let her go, but instead his grip tightens as Eustace continues to stare at her. He can see her reactions, how she's trying to comprehend his actions and their meaning. Even he doesn't fully understand it, but he at least knows one thing: they can't keep running and hiding from each other like this. Maybe they will end up deciding it's better to not go any further, maybe this is ultimately a mistake, but...]

Trying to avoid me again?

[His voice is quiet, and while his gaze still has that unusual heat of something, his tone is a little softer so it sounds more like he's teasing her a little, referencing to what happened earlier after their little "date." Of course he knows he's also to blame for this so his expression sombers a little as he murmurs his next few words, just loud enough for her to hear.]

...Maybe it would be better if we did.

[He then looks at her again, the words that had been on his mind finally spilling out.]

I keep thinking it would be better if we kept some distance, that it would be better so that you wouldn't get hurt.

[Slowly his other hand reaches out to lightly touch her face, the slight waver of hesitation mirroring the hesitation he still feels right now. She's already cried so much for someone else, he doesn't want her to cry over him, too. And yet...]

...But no matter what I do, I can't seem to do that.

[He pulls her to him then, that light touch on her face now a firmly cupping her cheek as he stares down at her, his eyes a torrent of mixed emotions of want and fear, both wanting to keep her to him like this yet fearing what would come of it. Yet this same wavering is what's hurt her enough already. That what he's doing...isn't it no different than what Cloud did? He doesn't want to necessarily stay away from her completely, but this ambiguity, this uncertainty—it needs to end.

But which way will it end?

He can't seem to leave her alone.

From that tender touch around one of his most vulnerable weaknesses to the sound of her voice saying his name...he can't seem to let it go.

His face now near hers, he can only admit his current flux of emotions through a coarse whisper.]

It's driving me crazy...

[starshower]

[It's startling, having him so close, for any number of reasons. From here, he'll see the leftover streaks from her tears still staining her cheeks, and the redness that's already started to surface in them—or it's always been there and never really left. He might spot the shimmer of new tears starting to form when it all starts to overwhelm her again, or the glimmer of his eyes in the reflection of her own, where he might as well be staring right into her soul.

Because that's sure as hell what this feels like.

He's right. She'd been too scared to face him and had decided then to withdraw once again. She'd wanted to go back to her safe space, where taking leaps and risks was not an option. It was a place where she would be safe from the harm and hurt a world like this could bring, and from the world and life she missed so much back home, but pushing him away still ached just as much as him pulling her in. Just as much as wanting to be pulled in.

Tifa falls easily into place when he does, his hand slotting almost too well against her cheek, and her forehead to his. She wants nothing more than to slide away from him, and put that much-needed distance between them, but there's another force keeping her rooted there. Loneliness, and maybe a little bit of greed—it all has her lifting her hands to grab the sides of his face, and when she speaks, it's with a shuddering breath against his lips.]

Yeah. Me too...

[She can't lie to him. Not now.

Her skin is burning hot, her heart is beating a thousand times a minute, ready to break free from her chest, and her head is spinning at the thought of it. It's hard to pinpoint the exact moment when it all started to make her feel this way. Perhaps it was the first time they'd met, and he'd told her about his home. Or maybe it was when he slipped that rose into her hair, or left that kiss on her forehead when he'd tucked her in. Or when she woke up with him next to her, the first beams of morning sun lighting up his face when it peered through the curtains...

Whatever or whenever it was, it's all led up to now, and she would be lying to have said it wasn't driving her crazy, either.]

I don't want that...

[That distance.

She loses herself in the moment, whatever words she'd formed leaving her along with the air in her lungs, and without thinking, she tips her head just so, bringing her lips to his in a tentative, testing feather-light touch...]

[flamekthunder]

[This is all so crazy, and acting reckless and selfish is something he never does. He's always been cautious, wary, plan out every possibility to deal with the worst case scenario. Yet from the moment he feels her breath against his lips all of that is thrown out the window and instead just one thing remains on his mind. It takes every last bit of restraint to not act on it—until her lips touch his. It might have been a light, hesitant brush, but it was like the flame that ignited the already short fuse.

Not even a moment's breath passed before his lips take hers more firmly, roughly, his hand at her cheek now against the back of her head as he pulls her in closer. Even if there's some relief in finally acting out on this unfamiliar impulse of desire, his body is tense, still wound tight like a spring. He wants to hold back yet take more at the same time. Treat her gently yet end up rushing as instinct takes over, acting without any thought.

This growing heat, this sense of desperation and loss of control can be felt as each second passes. Should she try to part even just to catch her breath, he will be quick to capture her again, unable to feel satisfied.]

[starshower]

[She'd been hesitant, each and every one of her motions thorough and carefully thought out, afraid of pushing herself any further over the edge than she already has, but the moment their lips meet more firmly, his hand brushing through her hair to pull her in closer, she's lost.

Tifa has never kissed anyone before, but there's something so natural about this. The way her hands slide across his face so her fingers can comb through his hair, or how their noses brush against each other when she pulls away to catch her breath before he's capturing her again in another, or how her body fits comfortably against his when she allows herself to be pulled in...

