isleofavalon | LATE AF SEPT CATCHALL

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LATE AF SEPT CATCHALL

🧙 WHO: Kadoc and a bunch of people, including perhaps your character?!
⚔️️ WHAT: There sure is a lot of dumb shit happening in the month of September. Both OPEN and CLOSED prompts, the latter in the comments!
🕒 WHEN: IT'S—the month of September. (More specifically, the span from the beginning of the month to the first part of the event, ending before any dragon problems!)
🗺️ WHERE: Here there and everywhere, including Celliwig, ~the club~, straight up prison, and other assorted places around Camelot.
⚠️ WARNINGS: Eventual branding/tattoo/pain stuff, the subsequent servitude that comes along with that prompt, language, sexual themes in ~the club~, likely violence/actiony antics in the jailbreak, animal capture and implied slaughter for food in the event prompt, and I'll add anything else!

1. Kadoc the Stubborn Husky (early Sept., OPEN, thanks a lot Claude)

[Kadoc needs a second opinion. Maybe even a third, fourth, and further opinions. Claude is a lovable scamp and all, but Kadoc is a paranoid bastard, and he can't quite convince himself that he's not being had with the whole—howling thing. He sounds fine to his own ears! He's probably not an Animal Mage, although boy would this be a typically embarrassing way for that to make itself known if he were!

He needs confirmation, but after how that went with Claude, he can't quite bring himself to walk up to anyone and just start talking. What if he really is making dog noises?! So, instead, he's gathering his courage to approach people he recognizes as offworlders and . . . hold up his tablet, on which he has a Notes file open, with this typed in a large, visible font:]

I NEED YOUR HELP. NOTHING DANGEROUS.

[ . . . This could have been ~~an email~~ a network post, but he's not exactly on his game right now. Who can blame him?]

2. Jailhouse Rock (early Sept., CLOSED to Kate, Jailbreak quest)
Here!

3. Amanita Bigger Basket (early Sept., CLOSED to Ritsuka, Celliwig's month of magical mushes)
Here!

4. Super Smash Bros Part 2: The Revenge of the Smash (mid Sept., CLOSED to Itaru, The Pain-Tolerant Badass)
Here!

5. Your Obedient Servant (mid Sept., CLOSED to Rinea, The Caring Badass)
Here!

6. Lukewarm Knights (mid Sept., CLOSED to Gareth and Ritsuka, Hot Knights quest)
Here!

7. Jailbreak Part 2: The Great Goosening (late Sept., OPEN, the cute part of the event)

[Kadoc has had, to say the least, an unlucky month—but here finally there's a break, or at least a small pleasure. He's already spent plenty of time out in the wilderness gathering mushrooms this month and was debating whether to bother going on an end-of-month hunt, only for the hunt to come to him for once. A chance to grab a pre-fattened goose for their table to go with all those mushrooms? Don't mind if he does!

The geese have other ideas, of course. By now, Kadoc's managed to humanely return several of them to the farm; his Light magic helps there. It's no big deal to snap them up in cages of hard light and then carry those back to where they belong. But geese are smart. Geese are watching him. And when he finally snaps up the fattest of the geese he can find to take home for himself, shutting it up in another light cage and hefting it under his arm, that's when they make their move.

Catch Kadoc racing down the streets of Camelot, vaguely in the direction of his home, but mostly just in any direction that's away from the ten furious honking geese in hot pursuit of him. He's only barely watching where he's going. Watch out, or you could get swept up in this disaster and end up a feather pillow yourself!

Or save him. Someone, please save him from this entire month.]

(( Check out my plotting meme post here if you're interested in setting anything else up with Kadoc this month outside of the upcoming event; I'm happy to oblige! Also if I forgot to get one up hmu. It was a lot lol ))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Wh-- is it that big a deal?!

[ Is it a secret gold item?! Considering the trouble it had been to get one, she's not surprised, but the vehemence of his response does startle her. ]

Nothing else about this mystic code works except for dealing with the elements, so what was I supposed to do with it... you can just have it, if you want it that much?

