isleofavalon | May catch-all

Entry tags:

May catch-all

🧙 WHO: Gokudera and absolutely anyone
⚔️️ WHAT: Mid-May catch all (training and other stuff that comes up)
🕒 WHEN: Mid... May? Before the event
🗺️ WHERE: Multiple places
⚠️ WARNINGS: violence, mentions of past sexual slavery, language

A. Training Grounds

Larry is sitting out in the middle of the training field, blowing bubbles to contain lit sticks of dynamite Gokudera is throwing into the air. Gokudera has discovered he has elemental magic and is working on what he can with wind, trying to push the bubble back towards his familiar, or up safely away from them both. He’s not successfully done either, and has just been creating useless gusts. The dynamite explodes in the bubble, the bubble pops, and knocks him down. This is getting very very tiresome, and his gusts don’t seem to be getting any stronger or going where he thinks he’s aiming them.

“Fuck... why isn’t it working?” He glares and pushes himself back up.

B. The Red Spring

No new arrivals from Namimori, it seems. Gokudera had spent the day watching new arrivals climb the cliff, wondering if he’d see someone from home. The journey back had been familiar and helped somewhat to clear his mind. But he’s been looking forward to bathing in the Red Spring. He feels partially new to Avalon after his reawakening, gone for years, and his body aged and scarred, when he’d apparently never left Camelot. Anyone who recognizes Gokudera from last month or any time prior will see the difference. Those who responded to his network post will already understand. But for those who have never met him, he’s acting very much like a new arrival.

The teenager lowers into the spring, the trunks he’s wearing keep him decent, but there is nothing to hide the vivid burn scars and long tally-marks down his back. There’s a black leather half-choke collar about his neck, and occasionally, there is a glow from beneath it, against the skin of his neck that looks like it’s burned many times over. Despite the fact that there is electricity attached to his neck, he fully submerges for a moment, then surfaces and decides he’ll play with the more illusory side of his light magic.

If you are unlucky enough to be anywhere near him, he’ll walk right up and offer you his entire left arm. It’s not real. It’s a smoke bomb, a prank, but hey, as far as your character should be able to tell, he just took off his arm and is handing it to you.

“Hey can you watch this for me? Thanks.” And then he’ll be getting out of the water so his familiar can be amused.

C. Wildcard! Seriously. Do whatever.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Okay so there's a big difference there. My idiot lover has no clue." He points out. Hard to convince Yamamoto that they are lovers when the baseball idiot only has brains for baseball.

Listening to Nobunaga pick apart the word 'fuck' does not sit well with him. Coming from a world where he needed to have sex to survive... it all just makes him feel worse.

"And if he hates me for it, then there will be no enjoyment." Here he goes, living again beneath fear of what could happen without bothering to take the chance to confront his feelings. It's a big risk, and if he really were to think about and break down why he's so scared, he'd realize that loving Takeshi is worth it. It's probably never going to stop for him. If the baseball idiot thinks less of him, that will just be something that will not change his life. It will hurt. The Tenth knowing... that needs to be handled more carefully.

Nobunaga tilts his head. "I do not mean... perhaps different versions of the same person, were Kitsuno from my world to arrive here and not remember me... I would not wish to tell her a damn thing."

Definitely not.

"Rather, don't pine for the past. Something better might come along, so long as you keep your head up to not miss it -- as impossible as that seems now." He gets it, of course it seems impossible, but after so many impossible things, how can anything truly be?

"Why would he hate you?"

Gokudera nods vigorously at that. Not telling Yamamoto a damn thing is exactly his current course of action.

"Something better..." he pouts. But... he and Takeshi are engaged, and he can't imagine being with anyone but him, honestly. Amoi had him with so many different people, and he was finally ready to settle down. Maybe he should stop focusing on the relationship so much and work on his current ones with the circumstances of this world in mind.

"Because thinking romantically about him might make him uncomfortable? If he's not interested in me, but say... a girl in this world, and he thinks I won't support him because I'm engaged to another version of him, that would put a lot of strain on our relationship." Right? He's basically saying it would ruin their friendship, but that's never been the right word to describe how they interact.

