Gokudera Hayato | 獄寺 隼人 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bakudan_bambino) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
isleofavalon2021-08-09 10:03 am
bakudan_bambino) wrote in isleofavalon2021-08-09 10:03 am
You gotta live better than you were though
🧙 WHO: Gokudera and YOU
⚔️️ WHAT: August catch-all! OTA
🕒 WHEN: August
🗺️ WHERE: New Camelot (predominantly)
⚠️ WARNINGS: Language, violence, drugs, mentions of past trauma: self-immolation, slavery
I. Healing Circle After Party
Despite most of his friends helping him, Gokudera has felt very alone since he learned of Yamamoto's absence. It's not the first time he's lost someone he's cared about. He's not being loud about his heartbreak and has seen on the network that others have lost some people important to them as well. But how often do you lose six different versions of your same friend/rival from home?
Gokudera feels a bit numb, and the strangulation he faced before is healed, but... still, there's pain. It feels like it never goes away, and on his own self-reflection, he realizes it's because he's focusing on it. He needs to use his head before his collar gets rid of it, and he can't problem-solve when it feels like his heart aches more now than it ever has before.
He collects yarrow and lemon balm, enjoying the smell and seeming almost to meditate while he gathers herbs. Once he's done, he's looking about for someone to sit with. There is no visible injury on the young man, and whatever he's going through, he doesn't want to talk about it. He'd rather just get on with the meditative healing.
Even burning the herbs seems somewhat traumatic, and so he closes his eyes and takes a steady breath, wondering why and how he suddenly became so wary of flames. The first thing he will share is fear and pain, a sinking feeling starting from the fingers and winding up the muscle of arms and causing a slight bit of panic. Sorry for sharing, but at least no one has to listen to him talk about why an explosives expert is scared of fire, right?
II. Crystal Mushroom
Gokudera gets on the quest board regularly (it's how he makes most of his money, in fact). Some manual labor feels nice, and he enjoys getting his hands dirty, literally, if only to focus on something he feels he has control over. Cleaning is one thing.
Taking care of a drug-dealer's source is another.
But still, work he can do. Gokudera's out to find Wendy, and he's dressed the part of the mafioso he is. The teen's donned a suit and he's come with the intent to threaten with dynamite, or explain that Wendy might find herself with some bad luck. If anyone stops him on his way to find her, he'll be honest.
He's going to beat up some drug-dealer. That's all they need to know. Gonna take out some aggression. Want to supervise? Help him? Hold him back? Talk him out of it?
III. Don't Treep, Man
Gokudera can be found repairing fences, looking out for fairy nests in the farm land, and helping to clean up the orchards. He has no green magic, but it's moments like these that he wish he did. The boy's very eager to be close to real, live trees. Too many years trapped in worlds where everything was either a hologram, or irradiated has him grateful to sit on fertile soil while he takes a hammer to a fence. The sun might be beating down on him a little too hard, burning at his skin, and he may appreciate someone helping him out. The fairies in the area seem to be enjoying his company, though, and are a fun distraction.]
I don't suppose any of you have tips for staying cool?
[The faeries, of course, don't respond, but just keep on gathering blades of grass and taking them back to their nest. Gokudera offers one a nail, looks it over, and then gets up to go make a sort of laundry line by pushing two into the dirt by their nest, tying a string about them, and then leaving a few sweets.]
Don't let the ants get to them, now...
[Few people have seen how tender the boy is towards the fae, and despite what he's been through, he continues to offer gifts, smiles, and any help he can.]
IV. Animal Mage Hunt - Platina Faun
[It's been... an odd couple weeks, and now, for some reason, he's woken up without his normal lower half. Gokudera's not keen on leaving the house, but he has to attend classes, has to escort the Tenth to them. His current transformation is making going out in public especially difficult. He can't wear pants, because he can't fit them past his new set of legs, and his pet leopard keeps looking at him oddly, so he can't stay inside, either. Gokudera can be found napping by the training grounds, eager to spar with anyone who wants a new challenge, or he can be found moving about the forest, foraging for food and stones.
