isleofavalon | LATE AF SEPT CATCHALL

Entry tags:

LATE AF SEPT CATCHALL

🧙 WHO: Kadoc and a bunch of people, including perhaps your character?!
⚔️️ WHAT: There sure is a lot of dumb shit happening in the month of September. Both OPEN and CLOSED prompts, the latter in the comments!
🕒 WHEN: IT'S—the month of September. (More specifically, the span from the beginning of the month to the first part of the event, ending before any dragon problems!)
🗺️ WHERE: Here there and everywhere, including Celliwig, ~the club~, straight up prison, and other assorted places around Camelot.
⚠️ WARNINGS: Eventual branding/tattoo/pain stuff, the subsequent servitude that comes along with that prompt, language, sexual themes in ~the club~, likely violence/actiony antics in the jailbreak, animal capture and implied slaughter for food in the event prompt, and I'll add anything else!

1. Kadoc the Stubborn Husky (early Sept., OPEN, thanks a lot Claude)

[Kadoc needs a second opinion. Maybe even a third, fourth, and further opinions. Claude is a lovable scamp and all, but Kadoc is a paranoid bastard, and he can't quite convince himself that he's not being had with the whole—howling thing. He sounds fine to his own ears! He's probably not an Animal Mage, although boy would this be a typically embarrassing way for that to make itself known if he were!

He needs confirmation, but after how that went with Claude, he can't quite bring himself to walk up to anyone and just start talking. What if he really is making dog noises?! So, instead, he's gathering his courage to approach people he recognizes as offworlders and . . . hold up his tablet, on which he has a Notes file open, with this typed in a large, visible font:]

I NEED YOUR HELP. NOTHING DANGEROUS.

[ . . . This could have been ~~an email~~ a network post, but he's not exactly on his game right now. Who can blame him?]

2. Jailhouse Rock (early Sept., CLOSED to Kate, Jailbreak quest)
Here!

3. Amanita Bigger Basket (early Sept., CLOSED to Ritsuka, Celliwig's month of magical mushes)
Here!

4. Super Smash Bros Part 2: The Revenge of the Smash (mid Sept., CLOSED to Itaru, The Pain-Tolerant Badass)
Here!

5. Your Obedient Servant (mid Sept., CLOSED to Rinea, The Caring Badass)
Here!

6. Lukewarm Knights (mid Sept., CLOSED to Gareth and Ritsuka, Hot Knights quest)
Here!

7. Jailbreak Part 2: The Great Goosening (late Sept., OPEN, the cute part of the event)

[Kadoc has had, to say the least, an unlucky month—but here finally there's a break, or at least a small pleasure. He's already spent plenty of time out in the wilderness gathering mushrooms this month and was debating whether to bother going on an end-of-month hunt, only for the hunt to come to him for once. A chance to grab a pre-fattened goose for their table to go with all those mushrooms? Don't mind if he does!

The geese have other ideas, of course. By now, Kadoc's managed to humanely return several of them to the farm; his Light magic helps there. It's no big deal to snap them up in cages of hard light and then carry those back to where they belong. But geese are smart. Geese are watching him. And when he finally snaps up the fattest of the geese he can find to take home for himself, shutting it up in another light cage and hefting it under his arm, that's when they make their move.

Catch Kadoc racing down the streets of Camelot, vaguely in the direction of his home, but mostly just in any direction that's away from the ten furious honking geese in hot pursuit of him. He's only barely watching where he's going. Watch out, or you could get swept up in this disaster and end up a feather pillow yourself!

Or save him. Someone, please save him from this entire month.]

(( Check out my plotting meme post here if you're interested in setting anything else up with Kadoc this month outside of the upcoming event; I'm happy to oblige! Also if I forgot to get one up hmu. It was a lot lol ))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Gareth honestly felt herself tempted to get lost in admiration for their scantily clad savior-that-they-were-supposed-to-be-saving. She was built like a titan, but carried with her the sort of heavenly beauty that would make anyone blush to look at them for long enough. She felt like she was beholding that Other Version of her king for a moment.

But it didn't distract her enough to not also be immediately worried about her Master, but feeling hopeless to do anything about it because they were still, however hopelessly, under cover and she couldn't just start fighting alongside her fellow knight to try and keep the peace, much as she was tempted to. She let Kadoc guide her, and behind the bar seemed like a good place to regroup, but...

But.

Butt.

Hand on her butt.

Gareth screamed, leaping nearly her whole height up into Kadoc's arms (boy she sure hoped he was able to grab her or else she'd be eating shit on the bar). A very drunken, black-eyed pervert giggling themselves into a fit right next to them. ]

--?!!

