isleofavalon | It's so stimulating being your hat.

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It's so stimulating being your hat.

🧙 WHO: Aziraphale, Crowley, and Alec.
⚔️️ WHAT: 🌌🗡️ The Libryrinth, part 1. - In which the Angel goes exploring and gets himself into a tight spot.
🕒 WHEN: Idk February
🗺️ WHERE: The LIBRARY
⚠️ WARNINGS: Alec will probably say the F word at least once. Crowley might too. The Angel might kiss the demon. They're terribly ill-prepared for a battle and incredibly incompetent, but they're living their best lives and living out not-so-secret hero and damsel-in-distress fantasies. You've been warned.

"I shouldn't be gone long, but if I'm not back by...say, midnight, I suppose you'd best let Crowley know."

It was now only half 'til ten. The angel had been gone since nine, with his notes and his ridiculous thrill at playing sleuth. He was intelligent, so whatever puzzle he had in mind to solve, Lamassu expected Aziraphale to have solved it by now. Which meant he had probably gotten himself in over his head and, since he rarely practiced his magic, he was likely very defenseless. There was nothing for it. Lamassu couldn't very well go in after him; They would alert the Librarian. Lamassu were regal guards. They did not enter establishments unlawfully. Nor had They been designed for stealth and lurking or breaking curfew. (For that matter, neither had the Angel...)

So someone would have to alert the Demon.

Well, it certainly wasn't going to be Lamassu. Then someone might get ideas about Them being being a messenger service. Or worse, concerned. So They went to the being most suited for the task...

"We were hoping you might bring this matter to the attention of your human counterpart and the Demon Crowley," Lamassu finished explaining drolly to the grim whippet, "in the hope that they might rescue Our counterpart from the Library. We highly suggest you encourage them to bring a snack and perhaps a light sweater for the Principality. He was...ill-prepared."

They turned to go.

"Oh. And We suggest they exercise prudence. Do not allow them to be disruptive. We know this will be difficult for creatures of their nature. But the Librarian does not take kindly to intruders."

---

The librarian passed by underneath and he held his breath, stilled his motion and waited. She continued on, her candle lantern flickering into the distance once again along the circuit of her patrol. With her out of earshot, Aziraphale drew an arrow in chalk at the split between path options (this was definitely not his first labyrinth and likely wouldn't be his last), doodled the path and the odd markings into his notes, and carefully continued along the tops of the shelves.

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The Grim cocked her head to the side as Lamassu left. Then bounded through the walls to find the resident demon and tackled him in the face, giving him chilling ghostly licks and knocking off his sunglasses.

It never failed. You take a moment to sneak away and try to eat a piece of bacon in peace and the bloody dog floats through the wall to attack your face.

"Uggggghhhh!! Scram! Go eat Alec! You're his pet anyway!!"

She's a familiar. How badly could she do, really? In any case, Lamassu had washed Their ...paws of it... They just had to have faith in her abilities. After all, she had managed before, hadn't she?

No, that had actually been a phone call.

SIGH. The three bumbling buffoons were going to get themselves killed without supervision one of these days. Perhaps Lamassu should go back. Or go deliver the message to the Other One, since the grim had clearly gone to find the Demon.

Which is why a very irritated Lamassu found Themselves knocking on Alec's door, sitting back on Their haunches, and with a great sigh, silently hoped Alec wasn't even home. It would serve all of them right.

She also stole that bacon and doesn't go away. She may have even be distracted by the bacon and watch Crowley, her whole butt shaking as if asking for more.

In the meantime, Alec peeled himself up from where he was taking a nap and blearily went to answer the door, sipping a cup of strong tea.

He stared at Lamassu and said:

"No."

And shut the door.

Crowley lunged at the dog but of course being made mostly of ghostly smoke he passed harmlessly through the creature to land in a heap on the floor. So with that failure destined to never be mentioned to a living soul... he summoned up a small wind storm, attempting to blow the beasty out of his house.

"We have done our part, then. When he gets himself and the Demon killed, it will be no skin off our proverbial back. Good night, Alec Hardy."