He's keeping to himself, but can also be found walking about the streets of New Camelot, just... trying to run errands as if his cloven footsteps weren't loudly announcing his new features. His bigger concern is whether or not he'll change back. If he does, hopefully it will be in the privacy of his own home, where being without pants is at least acceptable.
Oh well, at least the little stubby horns popping out through his silver hair are cute.]
⚔️️ WHAT: August catch-all! OTA
🕒 WHEN: August
🗺️ WHERE: New Camelot (predominantly)
⚠️ WARNINGS: Language, violence, drugs, mentions of past trauma: self-immolation, slavery
I. Healing Circle After Party
Despite most of his friends helping him, Gokudera has felt very alone since he learned of Yamamoto's absence. It's not the first time he's lost someone he's cared about. He's not being loud about his heartbreak and has seen on the network that others have lost some people important to them as well. But how often do you lose six different versions of your same friend/rival from home?
Gokudera feels a bit numb, and the strangulation he faced before is healed, but... still, there's pain. It feels like it never goes away, and on his own self-reflection, he realizes it's because he's focusing on it. He needs to use his head before his collar gets rid of it, and he can't problem-solve when it feels like his heart aches more now than it ever has before.
He collects yarrow and lemon balm, enjoying the smell and seeming almost to meditate while he gathers herbs. Once he's done, he's looking about for someone to sit with. There is no visible injury on the young man, and whatever he's going through, he doesn't want to talk about it. He'd rather just get on with the meditative healing.
Even burning the herbs seems somewhat traumatic, and so he closes his eyes and takes a steady breath, wondering why and how he suddenly became so wary of flames. The first thing he will share is fear and pain, a sinking feeling starting from the fingers and winding up the muscle of arms and causing a slight bit of panic. Sorry for sharing, but at least no one has to listen to him talk about why an explosives expert is scared of fire, right?
II. Crystal Mushroom
Gokudera gets on the quest board regularly (it's how he makes most of his money, in fact). Some manual labor feels nice, and he enjoys getting his hands dirty, literally, if only to focus on something he feels he has control over. Cleaning is one thing.
Taking care of a drug-dealer's source is another.
But still, work he can do. Gokudera's out to find Wendy, and he's dressed the part of the mafioso he is. The teen's donned a suit and he's come with the intent to threaten with dynamite, or explain that Wendy might find herself with some bad luck. If anyone stops him on his way to find her, he'll be honest.
He's going to beat up some drug-dealer. That's all they need to know. Gonna take out some aggression. Want to supervise? Help him? Hold him back? Talk him out of it?
III. Don't Treep, Man
Gokudera can be found repairing fences, looking out for fairy nests in the farm land, and helping to clean up the orchards. He has no green magic, but it's moments like these that he wish he did. The boy's very eager to be close to real, live trees. Too many years trapped in worlds where everything was either a hologram, or irradiated has him grateful to sit on fertile soil while he takes a hammer to a fence. The sun might be beating down on him a little too hard, burning at his skin, and he may appreciate someone helping him out. The fairies in the area seem to be enjoying his company, though, and are a fun distraction.]
I don't suppose any of you have tips for staying cool?
[The faeries, of course, don't respond, but just keep on gathering blades of grass and taking them back to their nest. Gokudera offers one a nail, looks it over, and then gets up to go make a sort of laundry line by pushing two into the dirt by their nest, tying a string about them, and then leaving a few sweets.]
Don't let the ants get to them, now...
[Few people have seen how tender the boy is towards the fae, and despite what he's been through, he continues to offer gifts, smiles, and any help he can.]
