Two can be as bad as one

[leitstern]

🧙 WHO: Hendrik and Jasper
⚔️️ WHAT: Conversation
🕒 WHEN: 1st week in August
🗺️ WHERE: Home
⚠️ WARNINGS: Editing as needed



[The light on the porch shines though the sky is dark with night. Jasper lounges in one of the chairs, feet dumped on the coffee table. One hand holds a book, a glass of red wine in the other. A drained bottle stands beside his chair, uncorked and shaded green. The door is open to the garden, letting in the smell of grass and summer heat.

He flips his hair away from his eyes and looks over his shoulder when he hears the front door. The releasing of a latch and the creaking of wood catching his attention, making him seethe. He bristles in his chair, cradling his wine and his loneliness. But he chooses this stange relationship over his anger and sets his glass on the table. For the most part, he keeps silent and continues reading, lost in that strange world between the waking world and his unconscious.

The words blur on the page as he slurs his own. Is Hendrik a foot past the door? He doesn't really know but he'll yell anyway.]

Ah! The prodigal son returns at last!

Comments

[leitstern]

That is precisely what I am searching for! But I cannot figure out the question.

[Slight by anyone's standards, this change in demeanour is pronounced enough to prompt some version of the truth. The realisation he is being watched leads him to turn away. His gaze directs towards the floor. Anywhere but towards his old friend.]

I have no idea what to say. I hardly know who I am these days.

[standvastig]

[Hendrik lets his grip loosen, hand trailing from Jasper's elbow to his wrist. It doesn't even occur to him how little he has actually had physical contact with his childhood friend in years.]

...I see.

[It's easy to say the words, but properly analyzing them takes more than a momentary silence. Still, he does not let go.

Slowly, he eventually realizes that he understands -- at least in part. He had come to expect others to impress upon him their ideas of who he was, rarely giving it much thought. In the aftermath of Yggdrasil's fall, he started internally warring with what the people said of him.

Some form of identity crisis.

He opens his mouth to say something, but hesitates on his wording. His question is slow in forming on his lips.]

Who do you want to be?

[leitstern]

[Jasper furrows his brow. Signs are pointing towards how his companion might relinquish his grip and afford him freedom. Sadly, he is proven wrong. Fingers coil and curl around his wrist, claiming his attention with a firm strength, claiming a relationship. One he had attempted to ruin and bury on the ocean floor.

There is a cold irony in coming second. Again and again, he finds himself wilting in the man's shadow. He should become accustomed to it, really.

Hendrik's words keep echoing inside his head though the question is simple. Who does he want to be? He had wanted to be his friend, once. But perhaps that is too much.]

One of these days I might know. I wish I knew.

[He had been himself, yes, but he had also grown used to being whover somebody else wanted. A son, a companion, a commander.]

[standvastig]

[Despite a wave of disappointment that sweeps over him at that response, Hendrik slowly nods and lets his grip loosen further until his hand falls back to his side.]

Then I will hope that I will be able to someday witness your answer.

[leitstern]

Of course. You are the first I intend to tell.

[Does that imply there are others? He steps back and turns his shoulder, excusing his intrusion as he begins heading away. One step follows another and soon he stands before the base of the stairs.

He stops, turns and looks at his old friend. Words form on his lips but cut short. His eyes shine with water; he still doesn't know what so say.]

[standvastig]

[The eyes that follow Jasper to the stairs carry a shadow to them, brought about by feelings of discontent.

For all that he has said about helping others, he can't think of a way to help the one person he wants to help.]