They waited.

That makes him open the door and he gives Lamassu a bland look. "What kind of familiar are you if you can't even keep him safe?" He shook his head, sighing and pulling his jacket on, sipping his tea.

"Not much point to you is there." He hated this place. "Where am I going?"

The grim meanwhile is blown through the wall but comes back as hard as she was blown and slams her semi corporeal form happily into Crowley's gut. Play????

Sure play. If it having the wind knocked out of your lungs and dropping to your knees on the ground counts as playing. Hint - It did not.

"What... in Heaven's bloody name... do you want?"

He managed to utter between deep gasps of air meant to recover all that which had just been forced out of him.

"We are not his keeper. That is the role you and the Demon Crowley have accepted, for reasons We do not understand." That, and Aziraphale had specifically not wanted Lamassu along. Something about being noticed. And climbing. Lamassu hated climbing, so they were grateful to be left out.

Lamassu did not yet move out of the way to allow Alec past. If there was one thing Lamassu were good at, it was guarding entrances, though usually it was to keep people out, not in.

"You are going to retrieve the Demon Crowley, since your familiar cannot be relied upon to do that for us. Then, you are to go retrieve the Principality from the Library. He went there to secretly investigate. We suspect he has been caught in the act of breaking in."

And then, lest Alec consider going to get Aziraphale alone:

"We highly suggest you bring the Demon with you. Unlawful deeds are more his domain, but leaving the Demon to the task alone concerns us. Together they are--" A sigh. "--less than competent."

He hummed, too tired to make much comment right away as he absorbed everything he was being told. Fortunately he was used to working on little or no sleep with his synapses fuzzy around the edges so though his reaction time wasn't the best, it wasn't the worst either.

"That's what family will do to you." He nodded and finished his tea, setting it on the table by the door. "Don't be too hard on them. It's not easy when you've got one brain cell to share." With that and wry smile, he moved around the familiar unless they let him pass and made his way to Anthony's room where he caught a glimpse of the creepy dog thing chewing on his sleeve and ingesting a button before catching sight of Alec and disappearing in a puff of smoke.

Good riddance.

"Come on, Anty. Your boyfriend needs his considerable arse saved again."

And to think, Lamassu had once thought Alec the most competent and responsible of the lot. (Relative to the other two, he was, but that didn't say much.)

It was a good thing the Librarian probably wouldn't kill them this time.

Well, Lamassu had better things to do with their time than see what new methods of bungling quests these three could come up with. Having done what they came to do, the familiar left them to it.

His button... Excuse him while none of what Alec said really registered. His poor button had been devoured and he was never going to get it back. He was so not fishing through that creature's leavings for it!

He growled, low and angry, the words that followed gaining in dangerous volume with each one he spoke.

"Alec, If you don't house train that mutt I'm going to...!"

The fire in his voice faded as the mention of Fell or perhaps his ass, finally sunk in.

"What do you mean save him?"

He yawned.

"Idiot went on the library...quest thing. His familiar told me it was dangerous and told me not to send you alone." He really wouldn't mind taking a nap but--

"I'll let you if you can promise me that you won't go snogging in the stacks." Which was a lie because he knew Anthony would lie.

Mmmm, snogging in the stacks. They could, you know, easily. The added danger of potentially being caught would only add more thrill to the whole rebellious danger of it. They would have to be so very quiet to keep from being found but just how quiet could Aziraphale be if he were startled by a surprise kiss?

Crowley stood, trying not to fuss with the cuff of his sleeve that now hung open like his partially unbuttoned shirt. Stupid mutt.

"Sure, you can stay behind. I promise not to snog any stacks."

Angels in the stack however, consider his fingers crossed!

"What's the library quest thing? The search for the magical paper cut?"

"Right." Another jaw cracking yawn as he looked past Anthony to the darkness beyond and rubbed a hand over his face.

"I'll explain on the way. But first you're going to buy me coffee." He shoved his hands in his pockets and went out of the room. "Come on."