[ The noise Ritsuka makes, as the beefy knight hauls her up into the air is a strangled squeak. It's probably fitting for how much she just resembles a scruffed kitten right now, dangling helplessly. So much for looking cool anymore!

When she hears Gareth scream, her head snaps around in that direction. It's an automatic response--even in the chaos going on, she knows the sound of one of her Servants' voices.

Not that there's a lot she can do right now; she's being questioned, quite sternly, by the knight who had literally plucked her up out of this mess. It's going to take another minute or two before she's going to be able to wiggle out of this one. (Honestly, it might even need to be literally; Ritsuka's loathe to simply shed the coat of the suit--especially since even if it doesn't function as a mystic code here, it still is one! she can't just get rid of it!--but it's definitely an option she's considering. She'd rather get back to the people she knows, at this point! ]

[As it turns out, there's not a lot any of them can do right now about this situation—or at least, it's not coming to Kadoc's mind. But not much is. The whole thing is such a clusterfuck that he's resigned to operating on instinct until he can get a breather and get a look around to form a plan.

. . . But there are some serious downsides to instinct. For one thing, when Gareth leaps into his arms, that's what Kadoc leans on to catch her and hold her, but the instincts born of his years of magecraft back home completely override his much newer, less ingrained instincts of how to use his magic here in Camelot. Back home, he'd be able to do this and hold her up by buffing his strength with use of his magic circuits beyond what his noodly arms can provide in terms of muscle. But here, his circuits are dormant. His crest can't be activated, either. And so when Kadoc's instincts drive him to pulse magical energy through his circuits to support Gareth's weight, that is not what happens, and instead . . .

He shoots a blinding white laser beam at the opposite wall of the club.]

—Hggkkk?!

[ . . . and then Gareth's weight catches up to him, and he drops to the floor, the laser carving a streaky line of ash up the wall until it blinks off.]

[ That.

That at least cleared the room, huh?

Gareth just clung to Kadoc with all the might she had (which was, of course, a lot), feeling a bit paralyzed as to what to do next. At the very least, the knight in question had plenty of space to grab Ritsuka and reunite the trio of would-be-rescuers-who-were-very-much-now-the-ones-needing-rescue.

How mortifying... she felt like she'd lost some of her dignity as a knight. At least the laser had also chased the drunken pervert off. But now they were in a whole new problem. Now the bouncers were finally getting involved, demanding to know who started this whole mess. And they were in a room full of people pointing the fingers at them. ]

[ Well! That worked!

All of Ritsuka's bluster dies at the sudden laser blast, what the hell Kadoc Zemlupus!!--which means that it's not difficult for the knight to haul her over; she's still just dangling like a scruffed kitten, wide-eyed and stiff-limbed.

Even when she's set down, there's a couple of seconds where she wobbles to get her feet. There's a part of her that knows she should probably be more worried about the appearance of the bouncers, but--come on. It's Ritsuka. There are more important things for her to focus on in this moment, which is mostly just staring at Kadoc like he's grown another head.

Or, you know, shot a laser out of his hand?? ]

...cool... --wait, does this mean you could make a functioning lightsaber??

[ That's possibly the wrong thing to say right now, but whatever. She wants to know this! ]

I've . . . never tried.

[He's never managed to fire a laser, either. That was a big oops. But honestly? It was pretty cool. Will he even be able to replicate that later?!

These are the thoughts his brain is coming up with instead of an actual plan, because it would seem the intelligent portion of his mind has given up on him for being an idiot loser and just gone right to sleep. Kadoc doesn't even look at Fujimaru as he answers her, in a dull monotone, still gripping onto Gareth without any cognizance that he's doing so. (He's lucky he's not grabbing onto anywhere suggestive; he wouldn't even notice until he got to be mortified over it later. Safe!) He's looking at the approaching bouncers, his mind spinning . . . spinning . . . this mission has been a complete failure . . . spinning . . . still loading, huh.

There's no way out of this—

Wait, though. Here are the facts:

1. There's no way out of this.
2. He's grabbing onto Gareth. Apparently? His brain is still catching up, but he's still clinging onto her.
3. There's no way out of this.
4. If there is no way out of this, the only way forward is to just own the fact that they're the center of attention now.
5. Gareth is also a knight.
6. ???functioning lightsaber???

Okay. Sure. This is not really a Plan B, or C, or even D, but it's what he's got: Kadoc hisses at Ritsuka under his breath.]

You find the others and get them outta here.

[And then drags himself to his feet, one hand still gripping Gareth's arm, and the other . . . producing a functioning lightsaber.

