isleofavalon | LATE AF SEPT CATCHALL

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LATE AF SEPT CATCHALL

🧙 WHO: Kadoc and a bunch of people, including perhaps your character?!
⚔️️ WHAT: There sure is a lot of dumb shit happening in the month of September. Both OPEN and CLOSED prompts, the latter in the comments!
🕒 WHEN: IT'S—the month of September. (More specifically, the span from the beginning of the month to the first part of the event, ending before any dragon problems!)
🗺️ WHERE: Here there and everywhere, including Celliwig, ~the club~, straight up prison, and other assorted places around Camelot.
⚠️ WARNINGS: Eventual branding/tattoo/pain stuff, the subsequent servitude that comes along with that prompt, language, sexual themes in ~the club~, likely violence/actiony antics in the jailbreak, animal capture and implied slaughter for food in the event prompt, and I'll add anything else!

1. Kadoc the Stubborn Husky (early Sept., OPEN, thanks a lot Claude)

[Kadoc needs a second opinion. Maybe even a third, fourth, and further opinions. Claude is a lovable scamp and all, but Kadoc is a paranoid bastard, and he can't quite convince himself that he's not being had with the whole—howling thing. He sounds fine to his own ears! He's probably not an Animal Mage, although boy would this be a typically embarrassing way for that to make itself known if he were!

He needs confirmation, but after how that went with Claude, he can't quite bring himself to walk up to anyone and just start talking. What if he really is making dog noises?! So, instead, he's gathering his courage to approach people he recognizes as offworlders and . . . hold up his tablet, on which he has a Notes file open, with this typed in a large, visible font:]

I NEED YOUR HELP. NOTHING DANGEROUS.

[ . . . This could have been ~~an email~~ a network post, but he's not exactly on his game right now. Who can blame him?]

2. Jailhouse Rock (early Sept., CLOSED to Kate, Jailbreak quest)
Here!

3. Amanita Bigger Basket (early Sept., CLOSED to Ritsuka, Celliwig's month of magical mushes)
Here!

4. Super Smash Bros Part 2: The Revenge of the Smash (mid Sept., CLOSED to Itaru, The Pain-Tolerant Badass)
Here!

5. Your Obedient Servant (mid Sept., CLOSED to Rinea, The Caring Badass)
Here!

6. Lukewarm Knights (mid Sept., CLOSED to Gareth and Ritsuka, Hot Knights quest)
Here!

7. Jailbreak Part 2: The Great Goosening (late Sept., OPEN, the cute part of the event)

[Kadoc has had, to say the least, an unlucky month—but here finally there's a break, or at least a small pleasure. He's already spent plenty of time out in the wilderness gathering mushrooms this month and was debating whether to bother going on an end-of-month hunt, only for the hunt to come to him for once. A chance to grab a pre-fattened goose for their table to go with all those mushrooms? Don't mind if he does!

The geese have other ideas, of course. By now, Kadoc's managed to humanely return several of them to the farm; his Light magic helps there. It's no big deal to snap them up in cages of hard light and then carry those back to where they belong. But geese are smart. Geese are watching him. And when he finally snaps up the fattest of the geese he can find to take home for himself, shutting it up in another light cage and hefting it under his arm, that's when they make their move.

Catch Kadoc racing down the streets of Camelot, vaguely in the direction of his home, but mostly just in any direction that's away from the ten furious honking geese in hot pursuit of him. He's only barely watching where he's going. Watch out, or you could get swept up in this disaster and end up a feather pillow yourself!

Or save him. Someone, please save him from this entire month.]

(( Check out my plotting meme post here if you're interested in setting anything else up with Kadoc this month outside of the upcoming event; I'm happy to oblige! Also if I forgot to get one up hmu. It was a lot lol ))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

No one's gonna make either of you go up on stage.

[ Ritsuka, on the other hand, says it with a breezy sort of confidence. At this point, she feels pretty secure in her ability to make things up on the fly, and if it comes down to two people hiding behind her while she spins bullshit... eh. Chalk that up as something else to spin on her potential future resume.