If the Librarian wasn't so bloody diligent in her patrol, Aziraphale would have been through this a lot faster. Instead, he was sneaking around on the high shelves, trying to avoid noisy footsteps, trying to catalogue the symbols and route in case he had to do this at a later date (or in case it changed on them later), and trying to just not get caught. It was if she thought there might be book thieves prowling the stacks after hours. Really.

Oh, but that one did look very interesting. Checking to make sure she was nowhere in sight, he gently pulled a book free from the top shelf beneath him and reverently opened it up. It was nicely bound, with good leather and a lovely purple silk headband. Absolutely stunning work on the leafing as well. The text itself seemed somewhat informative about the local fae lore as well. Alas. If only he had brought a larger bag, he might have...borrowed it. For a bit.

Aziraphale was going to put it back and continue the quest, but maybe just a chapter? He had time, had not he? Sitting cross legged on the shelf in the middle of the maze, he opened it up and was so focused, he barely heard the other library intruders.

Buy a cup of coffee... swing round to Harry's place of work for a few freebies... Crowley was still on the shoe string budget of one who didn't actually have a 'job' yet but he did know how to work a town to get what he wanted out of it.

The last of his coffee was finished off and the Styrofoam cup tossed in the general direction of the trash can that had been helpfully placed by the front door. The cup went sailing past it to and onto the ground, littering for the win, but Crowley paid it no mind. He moved instead to press his nose up against the glass of the front door. He only caught fleeting shadows of the Librarian moving between the tall rows of books until she finally made the mistake of stepping out into the open. Presumably to sort through a few returned books or maybe she sensed the pair of them at the door.

"There she is, enemy in the tatty brown skirt and..." He squinted into the gloom. "Uh oh, she's got a ruler. Think she knows how to use it?"

Crowley floated away from the door and looked up the side of the building for any windows or useful fire escapes that might be used for a more clandestine entry. He found neither but there was something up there they might make use of.

"How do you feel about tight enclosed places? We might be able to get in through the ventilation."

Edited 2021-02-04 21:22 (UTC)

Alec stared at him for a moment, then grabbed him by the back of the collar and fairly dragged him to the rubbish bin.

"Put it in."

"Urk!"

Dragged backwards he practically danced only to keep his feet underneath him.

"Are you serious?? Aziraphale is in there with an insane Librarian and you are worried about a coffee cup?"

"Yes." He folded his arms. "The sooner you pick it up the sooner we can help."

Alec was a madman. Absolutely! Holding him up for a silly coffee cup!! Crowley growled but relented for if he didn't he would never be able to save Fell from whatever dangers he was facing inside. What if that Librarian had him in there... filing something!?

Once Crowley's collar was released he bent over to collect the coffee cup and about then the little grey cells sparked up a dastardly plan. The cup smoldered into flames in his hand and once it was slammed into the trash can the whole thing burst into a small bonfire. Crowley snatched Alec's arm and this time yanked him around the corner. The Librarian would see that, had to! The trash can was right there in front of the huge picture window!

"Shh, shh, wait for it."

Like clockwork the Librarian spotted the blaze and worried for her precious books she snatched up the nearest fire extinguisher. Once she rushed outside to put out the fire Crowley once again yanked at Alec so the pair of them could dash inside behind her back.

"Yeah, you were right," He smirked but spoke whisper quiet so the distracted Librarian still battling the flames outside wouldn't hear, "Picking up that cup was a good idea."

"Ow! For fuck's sake what is wrong with you!" He hissed as he rubbed his shoulder where his arm was nearly yanked out of it's socket. "What is it too blessedly good to keep the place clean? Are you that committed to the bit that you can't even do the bare minimum? Fuck."

He didn't really care for the librarian though the fire seemed dangerous in and of itself.

"You go get Fell. I'll see if I can ring up the fire brigade or something."

"Oh relax would you... A little littering and a small fire isn't going to tarnish your reputation. Anyway the evil Librarian has got that covered. Better leave her to it unless you want to take the blame for setting that fire to begin with."

