isleofavalon | (closed) when i look back on it warm feelings are all i have

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(closed) when i look back on it warm feelings are all i have

🧙 WHO: Minako Aino and Monika
⚔️️ WHAT: The Unseen Path prompt from the TDM.
🕒 WHEN: May
🗺️ WHERE: The Dusklight Wood
⚠️ WARNINGS: Should be none, will edit if that changes!

[ Thankfully Minako is not always quite as ditzy as she seems. Once she knew that she was going to go help fetch ingredients together with Monika, she made sure to listen to all information and guidance that was given to them. After all, it's not like she wants to put either of them into unnecessary danger, just because they weren't patient enough to listen to the help they were getting.

Which means that they know what the deal is once they try to leave the woods. Which is a good thing in this case, since they would just have kept walking around in circles otherwise. Minako knows that there's no regular way to leave these woods.

And yet.. when they're there, getting ready to leave, the enchanted cloth she took along in her hand, Minako still seems to pause for a moment, lingering. ]

Hey, Monika.. You're not worried about being blindfolded, are you?

[ After all, even when you're with someone you like, it can be a scary situation to a lot of people! Even Minako doesn't really like the idea, just in case there's some danger that they weren't warned about.

But still - of course she's going to think of the other's comfort first, which is why she speaks up with this. ]

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[ Monika had digitized the thing they'd come to get into her pen-staff, in a special compartment that would keep it safe and stable. Now it was on her back, but gosh... It would be super nice if she could find a way to miniaturize her staff into a regularly-sized pen whenever she didn't need it to fight. Maybe there was an enchantment for that somewhere?

At the question, she turned to the other girl. ]

Mhm... [She pondered a moment. She wasn't afraid of the dark, and it was a really cute way to get out of there. Well, cute because it was with her girlfriend... If it had been with anyone else, it would have been anywhere from uncomfortable to creepy.] Not really. Well, it's a bit scary to think we could get attacked and not see it coming. [She raised a finger.] But we've done worse in more dangerous places, right?

[ Well... Okay, maybe not worse. But they had had serious conversations and moments together in very dangerous places. Speaking of which, ever since their heart-to-heart last time, Monika had been doing noticeably better. Of course she was far from "healed" just yet, but it was as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulder. ]

What about you? [She smiled.] We can take it slow if it got you worried.

[ Minako can't help but smile a little guiltily when that question is being asked of her here. ]

Ah, well.. [ It'd be so easy to say that she's fine with all of this. It's what she usually would have done, especially in the face of something like this. She'd just want to suck it up and help guide the other along, as is expected of her.

But Monika asked her to share her worries with her. And Minako, too, said that she was making an effort at being honest.

So that's what she's got to do here. Especially since Monika has seemed better again lately too. ]

I'm a little worried.

[ That's the truth. It's not a huge worry, but to say that Minako can dive into this situation with zero worries - that would be a lie for sure. ]

Especially the part you mentioned too about the possibility of us getting attacked and not seeing it. It could be that there's some sort of danger out there that they didn't mention. [ And Minako isn't one to easily get scared in the face of danger, sure.

But she'll be out there with her girlfriend, and the thought of something happening to Monika? Now that does scare her. ]

[ It was so adorable. She could tell Minako was probably worried for her sake... And with good reasons, all things considered. Monika wasn't a magical girl, had whatsoever no fighting skills and relied completely and her two types of magic whenever they had to actually fight.

She tilted her head, pondering for a moment. ]

I could set up a security perimeter around us... Using telekinesis and a few noisy items. So if anything approaches us, we'll be warned by them bumping into the things!

[ Well, there'd be trees... But she expected the noise to be very different if a monster approached them. ]

I'll need you to lead us though, so I can focus on maintaining the "barrier."

[ With that said, she leaned forward and placed a brief kiss on Minako's cheeks. ]

Vegetarians taste bad, you know? Monsters would probably avoid me, ahaha. So I'll be fine.

[ She pouts. ]

No way, Monika.. [ Minako's tone is whiny - kind of childishly so in this moment. Maybe it's since she's a little embarrassed for feeling so worried about this entire thing in the first place when it's not like the two of them haven't faced more dangerous things together, but.. she just can't help it.

