isleofavalon | [OPEN] | MARCH CATCH ALL & QUESTS

Entry tags:

[OPEN] | MARCH CATCH ALL & QUESTS | ICHIBAN

🧙 WHO: Ichiban & You
⚔️️ WHAT: March catch-all and open quests
🕒 WHEN: March.
🗺️ WHERE: Around
⚠️ WARNINGS: N/A

Assistance Quest: Sir Fuzzlerton the Cad

[ This is exactly like a Yakuza mini-game. Ichiban has been prepared to search through a bunch of seemingly identical objects in order to carefully pick out the one unique item he's looking for.

You will find him with his face smushed onto the windows of various Bunny Cafe's, much to the horror of everyone inside. Ichiban, could you please control yourself and act normal? When one of the cafe waitresses comes outside to awkwardly ask him if he could... stop? He excitedly explains to her about his mission. ]

So he apparently has a little black patch of fur above his lip and a scar on his front right foot!

[ The waitress shakes her head, and asks him again to leave. Please. Go away.

Ichiban stands in the street, scratching his beard and trying to think of a better way to get a look at these bunnies. His familiar, a red shiba inu, barks a suggestion at him. ]

Huh? Turn myself into a rabbit?

Combat Quest: Run Snagglefoot Run

[ There's a commotion at the Red Spring Inn. Specifically, a small thief is being chased by an idiot with a blown out perm and an ugly red suit. Chasing down thieves is also a pre-existing Yakuza mini-game. Ichiban leaps deftly over a fence, swooping to pick up a discarded empty bottle and whipping it at the thief's head. Snagglefoot stumbles and trips in surprise, falling flat onto his face.

Ichiban is on him then, ]

The gig's up, Snagglefoot! Give up the jewels, or I'll take them from you the hard way!

[ With the thief's shirt in one hand and the other reeled back threateningly in a fist. Wow! He actually sounds like a yakuza for once. Good job, Ichi. ]

Assistance Quest: Farmers-R-Us

[ Hey! Guess what's also a Yakuza 7 mini-game? Gardening. Ichiban enthusiastically volunteers to assist. He also just as enthusiastically tries to befriend literally everyone else who treks up to the farm with him that day. Is it because he's so busy yapping that he stirs up that nest of faeries? The world will never know.

What matters is that the little purple creatures are pissed. Ichiban stops abruptly in the middle of his banter, his mouth open in shock. ]

Oh crap!

Wildcard

[ Anything you want, genuinely. Hit up my march cr meme comment if you want to plan something! ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Why did all the shit happen only when he was trying to relax?? He had all the luck of a random yakuza game npc that was always getting extorted by roaming groups of thugs.

This time it was some gigantic idiot busting into where he was peacefully TRYING TO LEAVE and causing a thief to slam directly into him. Doppo was laying groaning on the ground as Ichiban picked up the guy and threatened him. Have some courtesy dude!

It didn't however hurt enough that he couldn't sit up and yell at the rude bastards who are disturbing him.]

What the fuck are you doing?!

Edited 2021-03-08 21:50 (UTC)

Eh?

[ Both Ichi and the thief's heads turn at the admonishment. Looks of shock on their faces. ]

I've been chasing this guy all over the damn countryside!

[ Ichi puts a finger into the thief's chest. ]

He jacked some fancy jewelry from a shop all the way back in town.

[ No, no, no. I would never. Snagglefoot appeals to Doppo's kind heart to please save him from this brute!! You're hurting me, you know! ]

Edited 2021-03-09 09:13 (UTC)

[Everyone had to snap at some point, and right now Doppo was just not having this shit. Couldn't he rest for one goddamn moment??!

Only he did at least recognize the human in this situation; it was that large kind of violent guy who nonetheless did help him out with the whole not being murdered thing.]

It's always idiots like you who come bursting in here when I'm just trying to take a break, enjoy myself for once in my goddamn life. What did I do to deserve this, huh?!

I don't care what crimes you are committing, just leave me the fuck out of it!!

[He was like 3 seconds away from pulling out his mic and teaching these idiots a lesson.]