"Right..." Nobunaga shuddered and rubbed his temples, sitting upright instead of his normal lounging like a big cat.

"I don't have equals. I never have. There is much written of my relationship with my page, Ranmaru, but I haven't seen him since the fires other versions of me died in at Honno-Ji. It's easy to say I wouldn't do this or that, but again, I have no equals. If I had a relationship with Mitsuhide or another vassal, on this world, or another, only to travel and they forgot it, it'd be easy for me to ignore it and start over. But they would never broach such a thing with me if I forgot, because of the position of politics and my rank as Demon King."

A quiet huff. "All I can say is don't look back. I don't mean it to be fatalistic, merely, regret nothing, and don't let it hold you back from enjoying now. I'm not doing anything the same with Princess Kitsuno as the one from my world. In part because it'd be boring, but also because it can never be the same. As similar as we are, I've grown, and circumstances here are so much freer than it could be for me back then, or her with her demon king to her future."

A distant gaze. "It's true, if she left now, came back without remembering me, then I'd want to try to kidnap, and romance her all over again." A shrug. "But it is different. She knows her betrothed Demon King has been seeking her power since it came through her, and I'll always dedicate myself to her freedom."

Nobunaga nodded. "You've certainly grown from your offworld experiences and you should cherish all of that and the strength it gives you. But he hasn't grown with you. Whether you tell or not, that's up to you two. I think it'd be easiest if you either explain you don't expect things to be the same, or simply that you've changed. But remember, it can't ever be like those other worlds, because the circumstances have changed again. And that sounds a lot like it's for the better."

An additional thought occurred to him, and he held up a finger as he drank yet more sake. "I should add, at first I called the Kitsuno here an evil spirit because, as I said, I thought she was haunting me. And then I downright refused to say her name because it always brought to mind a grave for me. She earned back her name by showing me the differences. So that I no longer thought of what was, but I was able to see her for who she is, in front of me, here and now. Part of me was even furious with her for sharing her name and similar circumstances. Mitsunari is her father's name, my youngest tactician, her brothers have similar names, her Demon King, all of it. When she invited me to her home, neither of us had intentions to take things so far, but as the Demon King, I do try to corrupt everyone." He shrugged. He had a point to all this, what was it again? "So maybe start off by acknowledging, they're not the same. It's easier for me because they look different, act different, are different, but it's a little more like Lucy and Nyuu for you I think. Only without even the communication by notes with each other. So whatever you tell him, make sure he knows that. He's not the same, he can't be, and keep looking forward."

And then he's a little distracted mentally sorting into boxes the differences in Kitsunos, and what it is he likes about the new one, and carefully leaving the old one's boxes sealed and buried along her grave.

"The traits will still be there, so that's different from Lucy and Nyuu, but the memories and circumstances aren't there. And you're different too. The Demon King from before knowing any Kitsuno is vastly different from this one." A shrug. "You'll do fine," he lightly shoved Gokudera's arm like he would have to Hideyoshi.

Gokudera listens and doesn’t feel he’s living with regret. He may, if he keeps on acting out of fear and avoiding his boss and this new baseball idiot. Nobunaga makes some very fair points, and surely, if this Yamamoto were to return his feelings or even bring them up ahead of Gokudera, he’d seize them.

Then there is the manner of what Amoi had him do, how he feels so very defiled based on that life he had. Coming back from it is possible, not easy, and he definitely is not unscathed. It isn’t like he will try to bed anyone or be promiscuous on habit, but now there are needs, and longing, and pining. He’s loyal, though... faithful. It’s just that none of it is easy.

Maybe, after all of the hell he’s been through, and all of the struggling, that will make each reward he’s given that much better. Being on this world is a reward and punishment all at once.