Even though it's still embarrassing. ]

You'd probably taste delicious. [ Still pouty, yes. Still a little whiny. It's probably why she's saying this in the first place, despite it being totally pointless. Even if it's to reassure her, she doesn't want her girlfriend to say even one negative thing about herself!

.. even if it'd be a good thing in this situation! ]

You've got to be the tastiest girl in the world. That's why I'm so worried! [ After almost puffing up her cheeks for a moment, Minako instead exhales. ] But.. I guess you're right. That does sound like the best solution. I'm sure I can handle any monster that shows up there, just as long as I actually know it's there.. So if something sets off your barrier, I'll immediately jump into action, okay?

[ It's not like taking off their blindfolds in there can hurt, after all. As long as they don't wander around too much, they shouldn't lose their path just because of one battle. ]

[ Oh no! Oh no. That's... That's...

Cuteness overload. There is whatsoever no way any monsters around could survive the sheer adorableness radiating from her girlfriend right now. ]

Would I now? [She smiled sweetly and canted her head to the side.] Mhm, I demand a taste test as soon as we're out of here!

[ And a kiss was obviously the very best way for such a test. For once that Minako is the embarrassed one, that means Monika totally gets to tease her! Even if she is blushing a little. And while she's talking, she's setting up the barrier around them with her telekinesis. Using things found on the ground or materialized from her staff. ]

Do you know why I'm not that worried? [She closed an eye.] My girlfriend is the brightest and mightiest magical girl in all of existence. I always feel super safe whenever she's by my side.

[ With that said, Monika does the unthinkable: she boops Minako's nose! ]

She's also the cutest, especially when she worries for her girlfriend~!

[ That boop on her nose definitely gets another whine out of her.

But only because it feels thematically appropriate - and maybe because she's kind of amazed at how Monika can instantly help soothe her heart. Maybe not entirely, since Minako is the world's biggest worry wart deep down, but it does help. Surely they'll be okay. If Monika is believing in that, then Minako will do her best to do so too. Aren't they an unbeatable team..? ]

Alright, alright, I guess we should go ahead and just try it then..

[ After all, the alternative is being stuck out here forever.

Which also isn't ideal. Because Minako would like to sleep and cuddle in their comfortable bed again tonight instead of out in the forest, thanks! ]

Do you want me to help blindfold you?

[ Upon hearing that one final whine, Monika gives her a brief but loving hug. There's too much concentrated adorableness for her not to. Besides, she can tell she is genuinely worried... And she wants to do everything within her power to ease her worries-

Even though she knows all too well, that sort of feeling never really goes away. ]

You can't keep being that adorable whenever we're on a mission...! [She let go of her and giggled.] How am I supposed to resist hugging you?

[ She then nodded. Right, the blindfold. Talking about it and actually doing it were really two different things... With anyone else that uncomfortable feeling would probably be a tad too much. But she's got absolute trust in Minako! ]

Sure. [A pause.] Will you be able to put on your own alone?

Yeah, I think so.

[ Minako might seem like a total ditz at times - during the moments where she's not being serious, anyway - but the thing that separates her from Usagi is the fact that Minako is ditzy, but not clumsy. She's pretty sure she can handle tying her own blindfold. She's done harder things in life.

.. besides, helping out Monika gives her at least still a bit of security during these initial moments. So she smiles at the other, and then moves up the cloth to gently start tying the blindfold around Monika's head. ]

Please let me know if it's too tight, okay? [ Says the girl who is being SO GENTLE right now.. So much so that it's probably obvious. But look, Minako's weak spot for the other girl is the size of the moon, what else is she supposed to do. ] Or if you can actually still see something.

[ Monika remained still as Minako tied the blindfold around her head. She smiled at the words. As if there was any chance this could be too tight. She was so gentle, even porcelain dolls weren't treated with as much care. ]

Nope, can't see a thing...!

[ She could tell this was a magical cloth, seeing how it blotted out even the faintest traces of light.