[ Yikes! This is getting scary! Ichiban clutches Snagglefoot to his chest like a scared child clutching a teddy bear. What'd you do to this guy?! Ichi kicks with his feet, scooting away from Doppo nervously. ]

Uh! Sorry, man! Don't even worry about it! No big deal! Everything's fine!

[ When did this guy get so scary?! ]

[Honestly it was the fact that Ichiban had helped him before that was holding Doppo back from going further than drawing the mic out of his suit jacket.]

You only apologize after the fact? Do you ever think about how your actions affect other people, huh? Barging in and ruining everyone's lives?? Stealing something that's precious to another person?! I really should teach you a lesson on common courtesy!!

[ Ichiban is crushing Snagglefoot against his chest. Doppo is lecturing him. The thief squirms, his arm flapping awkwardly as he tries to pry his way out of Ichi's hold with little success. So he just wails out pathetically instead,

Help! Somebody save me from these weirdos!

Ichiban shushes him in a panic. Don't just make him angrier, Snagglefoot! ]

Yes. Yep, we're very sorry. We're very sorry, right Snaggles?

[Well, Ichiban seemed pretty contrite, though it was mostly the fact that he had helped Doppo out before that got him in his good graces. He was pissed off, yeah, but Doppo didn't like to think he was as terrible as a person as his boss.

He backed off a bit.]

Ugh. Fine, whatever. You really should be more goddamn careful about what you run into. I'm just trying to exist here, that's hard enough already.

And YOU-

[Doppo pointed his microphone at Snagglefoot, clutched tenderly in Ichiban's arms-]

What the hell is your problem? You're stealing from people? Figure out something else to do with your life, why don't you!

[ Snaggles finally gets his other arm free, smashing his elbow into Ichiban's chin. Ichiban sees stars for a moment, arms loosening in surprise. Snagglefoot kicks and thrashes the rest of the way free, picking himself up off his knees with a weary look that becomes anger.

Where do you get off lecturing me?!

Ichiban calls out dizzily, ]

No, Snaggles, no!

[Lecturing him, huh? He could do a whole hell of a lot more than lecturing. Ichiban was going to get a straight up show as Doppo activated his mic again, this time the screens flickering and showing the Maternou logo fully-since his voice worked.]

as a slave to corporate thievery
to the thousands of masses who preach their heresy
digusting-ungrateful-its highway robbery
get out with your pointless snobbery

their unrelenting sympathy
it means nothing to me
Haha, a lecture?
I'm not a teacher
You won't find me preaching

Don't make me laugh
a hungry vulture is just a grab for cash
if you thought you could win
I'll make it so DOPPO is the one to do you in!!!

[There was none of the flashy effects and explosive power that Doppo usually got out of his raps, but it did enough damage. The beat went straight for the nervous system, causing Snagglefoot to most likely collapse on the ground and maybe even feel a little nauseous.

It took a moment for Doppo to realize what he'd done, though. They were okay...weren't they?]

[ Yipe! Ichiban wasn't expecting that to happen, but he sure was expecting Doppo to snap somehow. That aura had been unmistakeable, Ichi has seen it before in other yakuza. ]

Uh, Snaggles? Buddy? You think you're ready to hand over the jewelry now?

[ The thief holds them out wearily with his face in the dirt. ]

Thanks.

[ Ichiban glances at Doppo next, smiling nervously. ]

Nice work?

[The rap had let all his rage out, but now he wasn't sure what to do. The thief had given whatever he stole back and now it seemed like Ichiban was treading around him carefully, like he was going to explode any minute.

....well, most of the time he wouldn't be wrong but that was his exploding! Just be lucky he couldn't go full savage.]

Ah....I'm sorry. We're still not entirely sure how well hypnosis mics work in this place. Are you okay?

Hypnosis mic?

[ The look on Ichi's face is one of total stupidity. He has no idea what you're talking about, but clearly wants to know because it was cool. ]

Yeah, totally missed me.

[ That's what that jerkass thief gets for elbowing him in the face like that?? ]

Oh, um...this.