IV. Animal Mage Hunt - Platina Faun
[It's been... an odd couple weeks, and now, for some reason, he's woken up without his normal lower half. Gokudera's not keen on leaving the house, but he has to attend classes, has to escort the Tenth to them. His current transformation is making going out in public especially difficult. He can't wear pants, because he can't fit them past his new set of legs, and his pet leopard keeps looking at him oddly, so he can't stay inside, either. Gokudera can be found napping by the training grounds, eager to spar with anyone who wants a new challenge, or he can be found moving about the forest, foraging for food and stones.
He's keeping to himself, but can also be found walking about the streets of New Camelot, just... trying to run errands as if his cloven footsteps weren't loudly announcing his new features. His bigger concern is whether or not he'll change back. If he does, hopefully it will be in the privacy of his own home, where being without pants is at least acceptable.
Oh well, at least the little stubby horns popping out through his silver hair are cute.]
no subject
Well, they are under the impression that we care about our home worlds. Some of us do, and I'm sure some of us don't.
[He gives a huff of a laugh at the way she speaks. It's fun. It's not careful or timid. It's bold. He likes her odd, thinks they can get along well enough for him to offer her any helpful words or advice if she should need it.]
I was a bit too wrapped up to pay attention, but.... whether you needed it or not, you being there... it did help. [He admits this in a timid sort of manner. Trying to recognize the support of a stranger when in order to ask for help, all he had to do was show up. He's not accusing her of being in any pain.]
Maybe they thought you were strong and could help take the weight off my shoulders. You know... of all the bullshit I'm going through.
[A shrug and then he scratches the scarred skin beneath his collar.]
Voice commands from my owner would issue pain or pleasure depending on what kind of behavior was appropriate or not. So, it's for training. My owner didn't ever use it for that purpose, but to mark me so no one could hurt me. It was a fucked up world.
Nier Spoilers
Sounds like it.
[She responds in agreement about his world. Hers isn't much better. According to Devola and Popla humans were all Shades now. And people, whatever they were, weren't much better. Ostracizing anyone who was different. She still scared the shit out of the people of Yonah's village, and she wasn't even possessed anymore.
It was funny that he said that; thought she was strong. Everyone said that, but no one knew how lonely she actually was. Why she wakes up from these dreams every morning filled with pain and sadness. So she spews anger and violence to keep up her walls. Like Tyrann... that part hasn't changed... Except now she has a hole, something or someone she misses deep enough that she wakes up crying every morning.
That's not even getting into how much she loathes herself for being cursed with this goddamn mutant body. Why did she feel the need to come clean with him as well? Why couldn't she just go on having him think she's strong and walk away?]
I'm not strong. To be honest, my life's pretty shitty too.
[She leaned back and put her hands behind her head, crossing her legs.]
I live in a shack outside the ruins of my old village. 'Been living there, alone, since before it was destroyed. The kicked me out when I was a kid.
[She waved it off. ]
Place was a shit-hole anyway. Constantly being attacked by Shades. Bunch of assholes living there too.
[Kainé pursed her lips for a moment before she spoke again.]
When our hands touched. What did you feel?
I'm canon blind as hell, no worries
Not that he thinks what he's going through is fair. She wouldn't be the first person upset by his collar, and he's certain he'll have to explain it over and over until the end of his days.
He listens to Kainé, expression inaccessible, frowning as he mulls it over and paints an image of her description in his head. There's only one thing that makes the story hard to keep up with, but that's not her fault.]
Shades?
[He won't tell her his story, or anything about his world. The other places he's been to aside from Avalon were awful. This world is like a paradise.
Gokudera looks down at his hands.]
Pain, anger, I was reminded of how lonely I've been. More anger because of it. Just... what I was feeling, but amplified. The point of that healing is to share your burdens, without having to tell whoever you partner with... to alleviate the damage it is causing.
No one told me to do it, and no one suggested it. But...
I'm sick of feeling the way I have. I can't be strong until I get over this.
lol ok
[Kainé pursed her lips for a moment before speaking.]
