isleofavalon | LATE AF SEPT CATCHALL

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LATE AF SEPT CATCHALL

🧙 WHO: Kadoc and a bunch of people, including perhaps your character?!
⚔️️ WHAT: There sure is a lot of dumb shit happening in the month of September. Both OPEN and CLOSED prompts, the latter in the comments!
🕒 WHEN: IT'S—the month of September. (More specifically, the span from the beginning of the month to the first part of the event, ending before any dragon problems!)
🗺️ WHERE: Here there and everywhere, including Celliwig, ~the club~, straight up prison, and other assorted places around Camelot.
⚠️ WARNINGS: Eventual branding/tattoo/pain stuff, the subsequent servitude that comes along with that prompt, language, sexual themes in ~the club~, likely violence/actiony antics in the jailbreak, animal capture and implied slaughter for food in the event prompt, and I'll add anything else!

1. Kadoc the Stubborn Husky (early Sept., OPEN, thanks a lot Claude)

[Kadoc needs a second opinion. Maybe even a third, fourth, and further opinions. Claude is a lovable scamp and all, but Kadoc is a paranoid bastard, and he can't quite convince himself that he's not being had with the whole—howling thing. He sounds fine to his own ears! He's probably not an Animal Mage, although boy would this be a typically embarrassing way for that to make itself known if he were!

He needs confirmation, but after how that went with Claude, he can't quite bring himself to walk up to anyone and just start talking. What if he really is making dog noises?! So, instead, he's gathering his courage to approach people he recognizes as offworlders and . . . hold up his tablet, on which he has a Notes file open, with this typed in a large, visible font:]

I NEED YOUR HELP. NOTHING DANGEROUS.

[ . . . This could have been ~~an email~~ a network post, but he's not exactly on his game right now. Who can blame him?]

2. Jailhouse Rock (early Sept., CLOSED to Kate, Jailbreak quest)
Here!

3. Amanita Bigger Basket (early Sept., CLOSED to Ritsuka, Celliwig's month of magical mushes)
Here!

4. Super Smash Bros Part 2: The Revenge of the Smash (mid Sept., CLOSED to Itaru, The Pain-Tolerant Badass)
Here!

5. Your Obedient Servant (mid Sept., CLOSED to Rinea, The Caring Badass)
Here!

6. Lukewarm Knights (mid Sept., CLOSED to Gareth and Ritsuka, Hot Knights quest)
Here!

7. Jailbreak Part 2: The Great Goosening (late Sept., OPEN, the cute part of the event)

[Kadoc has had, to say the least, an unlucky month—but here finally there's a break, or at least a small pleasure. He's already spent plenty of time out in the wilderness gathering mushrooms this month and was debating whether to bother going on an end-of-month hunt, only for the hunt to come to him for once. A chance to grab a pre-fattened goose for their table to go with all those mushrooms? Don't mind if he does!

The geese have other ideas, of course. By now, Kadoc's managed to humanely return several of them to the farm; his Light magic helps there. It's no big deal to snap them up in cages of hard light and then carry those back to where they belong. But geese are smart. Geese are watching him. And when he finally snaps up the fattest of the geese he can find to take home for himself, shutting it up in another light cage and hefting it under his arm, that's when they make their move.

Catch Kadoc racing down the streets of Camelot, vaguely in the direction of his home, but mostly just in any direction that's away from the ten furious honking geese in hot pursuit of him. He's only barely watching where he's going. Watch out, or you could get swept up in this disaster and end up a feather pillow yourself!

Or save him. Someone, please save him from this entire month.]

(( Check out my plotting meme post here if you're interested in setting anything else up with Kadoc this month outside of the upcoming event; I'm happy to oblige! Also if I forgot to get one up hmu. It was a lot lol ))

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[Well, he'd been warned she didn't know anything about mushroom hunting. He snorts when she compares them to morning glories, and he's not even that unkind about it. As they trudge closer to the forest's edge, he digs out his own thermos of coffee from his pack and unscrews the lid. Precious lifeblood.]

They don't close up. It's just a beating the crowd thing. And if there doesn't end up being a crowd, we'll have all day to wait for more to pop up as the ground warms up and snipe those too. But I'm guessing we'll run into Celliwig natives out here, if no one else.

Do they really grow that fast?

[ That's kind of cool, actually? She'd helped out with the little greenhouse that Roman had kept, during that first year, but everything there had taken time and patience and care, and even with that, the strawberries had always been tiny...

Never mind that it's all buried under ice right now. Oof. ]

But if we're gonna be out here all day, I brought snacks.

[ Only one of them is impractical. Give the girl a prize. ]

[Now's not a great time to think about Chaldea being frozen solid, considering. Oof,

Luckily Kadoc's not the one doing that, or a spiral would definitely happen right about now. He's thinking about mushrooms, which is a pleasant thought, so he's almost smiling as they come up to the bases of the first trees on the forest's edge.]

