isleofavalon | Feel it right behind you, a grinning monster out to kill

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Feel it right behind you, a grinning monster out to kill

🧙 WHO: Darin Altway and You!
⚔️️ WHAT: Caster has cursed Darin and now he's using Familiar Fusion and going berserk
🕒 WHEN: Right after Caster's declaration against Archer and the aftermath a few days later!
🗺️ WHERE: Camelot and Darin's Forge
⚠️ WARNINGS: Potential Violence/Blood/Gore/Mild Body Horror

[He doesn't know how long it's been since he passed out. He remembers Caster's message. He remembers meeting her at the edge of Broceliande Woods. He remembers...]

[Pain.]

[He comes to in a sweat. Not from pain or nightmares or anything of that nature, but because the forest around him is currently ablaze. He tries to jump to his feet but his senses are off. Skewed. Something was very wrong and he could feel it. It felt like oil seeping into him, slowly gripping the very cockles of his heart.]

[Rationale gives way to panic and he's stumbling away from the treeline. He had to get back to Camelot. He had to get back for...some reason. Something inside of him screamed that he had to.]

[But his footsteps slowly grind to a halt as he crests that final hill. As Caster's dark curses finally find their hold and grip his very being, altering every bit of his perception and reasoning.]

[The witch's curse was a powerful one. In her grief, she hexed Darin to see his greatest fear. And to act on the rage that he spent his life tamping out; the one fire in his soul he refused to stoke.]

[He falls to his knees, staring at a ruined Camelot. Everything he'd come to know, the happiness he was so desperately seeking. You see, if Darin was as much of a monster as he claimed, then his fate should match that of the monster, the witch of betrayal, that he sought to defend. It's only fair, right?]

[There would be no peace. Not while monsters walked among the people of this world.]

A - Transformation (CW: Blood/Mild Body Horror)

[Camelot was gone. Or at least, Caster's curse made Darin believe that it was. And Darin, on his knees, was slamming his fists into the earth with all of his magical given might; each blow sounding like a cannon shot as it cracked the stone beneath his fists. Inconsolable, he screams, believing no one will hear him.]

[However, anyone making their way to the woods to try and stop Caster or the fire she's set might stumble upon him. Calling out to him draws his attention to you, but there's something...off...about his eyes. They're clouded over with a dark haze. And while he might be looking at you...what he sees is something different altogether.]

You...it was you!

[Enraged, Darin pushes himself to his feet, magic coursing through his body so sharply that it crackles in the air. The air becomes stifling. Oppressive.]

You've taken everything from me, Dromas! Everything! So, you want a monster?! I'LL GIVE YOU ONE

[His giant antlion familiar bursts from the ground behind him and latches onto Darin's back. For a moment, it looks like his familiar might actually attempt to subdue him. Unfortunately, those enormous, terrifying mandibles find purchase in Darin's back and, for a horrifying moment, the familiar begins to burrow. Writhing in pain as his magical power skyrockets faster than his body can compensate, Darin lets loose a blood-freezing scream. But just as quickly as it had begun, his familiar disappears into Darin's body as the two merge.]

[Darin slams his hands into the ground as he begins to grow and change. Two horns erupt from his temples, black and glinting in the light of the burning woods behind him. His torso swells; muscles grow massive as chitinous plates form around his extremities like armor. His body contorts, his back arches, until finally he's a hulking beast, towering at over ten feet tall.]

[Green eyes glowing ominously amidst the haze, the newly transformed Darin lets loose a bellow that sounds like it's three voices screaming in cacophonous harmony.]

[And then he rushes to attack.]

B - City Escape (CW: Blood/Violence)

[Believing Camelot to be nothing but wreckage, Darin storms the city chasing...something. In his cursed state, every person he sees looks exactly like the person he believes to have brought about this disaster. Unfortunately, in this state, Darin isn't much for conversing. He's barreling through Camelot, tearing through buildings like they weren't even there. And any person, resident or not, that crosses his vision is likely in for the fight of their lives as he presses the attack. After all, in his mind, Camelot is in ruins.]

[He tears up a chunk of the street and hefts it towards a group of terrified people, all of which scatter. Or attempt to. It might be too late for some.]

C - Lockdown

[It had been several days since Caster's message. Several days since he'd lost control and was set upon the good people of Camelot. He'd been keeping to himself in the forge almost the entire time, only going out occasionally in the evening for food or groceries. When he did, he wore a cloak with the hood drawn to hide his blue hair and he barely spoke.]

[Of course he did his best to help the city recover from the damages. For the first two days, he worked tirelessly to get supplies and forge tools for whatever reconstruction needed to be done. But he would always send then out anonymously or send them to whoever needed them via a proxy. It's clear that he's doing everything he can to avoid going into town himself and he hasn't been spotted in town since the incident.]

[He threw himself into his work after that but...he still seemed off. Anyone who stops by the forge might find him struggling; hammering away at something that just isn't taking shape properly or tinkering with, and subsequently screwing up, some detailed work. Finally, in frustration, Darin pitches his hammer across the forge with more strength than intended, burying it into the wall across the work space.]