Kadoc's Light magic is very good by now, and doing this isn't above his abilities, the way the accidental laser had been. He's just never tried it, because he doesn't fucking know how to use a sword, so what good would it do to practice forming one out of hard light? It's not going to help him out in a pinch to suddenly have a sword if he can't use a sword. But right now, he doesn't need to use a sword. He just needs to be an asshole. And that he can manage.

He brandishes the lightsaber (it's blue) at the bouncers:]

Get the hell back! I'm here to free this knight from your perverted clutches!

[ Gareth was just about to say something about sticking to their "roles" again, but in all honesty, that jig was so thoroughly up it was kissing the sky. Sucking in a deep breath, she steeled herself for a moment before drawing up her own magic, focusing lightning into her fists and letting them light up like livewires, sparking here and there as she scrambled up to stand at Kadoc's side, keeping watch on his back.

They needed to put on quite a show if Ritsuka was going to sneak the other knights out, for sure, but it would be a lot easier with the both of them. And weirdly... a bar brawl was well more suited for her than what they HAD been trying, even if she was still dressed in a leotard and bunny ears.

This way, at least, if the bouncers decided to try them, Gareth's training and experience could help Kadoc survive... ]

I may be dressed like a rabbit, but I've got the fangs of a wolf, and I know your feet are telling you to run when the wolf bares its teeth!

Are you seriously...

[ It's addressed to Kadoc, but not really meant for him. It's the kind of thing she's muttered under her breath plenty of times when it comes to some crazy event or other. Honestly, pretty much as the whole damn Rube Goldberg series of events started, it's felt less like a rescue mission and more like some kind of seasonal event. Halloween, maybe, considering the costumes. She wouldn't be terribly surprised if they left this bar and there was some castle jenga going on.

As it is, though, when Gareth picks up the thread and runs with it, Ritsuka turns to the knight who'd scruffed her in the first place. ]

So... wanna point out your fellow knights to me? It's a jailbreak, a jailbreak.

[ The poor woman can probably be forgiven for not quite believing her at first; Ritsuka's expression, like her voice, are both deadpan and dry as dust. At least for now, everyone's attentions are on the other two-thirds of this stooge parade. She can afford a little bit of time. ]

[Kadoc can hear that little exchange, but he makes the firm, conscious decision to just pretend he can't and focus on his own task, which is creating the distraction. If he turns to Ritsuka to address her, tempting as it is, the jig really is up. This will only work if she can slip away from the ensuing mess alone and get the knights out under everyone's noses . . . don't screw this up, Fujimaru!

After all, the chances are already high enough that Kadoc's going to!

At least Gareth is at his side. His first thought had been to take her "hostage," but who would have believed she couldn't overpower him, seriously? Their respective muscle masses are all too visible in these outfits. This is better. They can fight alongside each other, read: she can make sure he doesn't kill himself with this thing. Kadoc glances over at her and nods firmly. It looks so much more cool and steady than he feels right now.

One of the bouncers finally pushes through the baffled, riled-up crowd to approach, rolling up his sleeves; this dude means business. For now, everyone else is just watching to see where this goes. But the tension is going to erupt as soon as Kadoc takes a laser sword swing at the guy—

So he does. Poorly aimed and inexpert, as he knew it would be, but the crowd whoops, people begin shoving forward to get close to (or in on) the action, and please god let this be distraction enough for Ritsuka!]

[ The bouncer was good enough at his job that he definitely saw Kadoc's swing coming. Honestly, by Gareth's estimate, Kadoc had telegraphed the swing into the next zipcode, but she wasn't there to critique his ability in something he'd obviously not trained at. She was there to back him up.

So when the bouncer lifted his arm to block the swing, his forearm protected by a bracer, she was quick to duck in beneath his guard and push her electrified hands forward into his side in a swift series of palm strikes. The jolt was enough to send the guy flying back, and it *almost* looked as if Kadoc had done it.

At least that's what the crowd believed, now suddenly... cheering him on? Whistling? Calls of him being strong AND sexy?

What a strange audience.

Gareth just hoped Ritsuka could do her job more easily with all this going on. ]

--Yes, I know we handled this kind of badly, we'll definitely take it as a learning experience for the future--

[ Ritsuka's keeping half an eye on the situation, but for now, her attention is focused on convincing the knight to go along with her. Sometimes, it pays to be good at both apologizing and at being able to handle the delicate egos of people who only see her as a scrubby background character. It's not her best work, no, but Ritsuka's best at handling people over an extended period of time, and they don't really have that now.