He took an almost leisurely stroll through the stacks looking for any sign of Fell only to find more books and more shelves of books, and books stacked on the floor waiting to go onto shelves...

"It's not a little littering." He grabbed Anthony by the collar before he could get too far into the stacks.

"You're bloody immortal or whatever and you don't have to care about this world because it won't affect you, but it bloody does me, so the least you could do is to show even the minimum amount of giving a damn."

That done he let him go and stalked forward, trying to calm himself down. That was difficult to do as he saw Fell reading and also not giving a damn.

For fuck's sake.

He snapped the book closed from between Fell's hands and tucked it under his arm to serve as bait.

"Come on. We've got work to do."

"Alec!" His voice was hushed and he looked around hurriedly for the Librarian. "Be careful. You'll damage the binding." Somewhere just past the windowed doors, a fire burned and the smoke was not bad, it looked to be well on the way to going out, but he could smell it. Someone had lit garbage on fire. "What did you do?? Oh, for the love of-- You can pick locks."

He'd seen it done, no use denying it.

It couldn't be past midnight already, so that meant Lamassu--that (to borrow a popular American term) narc--had gone ahead and ratted him out to Alec (of course), who had undoubtedly brought Crowley in tow with him. Oh, could he not just do a quest peacefully?

While Alec got all the blame and frowns, Aziraphale turned a warm, thankful, smitten smile to Crowley "Hello, my dear," then grumpily snatched back the book from Alec, smoothed a hand over it, and reshelved it.

He stood, dusting off his trousers. "I have work to do. You'll have to be quiet. And mind your step. Some of these shelves are a bit slippery and it's a little high up. I'm not sure what we're looking for," he added with an excited whisper, practically wiggling with joy, "but it's all very adventurous. Like something from those, ah, Indiana Jones movies." There was a mystery and he intended to solve it.

"Shh. She's coming back through."

Crowley was still standing there with his back up against a shelf of books, all conveniently ordered by the subject of environmental studies, when Alec took off to confront Aziraphale. The words might have left a sting in there some where but any evidence of that was shown only in the way he hung back from the others. It was only one coffee cup not the end of the world.

"Hm? The fire was the quickest way to get the hall monitor out of the way."

But such a temporary measure didn't last nearly long enough. Crowley looked back towards the door and drat if Aziraphale wasn't right. That creepy Librarian put out the last of the flames and was heading back towards the door. He could hear the creak of the hinges as the glass door opened but he was too busy clamoring up onto the top of a shelf to watch her approach.

"Everyone hide... "

Fortunately(?) he assumed that the accusation was leveled at Anthony. That Fell cooed at him after didn't disavow him of the notion because he was just that much of a lovestruck fool. Alec would never admit that he found the man's enthusiasm a bit- well--cu-- endearing, but steadfastly refused to be endeared.

Instead he grunted to say that he had heard and kept his gaze forward, wanting to get this damn thing over with so he could go back to sleep. That coffee wasn't doing shit.

Or maybe it just kicked in. Or maybe it was Anthony's panicked whisper for everyone to hide that sent adrenaline flooding through his system. Fuck. Shit. Hell. He was never any good at hiding in either life. Except in Abaddon House. Outside of those strange halls and catacombs, he usually panicked until it was almost too late and then either hid behind a tree or gave up altogether.

Right now it seemed the latter as he frantically looked round for a place to hide but became wracked with indecision.

He backed into Crowley in an effort to hide and, bumping into him, gave him a coy, apologetic, if shamelessly flirty smile about that contact. Even though he wasn't privy to the snogging in the stacks conversation, clearly great minds thought alike.

That would have to wait, though-- Seeing that Alec wasn't joining them or finding somewhere to hide himself, Aziraphale darted forward, seized Alec by the back of his collar with surprising strength, put a hand over his mouth, and hauled him back with them into the shadows.

By all outward appearances, they probably looked downright comical: three grown man-shaped beings pressed in tight like sardines, standing with their backs to the shelves of books, fear in their eyes as they waited for the horror to pass. But inwardly, it was actually terrifying. No, they were likely in no real danger except a slap on the wrist and a bit of community service, but it had that same terrifying, gleeful viscerally real thrill to it that childhood hide-and-seek presented: no real danger, but try telling your racing heart that.