[Frustrated, he sits down and buries his face in his hands.]

Wildcard

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No, it can't.

There are people without homes. Who lost their shops. All because of me.

As far as I'm concerned, I'll rest when I'm dead. And if that just happens to coincide with finishing my work here, at least then I know my life will have meant at least one small thing.

[She frowns. Of course he's going to feel guilty about what's happened, but... it bothers her how often he seems to talk about himself like this.]

That is not the only meaning to your life. Even if it were, isn't that even more reason to treat yourself kindly? You'll do sloppy work if you're exhausted, and you won't do much of anything if you're gone.

[Why is she even arguing with him? She grips the back of the chair firmly, tilts it back so that it's balanced on its back two legs and starts pulling it away from the desk. And yes, she has remarkably little difficulty doing this.] Now, let's get you to bed.

[He leaps up to his feet and whips around on her.]

What is your problem?!

What gives you the right to come into my forge and demand I stop working to fix the devastation I caused?!

Why won't you take a hint and leave?! Why do you keep insisting on involving yourself with me?!

I never asked for any of this!

[That just figures, doesn't it? He's sounding more alert, but also far more irritable.]

Because apparently I care more about your well-being than you do!

I know you're trying to break yourself in penance, Darin. [How could she not, when she saw what he was attempting while transformed?] And it isn't going to help. If you want to make it up to them, then you'll serve them far better if you keep on living!

[Darin's jaw locks as his misdirected anger gets sapped away from Allura brazenly calling him out. He can't hide what he's doing. What he tried to do even when he was transformed.]

[As the facade cracks he grits his teeth, desperately trying to hold himself together. But he's never been able to hide his emotions in his eyes.]

What do you want from me, Allura...?

Avalon was my last chance.

[He pulls his glasses off and wipes at the moisture beginning to accumulate in his eyes.]

I've spent my entire life being told I was a monster. Being told...being told that I'm the reason I don't have a place in my world. That being born is what killed my mother. That existing is what murdered my family. I've had rocks thrown at me. I've watched the church tell the world to live in fear of my coming and then I watched half the world do exactly that while the other half proclaims I don't exist.

Avalon was my escape. No one knew what I was here. No one knew what I could do. I didn't have to endure the looks. People shielding their children from me. Closing doors in my face. I didn't want much! I just wanted a place where I could live alone and maybe help some people.

But I couldn't escape it...[His voice catches in his throat as he stumbles back and leans on his workbench, his legs unable to support him under their own power anymore.]

It didn't matter where I went...I still become my greatest nightmare. I showed this world a monster.

[He gestures out his window to the ruins of lowertown.]

I hurt people, Allura...and I remember each and every second of it. I was in there.

[With tears streaming down his face, he looks her in the eye.]

I've spent my entire life trying to hide who I was. I pretended to be someone confident. Someone people would like. I pretended to act like how my brother would to give his memory life. And in all of that time I never figured out who I wanted to be. All I know...is that I hate myself. I always have.

So please...just...let me go. Take your kindness and warmth...and give it to someone who deserves it...

[What does she want from him?]

[It's an interesting question to start with. The whole time that he opens up to her, she's listening quietly, hearing out the grief that's been brewing in his heart over a lifetime. She doesn't interrupt — not even to point out that she's well aware that he hurt people in the attack, and that he was in there despite the monstrous appearance. It's surely a symbol of his trauma that he would still be questioning what her motive is in all this.]

[Perhaps he'll find it even more baffling when, at the suggestion that she abandon him, she instead steps forward to embrace him. Firmly, unhesitating, her arms wrapping across his back to pull him in close to her shoulder.]

Do you remember every moment of it? Because when I was drawing that curse from your body, I did already say that I would be here, whenever you needed it. That no matter what you tell yourself, I know for a fact you deserve it...

[And maybe that didn't reach him. After all, that form of his turned out to be Diomuhr, didn't it? If it was inside his dream, would he still have heard it as a spectator regardless?]

If you want to make amends with all the people you've hurt, then you cannot leave yourself out of it. People will forgive you for what happened here. I know they will, as soon as they learn that it was never your intent nor your choice. If it was, would you be working yourself sick trying to undo it all?

But their forgiveness won't mean anything until you forgive yourself, rather than trying to bury yourself in shame.

[Once more, he tenses up. But it only lasts a moment before the last of his strength vanishes. He doesn't have the power to resist anymore.]

[What's left, she'll find, is someone barely able to stand on his own two feet. Someone who is shaking in her arms. Shaking out of fear, out of anger, out of sorrow.]

[And she'll feel droplets hit the top of her head as he struggles to maintain any semblance of his voice.]

['Forgive himself?']

...I-I...

I don't...know how...

Then perhaps you could let me help?

[She doubts that he could put up much of a fight like this. But even so, it's going to make a world of difference whether he accepts it or not. Truly accepts it, not shamefully resigning himself as if he doesn't believe he deserves that help.]

Because a good place to start would be not pushing yourself until you get sick — and it's obvious you're in need of some rest. And likely some food, and a bath. [It's not rude to point that out. He's been working non-stop, of course he's going to end up grimy.]