[He holds out the mic for Ichiban to see; now that it was back in its base state, it looked pretty normal for a microphone. He had calmed down to his normal meek state as well, so there went looking the other guy in the eye.]

T-that's good...when you rap with them, they can affect your nervous system. I-It's a lot less flashy than it is where I'm from, though....

Yahoo! Hello again!

[Here is Venti sitting on an old wooden wagon used in farming and doing precisely zero farming. But watching the poor man suddenly kick up a horde of purple fairies! Oh no!]

Do you need a hand?

[... Well, obviously he does!!]

[ Ichi makes a noise that definitely sounds like eek! He scurries away from the growing swarm with his head tucked between his shoulders. Angry pixies are already trailing after him, throwing little stinging thorns at him. ]

Now would be a really good time for that wind spell!

[ Too bad, Ichi, nobody has it. ]

Oh... About that...

[Sorry wholesome man friend... He doesn't quite have that windy ability anymore!]

That was only a temporary clause, I'm afraid! Still- You could try finding cover!

Ah, shit!

[ He does manage to dodge behind a tree trunk, briefly, and a few of the stingers sent his way miss. But it doesn't last for long, the pixies swarm all over the tree and dive bomb him from above. Ichi makes a similar high pitched noise of surprise and increasingly pain as he sprints hard across the field. ]

Doesn't this farm have some pixie repellant or something?!

They aren't like insects! That would be much too easy!

[That just won't do-! Most of the time Venti might let most people escape on their own but the scene before him just makes him feel a little ...bad.

He quickly hops off the wagon he was lounging on and waves at Kasuga to come to him. He has an idea.]

Come my way, quickly!

Edited 2021-03-14 20:03 (UTC)

Yipe!

[ Ichiban yelps as one of the stingers comes perilously close to his eyes, flinching. He ducks, covering his head with his hands and making a beeline for Venti. ]

Where are you going?!

[Oh- Ichiban...!]

Come, quickly! And promptly- duck your head!

[With a flick of his wrist Venti is using a flash on kinetic magic to suddenly pick up and hurl a pile of dirt, straw and hay right at the cloud of stinging pixies! It whooshes up and swirls around the pixies and then flings them away!

... He might not have his anemo powers anymore- but he making due.]

Now run! To the barn! Let's make it quick!

Nice save!

[ Ichi wails his approval as he keeps his hands over his head, trying to make himself as small of a target as possible while still running. And boy does he run like he's going to die. He might, those stings are itchy! No time to scratch though, he heaves the barn door open with desperate strength. ]

[It's a good thing the man is quick and heavy-headed. Venti is fast on his own feet to following Ichiban right into the barn.]

Shut the door, if you could!

[He huffs and stops, patting his chest for any stray pixies in his clothing.]

Are you alright?

[ Oh he sure can! He pushes hard, digging his feet in and giving a grunt of effort. The door swings back closed. Then he sits down with his back to the door, breathing heavily. ]

I thought pixies were supposed to be cute!

[ A groan. ]

Damn that itches...

Actually, most spirits and pixies are spiteful little things... I wouldn't find many cute.

[He huffs and pats his hair in order before looking to Ichiban and sighing. He reaches out to pluck some stray straw or grass off the man.]

You've got stings all over you. But you're all in one piece.

I guess that one in Peter Pan was kind of a jerk.

[ He exhales this distractedly. ]

Man, you totally saved my ass, Venti!

Better to give them a wide berth.

[He sighs!]

It's nothing, I couldn't just stand there and watch you get stung in your ass, after all.

You totally could have. [ He tosses a wink. ] Guess that means you're a pretty good guy though.

[ He fans his shirt a little. ]

Are they gonna disperse, you think? Or are they just waiting out there?

[ Even worse, trying to find a way inside... ]

[Venti lets out a giggle.]

My reputation precedes me!

[But as for the poor gaggle of angry pixies outside...]

Hmm. We might be waiting some time if we're going to outlast their tantrum. If you have anything shiny to give up to them as a gift it might placate them enough for us to escape.