Some of that might have been mine. [She looks off in the opposite direction from him.] Being lonely fucking sucks. Especially when you don't know why.
[She takes a breath.]
I... keep having this dream. Someone else is with me but I can't remember who it is. I wake up filled with pain and sadness; my cheeks wet with tears. But I can't for the goddamn life of me remember who it is!
no subject
Possessed? How are they different from humans?
[More details, please.]
So in your dreams you are not alone, but you wake up and realize that you are? Maybe you need companionship…
[Someone to stay with her so she doesn’t feel alone… like a roommate or a pet!]
no subject
Three years ago, I was cured when I saved this girl, Yonah. I don't remember how it happened though. I found this flower on the floor. It's called a Lunar Tear, and it's rare. [She lovingly touched the flower in her hair.] Something about it filled me with pain. I cried. Again, I don't know why.
Too many fucking blanks.
[Kainés expression is hesitant for a moment before she replies to the question on how Shades are different from humans.]
They used to be human, at least that's what I was told three years ago. I've pretty much been killing them my entire life. I hate them. My Grandma was murdered by a Shade.
That's another part I can't fucking remember. I got my revenge and killed the bastard that took my Grandma. There was someone else there when I did... Someone who gave me a reason to live.
[She blinks at the suggestion, a small smirk gracing her lips.]
You volunteering?
[It was out before she realized she had said it. Normally she would have kept her mouth shut.]
no subject
[Gokudera is pretty certain that whenever his time comes, he will not fight it. It'd be great to go out in a blaze of glory, or to risk his life to save someone, but... he can't stomach revenge. He forgives easily, but does not forget. If anything, he'd do a better job carrying out someone else's orders
Then again, he doesn't have many friends he could hurt. Just his boss, and the people he's met in other worlds which... they're important, sure, but he doesn't see any of the relationships he's made with other off-worlders as being 'friends' since they aren't forever. Not even his fiance' is forever, and he'd been assured. Guess it was a lie. Ouch. Gokudera touches at his engagement ring while he listens.]
Because you were healed, and got that chance that not many others have? And you hurt people you cared about. It sounds like something worth crying about.
[Gokudera mulls over her mention again of drawing blanks. Maybe it had something to do with her possession, or coming to a new world? He looks up at her and catches that hesitant expression, then nods as he listens.
Until she asks if he's volunteering to be her companion, and grinning about it. He can't help how vivid his blush is, and how he touches at his collar, which goes a bit snug at the way he adjusts it. Oh... she probably wasn't thinking about what he's thinking. But he's stuck staring at her with wide eyes, mouth slightly ajar, and face a hot pink.]
I-I meant like a pet!!
[Not like... how he was a pet, but like... an animal!!!]
RIP Gokudera
[Her brow furrowed. It definitely wasn't from coming here. She had been having the dreams for the past 3 years in her home world before even being dragged here. She had been lonely and miserable for the past 3 years... and that was above and beyond what she had suffered the rest of her life for her body being different...]
But... if it's that person I'm crying over... the one I can't remember. Maybe it was worth it?
[Kainé really doesn't know. Was dealing with constant berating and bullying worth it, so that she get revenge and could meet someone? She never thought of it that way.
Her pale cheeks are also flushed at the fact that she said it as well. And at his reaction there's a moment of disappointment that he may or may not catch, before her expression evens out again. Not that she knew what to say now.]
no subject
It's not his responsibility to make anyone feel better!
But... she approached that circle, and even if she didn't stay and made matters slightly problematic, he feels he owes her for that kindness. Time to... help? Usually he makes everything more troublesome.]
You lived an awful life where you killed so many just so you could get revenge. But that's done now. So... what do you want to spend the life you have now doing?
Trying to remember what you've lost? That might just hurt more.
I say focus on what's happening to you in this world and what you have power over. Thinking about things you can't change will not help you feel better. You still seem strong.