Heh. So you're not living on handouts anymore? Or maybe they were handouts. Anyway, I brought rations. If we had to stay out here all night, we'd be fine with what I've got. Not that I'll say no to whatever you have . . . probably.

[He might, if it's something really weird, but that's unlikely. Probably. Who knows? What are the regional exotic chip flavors in Camelot anyway?]

Or we could stay the night in Celliwig, since we've gotta head into town eventually anyway. The food there's way beyond the weirdness of anything you possibly could've brought.

[ David Attenborough voice: Observe the wild Zemlupus in his semi-natural habitat and see how he acts in his own element.

She doesn't say this aloud, even in an aside, but it makes her smile to think about it, out of his immediate line of sight. In some ways, it really isn't unlike trying to approach and befriend a wild animal. He's less likely and has less potential to severely injure or kill her here, but she's not about to think that he's completely helpless, either. He'd survived the Lostbelt Russia, and even with Anastasia's help and protection, Ritsuka knows very well what life in that place had been like. ]

Some of them were handouts, sure. Turns out, grannies are the same no matter where you go.

[ And if you look kind of underfed and happen to be roughly the same age as an aforementioned granny's grandchildren, it's actually easier to get food foisted on you than to avoid it. ]

But nah, I've picked up some odd jobs here and there. I've got one of those bird eggs from last month, but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with it... I don't actually need the coat thing they were advertising. --What's this Celliwig place even like? I have a hard time imagining it's worse than some of the places I've seen.

[ She's not even talking about her travels with Chaldea. Even when you grow up with it, there are some street foods that have given her definite pause. ]

It's—wait, wait. You got one of the eggs? You didn't turn it in for the coat?!

[Hold up, all else is on hold for that. He'd wanted that coat so badly! He hadn't had the time or wherewithal to go hunting those eggs, and hadn't known in time that the reward would be so enticing, but Kadoc's been building up a small collection of survivalist-type gear and potions for a few months now, and! And! That coat! She just has one of the eggs?! He's visibly aghast!]

Dammit, I'll pay you for the coat! Go turn it in as soon as we're back in the city. I've got money!

Wh-- is it that big a deal?!

[ Is it a secret gold item?! Considering the trouble it had been to get one, she's not surprised, but the vehemence of his response does startle her. ]

Nothing else about this mystic code works except for dealing with the elements, so what was I supposed to do with it... you can just have it, if you want it that much?

[ Kadoc... would probably be a Caster, wouldn't he? He doesn't quite have the certain sort of intensity that she associates with Avengers. It's the sort of dumb passing thought that goes through Ritsuka's mind. Okay, he's a Caster who's going to need these eggs for skills or something, cool. ]

It's a big deal! I don't have a mystic code like that just on me here. Yeah, I do want it that much. Like I said, go exchange it when we get back, and I'll pay you. I'll set aside some mushroom funds for it. It's more than worth it.

[He is not going to just take the egg! The thought doesn't even occur to him, even after she says it flat out. No! Good lord, he can't believe she just held onto the thing . . . is this what farming for materials means?]

I just said I'd give it to you??

[ Kadoc, please. She's using her words and everything. ]

Call it--I dunno, call it a thanks for that lunch last month, if you're so worried about paying it back. But I'd rather it get used for something, because it's otherwise just kind of taking up space in my room...

[ Eventually, hopefully, she'll break the farming habit. She doesn't have a storeroom here! At least the wool she's been selling (almost) immediately for cash, but that also starts taking up a lot of space after a while. ]

Come on. You've got a chance to make a profit here, so take it. Weren't you the one complaining about how broke you were not too long ago?

[He makes a face at her, more than a bit childishly. It's petty and he knows it; sometimes even Kadoc doesn't know why he's arguing. But it's easy. It's a safe way to interact with her: they can bicker and he doesn't have to think too deeply on any other feelings, and it can be about something stupid so he also doesn't have to think too deeply on all the real reasons they have to be at odds. Win-win! For him, anyway.

He does lead her into the forest with a jerk of his head, though. The mushrooms are already sprouting up around the bases of the bigger trees just a few paces into the thicker woods.]

[ She makes faces right back at him. He started it! If he wants to act childish, she has no qualms in matching him tit for tat. Honestly, it's preferable to how she remembers him from home--the way he'd carried himself, like he was cringing even as he was standing still, defensive even in defiance. ]

I've been shearing a lot of sheep this month. I'm planning on hitting up some more. That reward's not anything to sneeze at, you know?