And compared to the last time she had to dress up to go undercover? She feels a lot better. There's no Moriarty to hover weirdly or fuss with her hair; there's no weird ill-fitting grandpa suit that made her both look awful and move funny. This is the suit literally tailored for her. She knows how to move in it.

And she's reluctant to mess it up, but-- ]

Maybe we can see if we can get someone to spill something on me? Either they'll have the reflexes to miss, or they'll be apologetic without being flirty about it.

I'm sure the actual servers have honed their reflexes for the job too. No one wants to give some strip club asshole an excuse to take their clothes off.

[He's taking a gander around the club, side-eyeing more than one tipsy patron who looks like a likely bet to strip down themselves given the slightest opportunity. Kadoc would worry more about looking so grumpy about this whole place, but he's already decided that that's going to be his Persona here, mostly for lack of willpower to bring his face to look any other way. Besides, it matches the punk aesthetic . . . he's that bitch. Just for tonight, he's That Bitch. And if people aren't into it, that's really a feature, not a bug.

He'd be crossing his arms anyway out of sheer body shyness, but now when he does it, he looks like he's playing a standoffish role! God, he wishes he could sink right down into the floor. Maybe the knights are being held in the basement, actually, and he can clip through the floor and speedrun rescuing them if he builds up enough backwards momentum on a certain ground texture.

But unusual strip club fantasies aside,]

It's probably not gonna be that easy. But we might be able to set up that kinda situation and see who jumps in to break it up if it turns into a fight.

It'd have to be you, or Master, that starts it, right? I'm still afraid someone might recognize me here...

[ Sure, they'd use some magic to cover up her signature dark side locks, but she was still worried her reputation would precede her, even in a seedy place like this. Enough so that her ducking to hide herself behind Kadoc or Ritsuka on the occasion was less about the modesty of the "character" she was playing and more to do with actual nerves. Method acting! Probably. ]

It shouldn't be too hard...

[ For one thing, she's no stranger to casual bickering. It doesn't have to be anything fraught, just something that will look like it's getting appropriately heated. Between Kadoc's commitment to his Resting Bitch Face and Ritsuka's talent for making people exasperated with her, they can surely work it out. ]

So, how about, I try to pick a fight, Kadoc eggs it on or joins in, and Gareth keeps an eye on the crowd to see who's reacting in what way? Though then I have to figure out what to fight about... do you think people here care about pineapple on pizza?

[ Look... sometimes you've gotta go for the lowest-hanging fruit for a scene. She doesn't know enough about local sports teams, which would have her other go-to. ]

Oh my god. Don't just yell out that you like pineapple on pizza! No one does that unless they're trying to start shit.

[Or maybe if they actually like pineapple on pizza, but how common are such madmen, anyway?! Kadoc tightens his arms across his chest and shrugs, warily watching the crowd. They also probably shouldn't look like they're all together, but so far, so good. This place is nothing if not full of distractions. The woman currently on the the nearest stage is in the final stages of taking it all off for her show, and Kadoc jerks his gaze away quickly when it accidentally meets hers. Ahhhhhh!]

L, look, go back to your first idea. I'll pose as a server and spill a drink on you, and you get aggressive about it.

You don't think the other workers will notice you're unfamiliar to them? Come on, Kadoc, Master has the right idea here, we have to get other patrons involved. You and I are here as "arm candy", right?

[ She could tell he was nervous. Really, she was nervous, too, but they had to keep their heads on straight or else they'd royally screw up by looking even more out of place. ]

Lord Moriarty said the key to passing yourself off where you're not meant to be is acting like you belong there... But you have to stick to your role, or someone will notice the discrepancy.

Right!

[ She's honestly both relieved that Moriarty isn't here and kind of wishing for his expertise... though as soon as she thinks that, she also thinks: unless he was the one running this ring in the first place. I wouldn't put it past him.

That's beside the point, though. She starts trying to nudge their little group over to a table. It doesn't matter if it's occupied or not; it might even be better if it is. ]

This is one hundred percent a fake it till you make it situation. You've got thirty seconds to give me a better topic to fight over, both of you.