[ Kadoc... would probably be a Caster, wouldn't he? He doesn't quite have the certain sort of intensity that she associates with Avengers. It's the sort of dumb passing thought that goes through Ritsuka's mind. Okay, he's a Caster who's going to need these eggs for skills or something, cool. ]

It's a big deal! I don't have a mystic code like that just on me here. Yeah, I do want it that much. Like I said, go exchange it when we get back, and I'll pay you. I'll set aside some mushroom funds for it. It's more than worth it.

[He is not going to just take the egg! The thought doesn't even occur to him, even after she says it flat out. No! Good lord, he can't believe she just held onto the thing . . . is this what farming for materials means?]

I just said I'd give it to you??

[ Kadoc, please. She's using her words and everything. ]

Call it--I dunno, call it a thanks for that lunch last month, if you're so worried about paying it back. But I'd rather it get used for something, because it's otherwise just kind of taking up space in my room...

[ Eventually, hopefully, she'll break the farming habit. She doesn't have a storeroom here! At least the wool she's been selling (almost) immediately for cash, but that also starts taking up a lot of space after a while. ]

Come on. You've got a chance to make a profit here, so take it. Weren't you the one complaining about how broke you were not too long ago?

[He makes a face at her, more than a bit childishly. It's petty and he knows it; sometimes even Kadoc doesn't know why he's arguing. But it's easy. It's a safe way to interact with her: they can bicker and he doesn't have to think too deeply on any other feelings, and it can be about something stupid so he also doesn't have to think too deeply on all the real reasons they have to be at odds. Win-win! For him, anyway.

He does lead her into the forest with a jerk of his head, though. The mushrooms are already sprouting up around the bases of the bigger trees just a few paces into the thicker woods.]

[ She makes faces right back at him. He started it! If he wants to act childish, she has no qualms in matching him tit for tat. Honestly, it's preferable to how she remembers him from home--the way he'd carried himself, like he was cringing even as he was standing still, defensive even in defiance. ]

I've been shearing a lot of sheep this month. I'm planning on hitting up some more. That reward's not anything to sneeze at, you know?

[ So many sheep. She's a little surprised there aren't still tufts of wool clinging to her clothes. She does follow without hesitation at least; even if they are fighting like kids, she doesn't really think he's leading her anywhere dangerous. ]

Anyway, I don't need it, and I don't need the prize you get for trading it in, and you do. Therefore, you should just take the egg, or I'm gonna chuck it at the back of your head when we get back to Camelot.

Edited 2021-09-24 03:25 (UTC)

[He kneels at the base of a large tree ringed with a few big fat mushrooms. Nice. They could actually get a good haul out of this. Once he's settled on one knee, he beckons her closer, though he does also roll his eyes up at her, which is what she deserves for that threat.]

Fuck's sake. Fine! Fine. I know when I'm not gonna sway someone. So consider this crash course in mushroom gathering my payment for that egg. I'll take it when we're back in town.

[He thinks, but isn't going to tell her, that he'll also pick up the bill for a hotel room for her if they end up staying in Celliwig—he expected to have to anyway, though. She was flat broke not long ago! She's really working those sheep! Anyway, he digs out his pocket knife, which is a pretty nice model.]

Take a look at this one.

Edited 2021-09-25 06:04 (UTC)

Fine.

[ Ritsuka sticks her tongue out in brief response, then moves to crouch down next to him. That... looks like a mushroom, all right. It doesn't appear to be anything different from the varieties she's seen in grocery stores back in Japan: more dirt-covered, less plastic-packaged, but still. A mushroom!

It has not occurred to her that they might have to spend the night in Celliwig. In her head, the vague plan was to drag themselves back to Camelot by nightfall, and he can go home and she can maybe find some nice soft ground to sleep on, because Ritsuka's great skill is her ability to sleep anywhere. And he's not wrong to think she doesn't have the money for a real hotel or anything like that. ]

So... that's one of the edible ones, right?