[ So many sheep. She's a little surprised there aren't still tufts of wool clinging to her clothes. She does follow without hesitation at least; even if they are fighting like kids, she doesn't really think he's leading her anywhere dangerous. ]

Anyway, I don't need it, and I don't need the prize you get for trading it in, and you do. Therefore, you should just take the egg, or I'm gonna chuck it at the back of your head when we get back to Camelot.

Edited 2021-09-24 03:25 (UTC)

[He kneels at the base of a large tree ringed with a few big fat mushrooms. Nice. They could actually get a good haul out of this. Once he's settled on one knee, he beckons her closer, though he does also roll his eyes up at her, which is what she deserves for that threat.]

Fuck's sake. Fine! Fine. I know when I'm not gonna sway someone. So consider this crash course in mushroom gathering my payment for that egg. I'll take it when we're back in town.

[He thinks, but isn't going to tell her, that he'll also pick up the bill for a hotel room for her if they end up staying in Celliwig—he expected to have to anyway, though. She was flat broke not long ago! She's really working those sheep! Anyway, he digs out his pocket knife, which is a pretty nice model.]

Take a look at this one.

Edited 2021-09-25 06:04 (UTC)

Fine.

[ Ritsuka sticks her tongue out in brief response, then moves to crouch down next to him. That... looks like a mushroom, all right. It doesn't appear to be anything different from the varieties she's seen in grocery stores back in Japan: more dirt-covered, less plastic-packaged, but still. A mushroom!

It has not occurred to her that they might have to spend the night in Celliwig. In her head, the vague plan was to drag themselves back to Camelot by nightfall, and he can go home and she can maybe find some nice soft ground to sleep on, because Ritsuka's great skill is her ability to sleep anywhere. And he's not wrong to think she doesn't have the money for a real hotel or anything like that. ]

So... that's one of the edible ones, right?

[He sees that, Ritsuka! Kadoc rolls his eyes again, though deep down, he has to admit it's kind of stupidly funny for the two of them to have ended up like this after . . . everything. All that. They'd tried to kill one another, or rather, he'd tried to kill her, and she'd refused to have any part of either dying or trying to kill him in turn. And now?

Now there's this mushroom, which he holds up for her to see after he cuts the stem.]

This one is, yeah. Cut them off just like this instead of yanking them outta the ground. If you don't have a knife, I can lend you one. . . . I've got an app on my phone to help identify them too, so we can use that, but it's never a good idea to rely just on that. Making a mistake could be fatal. I assume you know that much.

[He puts the mushroom in his basket and goes to dig his phone out. The modern dude's mushroom field guide, Avalon Edition!]

[ It's true; Ritsuka is very bad at participating in activities that involve dying or killing the other person.

She is, however, very invested in food and aware that she is not the best at it. Most of what she's capable of are immediately rice-related, where the mushrooms have already come neatly packaged for her to use. She folds her arms on her knees, leaning forward to get a better look. ]

I've got a knife... I haven't had the chance to get a better one.

[ Read: it's a pretty dinky little pocket knife sort of thing, already banged up and battered from hard use, a month and some change in. ]

Anyway, trust me, I'm not interested in poisoning myself or anyone. Did it once, didn't like it much.

[He actually laughs at that, loud and surprised. Just a short bark, and he holds his hand to his mouth after automatically, as if he just expelled some magical spirit that was living in his body without him being aware of it. (That's later this month, though.) It's a stupid joke, but humor lies in the unexpected.]

—Damn. You've got a darker sense of humor than I thought you did. But yeah, fair enough. I'm not interested in having your blood on my hands . . . you know, anymore.

[How's that for a dark joke? How will she take it? In the meantime, he hands over his pocket knife and pulls out his own hunting knife. It's overkill for the mushroom cutting task, but eh, it's what he's got other than what he just gave her. They can work on this patch around this tree, which are all the same type of mushroom. A tutorial mode. He offers her his phone, too, with the relevant page of the field guide app open.]

It wouldn't be nearly as dramatic without all the snow. Give it a few more months.

[ She manages to be mostly deadpan in reply, but there's a small pleased smirk on her lips at his laugh. It's the sort of thing that she wouldn't necessarily say to a Servant or a member of Chaldea's staff for fear of a a genuinely upset reaction--but it's safe to do that with Kadoc, right? Even if she hits bond level 10 with him someday, it doesn't undo what happened. It can be built on, but not taken away.

But when he offers his phone, she takes it easily enough, scrolling idly through the bullet points of information, on to the next couple of pages, then back again. The silence is companionable on her part until she finally finds the page for this mushroom and has to pause and contemplate. ]

Mario is real.

[He's finishing up cutting the last of this little group of mushrooms, placing each carefully in his basket—these are porcini mushrooms, which Kadoc's absolutely going to keep some of. He breaks off a tiny piece of one to eat to make sure they're dealing with the real thing here. It's fine for boletes! Then he leans over to look at the screen and see what the hell she's talking about. Ah, of course.]

Don't get too into your video game fantasies and actually eat one of those if you find it. It's a bad idea.

. . . Probably. For all I know, in Celliwig, they actually do make you gigantic.

[This app on his tablet was created here in Avalon, and he'd studied it and found many of the mushrooms to be similar or identical to those back home, but he's definitely not ruling out the possibility of magic mushrooms, and not in the typical sense.]

I don't just randomly eat whatever I find lying around, don't worry.

[ Even the poisoned cake had at least been a cake! A very cute cake, left in an area where one would expect to find a cake! No matter how reckless she can be in other scenarios, she's (usually) careful about what she puts in her mouth.

Now, though, she has to take a moment to contemplate the idea that maybe not only is the Mario mushroom real, but in a world with its own rules of magic, it might work the way it does in the game... ]

...But now I'm gonna be looking at all the roofs when we get there. If there's a lot of patches, you might be on to something.

[This time he doesn't quite laugh, but he does smile a tiny bit as he scoffs at that. That's almost like laughing. And he shakes his head, getting to his feet again to head a little deeper into the forest and see what other mushrooms they can find sprouting up around the tree roots.]

I'd say they'd know better by now, but you can never take that for granted about people who go mushroom hunting. Get too cocky and it's easy to end up dead. Or maybe just big. Super, like Mario.

I'd wonder how they manage, but I've definitely learned that giants are better at hiding than you'd expect.

[ She follows after him, because of course she does, still idly paging through the entries on the app. It's kind of neat, in a way that Ritsuka very rarely takes the time to slow down and pay attention to. Most of her knowledge has come hard-won on the fly, in desperate action, and not read from neatly written and researched text. ]

I guess, if you see any beanstalks climbing up into the sky, give me a call.

Did you summon Jack the Giant Killer or something? I guess I wouldn't be surprised, considering. I don't even know how many you've got by now. . . . Or had.

[Or has. She has them back, right? Novum Chaldea? Is that what had happened with Da Vinci? He still wants to know about that, but it feels awkward and complicated just coming out and asking her. Maybe this is how he can work around to it.

The next tree he kneels next to is scattered around the base with a handful of Devil's bolete. Nice. Time to pull out the second basket for the poisonous mushroom crew! They look similar to the porcinis they just picked, but uh, more stereotypically evil. More tutorial mode mushroom hunting.]

No, they were more--...

[ Ah. Hm. He surely must guess that, if she's gone through three Lostbelts at this point, that the Crypters she's faced along the ways are dead.

(Hinako is a special case, though. Ritsuka still isn't sure whether she should tell him about her or not--if he does someday come to Novum Chaldea, then he'll need to know then, but what if Hinako arrives here? She'd be so mad that anyone knew the truth beyond the immediate need-to-know basis...)

Ophelia, though. Ophelia is gone.

For now, she puts off finishing the sentence, crouching down next to him to peer at these new mushrooms for a few seconds before she starts scrolling through the app until she finds what she thinks they are. ]

...do they really call these "Satan's mushroom"? Wow.

Mushroom names aren't really known for their creativity.

[Sometimes you name a mushroom and then someone else finds a mushroom that looks kind of the same, and it just ends up being called "false" [name of other mushroom]. That kind of thing.

That aside, it's not like Kadoc didn't notice how conspicuously she just left that topic behind there, and he gives her a flat look even as he answers her question. She's not going to get out of this with mushroom talk!]

You didn't even pretend to finish that sentence.

Yeah, and you're not supposed to point that kinda thing out.

[ SIGH. There are rules, Kadoc!!

But she pokes at a red SATAN MUSHROOM a couple of of times with a finger, listlessly, then sighs. ]

I dunno how much you know about the other Lostbelts... but there were a bunch of giants in Scandinavia. The Director kind of lost his mind a little the first time we ran into any. Given the circumstances, I'm gonna assume they were as close to the kinds that you might've once found in Proper Human History, too.

We never got great at dodging them, but we got better at it as time went on.

So it was like that. Jötnar, huh? Or that's what I'm guessing. We can't actually just travel between Lostbelts or anything like that any more easily than you can, so I've never seen any of the others. Not yet, anyway.

[He knows he's headed to Wodime's, though. He'll presumably wake up there, when the strange dream that is Camelot has ended, if it ever does. That's an impossible sequence of events to conceptualize in his head. Now isn't the time to dwell on it; Kadoc has already, time and time again, and he never gets anywhere with it.

Kadoc goes to slice that mushroom off at the base, giving her a side-eye as he does. Cut the mushrooms, Fujimaru!]

. . . It's not like I blame you for being reluctant to tell me. I'm not gonna push it.

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