The Librarian's heels click clacked against the flooring, the sound almost echoing in the silent dim room. She stopped a few aisles before theirs to reshelf a tome. Aziraphale smooshed himself back against Crowley even tighter, as if somehow they could defy space and blend into the books. She continued onward, footsteps fading down the way.

After a moment, there was the aching creak of a bookcart with wheels in need of oil, and she was back to her task.

There was something tight and almost intimate in this... Doubtless the feeling had been inspired by that coy look he had just been given. It was the sort of warm loving expression that moved one's hand to rest protectively on your angel's hip while the other remained free, fingers wiggling in the air as he prepare to do... what? Something, spur of the moment and brilliant that would get them out of this mess unscathed. Crowley never had to act on that impulse however as the Librarian moved on of her own accord leaving him to enjoy the closeness of their sardine-like hiding place and smirk at Alec who looked hilariously surprised tucked there under Fell's arm.

Crowley had been about to suggest they move on before the warden returned when a glimmer from the books behind them caught his attention.

"Hey, what's that?"

His free hand reached around Aziraphale to move the book which blocked the faint glowing light. As 'Magic and You' slid out of the way the symbol could be seen on the back wall of the bookcase. Aziraphale had apparently spent all evening looking for these so he was immediately the one Crowley turned to.

"Upside down ram's head? That mean anything to you?"

It was like being suddenly manhandled by a cologne wearing gorilla. Every part of Alec froze as he was held. He didn't dare move, not even to squirm, and also tried very hard not to think. The librarian wasn't even as terrifying as-- well-- this.

He was a second too late to smack Anthony's hand away from the glowing book, but then decided the better idea was to take Fell's hand from his mouth and get some breathing room.

"Don't just touch things." But it was more or less gasped as he worked on getting free.

Aziraphale gave a frown as Alec wriggled free and he wiped any spit on his hand off on...well, he thought better of wiping it on his own trousers and instead, wiped his hand on Alec’s shirt sleeve. It was a very sibling sort of antic and Aziraphale, who had never had siblings as Fell and considered the other angels more coworkers than siblings, was very proud of himself.

As for the ram head, he put on his glasses, and opened up his notes, leafing through until he found the little doodle of a rams head from a previous shelf. He compared that with the one Crowley had found, made a few notes to himself and smiled up at his beau.

“It means you’re a menace and you’re lucky nothing here seems to be booby trapped.” Oh but he appreciated Crowley’s help and if Alec weren’t here, he might even award the help with a kiss. Well, he could make eyes at Crowley later. Right now he was giddy with the chance to solve a mystery. “I’m not sure what the ram means, specifically, but I think it suggests we’re on the right track. Come on, spitspot, best not dawdle.” He carefully stepped over a gap in the shelving and continued along what he had determined to be the route until they arrived at the next fork.

The eyes said as much as a kiss would have anyway as Fell had very expressive, very gorgeous, eyes. Not to mention he had been called a menace. Anthony was on cloud nine at being called a menace! That was practically pillow talk, but it needed to be answered only with a warm look of own as they did have company here and there was that worry of traps to consider.

"You really think there would be booby traps in a library... Maybe they set the books slightly askew so they all fall over when on is touched. Or messed with the check out slips so no matter how hard to tried you would always end up returning a book late?"

He wasn't the least bit serious about any of this, he said them only to illustrate how ridiculous he thought it was that there might have been traps in a library. A touch of snark always got his point across so well.

Spitspot.

A typically archaic Aziraphale word that even as he dared not to dawdle still had him smirking to hold back a laugh. No one ever used spitspot anymore! Well, no one but Fell did. It was part of his charm but still funny. He hopped the gap and turned slightly to look back at Alec, who still seemed a shocked for some reason. Maybe because that Librarian had been wearing her glasses down on the very tip of her pointed nose and had been carrying a rather large ruler.