There was a bit of nervousness in her voice and demeanor now though, now that she couldn't actually see. It's always easier whenever you talk about doing something, versus actually doing it. So she holds onto Minako's hand, noticeably more nervously than she otherwise would. But she did her very best not to show it too much. ]

I wonder what went through the head of the person who created this method to leave the forest, ahaha...!

[ It felt a bit like a video game. If you really wanted a place to be absolutely safe, you shouldn't give people a way out. Especially not a quirky one. ]

[ Minako lets out an amused sound. It's not quite her usual laughs though. It's a little more muted and serious - since she is taking anything that involves their safety very seriously, even if the method they've set up for letting them leave the forest is.. ]

It's so weird!

[ After making sure Monika's blindfold is properly secured, Minako first grabs the cloth that's supposed to tie the two of them together before putting on her own blindfold. It's going to be easier to tie this around them while she can actually still see, after all. Pressing her hip against the other girl's, she starts tying it around them, side-to-side. ]

It's almost as if the person who thought it up has some sort of really weird preferences, you know?

[ She huffs, working on the knot. ]

We better not run into some creepy guy out there! I'll kick him in the face! [ Beating up creepy guys is nothing if it's for Monika's sake!!! ]

[ Monika winced a bit. No no no! Had she never watched a horror movie? You never said those kind of things lest you jinx it and then make all the bad things happen. It was one of the most common tropes. In fact, they really were setting themselves up to be the perfect victims for a slasher fiction, weren't they? Those who died were often girls or lovers... And they were both! ]

Ahaha! There's no way we'll run into anyone. [A nervous laughter.] Whoever set that up is probably long dead...

[ Yes, dead and buried deep underground. She should remain silent, now she was the one jinxing it. And she had been so calm mere moments ago...! That was the picture perfect example of overthinking things and creating anxiety out of nothing. She just needed to stay calm and- ]

Aaah! [She jumped and immediately grabbed Minako's arm. ] S-Sorry, I-I felt something on my arm! Ahaha! Must have been the wind.

[ More awkward laughter as she let go of her. Anxiety was contagious, huh? Thank goodness Minako had already started tying the two of them together and not done one of those silly jokes like you always see in horror movies. ]

Gosh, we're going to feel so silly about that tonight...

We haven't even started yet!

[ Even though Minako still feels a little nervous too, she still can't help but gently laugh when the other girl jumps like that. She makes sure the cloth is tied off well first, but once she thinks it is, she momentarily wraps her free arm that isn't being held onto by Monika around the other, squeezing her girlfriend a little. ]

So don't feel too jumpy, alright? Your knight in shining armour is right here with you! Or.. well, maybe without the armour.

[ She lingers for a moment. Even though Minako knows she should probably put on her blindfold and get going, she can't help but want to linger like this for a moment, reassuring the both of them. ]

.. do you think I can let go of you for a moment now so I can put on my own blindfold? [ She slowly asks after a moment or two.

They are still quite literally tied to each other by the hip in the moment, anyway. ]

[ She leaned against her a moment. At least she'd made her laugh! So long as they could make each other laugh, all would be fine. ]

You're right... [She canted her head to the side.] Wait, wasn't I the one reassuring you about this just a minute ago?

[ How the tables had turned, huh. She laughed and shook her head. Gosh. It sure was going to be an entertaining trip out, with the two of them so worried about this. Well, it'd get better as soon as they'd start "seeing" the way out. In fact, you could say... ]

We're not out of the woods yet.

[ She couldn't resist. Sometimes, certain idioms were just too perfect for the situations they were in. ]

Of course.

[ Monika smiled. They were tied by the hip anyway, so it wasn't like she'd suddenly find herself all alone. ]

[ Minako lets go of the other girl so she can move to put on her own blindfold. But as she's doing it, it's like she realises something only now - maybe since she was too busy fussing to really think about Monika's words a moment ago, which is why it only hits her now that-- ]

Did you just make a pun?

[ At least she sounds kind of amused about it. There's maybe the tiniest hint of exasperation in it, but even that seems fond in the middle of the amusement as she's tying her own blindfold. ]

I can't believe we're about to head into a forest blind and you're making puns over here. [ It's cute, really.