But it is working at least a little, especially with the (literal) light show going on off to the side of this conversation. The knight raises an eyebrow at last, then finally lifts her hand to make a curt hand gesture. Several people from the crowd--notably, all of the ones who haven't gotten caught up in the overall mood--look over, and begin to make their way over. It's not really subtle, but at this point, with all the shoving and catcalling, trying to be subtle would probably be more noticeable.

Ritsuka, for her part, is still nodding politely along to the lecture. ]

Yes ma'am. Yes, I understand. I'll definitely make sure that they know too. Yes ma'am. Yes, of course.

[Meanwhile, in the middle of all the shoving and catcalling,

—Okay, Kadoc had absolutely not done that with his shitty lightsaber, and he knows it. Gareth is the only explanation . . . how did anyone fall for that trick? But what matters is that they did! And damn, it had looked cool. He's going to have to ask her what actually happened just then later. For now, he needs to not get caught up in how fake-cool he'd looked just then and keep on his guard—because another person is approaching, grabbing a wooden leg off a chair that'd been a casualty of the whole scene to brandish at Kadoc. Shit, Kadoc thinks, I'm lucky this is a tutorial mode level battle. This could be so much worse. What if one of these guys whips out their magic on me? He is going to be thoroughly fucked if someone jumps in with kinesis or a well-aimed hex or something.

But for now, it's a matter of swinging his "sword" at this next approaching person and praying this scene remains this relatively easy for long enough that Fujimaru can duck out with her crew.]

[ And, once more, Gareth ducked in low to raise her palm up and once more send a jolt of lightning into the attacking man. Honestly she was small enough that the bouncers just barely seemed to notice her moving, but she was sure by now Kadoc had to have noticed what she was doing...

But even if he hadn't, someone in the audience had.

"HEY IT'S THE CHAMPION FROM THE CELLIWIG TOURNAMENT!"

Oh no. They now no longer had the liberty of time. Gareth had been recognized. They needed to make their exit now. ]

Whoops, that's our cue.

[ Years of experience with free-for-all events means Ritsuka can say that smoothly, like it's no big deal. She's gotten very good at that, even if internally she's screeching nonstop. Oh shit, oh shit, we've gotta get out of here before we lose Gareth to this place!

And as she says it, she starts gesturing at the gathered knights. None of them look terribly pleased at being shepherded by a small noodle of a girl, but it's not like they haven't heard the shouting. It's pretty obvious this is the turning point!

As she goes, Ritsuka tries to catch the eye of one of the others. Gareth or Kadoc, as long as they can see her make a quick gesture to a side door. She's taking her group this way, so at least they'll know which way to go to meet up again. ]

[It's a lucky thing that Kadoc does catch her eye—mostly because he's already scanning the room to try and get a bead on an escape route, which they're going to need right about now. Now that Gareth's been noticed, the crowd is closing in: people who want to take a shot at the Celliwig Champion, and disguised club employees who want to get their hands on yet another Hot Knight. The Celliwig Champion in a bunny suit! They can't let that slip through their fingers!

It's a good thing only one of the three of them on this mission is a very noticeable person.

Kadoc's options are limited. He only has one magic type, and he's not going to swing his way out of this one with a shitty lightsaber. But at least the type he does have is a good one for making a getaway.

. . . Gareth's still within his reach, so Kadoc reaches out to her, claps a hand over her eyes, squeezes his own eyes shut, and sets off a bright, blinding flash of light—not a laser this time, but just a light bomb to hopefully stun enough of the people surrounding them that they can push through and run. Run, run, run!

Also, hopefully Ritsuka and her group have scooted out by then. Uh oh.]

[ Yeah it was definitely time to get the hell out of Dodge. She probably could have set off a spark bomb to stun the crowd, but she hadn't refined it enough to not have it also hit Kadoc, so this was probably the best possible solution. Gareth clung herself to him even after the flash has subsided, trusting him to get her to Ritsuka and the rest of the party on their way out of the building.

Honestly, she felt like they hadn't stopped running for a good minute or so before anyone finally thought to stop and see if they were being pursued. Somehow, some way, despite... well, all of that, they'd managed to pull it off.

Rescued knights? Check. Ritsuka and Kadoc? Check. Herself? Check. Her dignity? Well... sacrifices had to be made, one supposed. ]

[ If there's one thing that Ritsuka has learned, in her years as Chaldea's Master, it's how to sustain a marathon run. She's the last one out of the door of her group, which means that she sees the flash of the light bomb reflected behind her, but she also knows better than to turn and look. Whatever it was, it was probably enough? But no point in checking--if Gareth and Kadoc don't make it out, she'll figure out how to bust them out later.