Arm candy . . .

[He's stuck on that! Arm candy! Him! This is a stupid thing to get hung up on, but he can't just shrug it off! Kadoc covers his face with one hand, just going along with Ritsuka's urging without even thinking about it; where's she taking them? He doesn't know. He is definitely not pulling off like he belongs here, though. It's so cold in here?!

But he has got to stop pineapple pizza before it starts. That much he knows. He murmurs around the edge of his palm,]

Just bump into someone and get aggressive about it already—

[Of course, in true comedic timing fashion, someone brushes past him right as he says this and shoulders at him hard enough to shove him into both Ritsuka and Gareth. Kadoc stumbles, just barely avoiding their feet.]

—Ugh!

[ Unused to walking in heels, still, that bump was enough to put Gareth well off balance. The chain reaction had been set in motion and no one was certain it could be stopped, a disaster forming before their eyes like beholding a speeding train colliding with another. She could only yelp, reaching out for Ritsuka's hand but missing entirely and...

Crashing onto a table, sending drinks everywhere. On her, on the person who'd been sitting there, on the private dancer they'd paid for, probably on Rituska and Kadoc, too.

Here she was. Gareth of Orkney. Causing bad comedy. ]

...!

[ Well, that settles that, doesn't it? There's a split second where Ritsuka considers the situation: Kadoc's still off-balance, Gareth is off her feet entirely, and the cuplrit hasn't yet bolted, wide-eyed and startled at the chain of events he'd unknowingly set off. Ten more seconds, and he'd probably melt back into the crowd, and they'd be back to square one, which means it's time for her to take the advice Moriarty had given, not that long ago.

Okay. Cool. Show time.

She squares her shoulders, which doesn't do a lot for her height but does at least make her seem a little more intimidating, and stomps forward to get right in the guy's space. ]

Hey! What was that for?! Why don't watch where you're going?! [ Her arm snaps out, an appropriately dramatic gesture, to point at Gareth. ] Apologize to her right now!

[ At least it's easier to exaggerate her indignation when it's real. Seriously! Who just shoves people around in a crowded place?! ]

[Oh man, things sure did escalate—in exactly the way they'd wanted, so all's well that ends poorly, apparently. But he wasn't ready! He wasn't emotionally ready yet! Of course, Kadoc's used to being pushed around in exactly this way; he'd experienced it plenty as a young mage. And his defense mechanism is to maybe grumble to himself, maybe glare some, but overall, shell up like a turtle and let it go. Trying to defend himself, as he had in his early days, had only ever led to worse trouble. Better to just let them get away with it . . .

But doing that here defeats the purpose of what they're here to do. . . . He knows that, and yet he still can't make himself raise his voice in defense the way Ritsuka does. It's a good thing she's here. Even for Gareth's sake—it feels shitty, and it's going to stick with him for a while, but the angry words just curl up and die in his throat before he can aim them anywhere.

Instead, he turns away to hold out a hand to Gareth to help her up, averting his gaze. At least he can do this part.]

. . . You okay?

[Ugh . . . he really should be contributing to causing a scene if that's what they need . . . ]

Y-yeah... [ It was the most she could manage, mostly because while she wasn't physically hurt, her dignity had taken a critical hit. Her stumble had set off as catastrophe, and even if it worked to their advantage, she couldn't help but feel the whole... un-knightliness of it all too keenly, needling under her skin. She was also a lot colder now that she had lord knows what spilled on her, and instinctively she pressed close to Kadoc.

As for the person Ritsuka was accosting, they stammered blithely, absolutely cowed by how much destruction their little off bump had caused. They were also pretty sloshed, making things worse. At least they weren't an aggressive drunk, but they did feel some need to defend themselves a little, insisting it was an accident and that it couldn't be helped.

Someone, surely, had to interfere before this escalated, as the other patrons in the splash zone were growing angry as well. A ballroom blitz was surely at hand... ]

Don't just stand there! You look at me, I'm talking to you!

