I'm never as tired

[leitstern]

🧙 WHO: Hendrik and Jasper
⚔️️ WHAT: Waking moments
🕒 WHEN: Post-event
🗺️ WHERE: Camelot
⚠️ WARNINGS: Nothing yet

[Jasper opens his eyes and nervously worries his lips about the flower on the bedside table. A spray of clemantis, with dark green leaves and a single star-shaped flower. He had not possessed it before awakening from that nightmare. Dressed in night clothes multiple sizes large, laid beneath a duvet in bed. Looking past the twig to the window reminding him, in fact, of not awakening at home at all. Beside him a thin candle offers light and comfort.

Breathe. He inhales through his mouth, filling his lungs for the first time in days. The last thing he remembers is awakening in that pond. The last thing he wants to remember is how he arrived here. Borne in Hendrik's arms or drowsing against his shoulder? Thoughts crawl in his attempt to relive the moment. His chest heaves and begins to sink and swell. It feels wrong and he cannot understand why.

He lies in silent for several minutes until exhaling angrily. The candle flickers and illumiates, air fuelling the flame. Feet slip outside the sheets and alight on a cold floor. Never before has he so badly lost his sense of balance and he teeters forward - stepping on a sleeping platypunk's tail. With its quack ringing his ears he groans and grumbles, hands rubbing against his forehead. Stomach bubbling as the accursed creature disappears in a flash to its master. One hand rubbing his eye moves to support his back, urging him to return to bed. To the stairs. To the door.

Fatigue dries his eyes as begins pacing back and forth, trapped between his desire to flee and a need to stay, stopping only when his path carries him past the window. It is startingly late, the sunset visible over rooftops and across the backstreets. He looks down at the yard and sees Hendrik working in his garden.

There is a flicker of emotion in his heart. Pride? He cannot know for certain.]

Comments

[standvastig]

[It surprises him that a response comes as quickly as it does. He stares at the explanation uncomprehendingly, taking a seat at his small kitchen table for lack of other places to sit down at the moment.

Why would Jasper owe him anything for such a small feat? Certainly, there was embarrassment on his side, but that was not something communicated to Jasper.

And yet there is a part of him that does not want to dismiss this owing of gratitude. That acknowledges that there is probably some other reason why he mentions it at all.]

I hardly did anything anyone else would have done.

[leitstern]

[Jasper seems reluctant to answer for a while. Hendrik is being evasive, humble towards his own involvement in dragging him out of that mess. What answer might he expect upon claiming this was the same for anyone else?

He finds it hard to believe his old friend is ignorant to his hand in this affair.]

It should not have mattered were it anyone else.

[standvastig]

[Hendrik frowns at the reply that comes his way, unsure how to take it. He could be offended -- that Jasper was so cold that he would not help anyone else in the same situation. But he resists.

He doesn't know why he resists.]

What are you saying, Jasper? You should not owe me anything. I do not know what to do with your gratitude.

[leitstern]

[The message reads of one man uncertain of another. Unable to distinguish between his friend and foe, asking for direction and guidance.

This is not a question, but...]

Upon my word, why ask me what ought be done with it? Plant a tree in the garden or feed that beast of yours. Life goes on, Hendrik.

[standvastig]

[Still frowning to himself, Hendrik stares at the message with the same unsure feeling as the last one. Why bring up gratitude at all if he is supposed to set it aside? It makes little sense to him, unfortunately.]

Very well. Then we will leave it at that for now.

[He is somehow disappointed. Somehow saddened by his own words. The feeling drives him to send another message.]

Breakfast is at 8.