Still, the advice he’s being given is wise, and Nobunaga hasn’t even been too invasive in his questioning. Gokudera does feel better having spoken with him, and he looks up to him, a dim smile on his face until the man shoves him, and of all things, his collar reacts. It jolts pain right into him and he moves to turn away, shoulders raised, hand at the straining muscle of his neck. But turning away only makes it worse, so he drops to his knees and bows, forehead to the damp earth that surrounds the springs.

“Thank y-you!” He says through obvious strain, and then the pain just as suddenly as it came stops.

"What the hell is that?" Nobunaga demanded quietly, but in a deathly still voice.

Despite the seething rage, because he suspects, and his suspicion is the kind of thing that makes him murderous, his hands are steady as they flicker towards his katana. He really needs to get a couple shortswords, and not just the dirk in one boot, and razor in another, and paperclip and various bobby pins on the hem sleeves of his clothes.

Knowing that Gokudera might even feel ashamed about it, he calmly sipped his sake, even as he inched closer, ready to pour some of the healing sake down Gokudera's throat. "Kitsuno has a dozen gold bangles. They are wards for her curse in her realm. We think the curse might be inactive here, though it's difficult to say for sure."

He was still a little secretly salty that she felt she had to get a goldsmith's help instead of Nobunaga's -- though he wasn't sure if it was specifically because it was Emet-Selch or not, but there was a lot of pride in being able to look after anyone, everyone, and especially Kitsuno's freedom that made the feeling so irrational. There was probably some high-level robotics into the collar, that would make just cutting it off impossible without hurting Gokudera, but Nobunaga was fairly certain if he could examine it, maybe get a certain thief's fast finger help, he could at least remove that particular physical reminder of Gokudera's past for him. It wasn't Kitsuno, but hers was magical, and Nobunaga was a lot more confident with non-magic.

Gokudera looks up, glances about and tries to play dumb. "What're you talking about?"

Having a murderously suspicious warlord standing before him is... not comforting. The hands towards the katana is even more scary, and Gokudera crawls back on his hands and knees. He is more than ready to maintain that distance between them. If touching had triggered it, or tone, he's not sure. It's malfunctioning technology. He listens, clueless what Kitsuno's gold bangles have to do with him.

He'd stand, but worries that would put him in easier grabbing or force-drinking range.

"Around your neck, causing you pain," he answered quietly, evenly.

"Oh, my pet ring?" Gokudera replies simply, keeping a careful eye on Nobunaga.

Yeah. It takes a good deal of composure, and Nobunaga's kind of glad he used up so energy throwing the healing into the sake, because it means he's almost too tired to do anything rash.

Nobunaga calmly sipped his sake again.

And as carefully as dealing with any proud wounded soldier, handed Gokudera the cup again.

"Why does it still--"

He grit his jaw and tried to find the words.

"Do you have someone looking into how to rid you of it?"

Gokudera accepts the cup of sake and sips at it, then looks down into it while speaking, hoping that his own calm answer will help? with Nobunaga's anger. He really doesn't like it. It's maybe part of the reason why his pet ring is acting up. That's the only explanation he can come up with at the moment.

"I've had some curious technomancers ask about it. I just need it fixed, though." Notice how he doesn't say he wants it removed.

"Why not removed?" Yeah, you're not escaping this easily, Gokudera.

He can't cut off Kitsuno's, he has to accept letting some other immortal look at it magically, the least he can do is a nonmagical one. He also has technomancy, if he ever gets his healing good enough. But combine the two he could almost definitely do it.

"I want it repaired by someone capable, or deactivated by my currently ignorant ex-owner. Not removed. And seeing as how I don't want my ex to know about the struggle I'm facing, since that will bring to light so many of the issues I'm trying to resolve and accept within myself, I need it repaired."

He'll just sort of tip-toe around his legitimate answer. It's not a good one, anyways.

Nobunaga squints. "Your ex-owner?"

Another jaw shift. "As I said, Kitsuno believes her curse the bangles are wards against is moot here, and yet, she still went to a goldsmith to work on the magic of it." Tch, what matters most is her freedom. However she gets it.

What matters most for Gokudera is more complicated than that. Pride, self-respect, reclaiming ownership of himself.

"Is your former owner and lover one and the same?"

Gokudera nods. “This isn’t something magical. I can’t just pop into a shop and have it removed. There is no switch to suddenly turn off.”

It is what it is until he can ask Yamamoto to take it off him… until he’s ready to open that can of worms.

“Yes.”

"Neither can she. And if I tried to cut it, it might activate something I'm not prepared for," that goes for Gokudera's too.

Ah, and there's the crux of it.

Nobunaga once again threw all his anger and frustration into healing magic in Gokudera's sake.

"Drink."

And then he just flopped out on the ground again.

"When I get stronger, I will fix it for you, or you will be strong enough not to need it to push you forward."

Aw fuck it, he's just going to close his eyes for a little bit. What is moderation when it comes to magic?

Gokudera does as he’s told and drinks, then wobbles some.

“Push me forward? I don’t mind it. Just… the malfunction sometimes… usually around Elites. But it holds a lot of memories. When I died, my Takeshi held onto it for me.” And maybe he’s just sentimental.

“I wanted to be sure if I came back to that world, I had a beacon. A sort of item to summon me. It interfered with a VR system he was in and showed him my memories. I don’t want to get-“ he hiccups, then rubs at his flushed face. “Get rid of it.”

Nobunaga nodded slowly.

"That is how Kitsuno is as well. Not for sentimental reasons, but just in case." All the same Nobunaga pouted slightly. "She wants to be able to take it on and off without worry," whereas obviously Nobunaga's solution is cut the things in half. "I need to ask someone," Miwako, "About a suitably cute... something."

A headshake.

He knows peripherally, if Hideyoshi ever wound up in a world like that, with one of those collars, he'd never get rid of it either. And even now, Nobunaga still wanted to cut it.

"Obviously the --" .... there is no fucking way he is going to say the word pet. He doesn't even call Haguro a pet! He will objectify human beings without thinking twice about it. Use them as cups, tables, pillows, chess pieces, you name it. But ugh. Pet. Nope!

Nobunaga reached for the sake and his hands were a little unsteady, not from rage, just from exhaustion, but he got a cup poured and took the tiniest of sips that he safely could without sitting up.

He waved his hand after setting the cup back down. "Commoner side is worse." He needed to detach it mentally, emotionally. Not his world. So far removed he can't do anything. But what is his world, his point to this, is the real reason he's got such strong emotions enough to conquer and try to fix Japan in the first place! "But it's confining even for elites. At least it was in Japan. And for Kitsuno. It's the trap of power. The more power you gain, the more responsibility. The more responsibility, the more eyes on you, the more you know your decisions don't affect just you. And the more political maneuverings and demons drawn to you to try to take it from you. No person anywhere can say their decisions don't affect anyone else, but castes are the worst. The stupidest."

More drinking, and he struggles a little but pushes himself back up slowly.

"Sometimes I wonder if I even know the Hideyoshi from history books. Killing Mitsuhide to avenge me, he'd absolutely do. But it seems like--" Nobunaga blinked, realizing the sake must be going to his head for him to say that much out loud. He flushed quietly and closed his eyes. "Never mind. Just be careful. It isn't just romance, in that case." He opened his eyes but they remained narrowed now. "Be careful what demons you awaken."

That's ominous. An awkward pause. "I don't mean your former lover. You said it reacts to elites. I suppose I am one. I'll try to find a way to prevent that, but most off-worlders are elite in some way or another. And demons are very good at exploiting weaknesses. Masamune got rid of an eye rather than let it be a weakness. Just be prepared to make sure no one else takes control of you. Demons are like that."

"Some other type of jewelry? Like a charm to put on the bangles? I have my boss's ring on this collar." He smiles and reaches to touch it, pulling it up, which pulls the chain and tightens the collar about his neck nice and snug.

He listens, and is trying to follow, but it's getting increasingly difficult with the amount of sake he's put away. His cup is empty again, but it seems that it's been doing it's job well.

"Commoner side?" Gokudera looks down at the ring, drops it, and the collar loosens. "Oh no... It won't bother Takeshi at all. My first owner had his device connected to my pet ring, so he could check on me if he wanted. But this one... my lover was also my owner by that world's standards... he just wanted me to be able to stay with him... and if I had this on, then no other Elite could touch me. It'd be like stealing or damaging his property. There were a lot of Elites... not so much pressure on them. It was nice while it lasted..." And now his gaze is a bit dreamy, thinking about all the time he got to spend one-on-one with Takeshi. A lavish floor to themselves, and time with the Tenth. So what if Gokudera was a mongrel in public? He got to stay close to his family.

"Demons?" He was busy day-dreaming, mentally reliving the good in that awful world. "You mean people who would harm me with this?" His collar, he means.

"Elites have darker hair. Black, blue, purple, green, or brown... And so far on this world, most people don't recognize it as anything other than an odd fashion accessory. Boss hasn't even noticed it does anything." Even though it literally burned into Gokudera's neck right in front of him. "The Tenth has a lot to manage so he shouldn't have to worry about me like that..."

A small grunt. "I'd rather it wasn't on the bangles at all..." But then maybe that was a good way to turn a negative into a positive, like Gokudera's collar?

"Yes," a slow nod. "There are less here I've noticed than in my own time, but plenty enough you need to be careful. Any weakness can be seized upon." Maybe, if he was more honest with himself, it could be the small fear that Nobunaga had about the bangles and wanting to protect Kitsuno. Alas, as has been said by others of Nobunaga, it's not that he lacks emotions, he just buries them so deeply he doesn't know how to acknowledge them.

"The Tenth is your Boss? Bosses always should worry about people in their command, otherwise they're not doing their job."

"It won't seem so bad, since it will redirect her attention towards you. So... a good thing!" He supplies, not usually having a positive attitude, but this has worked for him. It's at least worth a try, right?

"Of course. When I first woke up and put my message on the network seeking help, I made sure to conceal everything about what this collar could do to only people I thought I could trust. To those wanting to know more, or who meant me harm, I told them what would happen to them and not how. Takeshi would kill someone for killing me, and this Yamamoto here would probably not hesitate to do the same." Back on Amoi, Yamamoto cut off another man's hand for strangling Gokudera, and before his update, the Yamamoto in New Camelot killed a man who was going to use magic to hurt the bomber. Still, he doesn't know if he can confess his feelings? He's an idiot.

"Yes. But I make him worry about me constantly!" And to take a note from Stella...

"I can't try to take care of someone else if I can't take care of myself."

"Perhaps..." Nobunaga hesitated. He really loves it here. No worries about families and politics or marriages for the sake of consolidating power, or having to keep certain things secret or outright forbidden. None of the castes, literally everything he worked his whole life and ambition for were realized, and all this is the fruits of that. Though it's still a trip to go from burying his feelings about Kitsuno deeper than her grave or an ocean, to just how routinely people knew of and were cheering him on! "Her Demon King believed he could resolve her curse himself by marrying her, but that would confine her to the realm of shadows. So I don't want it to remind her of him."

Nobunaga shook his head. "Neither here nor there, I have one more person to ask about such things," Miwako, maybe Nyuu or Lucy too, "But I'm considering it highly."

There was a quiet thoughtful hum about the collar and killing. Alas, Nobunaga would cheerfully kill for less, so he wouldn't know either.

"Idiot," he softly chided, but not with any real anger or vitriol to it. "Didn't anything from other strong men and surviving such experiences wear off on you? No one can take care of themselves alone. Hideyoshi, my right hand, can't take care of himself either. He would work late all nights, train for the sake of training, smoke, and likely get himself killed in battle trying to get all the kills for himself. I won't let him die though, because I need him to lead my army. My left hand, Mitsuhide, is another troublesome workaholic, who would forget to eat entirely if we didn't occasionally make him. He's the most capable of being on his own, but he doesn't have a grand ambition, tactics, or swordsmanship like Hideyoshi. With his sharp tongue, without the rest of us, he'd have been killed by another Lord for simply speaking his mind too freely, and outmaneuvered politically without force to back his ideals."

Nobunaga's not going to say his own flaws, either they're obvious or not. "Each person is like a component in gunpowder. Individually, they might be flammable, but they're not explosive or strong enough without the others. It's together that they make bullets fly. I won't pretend I'm not trying to get in as much freedom without a persistent monkey on my back while I can," Hideyoshi of course, "And he carries it so far there are times I want to kick him," he had in fact, kicked Mitsuhide, but Hideyoshi had a commoner complex and none of Mitsuhide's sneakier nature. "But I get most irritated with him when he won't let me protect him like the idiot monkey he is. Especially when he lets his birth status matter. It shouldn't, and it doesn't to me."

He wanted to poke Gokudera's forehead, but he didn't want to accidentally set the collar off again, and he wasn't sure he had enough energy in him to buffer while doing it. Nobunaga tried to think of a hand gesture from the movies that would be similar, or make one up. So he pointed two fingers towards Gokudera's forehead, making sure to keep them a safe distance.

"Don't be a stupid monkey. If you don't trust your boss to look after you, he won't be as strong as he needs to be, as you both want him to be. It's not a failure to admit pain. It's a failure to give your commander false status information so he can't fix what is needed."

Although come to think, he never did ask what Gokudera's job was exactly. Something about explosives like Mitsuhide, wasn't it? But his boss was like a lord, and yet wasn't most caste systems abolished? He'll figure it out. He's still completely certain that Gokudera's boss was in a position of ensuring safety and obviously, command of some kind. Also of his lover. So it's not a huge stretch for Nobunaga to relate to. Not at all.

"So try to do something completely different? Maybe think of her and not you so much when you get her the gift? Not... What you think looks good on her, but something she likes? I'm not sure how to advise for a gift like that. I usually stick to practical things." Gokudera says, feeling much more comfortable the more intoxicated he's become.

"Mmmn smart to ask other people before you come to a decision." He says softly and wonders who Nobunaga might ask.

Gokudera blinks as he listens to Nobunaga talk about his right and left hands. Oh... he wishes his boss would take responsibility and his title. This lecture feels like it would be perfect coming from a boss, but this isn't his boss. The boy pouts and looks off to the side, growing irritated by the man's well-meaning words.

"I can't just tell him everything all at once! It's even too much for me to try and sort through! Plus, neither of us can remedy any of it! Each solution is just going to make it even worse! It's not that I don't want his help, and I'm sure he'll think I've been avoiding him..." UGH. "We're all just kids still..." Why do his problems have to feel so big and insurmountable?!

"I think it might be best if I move out and live on my own for a while. And then when I'm ready, I can tell him what's going on." Because Tsuna will likely be overwhelmed by each detail.

"Good thinking. What she likes." WHOOSH. But he will think on it. And ask for help from women.

"Are you?" Still just children, Nobunaga means. "I know the future tries harder to protect children, but Nobuyuki was younger than thirteen when he created a war to try to take the Oda clan by force." A shrug. Maybe it's the times. Maybe it's the caste system he desperately sought to destroy. "If you move out without telling him some of why, he's definitely going to take it hard. I know I wouldn't say a damn word if Hideyoshi wanted to, but I'd be more worried, not less."

“Right! Then it seems less like you trying to do anything regarding another version of yourself. It’s about what will make her happy.” Gokudera won’t mind if Nobunaga also seeks out help from other women.

“Well... to be honest I have no idea. I’m sure I’m not so much mentally, especially with all the time travel I’ve done and what I’ve gone through, but my boss is younger than me, and a pacifist. Also, there’s a great deal of trouble I should handle on my own, since the trouble was started by me, anyways. I need to be responsible for myself. It isn’t that I don’t want help, but there is a limit to how much he can help me.” He says, nodding gently.

“Oh! He already knows I have that in mind. I won’t be far, and I’ll check on him nearly every day!”

May catch-all

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