[He doesn't say anything for a long time. Merely he just...drinks in her presence. How warm she is (when did he get so cold?). His arms move like he wants to hug her back. To wrap his arms around her. And maybe she'll see it. Like he's moving to embrace her.]

[And,believe it or not, he wants to. For some reason, a hug from Allura just felt...right. He wondered how many other people she hugged like this. He certainly couldn't be the only one.]

[But from a combination of exhaustion and fear of being rejected, he refrains. He doesn't embrace her back even though he wants nothing more. To close his eyes and drown in the scent of her shampoo.]

[Finally, he has to ask. Even though he's clearly beginning to concede to her hold, he whispers.]

I was terrible to you for so long...are you doing this because you see someone who needs to be saved...?

[He wants to ask more. A follow up. 'Or do I somehow mean something to you?']

[But he stops short. He clams up, afraid of her response. She was good and kind. Of course she would save him because he clearly needs it. But somehow that answer stung his heart, and he could feel fresh tears welling up.]

No, Darin. Despite what you seem to think, I don't normally involve myself this much with individual problems.

I'm doing it because I genuinely believe that you're better than you give yourself credit for. That if our roles were reversed, that you would do the same for me.

[Maybe it's not the answer he was secretly hoping for. But it's also not the one he dreaded, is it?]

[And the fact that she believes that might say something else, regardless.]

[He snorts and laughs dryly.]

So instead you're going to make me your individual problem...?

Heh...I'm honored...

[It seems like an improvement. All right. She'll take it.]

Yes. Again, I know you would do the same. How many times did you check in with that old man after you saved him?

Now, let's get you back to... [She trails off. Oh, well, this seems like as good of a time to ask as any.] Where did you move to?

Oh, I still check on him. We have lunch together once a week...

[He's...a little surprised that she remembers that.]

Oh...I live here. Downstairs, third level. There's a full apartment down there. Bedroom, bathroom, kitchen...

Wait, really? Then... you've had a bed, a bath, and food downstairs, waiting for you?! You could have gone down and come back at any time, and hardly would have even noticed you were gone!

[And yet he still had expected her to believe that he couldn't afford to stop!]

Right, we're going. Where are the stairs?

I...didn't want to stop.

...Sorry.

[He makes his way over to a hatch that leads to some stairs and slowly starts heading down.]

I don't mean to berate you, it's just...

[But in trying to consider an answer, she just sighs. Right. That's not the right way to teach him to be kind to himself.]

... sorry. [And then, starting to follow him down...] By the way, you don't mind if I see it, do you?

No, you're right. I mean...I have all of this to myself while so many people are still stuck in the inn.

...I should appreciate what I have more.

[He offers a weak smile.]

Yeah, I don't mind. It's not much but...

[He takes her down past the second level which seems to consist of some testing areas and storage. And below that, the apartment he mentioned.]

[Which...while sparsely furnished, it's actually very tidy and cozy.]

Here it is.

The inn isn't that bad... [If it sounds defensive, that's likely because she herself hasn't moved out yet. It simply hasn't seemed all that important to her, not compared to all the work that needs to be done!]

[But her argument loses some bite when she actually sees his own residence. It's humble, certainly, but it's far more comfortable than a hotel room. And besides, she hasn't been much more extravagant in furnishing her own room, so the lack of personal touches doesn't bother her. Honestly, it doesn't even register.]

This is nice, Darin! [It's meant as a sort of compliment, a way to note that he's done well for himself — but not actually saying that, since it would be an odd compliment for what's still a relatively small space.] Have you been staying here by yourself?

Mn...thanks. Make yourself at home. S'just me.

[Even though it's just him, there's enough room for at least another person if they wanted to live here too.]

I figure I don't really need a house so...this was enough.

[He pulls off his glasses and starts pulling off his shirt.]

Feel free to relax. I'll...go shower.

Thank you, but I thought that I might—[And then a high-pitched noise of surprise as she turns and sees him removing his shirt.]

H— hold on! I know you said you were proud of your body, but — you're not planning on undressing right here, are you?!

I was...heading into the bathroom...

It's nothing you haven't seen before.

But—!! [Oh, no. Does this mean that he might start undressing in front of her at any time? That seems like such a dangerous situation for several reasons. Such as, say, the fact that he's undressing in front of her right now, even though they're alone in his apartment!]

That was a very different situation, though! For one thing, we were both in the springs! I doubt you were planning on having me join you in your bathroom!

No, but...I mean.

... ... ...

Were you...? Planning on...?

[Look, he has to ask. After all, he's not against it...]

[Oh, her face flushes deep, deep shades of red as he misinterprets her point.]

That — no, that wasn't — I was going to go see about food! Set up something for you to eat!

[And then she starts covering her face with both hands.] Look, I may have seen a lot already, but — you wouldn't do this in front of other guests, would you?!

No, I wouldn't. S-Sorry...

[Go ahead and unpack that, Allura, while he heads into the bathroom to shower.]

[And of course he leaves the door open just a bit. Not a lot but...enough.]

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