And she appreciates it, especially in the face of what's about to come. It brings some levity into the situation, no matter that it's dumb pun levity. Minako will take it. ]

[ Monika couldn't help but giggle at the delayed reaction. It was so cute. And it it helped Minako feel a bit better about this whole situation, all the better. ]

Ahaha~ [She smiled.] It's not a punishable offense, is it?

[ Anyway, next came the part where they had to compliment each other, right? Oh, that would be super easy. She had no shortage of compliments, true and genuine, to say about her compliments. Really, if the ones who had come up with this weird idea had hoped people would be too ashamed to compliment each other, they were in for a disappointment.

But then, Monika marked a pause as she realized what she had just said... Oh. ]

Oh my gosh, I can't believe I did it again... That one was completely unintentional, I swear!

[ Really. She just has a pun-enabled brain. ]

No way, no way!

[ At least it sounds a lot more like the usual now, huh? Even though neither of them can see anything - because Minako is almost done with her own blindfold as well, rendering both of their visions as black as the night - the sound of their exchange back and forth makes it sound like they're not about to blindly wander through a forest. Like they're just hanging out together back home, talking and having fun. ]

You totally did that on purpose! You can't fool me!

[ Not that it matters though. It could have been unintentional, sure. It's more just about keeping up the energy that's been created between them here, and Minako drops her hands once she's sure her own blindfold is also secure. ]

.. okay, I think we're ready to start walking now. I'd hold your hand, but.. you know.

[ They're already literally tied at the hip right now. ]

Ahaha, it'd be a bit hard.

[ She was smiling still. Everything was easier with Minako at her side. But there was a time for puns and a time for serious things, right? ]

So, um... I think now is the part when we have to compliment each other, right? [A pause.] I guess saying those kind of things aloud may be tough...

[ For strangers and people who had difficulties expressing their emotions. She had somewhat been the later at one point... But never with Minako. ]

But how could this be, when my girlfriend is such a wonderful person? It's like... Before we met, life was dull. A gray and lifeless landscape. No colors, no spark, no joy...

[ She tilted her head down and brought a hand to her own chest. ]

You brought colors to my life. When I wake in the morning, I know happiness thanks to you. You make... Life worth living. And it's not just with me, either. Wherever you go, smiles and happiness always follow. There is something about you that brings joy to people's lives. [She marked another pause.] I hope you know this. Always. You're so pretty, funny, interesting... But that is your true superpower. You make life better for those lucky enough to know you.

[ Honestly, Minako should've seen this coming.

After all, the entire idea of finding their path here meant that they had to continuously compliment each other - and it's not like they don't already do that in the first place. They do it all the time. So them having to do it now just means that it's obviously going to go into sheer overdrive.

.. and yet.. Somehow Minako didn't anticipate Monika coming out of the gate this strongly. Even though she can't see a thing as they walk, Minako can feel her cheeks heating up at the sheer words. ]

Ah, Monika.. C-come on.

[ She doesn't sound fully dismissive of it. Minako's tone is very obviously flustered. No one needs to be able to see her to be able to tell that she's got that sort of mood over her. ]

Isn't that all a little too much for me..?

[ She chuckled at Minako's reply. ]

Too much? It's not nearly enough~!

[ If only she had the words and time to express everything she was feeling... But that was the beauty with love, wasn't it? So many different ways to express it, all unique in their own special ways. ]

I guess I came off a bit strongly... [She marked a pause.] But I meant every single one of those words. And I want you to know how loved and important you are, always. I never want you to doubt what a wonderful and special person you are, not for one second.

[ It was so painful, whenever you started doubting. It was a mistake couple often fell in after a while. They got comfortable together, and over time worded their feelings less and less often. They know they love each other, of course. So what good are words, when you are aware of your feelings? If only things were that simple.

Words means a lot. Even if you know you are loved and beloved... Hearing it is special. Expressions of love should never ever become "unnecessary," no matter how comfortable two people may be with each other. And given the circumstances... She might as well go all out, right? ]

No, the problem isn't you coming off so strongly, or-- um.