Is this what it feels like to be so consumed by another person? She's forgotten where they are, what they were doing, why they were here... the only thing mattering right now is sating that deep-rooted desire that's been tearing at them for ages and breaching any amount of space left between them and keeping it that way.

Is it normal to feel overwhelmed by it all? The release of all of those feelings that had been wound up in her chest for so long, and the relief of being able to finally let it all go... to be able to pour it all into him without even having to speak a word... It's too much. So much that she can feel tears burning the corners of her eyes, and she fights them tooth and nail to keep them back.

It's a vain battle and they come anyway, hot against both their cheeks, so she separates from him, red lips parting as she tries to breathe what little air there is between them.]

Eustace, I...

[She isn't even sure what she wants to say, but she's withdrawing again, suddenly feeling shy about it. About all of this. Her forehead bumps against his, and she lets her hands slide down the sides of his face so they can support her on his shoulders instead.]

I've never...

[flamekthunder]

It's fine.

[His answer is immediate, a low whisper against her lips as his eyes open just enough so he can see her. The hand behind her head remains, fingers now threading through the long, black strands as the other wraps around her waist, not allowing her to pull back any farther than this.

He then moves so that his lips brush against her tears before lightly kissing the tops of her eyes.]

...It's the same for me.

[Perhaps it's surprising, perhaps not given his character, but Eustace has never had any interest in sharing any kind of intimate physical relationship with anyone. Hell has he even hugged anyone? Maybe a child if they needed comforting but not an adult.

For over twenty years his heart had no need, no desire, no room, for any of it. It was shut off from such feelings for so long that while he understood and was aware of such things, he personally could not really relate. It's only been recently that he's been able to feel anything more than hatred and deep rooted revenge, more than isolation and the need to stay alone. To focus solely on his mission. But now he can smile more freely, be more like his true self that's been frozen for so long. But it's still new for him to, discovering parts of himself he never realized.

And while there are a few key figures that helped chip away certain parts of him and helped thaw his once bitter heart, Tifa...

His face lowers so he can look into her red eyes, already drawn in by the emotions reflected through them. He tries to restrain himself, wanting to be gentle and considerate of her own feelings, but the temptation is too great and he lightly kisses her again before murmuring against her mouth, his words, low, deep murmur that carries the weight of his emotions and desires.]

...You're the first one who's ever made me feel this way.

[First one to make him feel such a burning desire to want more, to experience this strange thirst for another person. It's not even so much the physical pleasure of it, although it certainly plays a significant part. There's that deeper connection between them, that want to be near her just because he feels comfortable. A feeling that he misses whenever she's avoiding him. He's fine when they're separated, he's not that desperate or clingy, but if she runs away from him then it's a different matter entirely. It's hard for him to really explain, but it's something he hasn't quite felt with the others. He can be close to them, share some of his secrets with them and be comfortable as well, but with Tifa... There's a desire for more.

It's a selfish feeling, a greedy feeling.

One that continues to grow the more she lets him take.]

[starshower]

[And take it he may. She isn't innocent either, her eyes so engrossed on his lips that she feels that frantic urge rising with each word he breathes against hers.

It's a bit surprising that this would be his first. He'd taken charge of the situation so quickly, so naturally that she wouldn't have guessed if he hadn't said so. Perhaps it was the same for him—that some things just come more easily than others. He's so sure of himself, so confident in the way he wraps his hands around her waist, or brushes them through her hair, while Tifa is still so shy and nervous.

But then he says it—that she's the first who's ever made him feel this way—and it once again cracks that small bit of self-restraint she's been clinging onto. He hardly gets the chance to finish it before she's kissing him again, hands searching for more closeness before they settle behind his head, fingers curling against the back of his ears.

She only breaks free far enough to whisper back.]

You've been there, since day one...

[As if she needs to justify all of this. She doesn't, but she still needs to say it again. She needs him to know that this isn't something born out of her desire for someone else or for companionship to sate that innate loneliness of hers. Cloud means something to her—he always has and that will never, ever change—but Eustace means something else entirely. When no one else was there, he was. When she was in trouble or when she felt down, or when she wanted to spend time with someone, who was there? Eustace was. When she'd been in trouble, who was there? Or when Clover had needed that extra bit of companionship and help? He'd stayed.

He was the one who wiped those tears and didn't run away when she'd let her emotions boil and spill over.

He's someone she can trust with all of her being and even then, it's rooted itself so much deeper than that. So deep that not even she can fully come to understand.]

You made me feel... safe...

[Special. Like she means something to someone that isn't just a superficial friendship. Like she means something to him, the same way he does to her. It's hard enough putting this all into words on a normal day, but with her brain so scrambled, she can only hope that he understands what she means through words and her actions.]

Thank you...

[She kisses him again, still gentle, still a little hesitant and tearful, but her lips part ever so slightly in an invitation. A beckon for him to take.]