[ What's one bewildered drunk to someone used to dealing with drunken Celts on a regular basis? It doesn't matter that the guy has a good amount of height on Ritsuka. Most people do. It's never stopped her before, and it's not stopping her now; she's up on her toes now, hands on her hips. The muttering from the crowd seems encouraging, though she can't risk taking a look to gauge for herself. Commit to the role, Fujimaru Ritsuka! ]

Do you know how much this suit costs? [ Technically nothing for her, but this guy doesn't need to know that. ] I'm sending you the bill for this, you got that? And you still haven't apologized to that poor girl! Where are your manners, huh?!

[ Hopefully one of them is keeping an eye on her, because she's definitely still doing her best to work the crowd. Someone needs to take the first swing, and hopefully it's not going to be at the back of her head. ]

Oh my god.

[Kadoc mutters under his breath; only Gareth, supported by him now that she's upright and pressed in closer, is likely to hear it. It's definitely breaking character, but he can't help it. There's something ridiculously familiar about the situation of Fujimaru just going off and inciting things without any fear of what might happen to her in the process. . . . Between her and Gareth, Kadoc's attention is completely caught up, his environmental awareness in overdrive. Is Gareth really okay? He keeps her close, instinctively, when she initiates that. Is Ritsuka going to be okay?! This is seconds away from erupting into a fight, and this mission isn't worth an actual brawl . . .

Something moves out of the corner of his eye, though, and instantly all of his attention is on that. A woman is pushing through the crowd towards them, scantily clad as all of the employees are, but with muscles on her that make her look like she might have been one of the bouncers instead. She's bustling in the direction of the tension like a woman on a mission, clearing a path with long, confident strides.

There we go. That's our first knight—

—and then she nudges aside the wrong person, and the first punch is thrown.

Here we go.]

[ Gareth had the same inclination, finding herself immediately recognizing the qualities of her knightly comrades in the approaching woman. She shined within the shade of the seedy place they were in, something that could not be in any way darkened by the shadows of the tasks she'd been saddled with...

... And then someone through a haymaker at her face and all hell broke loose.

The chaos erupted, sudden and violent, as a tense argument turned into an all out brawl between patrons. At least it made it a lot easier to spot the knights, who were well more focused on trying to protect others! In this case, it was Kadoc and Gareth, one of the large women coming in to shield them both...

... which unfortunately also separated them from Ritsuka. ]

W-wait, the redheaded girl in the suit is with us!

[ "You mean the one that started all this?!" ]

[ The one who started all this, and the one who has not quite realized she's been separated from her companions. She's busy ducking another punch, just short of throwing herself to the floor. Turns out, a drunk moves faster than a stone golem and slower than a diving wyvern, and it's just a matter of timing.

Not that Ritsuka's always great at that. She's no longer quite as sluggish as she was when she'd first come to Camelot, but her reflexes aren't exactly at 100%, either. She's doing her best!

It's just also that, in doing her best, she's getting further and further away from Gareth and Kadoc. Oops. The moment she realizes she's nearly halfway across the room, she pauses, and turns to wave--at this point, it's not really like anyone's paying attention to her specifically, right?--

--which is true enough, but also, of course it's when she's distracted that someone just bodychecks her straight to the ground. Oops again. The sound she makes, as she falls, sounds a lot like: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! ]

[IS SHE KIDDING THEM?!

Kadoc does a full-body cringe when Fujimaru hits the ground, his brain helpfully providing all kinds of awful information about human crushes and stampedes—this situation is far from that bad, as the club is crowded but not packed, but it's hard not to pop up with a dozen worst-case scenarios instantly. He draws in a horrified breath. . . . Thankfully, he doesn't need to contribute anything else to the Ritsuka Rescue Mission, because he's not sure he could anyway; the beefy knight who'd been escorting Kadoc and Gareth immediately darts in that direction to intervene in the situation before any worse can happen to Ritsuka. Which leaves Gareth and Kadoc unguarded, but hey, at least they're not the ones on the floor. (Yet?)