"Mind the gap. If you fell that Librarian would be sure to hear it."

Spitspot? He mouthed the words as if he wasn't sure he'd heard them and shook his head. "It's like dealing with bloody Mary Poppins." This muttered to himself as he eyed the gap. He wasn't sure about that gap. It didn't seem too big to cross over, Anthony had. Fell had. And yet--

"I'll catch up." Which meant he'd try to find another way. There had to be another way, right? Some place where he wouldn't have to jump?

Yes, he honestly thought there might be booby traps in the library because Crowley was vastly underestimating how great of lengths a bookloving libarian might go to in order to protect her hoard. Granted, he didn't think the boobytraps would be deadly saws, or swinging axes... maybe just a floor panel to open up and expell a naughty demon from the stacks. Something very benign and scooby doo.

Really, did Crowley not know who he was talking to? Aziraphale did everything BUT booby trap the bookstore against customers.

"It's not that far," Aziraphale tutted, giving both Crowley A Look and Alec a more encouraging, if exasperated one. He held out a hand. "We don't have all night, Alec. Give me your hand--Crowley, you take his other arm. Won't let you fall now, alright?"

"It'll be easy, just like baby steps. You definitely won't fall. That's more of a demon thing anyway..."

Taking the cue Crowley stepped up to the very lip of the bookshelf and leaned slightly out to reach for Alec's arm.

"Give me your hand?"

He didn't want the help, especially coupled with Fell's exasperation. He would find another way. He didn't need help from them. He would just rather go around.

And then Anthony had to speak up and make him feel bloody cared for. How could he say no when he spoke like that? When he offered his hand?

He muttered something under his breath, took both offered hands so he wouldn't get any pouting looks and, heart in his throat, let himself be helped over the gap. He didn't credit the warmth that filled him when he made it as that was just a dangerous emotion at the best of times.

"Thank you." Muttered. "Let's get on with it." Also his ears are not red so you can forget about even mentioning something that clearly isn't happening.

"Right, yes."

Alec now on sure footing beside them, Aziraphale was focused back to the matter at hand, completely oblivious to the red ears that were not happening or the warm, happy cousin bonding. He was on a quest, a mission, and he hadn't invited them because they would have been a distraction--as they were being, each in their own way.

He was giddy with the prospect of adventure, following the pathway of the shelving as it skimmed the edge of the room, keeping his eyes out for more symbols, caught up in the fantasy of it. So focused, he nearly ran face first into a hanging light fixture.

Crowley watched after both of them as they walked past and continued on the mad journey across the book shelves. He took up the rear, just to keep an eye on both of them, to smirk at those red tipped ears, and to spy on that Librarian one last time before the mission carried them on out of viewing range. She had quite the stack of books there, all returns, some of them late, which she was sorting into piles to return to the shelves they belonged on. It her own little world then... maybe she wouldn't have heard the clatter of crystal beads singing off each other like a windchime as Aziraphale nearly whacked that light fixture off the ceiling.

"Angel," this said in a hissed whisper as like radar the Librarian's head snapped up, "Watch your step also means what's hanging in front of you too. You nearly got that lady stirred up again."

He sauntered after the pair, still speaking as he skirted around a stack of books but just missed seeing the rounded bookend concealed behind them. This was ever so lightly kicked with the tip of a snakeskin boot and sent rolling across the stacks. It teetered once on the very edge before gravity forced it right over and sent it to smash into a million pieces on the floor. Glass shards... everywhere...

All Crowley could do was gap at the mess.

"Think she heard that?"

He may have snickered a bit involuntarily when Fell smacked his head, only to drag his hand over his face a moment later when the bookend fell. The librarian was looking up, he could see it from here. He didn't know why they were hiding from her either other than it seemed like a good idea--

Thinking fast he scooped up a fat tome and threw it in the opposite direction as hard as he could. It hit something in the dark and there was an impressive avalanche sound that he assumed were tumbling book and more than one breakable object he hoped wasn't valuable.

"Let's go."

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It's so stimulating being your hat.

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