But she's certainly relieved when they catch up a few seconds later, tossing a brief wave without slowing her pace. Honestly, they've got enough of a head start that they're probably okay, but there's no harm in still going. Just in case.

So finally, when they stop, Ritsuka looks around to take a quick assessment of things... and then she slowly lifts both arms up slowly over her head, a slow motion hurrah. Her voice is completely deadpan. ]

We did it. Yayyy.

[The only response that, or any of this, deserves, is Kadoc sinking to the ground with a wretched-sounding groan to sprawl out and put his face in his hands. He'd better hope there's no one pursuing them still at this point, because getting up again just yet feels both physically and emotionally impossible. He's one with the grass now. His ass is grass.

Well, at least the rescued knights are still with them, and now that they're out in the open and freed, they'll probably have an easier time fighting off any pursuers if it comes to that. But it doesn't sound like it's going to. No approaching footsteps; just an awkward silence in the wake of Ritsuka's comment. . . . One single knight begins to clap softly, only to be shushed by one of the others. Kadoc's a little glad he can't see which two just had that exchange.

Then one of them clears their throat. That may have been a disaster, but it was still . . . a successful disaster? Citizens, begins a voice that sounds older and female—but Kadoc refuses to look to confirm—we thank you for your . . .

She(?) trails off. Ah. Well, what do you say, really.]

[ Gareth didn't mean to interrupt, but some part of her just seemed to take over once the captain of the knights began to speak. She put herself to one knee, kneeling before them, but keeping her head raised, smile shining through despite the fatigue and, well... everything. ]

Sir Gareth of Orkney, Knight of the Round Table in Service of His Majesty Arthur, King of Britain.

... er... A different one...

[ A-anyways. She continued, shaking her head. ]

You need not give thanks or praise. Particularly, I know... that was hardly clean work of a proper knight like myself, but even son, it has been my honor to do this work, and that honor alone is all award I need.

[ Those words would seem doubtful and almost certainly insincere coming from almost anyone else, but it was hard to look in Gareth's eyes and find anything but a keen, shining truth to how she spoke. For her, this was simple what it meant to be a knight, an execution of those ideals she held closest to her heart. ]

[ While Gareth is doing that, Ritsuka wanders over to nudge Kadoc's side very gently with the toe of her shoe. Just to see if he's conscious or has just simply passed out from sheer embarrassment. ]

I'm glad everyone's okay, too. I'm also really glad it didn't come down to a full fight back there, because oh boy.

[ Oh boy! Things could have been so much worse! ]

...I guess if I were going to ask for anything extra, it would've been a blanket for these two, but I think I'm the only one who's reasonably dressed, here...

[ Thanks, mystic code! You came through in the end on sheer aesthetics alone! ]

[Ohhhh lord. Kadoc swats at Ritsuka's foot, then stumbles back to his feet. He's showing enough skin in this awful thing that even his shoulders are blushing. Here's Gareth, being gallant and earnest, and Ritsuka is at least nicely dressed and composed . . . and here he is, a complete mess. Ugh! He fusses his hair back into place, then wraps his arms tightly around himself again, taking a breath. Eye contact is impossible right now.]

Dammit. . . . Sorry about all that back there. And this here, too. This goes without saying, but none of that was according to plan. I guess if it worked, it worked, but unfortunately for all of us, we had to witness it. . . . Good thing I didn't exactly plan on going back to that strip club ever.

[Ugh, okay. He steels himself again, managing to at least look around at the others, only some mortified.]

After all that happened tonight, I doubt the establishment will even still be there by morning...

[ They did, after all, take their key performers, and likely the constable would be around once the knights had given their story to them...

Not that was important. ]

If there's nothing else, we should escort you to the city constable, I believe...

Right, right, let's get everyone indoors in a legal and completely non-sketchy place, so everyone can get properly dressed and--

[ And this is where Ritsuka's stomach makes a growling noise. At least the timing isn't as bad as it would be; she pauses again, and then starts to laugh, rubbing the back of her neck. ]

--maybe get dinner. One thing at a time, right?

It's almost like you did that on purpose just now.

[Fujimaru?! Do you have conscious control over your digestive reflexes?!?

Kadoc looks back in the direction they came. They made it out far enough that he can't see the place anymore, but he can hear the commotion back there. Gareth's probably right. There's not going to be any worrying about that place for a while, at least.

Then he turns back to the others with a little nod, still bundled modestly around himself. His midriff . . . it's cold . . . ]

This is like the ending of a sitcom episode or something. . . . But at least that means it's over. Let's get inside.

[Cue laugh track and star wipe.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

LATE AF SEPT CATCHALL

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject