Catch-All

[konpeito_aji]

🧙 WHO: Oda Nobunaga & YOU
⚔️️ WHAT: April & May Quests, Lulz, ALL THE THINGS
🕒 WHEN: April & May
🗺️ WHERE: EVERYWHERE
⚠️ WARNINGS: Idiocy. Will update as we go



Links as I add them:

April Quests
I would do anything for sugar, but I won't do that (anymore)
Slimebusters!

May Quests

Holo Goodbye
THE DANCE PARTY NEVER ENDS!!! Until it did.

Misc.
It's not a tea party, it's a tea CEREMONY! It's totally a tea party.
Military Meet & Greet
NEW SHOES
18 different jobs, one has to stick!
C is for Cookie, that good enough for me
Let's all play Go!
Bow to your sensei -- aka: learn Horseback riding + others!


Feel free to threadjump! Can switch between bracket spam and/or prose as desired!

Comments

Honey, I shrunk myself getting stung trying to get to the honey...

[konpeito_aji]

Before the bees could be fully evacuated, Oda decided to steal their honey.

On the list of bad ideas throughout his entire life, this was probably the worst. He doesn't regret it. He's the size of normal human's finger, but you know what that means? He can just swim in honey.

So now there's a very sticky, beaming, idiotic, shrunken tiny warlord, trying to convince his falcon to give him a ride before he returns to fully human.

You know what they say? The bigger they are, the harder they fall? He doesn't seem the least bit humble, or to have really learned his lesson though. He might change his mind if people knock some sense into him though. Or just carry him around until he understands how stupid this is. Probably not though.

[damn_kitsune]

So far, during his time in this realm, Mitsuhide had learned that he couldn't leave Nobunaga unchecked for too long. There was a good chance that Oda clan lord would put himself into a sugar induced coma if there wasn't some control over his sugar intake. How did Hideyoshi do it for all those years? It felt like whenever Mitsuhide turned away for one minute, his lord had found some new sweet to consume

So off he went, with Chimaki, his fox, and Sake, his kitsune familiar acting as trackers to find the other warlord. The search didn't last long. He spotted Nobunaga's falcon first. He knew Nobunaga couldn't be too far away. That was when he spotted the now tiny warlord right next to the bird.

"Lord Nobunaga?" Mitsuhide was at almost too shocked to say anything. Almost. "What did you do? Why are you the size of Issun-bōshi and covered in what looks like honey?" Really, how did Hideyoshi ever put up with this?

[konpeito_aji]

THE TEENIEST TINIEST LITTLE VOICE. But he is still flush with the joy of victory!

"I HAVE MET THE BEES AND CONQUERED THEM!"

Have you ever seen a child really joyous about getting in a fight with a pig in mud, and winning, but they're cover in mud? Same thing, but honey instead of mud, and he was shrunk, because magic.

[damn_kitsune]

Mitsuhide could barely hear what Nobunaga was saying. He can already tell getting answers wasn't going to be easy. "Why were you conquering bees, and how did you get so small?" Even he realized how much he sounded like a nagging mother.

....

This really should be Hideyoshi's job, not his!

With a sigh he looked down at the fox and kitsune at his feet. "Chimaki. Sake. Would you two mind helping my lord, since apparently he's covered in honey?" Chimaki was first to act. The smaller albino fox managed to get to the itty bitty warlord first and proceeds to start licking honey off of him. Sake joins shortly after and proceeds to also start licking as well.

[konpeito_aji]

It's going to get a lot harder to get answers, because That fucking tickles!!!

He's rolling around trying not get eaten even as he's getting slobbered on, letting them lick him off, but DAMN IT MITSUHIDE!!! ALL THE GIGGLES! Even worse than Mitsuhide was purposely tickling him!

"Not the ears! Not the ears!"

Tiny warlord trying to protect his ears, but he looks... slightly bigger? Or maybe it's imagination.

"I got stung!"

Nobunaga then gestured wildly towards the communicator. It might be better to try to write it out?

"That's the bees' magic!"

Who you gonna call? [April Quest: hunt slimes, get pie!]

[konpeito_aji]

Pumpkin pie! Pumpkin pie! Pumpkin pie!

Nobunaga barely paid attention to the board request beyond that. Something about slimes, and he had to bring jars and someone who could hold the jar while he stuffed them in there, but anyone and everyone who might be interested he is going to ask if they want to go dungeon crawling with him. They probably don't, he will convince them anyway.

He is an absolutely ferocious Demon King, and the bouncing cheerfully into the slime-infested grossness like a normal child bouncing about going on a picnic, is just because he's going where he's most at home, okay. It's totally because he's focused on the pie.

[blushing_beauty]

Why, oh why was she here? Yes she'd told Nobunaga about pies, and how it was her favorite form of sweet or pastry, but was it really worth fighting creatures that were the literal embodiment of slime? She was gripping her sword, a katana known as a killing edge in her world, and seemed quite nervous about the prospects of fighting.

"Lord Nobunaga? Have you ever fought any slimes before?"

[konpeito_aji]

"Nope!" He's so damn cheery about it! "It'll be fun!" He's practically skipping!"

[blushing_beauty]

That's just gonna cause Olivia to screech to an abrupt halt.

"... Nope? You mean... you don't even know if we have weapons that will even hurt them?" She was okay with trying to stab or slice things, but if it was made of slime, would that even hurt it? How liquid were these things?

Holo rocks

[konpeito_aji]

It is SO NOT ENOUGH to just get a rock! Oda Nobunaga is so moved by the story (however fictional it might be!) that he's determined to try to film the fairies as much as possible on his phone to show the grandmother himself!

He just needs... all the help he can get. He's the DEMON KING, not exactly someone who can get along with dancing fairies. Even if he did bring them some sake, hoping it might help. It might make them worse. And rowdy. And he's bound to be pranked a lot.

He's already sporting pink hair, but he seems in good humor about it! "Like sakura blossoms! Sweet!"

Oh no, he's picking up more modern slang. Oh no.

Party like it's 1582!

[konpeito_aji]

It takes a bit for Mitsuhide and Nobunaga to get the perfect scene together. They have to look the part, even if they start off in their usual 1580s warlord getup. They soon switch to clubbing wear, albeit, suits for middle-aged men, because they are old! They also still have their guns, because never leave home without them!

They're not a fan of the pop music. "What is this noise?"

But as it switches to metal rock, and alternative, they're all in on this! They just have to remember to actually end the party sometime. Whenever Nobunaga runs out of energy.

[damn_kitsune]

Nobunaga really should have let Mitsuhide procure the clothing for this mission. Though he did admit that they both looked good in the suits, they seemed to be suited for a more formal occasion. Not for what appeared to be an informal party like this. This is the reason why Nobunaga would never make a good spy. He doesn't do his research!

Oh well, too late to do anything about it now. The only thing Mitsuhide could do now is loosen the tie and unbutton the top couple buttons of the shirt. At least then he doesn't look so formal, and not standing out quite as much.

Though they were there to end the party eventually, they might as well enjoy it for a sometime. It honestly didn't take long for Mitsuhide to get some alcoholic drink and find a place where he could listen to the music for a bit.

1/2

[konpeito_aji]

Nobunaga pokes Mitsuhide's chest when he sees the tie undone. "Ara ara, already? You --" Oh wait, this was part of the loosening up!

2/2

[konpeito_aji]

OKAY! HE GETS IT!!!!

He pulls his tie up to his head! And leaves it there like a hachimaki. And sparkles. How's he doing, senpai?

[damn_kitsune]

Mitsuhide shook his head some. He really shouldn't be surprised by how his lord was acting.

"You look like you've drank too much, my lord."

Tea Party / Ceremony

[konpeito_aji]

For the most part, the bushido and samurai codes and traditions are all part of a larger obsolete caste system that Nobunaga wants to break. But it's not that he wants people to just use the caffeine from tea like an addiction! The elegance, and ceremony that goes into tea actually DOES matter to the taste of it! And even Mitsuhide knows that! Even if Nobunaga will forever be on the sabi side, and disregard any and all wabi. Obviously.

This is also a cultural exchange, because he wants to see how other worlds do it, and therefore ways to improve the Japanese (or just Nobunaga!) experience!

And obviously the sweets are a big part of it. He has no idea that sweets and tea parties ceremonies have developed a more childish context in some worlds and parts of the future. Feel free to embarrass him greatly. Or at least try. Listen, cookies and sweets and tea are things everyone ever should enjoy! It's set up for the public to take a moment out of the bustle and hustle and CHAOS of planning for or participating in war. That's how zen works. Also talk clothes with him. He clearly is trying different looks, and this is going to get beyond bizarre at some point. Even if he has the good sense to stick towards suits and ties, he's kind of extreme when it comes to color of shirts and wacky ties.

Military Meet & Greet

[konpeito_aji]

None of the generals seemed too comfortable explaining their credentials, which Nobunaga more than understood. A war record spoke for itself, and if anything, being underestimated was always to everyone's advantage. So it was going to take unparalleled bravado, an overly dominant personality, and the kind of reckless stubborn asshole who didn't give a fuck about what it meant to use force to bind a bunch of warmongering uncooperative rulers, most of whom would rather drag each other down than help anyone rise to the top, like crabs in a bucket.

If anything, it took every ounce of his self control not to start barking orders the second one person mentioned it on the network. He suspected history had it wrong, perhaps thinking he wanted power for the sake of power, rather than just got fed up with how pathetic everyone else was, and their disorganized chaos was ruining lives. People who thought he enjoyed war or wanted it, were somehow even more of an idiot than he was, which was saying something, even in his own arrogant opinion. He just had never known peace. Mitsuhide fought to unite Japan to cause peace, however tenuous. But Nobunaga just wanted to see all of the existence he could. Worlds. The greater picture that all the bucket crabs couldn't see from their trapped little prison of self-making. He'd rather not go to war, but he's not about to let someone get harmed just because he was what -- hoping someone else would do his job? Pathetic!

"Everything will be divided into different factions, based on what you want to do! Gunners, swordsmen, archers, cavalry, healers, magic users, information gathering, and even the X factor! That is all the mercenary types who do not work well with others. You are to avoid them at all costs, so you don't get caught up in their own mayhem! Understand this first and foremost! None of you are to sacrifice your life for nothing! The minute you do something like that you will weaken everyone else around you! GOT IT? We are not preparing for a war against the fae, we are trying to keep multiple worlds from being destroyed. NEVER lose sight of that, or I'll kick your ass myself!"

A huff!

But with that, he cheerfully goes about individually figuring out everyone's strengths and weaknesses and how to sort them! And he'll teach anything they want -- to a degree. He knows very very VERY little healing, that was almost completely Ieyasu's department, and he never knew how much he could miss Tokugawa before. In fact if anyone has healing experience, he'll very respectfully defer to their experience and ask them to teach him. And he'll even be a damn good student. He's naturally, deadly serious about this, despite all the bravado and ridiculous persona.

Put on your dancing and fighting and tree-climbing and stylish shoes

[konpeito_aji]

Modern clothes are fascinating. Even more than European clothes! But the boots are the first thing that has to be obtained! Geta made the most sense in Japanese streets and buildings, where you took them off before even fully entering. HERE, it was becoming quickly apparent his geta were a HUGE hindrance!

Nobunaga is in love with how shoes aren't even made to order, they're made in advance and there's so many options! But maybe too many options? He loves the eccentric over the top artistic options but practicality first! "I need something that can be worn dancing, fighting, fencing, hunting, horseback riding, in war, but also to tea!" Dare you help the lost Demon King? "And make it look cool!" Yeah, that's impossible.

He's also busy distracted with high tech options, just because they exist.

ALL the job attempts!

[konpeito_aji]

Nobunaga has expensive tastes, part of growing up relatively noble (albeit in the poorest province until he made it the richest, and mostly ostracized from noble society for being a trainwreck of a person, and other political problems, but still!) and the rest of it just his over the top hedonistic Demon King of the 6th Heaven personality. But he had wanted such luxuries to be enjoyed by all of Japan, not just the nobility and warriors! If anything, it was probably the biggest reason he'd been so deadset on breaking the castes rigidity! One of the biggest "eccentricities" that had ostracized the Fool of Owari from most nobles was Oda's over the top enthusiasm for arts, crafts, and people who put passion into their work and enjoyment of life. It was considered the exact opposite of cool at the time. Even worse was how he befriended and spent his time with traveling merchants whom society generally regarded poorly!

So this "jobs" thing isn't just to pay for all the constant sugar highs, clothes, and absolute exploration of everything Camelot had to offer him -- part of trying the jobs was the exploration itself!

It probably came as no surprise, however, that there were a lot of things he enthusiastically jumped into trying and didn't last very long at! Customer service was the worst. "You're too stupid to operate this product, return it before you burn your house and the entire city down." Stubbornly defending his point as true, didn't help either.

The library kicked him out when he hadn't even been applying for a job, just using it and got a little loud at certain parts of history! The bookshop was much the same too!

The cafe didn't last past his admonishments of how hot chocolate sucks, cookies were better uses of chocolate, and tea was an art that they were ruining, by the way. And another restaurant job didn't last long past his cheerful chatting with the customers instead of tending other tables.

At least even Nobunaga knew to avoid the candy shop. He would fail that test before he could get out the door, and he knew it.

At least fishing he could do! But he got in a bit of a fight with others about sashimi, and to smooth things over, agreed to no longer sell on the fish market.

The future world was less deadly than the Sengoku era, but it was still very hard, and his respect for everyone remains high! Catch him anywhere, trying anything and everything; except as a performer or gambling. It would take a lot more for him to reach that point.

"Not even professional sports?!" Well, they are in the middle of an existential crisis, that is a large luxury, but at the same time, so was his era! He could always start it himself, but that'd be complicated. And if he can't do that AND start the army from scratch. Maybe after that point? Or among the soldiers?

Cookie Monster

[konpeito_aji]

No, he really shouldn't eat all the cookies.

Is he going to? Yeah, he's definitely going to try!

Nobunaga is a grown-ass ruthless murdering genocidal warlord, climbing trees, and eating cookies, watching others harvest them like normal people with normal lives. But Oda, being special, has to try one of every kind. And boy does he. He has to avoid wasps, because he doesn't want to be shrunken again! But that's not going to stop him from climbing trees like a little kid!

His oni Kimon helps sometimes, lifting him up when he gets more lethargic towards the end, and helping reach the pieces he cannot -- AND is nice enough to WARN HIM when certain other warlords might see and try to stop him! Fufufufu.

Although this may prove to be a double edged sword, because by the end, Nobunaga has never eaten so much food (even sugar!!!) in his life, and he definitely does not feel good. Kimon might have been trying to teach him a lesson to get it out of his system. Whether it will work, remains to be seen. By the time everyone lines up to have their cookies counted, Nobunaga finally realizes they weren't giving the cookies away as bribes to the fairies, the fairies just wanted to watch the competition. So all that FOMO (fear of missing out!) was pointless! Well, fuck him very much.

Name a cookie type though, and he's tried it!

Raisins suck. Chocolate is way better as cookie fuel, peanutbutter is amazing. But nothing will ever compare to the purity of konpeito. Even confetti cookies!

He also keeps practicing infusing magic to the cookies. This will let him eat even more. That might not be a good thing?

He also is doubling (quintupling???) down on the Demon King of 6th Heaven thing, and the minute anyone seems the LEAST BIT HESITANT about enjoying the delicious sugary treats, he will take on his Demon King/Satanic role and try to seduce them into eating with him. Cookies are a treat best shared! Someone should tell him about pocky. Or maybe it's better for the world that he never knows.

Let's all play Go! (or cards or monopoly or dominoes or...)

[konpeito_aji]

Nobunaga LOVES Go. Does this surprise anyone? It shouldn't. His style is brazen, harsh, unforgiving, ruthless, daring, and bold just like the rest of him. He's basically a master though since between this and actually studying war, he's been doing this practically since he was born. He loves teaching though! That really puts him in his element, but he will never go easy on anyone! Take heart, this means he respects you enough not to condescend, ever. On the other hand, maybe it's just his paranoia. Everyone is always a potential threat!

He didn't take his board with him to the Red Spring this time, but otherwise, you can often find him set up and trying to entice people to play! Even if he has to teach. You might be wondering how the fuck one person can have this much time on their hands, and that'd be a damn good question! Nobunaga himself doesn't know the answer to that. Except that usually, he doesn't. So this too is another opportunity he will not waste!

If you really don't want to lose though, feel free to completely destroy him in cards. He's AWFUL at it! He clearly has never learned to guard his face, he's like a complete child with all his emotions exposed and on his sleeve, and whether it's Old Maid, Poker, BS, or any kind of other game, he just cannot win except when it's based purely on luck. So War. SOMEHOW he always wins at War. Maybe it's the name. "No, it's because I charm the cards onto my side." That makes no sense and everyone should know it!

Nobunaga doesn't have hanafuda, or mahjong, but he knows how to play! And he's eager to learn anything. Connect 4 is enough like Go he will do it fine, Jenga is pretty much his entire relationships with people put into wooden blocks, Monopoly makes him laugh uncontrollably (be wary of those stares!) and do you really have the time to indulge him that long?! (he might even read in between turns! SO RUDE THIS GUY!) But he will not play chess (it bores him, though he'll quickly offer to teach Go and Shogi!), Parcheesi or Sorry (on principle!), or Twister. Look that last one is obviously a trap to get him into an uncompromising position and post photos to the internet and take his head.

Dare you come play with the Demon King?

Teaching Horseback Riding + Archery + Sword

[konpeito_aji]

Have you ever needed to ride a horse, but modern era doesn't use horses anymore?

Nobunaga has you covered!

Swordfighting or using a bow? No problem!

The warlord has been horseback riding with his father since he was an infant. He's been wielding a sword since he was strong enough to hold one and still stand. He's been shooting a bow since he was a child and had to hunt, or just for fun!

He can even show you how to do any of it from a horse. Ooooohhhh!

Sengoku era lessons, taught by a warlord near you!

[enchantressofore]

If there was a skill Adela was lacking that might be useful in the world, it would be horseback riding. Maybe she could try to eventually learn archery or swordplay off of the back of a horse, but for the moment the issue was getting comfortable in the saddle.

Adela, feeling much smaller than normal, was uncomfortable in her saddle as she tried to remain centered on the horse's back. Nevermind that she wasn't sure her sword would even be long enough to do much of anything from up there, she just had to make sure she would stay on first!

Rather than letting her (very obvious) discomfort show, Adela just tried to look over the saddle she was sitting on, as if looking for an appropriate place to grip that wasn't the reins. Apparently, this one wasn't too keen on actually asking for help after she'd been shown how once...

[konpeito_aji]

"Relax," Nobunaga ordered. Because orders fix everything! He tried to remember what Mitsuhide told him about teaching in this world. A lot gentler. Not so much going easy on students, just that shame didn't work as well as pride. A stance Nobunaga can easily get behind. Okay!

"You don't hold on with your hands. You hold on with your knees." He effortless moved his own horse closer and nudged Adela's knees into proper position with light taps to the soles of her boots.

Now, how does he tell her not to be nervous? "Mares are really docile! They're happier to be led and protected. So don't be ashamed to soothe them. They can get scared easily, but not if they know you're in control of the situation and won't let them come to any harm, got it?"

[enchantressofore]

Relax. Right. How was she supposed to do that when she was so high up in the air and--

Immediately she tensed up at the touch, frowning a little at where his foot at been. It wasn't... That big of a deal, but still. It made her try to adjust her other leg in a similar way, but she still couldn't bring herself to loosen up after that.

"I understand," Adela was speaking stiffly when she said it, hesitantly moving her hands to the reins as she looked over the horse. She did, really, but at the same time it wasn't enough for her to calm down entirely. Was it too much just to hope that this would be simple?