Kadoc grabs for Gareth's arm to guide her, more bold than he'd usually be in touching her or anyone. Desperate times call for desperate measures! He just wants to get them somewhere not right in the middle of the fight, but still within eyesight of Fujimaru! Behind the bar, maybe . . . they can at least head that way, at Kadoc's urging.]

—Dammit. We still need to actually get them outta here, but I've got no idea how to get them in on that in all this mess!

[ Gareth honestly felt herself tempted to get lost in admiration for their scantily clad savior-that-they-were-supposed-to-be-saving. She was built like a titan, but carried with her the sort of heavenly beauty that would make anyone blush to look at them for long enough. She felt like she was beholding that Other Version of her king for a moment.

But it didn't distract her enough to not also be immediately worried about her Master, but feeling hopeless to do anything about it because they were still, however hopelessly, under cover and she couldn't just start fighting alongside her fellow knight to try and keep the peace, much as she was tempted to. She let Kadoc guide her, and behind the bar seemed like a good place to regroup, but...

But.

Butt.

Hand on her butt.

Gareth screamed, leaping nearly her whole height up into Kadoc's arms (boy she sure hoped he was able to grab her or else she'd be eating shit on the bar). A very drunken, black-eyed pervert giggling themselves into a fit right next to them. ]

--?!!

[ The noise Ritsuka makes, as the beefy knight hauls her up into the air is a strangled squeak. It's probably fitting for how much she just resembles a scruffed kitten right now, dangling helplessly. So much for looking cool anymore!

When she hears Gareth scream, her head snaps around in that direction. It's an automatic response--even in the chaos going on, she knows the sound of one of her Servants' voices.

Not that there's a lot she can do right now; she's being questioned, quite sternly, by the knight who had literally plucked her up out of this mess. It's going to take another minute or two before she's going to be able to wiggle out of this one. (Honestly, it might even need to be literally; Ritsuka's loathe to simply shed the coat of the suit--especially since even if it doesn't function as a mystic code here, it still is one! she can't just get rid of it!--but it's definitely an option she's considering. She'd rather get back to the people she knows, at this point! ]

[As it turns out, there's not a lot any of them can do right now about this situation—or at least, it's not coming to Kadoc's mind. But not much is. The whole thing is such a clusterfuck that he's resigned to operating on instinct until he can get a breather and get a look around to form a plan.

. . . But there are some serious downsides to instinct. For one thing, when Gareth leaps into his arms, that's what Kadoc leans on to catch her and hold her, but the instincts born of his years of magecraft back home completely override his much newer, less ingrained instincts of how to use his magic here in Camelot. Back home, he'd be able to do this and hold her up by buffing his strength with use of his magic circuits beyond what his noodly arms can provide in terms of muscle. But here, his circuits are dormant. His crest can't be activated, either. And so when Kadoc's instincts drive him to pulse magical energy through his circuits to support Gareth's weight, that is not what happens, and instead . . .

He shoots a blinding white laser beam at the opposite wall of the club.]

—Hggkkk?!

[ . . . and then Gareth's weight catches up to him, and he drops to the floor, the laser carving a streaky line of ash up the wall until it blinks off.]

[ That.

That at least cleared the room, huh?

Gareth just clung to Kadoc with all the might she had (which was, of course, a lot), feeling a bit paralyzed as to what to do next. At the very least, the knight in question had plenty of space to grab Ritsuka and reunite the trio of would-be-rescuers-who-were-very-much-now-the-ones-needing-rescue.

How mortifying... she felt like she'd lost some of her dignity as a knight. At least the laser had also chased the drunken pervert off. But now they were in a whole new problem. Now the bouncers were finally getting involved, demanding to know who started this whole mess. And they were in a room full of people pointing the fingers at them. ]

[ Well! That worked!

All of Ritsuka's bluster dies at the sudden laser blast, what the hell Kadoc Zemlupus!!--which means that it's not difficult for the knight to haul her over; she's still just dangling like a scruffed kitten, wide-eyed and stiff-limbed.