[ There certainly is a commotion at Red Spring Inn! That bastard stole his choker! Crow was running up and down the halls to try to nab the thief himself, but it seems Ichiban is on the pursuit. The redhead manages to catch a glimpse of the pair as they run outside of the inn. He runs after them with his guitar in tow.

Somehow, Ichiban manages to catch the thief, holding him up by his shirt as he prepares to punch him.]

Let me at that 'im first!

[ He charges into the fray prepare to beat Snagglefoot silly, except Crow ends up tripping on a rock and barrelling into Ichiban. Hopefully, it doesn't knock the wannabe yakuza off balance, so Snagglefoot could get away.]

Oof!

[ Unexpected blow from behind! Ichi loses his own footing and almost goes tumbling. He manages to catch himself on a fence post. He turns to attend to Crow with concern, offering him a sturdy hand back up.

It is belatedly that he notices he's lost sight of the thief. ]

Shit! Where'd that bastard get to now...

Edited 2021-03-09 09:18 (UTC)

[ Crow goes down seeing stars, but he's able to shake it off. He might be small, but he can certainly take a beating. Though through the dizziness, he sees Ichi's hand and grasps it to pull himself up.

He breathes a 'thanks' as his vision starts to clear. Even the vocalist realizes that Snagglefoot used the commotion to escape.]

Damn! That's on me! I'll help you find him!

[That bastard has his precious choker after all! He readjusts the guitar on his back and climbs onto the fence post to try to spot the thief from a higher vantage point. He spots the fleeting back of their runaway! He points him out to Ichiban.]

He's over there!

Nice!

[ He starts to bounce on the balls of his feet, getting ready to take off back into a run. ]

Let's get him from both sides! He's trying to hit the stables for a getaway mare, we can stop him!

[ Ichi takes off then, barreling after this slippery customer. Snagglefoot isn't getting away from him! He promised that nice jewelry store owner he'd rescue their precious wares!!!

As he gets closer in range, Ichiban fans out to the left. They're going to use the power of teamwork to wallop this guy, right? ]

Way ahead of you!

[Crow doesn't have to be told twice. He jumps down from the post and starts sprinting after the thief. His red eyes zeroing in on the bandit's back as he pumps his arms and legs to gain more speed. He's easily able to keep up with a big guy like Ichiban.

While the yakuza takes the left, Crow takes the right. The redhead's tongue sticks out like a rabid dog as they close on the slippery fiend. Wallop? It's going to be an apocalyptic collision! Crow grips the neck of his guitar and swings it towards the scoundrel in unison with Ichiban's blow.]

Crimson Hellfire Chaotic Barrage!

[Oh yeah, Crow has a thing for wacky attack names that he thinks is cool!]

Hell yeah!

[ Wacky attack names u say... Ichi is satisfied with Crow's good work on this particular tag team title. All he has to do is come in with the fucking drop kick.

Snagglefoot makes a particularly high pitched noise of pain and surprise, his arm reaching out for the help of a savior that isn't' coming before he crumples to the ground. Ichiban puts a foot on the slippery thief's back, hands on his hips as he gazes down. ]

You shouldn't have run, Snagglefoot.

[ Yes, bro! You understand his aesthetic completely. Although Ichiban's attack names sound similar to his bandmate, Yaiba, who tends to use 'Legend of...' a lot.

He's impressed when Ichiban comes in with his dropkick, and it's no surprise that Snagglefoot isn't getting up from that. He watches as the yakuza subdues the bandit by pressing his foot into his back. Crow glares down at him as holsters his guitar onto his back and crosses his arms over his chest.]

Tell me what you did with my choker, bastard!

[That's the main reason, Crow is here and to kick ass, of course. The thief denies taking the singer's choker as he squirms underneath Ichiban's foot.]

Liar! Where did you stash the loot?

[ Loot? What loot?

This guy! Ichiban bends down and picks Snaggles up by the back of his shirt, hefting him up to eye level. ]

Crow. Pat him down.

[ Ichiban keeps cold hard eye contact with this Mister Snagglefoot (if that's who you really are!) Look how stern and commanding Ichiban can be when he isn't actively being a dipshit?! ]

[While Ichiban has a good hold on deviant, Crow starts doing the pat-down. He comes up empty. So he does another thorough examination, but he doesn't feel any stashed away jewels or paraphernalia. What?!