It's just that... like everyone else, you have problems. You can still be strong, even when you feel like everything is falling apart.
[Not that he has room to talk or give any advice.]
no subject
No. Finding what I've lost is the only reason I'm doing the shit they brought us here for. Otherwise I couldn't give two fucks. I'm tired of that world and everyone in it. But if I have to save it in order to find what I'm missing, then it can wait just a little while longer to rot.
[Really, her world has done nothing but treat her awfully. She has no reason to save it; except this.]
no subject
You plan on finding what you lost in this world?
[He won't be upset with her if she doesn't care about her home world. That's her business.]
no subject
Then that's what I gotta do. So I can find what I've lost.
[She paused a moment, as if she was contemplating on whether she should say something or not.]
It'd be kinda nice to know some people though, around here.
no subject
[Her goal seems very vital. His is... just a search for acceptance and peace. Constant recovery from the trouble he somehow always creates and gets himself into. Gokudera is a terribly unlucky young man.]
no subject
Emil, the only other person who had, was gone. This was all she had left.
She would love to find that kind of acceptance again. Who knows, maybe even, affection someday.
Kainé looks back to Gokudera when he says that. An offer to at least know one another.]
Thanks. Maybe you just haven't found it yet
[She's trying her best to make him feel better as well as she searches her bag for that machine they gave everyone when they arrived. When she finally plucks it out she holds it out to him.]
You know how this fucking thing works? So I can contact you? That's what it's for right?
[She paused for a moment before adding another clarifying factor.]
I uh... I never leaned to read...
no subject
No matter... he will be loyal to him above everything. His boss is good, and cares, and deserves every bit of devotion Gokudera can offer.
Still, he doesn't seem to think that any of that will ever happen here. He hasn't been home in literal years, so who knows?
Gokudera slumps a little, slouching as he often does with his cigarette still smoking between his lips. He glances over as she holds out her phone almost like it is offensive.]
Hmm? Yeah. You can contact anyone on it. Even personally, so long as you have their username saved. Do you want me to put mine in for you?
[He looks a bit stunned hearing she never learned to read, and isn't sure how to comment without offending her, so holds out his hand for her device.]
Anywhere else you wanna go with this? Or end after your next tag?
She hands over the phone, dropping it into his hand. It's true, she's spent a lot of time trying to figure the damn thing out, only to get frustrated and have to hold back breaking the thing.
Kainé doesn't actually expect anything in return for the explanation. She just wanted him to know that she had a reason for not knowing how to use the device. The irony of the whole thing is that her familiar is a book-spirit.
There's another long silence while she let's him fiddle with it before she speaks.]
I'm uh... not used to cities and villages. It's not really my thing. I used to camp out in my own world while we (She and Emil) were rescuing Yonah.]
If you need to find me, I'll be outside the gates.
[That's when her familiar decides to chime in again.]
We do appreciate your assistance, Gokudera. Kainé, be sure to offer sufficient gratitude.
Yeah, yeah. Thanks.
Oh I'm just going to keep going until you want to end it, or it seems like a good time to wrap
Hit this button to get to your contacts. And uh-
[Tap tap click, he's taking a small selfie and saving it to his contact on her device. It's just him sitting next to her, cigarette perched between his lips, looking as bored as usual.]
Click my picture. The little phone icon will let you call and speak to me. If you need to send me a message without recording yourself, you hit this one- [He clicks the text box, then points at a microphone icon.] It will record you. You can send me a few test messages until you get comfortable.
[He offers her the device back and then nods.]
I live in the city, in an attic apartment. The bottom is a sort of... pawn shop ((ooc: which I haven't cleared with anyone and just came up with)).
The boy looks up at the talking book and blinks in surprise before smiling.]
Ah, and who is this? Tome-san? [A teasing grin is offered to the familiar.]