Even when she's set down, there's a couple of seconds where she wobbles to get her feet. There's a part of her that knows she should probably be more worried about the appearance of the bouncers, but--come on. It's Ritsuka. There are more important things for her to focus on in this moment, which is mostly just staring at Kadoc like he's grown another head.

Or, you know, shot a laser out of his hand?? ]

...cool... --wait, does this mean you could make a functioning lightsaber??

[ That's possibly the wrong thing to say right now, but whatever. She wants to know this! ]

I've . . . never tried.

[He's never managed to fire a laser, either. That was a big oops. But honestly? It was pretty cool. Will he even be able to replicate that later?!

These are the thoughts his brain is coming up with instead of an actual plan, because it would seem the intelligent portion of his mind has given up on him for being an idiot loser and just gone right to sleep. Kadoc doesn't even look at Fujimaru as he answers her, in a dull monotone, still gripping onto Gareth without any cognizance that he's doing so. (He's lucky he's not grabbing onto anywhere suggestive; he wouldn't even notice until he got to be mortified over it later. Safe!) He's looking at the approaching bouncers, his mind spinning . . . spinning . . . this mission has been a complete failure . . . spinning . . . still loading, huh.

There's no way out of this—

Wait, though. Here are the facts:

1. There's no way out of this.
2. He's grabbing onto Gareth. Apparently? His brain is still catching up, but he's still clinging onto her.
3. There's no way out of this.
4. If there is no way out of this, the only way forward is to just own the fact that they're the center of attention now.
5. Gareth is also a knight.
6. ???functioning lightsaber???

Okay. Sure. This is not really a Plan B, or C, or even D, but it's what he's got: Kadoc hisses at Ritsuka under his breath.]

You find the others and get them outta here.

[And then drags himself to his feet, one hand still gripping Gareth's arm, and the other . . . producing a functioning lightsaber.

Kadoc's Light magic is very good by now, and doing this isn't above his abilities, the way the accidental laser had been. He's just never tried it, because he doesn't fucking know how to use a sword, so what good would it do to practice forming one out of hard light? It's not going to help him out in a pinch to suddenly have a sword if he can't use a sword. But right now, he doesn't need to use a sword. He just needs to be an asshole. And that he can manage.

He brandishes the lightsaber (it's blue) at the bouncers:]

Get the hell back! I'm here to free this knight from your perverted clutches!

[ Gareth was just about to say something about sticking to their "roles" again, but in all honesty, that jig was so thoroughly up it was kissing the sky. Sucking in a deep breath, she steeled herself for a moment before drawing up her own magic, focusing lightning into her fists and letting them light up like livewires, sparking here and there as she scrambled up to stand at Kadoc's side, keeping watch on his back.

They needed to put on quite a show if Ritsuka was going to sneak the other knights out, for sure, but it would be a lot easier with the both of them. And weirdly... a bar brawl was well more suited for her than what they HAD been trying, even if she was still dressed in a leotard and bunny ears.

This way, at least, if the bouncers decided to try them, Gareth's training and experience could help Kadoc survive... ]

I may be dressed like a rabbit, but I've got the fangs of a wolf, and I know your feet are telling you to run when the wolf bares its teeth!

Are you seriously...

[ It's addressed to Kadoc, but not really meant for him. It's the kind of thing she's muttered under her breath plenty of times when it comes to some crazy event or other. Honestly, pretty much as the whole damn Rube Goldberg series of events started, it's felt less like a rescue mission and more like some kind of seasonal event. Halloween, maybe, considering the costumes. She wouldn't be terribly surprised if they left this bar and there was some castle jenga going on.

As it is, though, when Gareth picks up the thread and runs with it, Ritsuka turns to the knight who'd scruffed her in the first place. ]

So... wanna point out your fellow knights to me? It's a jailbreak, a jailbreak.

[ The poor woman can probably be forgiven for not quite believing her at first; Ritsuka's expression, like her voice, are both deadpan and dry as dust. At least for now, everyone's attentions are on the other two-thirds of this stooge parade. She can afford a little bit of time. ]

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