He turns to Ichiban in shock.]

He doesn't have anything on him!

[Not even his precious choker! Where could it be?]

[ Ichiban shakes the thief up and down vigorously, just in case anything falls out from a secret compartment or something. Snagglefoot complains about that dizzily, until he's instead complaining in pain about being smashed into the wooden siding of the stable. ]

Alright, Snaggles. Every time you lie to me you're gonna get hit. So where's the jewelry?

[ I told ya! I didn't steal shit!

That's lie number one, Ichi raises his fist. This has suddenly become serious yakuza business huh. ]

[ As Ichiban goes to punch Snagglefoot, Crow jumps up wrapping his arms around the Yakuza's arm. His legs are dangling off the ground, but that doesn't seem important at the moment. He throws a glare towards Ichi!]

HEY! Chill out for a sec!

[That's not how they solve problems! Crow's no stranger to a fight, but he doesn't think this will encourage the thief to talk. And what if he's innocent?!

While Ichiban has a hold on Snagglefoot, Crow decides to interrogate him instead.]

Are you Snagglefoot or what? There's a warrant for your arrest if you are! We'll hand you over to the authorities if you don't cooperate. And if you do, we'll let you go if you tell us where my choker is....and oh yeah, the jewels! Deal?

[ I ain't no Snagglefoot. Who hell is that guy? And what kind of name is Snagglefoot, anyway?! I was just mindin' my own business, when you decided to chase me!

Well, shit! Did they get the wrong guy?!]

If this is not Snagglefoot Miffen, then where the hell is he?

[ Getting a horse ready in the stables. The horse bursts energetically from the barn as the thief kicks it into a gallop abruptly.

Later suckers! ]

[Damn you, Snaggles!

Crow's mouth drop as he watches the thief gallop away before he snaps out of it! They can still catch up! Crow dashes into the stables to see if there's another horse, and there is! Time to use those skills he learned on the farm! He quickly vaults onto the steed, races up to Ichi.]

Get on!

[He pulls on the reigns off the horse to make him stop. At least, he's an obedient horse. Once, Ichiban is on, Crow motions the horse to bolt. Chasing after that slippery deviant.]

Whoa! You can ride a horse?

[ Ichiban sounds genuinely impressed but then a light bulb goes off: ]

I can talk to horses! [ He scrambles up behind Crow clumsily. ] Get me over there and I'll tell that mare to slow her roll!

[ Animal magic, man. ]

Can't herd cattle without knowing how!

[Sometimes, the cows can get a little sneaky and slip from the crowd. It was one of Crow's jobs to steer the cattle back into the barn before nightfall. He forgets all about Ichiban having animal magic, but it's a great idea!

He urges their horse to gallop faster. They start to close in on Snagglefoot. It isn't long before they are close enough to reach him, but the thief's horse still has a headstart. It's time to close the gap! He signals towards the yakuza as he steadies their pace.]

You're up!

[ He definitely needs to tell Crow how cool it is that he's a cowboy. Maybe later, right now he's trying not to fall off this horse as they go galloping after their errant thief. He's also trying to focus. He needs to actually command the creature, not just talk to it. Peanut showed him how to do this shit! Just focus, Ichi. ]

Slow up! Turn around!

[The cowboy rockstar, it has a nice ring to it, but Crow never saw himself as one.

He keeps the horse steady as Ichi calls out to the horse, trying to make him slow down. Crow watches the horse's mannerisms, it seems to hear Ichiban, though it seems to be having an inner struggle of whether to listen to the yakuza or the thief holding the reins.]

Keep at it! I think it's working, but you've gotta be more persuasive!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[OPEN] | MARCH CATCH ALL & QUESTS | ICHIBAN

Run Snagglefoot

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the fact he thinks doppos scary is SENDING ME

menacing aura!!!!

dfdsljk

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sorry its so late....i had to write a rap so ive been procrastinating.......

lol np

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farmers-r-us

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Run Snagglefoot Run

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