Haha ok! That works. (I am totally gonna text with autocorrect for the audio to text)
Kainé packs it away and sits with her chin in her hand, then glances from Gokudera to her familiar with a groan when he asks the book about themselves.]
Just some asshole that follows me around.
Oh, what a polite young gentlemen! You should take a note from him, Kainé. [Her familiar ignores the comment as it addresses Gokudera while Kainé snorts a laugh. She's known him for ten minutes but she suspects that, that is dead wrong.] I am Kai-hakase, a powerful tsukumogami scholar sent here to instruct this heathen in the ways of dark and death magic disciplines. I have hundreds of years of immortal experience for her to draw on and she should be grateful for this opportunity!
Book. How 'bout I cram your spine up your own ass!?
no subject
Can I call you Kai-san? Or... Hakase-san... or Sensei
[It is a book, after all. They're meant for teaching. Gokudera nods at the explanation.]
I'm a light mage, so... the opposite!
no subject
Kainé, how many times do I have to tell you, you will address me as Kai-hakase...
[Kainé cuts her familiar off with the wave of a hand.]
Yap, yap, fuckin' yap. You're getting 'book' take it or leave it.
[Sorry Gokudera, Kainé has a history with floating books.]
no subject
He will shower this familiar with respect.]
Kai-hakase, then.
no subject
Keep that up and you'll only make its head bigger. [metaphorically]
Very good, lad.
Why don't you follow his ass around instead?
[Kainé taunts her familiar, casually dropping her hand back to her side.]
Because fortunately for a savage like you, Kainé, fate bound us together. [Unbeknownst to Kainé, because she's looking away, a face appears under the title characters, a smug expression splayed across its features.] Besides, who else is going to teach you some proper manners?
Fuck fate.
[The amusing thing is, Kainé isn't the least bit offended by being called a 'savage.' It's the part about 'fate' that gets to her, and not the fate of being stuck with the tsukumogami.
She appears to shake it off and turns her attention back to Gokudera.]
So, you got a nickname or somethin'?
no subject
[Gokudera shakes his head dismissively. It’s entirely possible, given that it is not just a book. It’s her familiar and thus, due some respect. At least from him.]
Do you hate them so badly, Kainé? Kai-harass will help you out most with your magic. That way, you won’t have to be alone.
[He felt how lonely she was, after all. There is your companionship.]
Nickname? At home I’ve been referred to as the Smoking Bomb. Aside from that, it’s just Gokudera. [He had someone calling him Dera for a while, which was irritating.]
no subject
I can take care of myself. [A small pause and another sigh] I don't hate them... it's complicated.
[In all honesty, she felt a sort of comfort with having Kai around. They really did remind her a lot of Weiss, with less emphasis on her style of dress and calling her 'hussy.' The relationship was so similar though. However, she wasn't going to let on about this. Still, it was awhile before she spoke again.]
Yeah, yeah. I get it.
[Kainé does actually need a lot of help with her magic. At least how to use it differently than her Shade powers. Affinity can only get you so far.
She leans back again. ]
Gokudera it is then.
So what are we supposed to do for cash here?
Oh wow my phone totally autocorrected in my last tag! Sorry!
I didn't say you couldn't. But when I mentioned companionship, I think Kai-hakase is a perfect fit for the job.
Now if only his dumbass mun could spell check her tags better that would be amazingHe blinks. Gokudera understands she's new, but... maybe she didn't know about the quest board because she hasn't been able to read it. He holds out his hand again.]
Let me see your device. Then I can have it read everything out to make it easier.
[Of course there are accessibility functions on it! Not everyone can read, write, see, or even hear, so there have to be accommodations built into their communicators. Once he finds it, he turns it on and hands it back just as he in unison with the phone say:]
Quest Board.
[And the device just reads the top entries. If she clicks any other bodies of text, it will read them out to her as well for more clarification.]
Or you can find work in the city, if you want.
pfft, it gave me a good laugh.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
Want to bring this one to an end and concentrate on the other?