[He sees that, Ritsuka! Kadoc rolls his eyes again, though deep down, he has to admit it's kind of stupidly funny for the two of them to have ended up like this after . . . everything. All that. They'd tried to kill one another, or rather, he'd tried to kill her, and she'd refused to have any part of either dying or trying to kill him in turn. And now?

Now there's this mushroom, which he holds up for her to see after he cuts the stem.]

This one is, yeah. Cut them off just like this instead of yanking them outta the ground. If you don't have a knife, I can lend you one. . . . I've got an app on my phone to help identify them too, so we can use that, but it's never a good idea to rely just on that. Making a mistake could be fatal. I assume you know that much.

[He puts the mushroom in his basket and goes to dig his phone out. The modern dude's mushroom field guide, Avalon Edition!]

[ It's true; Ritsuka is very bad at participating in activities that involve dying or killing the other person.

She is, however, very invested in food and aware that she is not the best at it. Most of what she's capable of are immediately rice-related, where the mushrooms have already come neatly packaged for her to use. She folds her arms on her knees, leaning forward to get a better look. ]

I've got a knife... I haven't had the chance to get a better one.

[ Read: it's a pretty dinky little pocket knife sort of thing, already banged up and battered from hard use, a month and some change in. ]

Anyway, trust me, I'm not interested in poisoning myself or anyone. Did it once, didn't like it much.

[He actually laughs at that, loud and surprised. Just a short bark, and he holds his hand to his mouth after automatically, as if he just expelled some magical spirit that was living in his body without him being aware of it. (That's later this month, though.) It's a stupid joke, but humor lies in the unexpected.]

—Damn. You've got a darker sense of humor than I thought you did. But yeah, fair enough. I'm not interested in having your blood on my hands . . . you know, anymore.

[How's that for a dark joke? How will she take it? In the meantime, he hands over his pocket knife and pulls out his own hunting knife. It's overkill for the mushroom cutting task, but eh, it's what he's got other than what he just gave her. They can work on this patch around this tree, which are all the same type of mushroom. A tutorial mode. He offers her his phone, too, with the relevant page of the field guide app open.]

It wouldn't be nearly as dramatic without all the snow. Give it a few more months.

[ She manages to be mostly deadpan in reply, but there's a small pleased smirk on her lips at his laugh. It's the sort of thing that she wouldn't necessarily say to a Servant or a member of Chaldea's staff for fear of a a genuinely upset reaction--but it's safe to do that with Kadoc, right? Even if she hits bond level 10 with him someday, it doesn't undo what happened. It can be built on, but not taken away.

But when he offers his phone, she takes it easily enough, scrolling idly through the bullet points of information, on to the next couple of pages, then back again. The silence is companionable on her part until she finally finds the page for this mushroom and has to pause and contemplate. ]

Mario is real.

[He's finishing up cutting the last of this little group of mushrooms, placing each carefully in his basket—these are porcini mushrooms, which Kadoc's absolutely going to keep some of. He breaks off a tiny piece of one to eat to make sure they're dealing with the real thing here. It's fine for boletes! Then he leans over to look at the screen and see what the hell she's talking about. Ah, of course.]

Don't get too into your video game fantasies and actually eat one of those if you find it. It's a bad idea.

. . . Probably. For all I know, in Celliwig, they actually do make you gigantic.

[This app on his tablet was created here in Avalon, and he'd studied it and found many of the mushrooms to be similar or identical to those back home, but he's definitely not ruling out the possibility of magic mushrooms, and not in the typical sense.]

I don't just randomly eat whatever I find lying around, don't worry.

[ Even the poisoned cake had at least been a cake! A very cute cake, left in an area where one would expect to find a cake! No matter how reckless she can be in other scenarios, she's (usually) careful about what she puts in her mouth.

Now, though, she has to take a moment to contemplate the idea that maybe not only is the Mario mushroom real, but in a world with its own rules of magic, it might work the way it does in the game... ]

...But now I'm gonna be looking at all the roofs when we get there. If there's a lot of patches, you might be on to something.

[This time he doesn't quite laugh, but he does smile a tiny bit as he scoffs at that. That's almost like laughing. And he shakes his head, getting to his feet again to head a little deeper into the forest and see what other mushrooms they can find sprouting up around the tree roots.]

I'd say they'd know better by now, but you can never take that for granted about people who go mushroom hunting. Get too cocky and it's easy to end up dead. Or maybe just big. Super, like Mario.

I'd wonder how they manage, but I've definitely learned that giants are better at hiding than you'd expect.

[ She follows after him, because of course she does, still idly paging through the entries on the app. It's kind of neat, in a way that Ritsuka very rarely takes the time to slow down and pay attention to. Most of her knowledge has come hard-won on the fly, in desperate action, and not read from neatly written and researched text. ]

I guess, if you see any beanstalks climbing up into the sky, give me a call.

Did you summon Jack the Giant Killer or something? I guess I wouldn't be surprised, considering. I don't even know how many you've got by now. . . . Or had.

[Or has. She has them back, right? Novum Chaldea? Is that what had happened with Da Vinci? He still wants to know about that, but it feels awkward and complicated just coming out and asking her. Maybe this is how he can work around to it.

The next tree he kneels next to is scattered around the base with a handful of Devil's bolete. Nice. Time to pull out the second basket for the poisonous mushroom crew! They look similar to the porcinis they just picked, but uh, more stereotypically evil. More tutorial mode mushroom hunting.]

No, they were more--...

[ Ah. Hm. He surely must guess that, if she's gone through three Lostbelts at this point, that the Crypters she's faced along the ways are dead.

(Hinako is a special case, though. Ritsuka still isn't sure whether she should tell him about her or not--if he does someday come to Novum Chaldea, then he'll need to know then, but what if Hinako arrives here? She'd be so mad that anyone knew the truth beyond the immediate need-to-know basis...)

Ophelia, though. Ophelia is gone.

For now, she puts off finishing the sentence, crouching down next to him to peer at these new mushrooms for a few seconds before she starts scrolling through the app until she finds what she thinks they are. ]

...do they really call these "Satan's mushroom"? Wow.

Mushroom names aren't really known for their creativity.

[Sometimes you name a mushroom and then someone else finds a mushroom that looks kind of the same, and it just ends up being called "false" [name of other mushroom]. That kind of thing.

That aside, it's not like Kadoc didn't notice how conspicuously she just left that topic behind there, and he gives her a flat look even as he answers her question. She's not going to get out of this with mushroom talk!]

You didn't even pretend to finish that sentence.

Yeah, and you're not supposed to point that kinda thing out.

[ SIGH. There are rules, Kadoc!!

But she pokes at a red SATAN MUSHROOM a couple of of times with a finger, listlessly, then sighs. ]

I dunno how much you know about the other Lostbelts... but there were a bunch of giants in Scandinavia. The Director kind of lost his mind a little the first time we ran into any. Given the circumstances, I'm gonna assume they were as close to the kinds that you might've once found in Proper Human History, too.

We never got great at dodging them, but we got better at it as time went on.

So it was like that. Jötnar, huh? Or that's what I'm guessing. We can't actually just travel between Lostbelts or anything like that any more easily than you can, so I've never seen any of the others. Not yet, anyway.

[He knows he's headed to Wodime's, though. He'll presumably wake up there, when the strange dream that is Camelot has ended, if it ever does. That's an impossible sequence of events to conceptualize in his head. Now isn't the time to dwell on it; Kadoc has already, time and time again, and he never gets anywhere with it.

Kadoc goes to slice that mushroom off at the base, giving her a side-eye as he does. Cut the mushrooms, Fujimaru!]

. . . It's not like I blame you for being reluctant to tell me. I'm not gonna push it.

It's just weird.

[ Wow she'll cut them in a moment, jeeze. Some things aren't really suited for multitasking. ]

They were your friends--or, fine, at least your teammates, right? It feels like I'm giving you bad news, but you've probably guessed some of what's happened.

[ He knows that she's denied three Lostbelts by now, including his own. He knows which two they were. And he's a pessimistic sort of guy; the fact that he still expected her to be hostile to him after they'd spared his life in Russia says a lot. Surely Kadoc has no illusions about what happened to Ophelia and Hinako.

...Even if Hinako's circumstances are a little more complicated. ]

The way the Scandinavian Lostbelt was run--it was just a different kind of desperate than Russia. The balance might have been even more delicate. The giants were part of that.

[For him, multitasking mushrooms with this is a fabulous distraction. He focuses on that, at first, instead of on answering: clipping them near the base one by one, with his too-big knife, making neat and precise little cuts and then dropping each one into a basket according to type. It's soothing in its repetition. It gives him something to look at that isn't Fujimaru while she's discussing the fate of his . . .

Not friends. They hadn't really been. It'd been complicated. They probably wouldn't have mourned him, if he'd been killed in Russia the way he should've been.

But—

Anyway. Kadoc watches his hands, snipping stems.]

. . . The Lostbelts are all Lostbelts for a reason. They're all desperate. They're all dead ends. Just like this world we're in now. . . . Don't get me wrong, I didn't really care about the Yaga. Nothing I did had anything to do with them at all. But I did believe they stood a chance if they could get one. They felt like . . . a people who had what it'd take to succeed, if they hadn't had to use it all up just on surviving another day instead. It was a whole Maslow situation. You know Maslow, right?

[None of this has anything to do with Ophelia or Akuta. But what would he say that did, that felt right, needed, appropriate?]

...Not personally, but who knows? Ask me again in a few months.

[ It's a joke, a joke. Though it's quieter than usual, something that is halfhearted and she knows it. She's still idly prodding at the first of the poisonous mushrooms, trying to gather her thoughts. Maslow, Maslow, where has she heard that before... ah. ]

That's the guy with the hierarchy pyramid, right? The things that you need, as a living thing. I don't have it memorized or anything, but yeah, I know about it.

And I wouldn't even argue with you. Between the Yaga and the people in Scandinavia... I think the Yaga would have been better-equipped to survive.

[ In Scandinavia and in China both. The Yaga might have feared the thing that Ivan had become, but the existence of the rebellion at all had been a spark of independence, a desire for things outside of the secure, safe regimes that both of the other Lostbelts had existed under. ]

[Okay, the joke is funny, though, and Kadoc snorts at it openly—though he's glad he's not a more effusive person right now, because he can also easily recognize the heavy quiet that comes along with the topic. Well. They'd come out here partially for this, hadn't they? Exactly this kind of talk.]

Yeah, the pyramid guy. The point is that it's impossible to even think about, much less fulfill, the higher objectives on the pyramid when the base of the pyramid goes unfulfilled. Literally all of the Yagas' energy went to the most basic human needs, to survive just one more day. No one who lives like that has enough left in them to begin thinking about "living" beyond pure survival. But I believed that if something changed—if society there changed enough that those people had a pyramid base to build up on—their strength could've been turned to great things instead.

. . . Not that I was fighting for their sake. But I think you know that. Don't let me make myself sound like some benevolent freedom fighter when I'm not that type at all.

I know you're not. Neither am I.

[ She says it without rancor or accusation. He's not that sort of guy--she does believe what Mash and Da Vinci have said about him, that he's kinder than he might initially appear, but Ritsuka knows very well that kindness doesn't necessarily mean that kind of selflessness. Neither of them come anywhere close to qualifying as saints, no matter how well they treat the others around them.

He's not a savior. Neither is she. ]

Scandinavia and China were almost the opposite of that. China especially. Everything the people could need or want was just given to them, almost immediately. No one was sick, no one went hungry... and in Scandinavia people were protected and cared for, as long as they stayed in their villages.

But that's the thing. It was like... their needs were being met, and it was like all the life had just been sucked out of them. There wasn't any fight in them at all. They believed everything that the Lostbelt Kings told them.

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