[ Minako pauses for a moment, the only sound their footsteps against the forest floor as they keep walking.

It's only a brief pause though, and then she continues once more. ]

It's.. so sweet of you. To say all that. And I do believe you love me! [ That's the part Minako has absolutely zero doubts about. Even if Monika wouldn't say it, Minako would know by now that the other girl loves her. It feels like a natural fact. ] But believing that I'm anyone special.. That's the part that's still a little hard.

[ That's the part that feels so overwhelming when Monika pours out her love over Minako. She has no idea how to unite the image she has of herself with the one Monika has of her. That Minako and the one in her head feel like two different people entirely. ]

Is that weird..?

[ Monika smiled as she heard that. ]

No, it's not. [She shook her head] It's... Relatable, ahaha.

[ She knew feeling that all too well. It was hard accepting compliments and the idea you could be special, regardless of whether that was true or not. Even if you did enjoy it and wanted to be special... Your brain just wouldn't allow it. ]

Do you find it scary? The thought you may be special? [A pause.] Or is it just that you... That you don't believe there is anything special about you?

[ Because if that was the later, she was wrong. Oh so absolutely wrong in more ways than she could imagine. But if that was the former, then... She could understand. Monika had always entertained the idea she could be special and she, admittedly, loved it. But when she had indeed become "special," it had been a curse.

Sometimes you don't want to be special, you just want to be normal. ]

[ Minako releases a breath that almost sounds like a laugh, though a very faint one. ]

Oh, it's definitely the latter. [ She doesn't even have to think about it. Maybe if she thought more about Monika's situation, then she might realise why the other would even mention the former possibility, but right now just forcing herself to be honest is taking up so much of Minako's mental energy that it doesn't cross her mind quite yet.

Maybe it will in a moment. ]

No matter what I might tell other people [ like her constantly mentioning her self-proclaimed divinity, or any other compliments she gives herself ] I really don't think there's a single special thing about me. Anything I do could have been done by someone else too.

[ Protecting her princess all her life. Giving Monika the love she deserves. If it had been someone else in Minako's place - then surely they could have done the same thing.

She refuses to believe she's got some special quality that only makes her able to fulfil those positions. ]

Not that it's a bad thing. I'm not sad about it, really! But.. it just is what it is, you know? I can acknowledge that about myself.

You're wrong. So, so wrong.

[ She tried turning around to face her-- But oops, they're still tied together at the waist, so that didn't really work. She raised a finger with the intent to poke at Minako's nose, she could tell more or less where she was due to the bind. But instead, she hit her cheek. ]

... Oops, sorry ahaha! [Okay, no nose poking today.] I'm going to speak a lot here, so don't you interrupt me~!

[ Monika took a deep breath. It was the latter, and there was no way she'd let Minako have such a low opinion of herself. Of course, she knew you couldn't just tell someone they're special and voila, everything is fixed. It could take months, years even, before you'd start thinking of yourself the way you deserved to. It was like building a house. It was a long process, so intimidating that most people would never even start it.

So she'd place the first stone today. ]

You bring joy wherever you go, Minako. People smile when they're around you. They feel relaxed and they laugh. Whenever someone needs help, you're there for them, aren't you? Even when it inconveniences you, you rush ahead. Even when you don't believe in your skills, you do what you can. You are so selfless and kind. [She tilted her head to the side.] And don't get me started on your life as a magical girl who saves the day so often! On your amazing skills as a performer! Or on how incredibly pretty you are! You are special in so so many way.

[ There was so much she wanted to say, but she had to condense it. She didn't want to overwhelm Minako with too much, after all! Even though this was a lot already. But she knew exactly what had to be said and it was important. ]

So when you say anything you do could be done by someone else, you couldn't be more wrong. There is no one else with the skills and willpower to keep your friends as safe as you. It's all you. And... There is no one else who would love me the way you do. No one I could ever love as much as I love you. [She marked a pause.] I never told you, did I? Back home I... I am dead. I "deleted" myself and the entire game. I did it so none of my friends would ever have to go through the same torment than I, becoming aware of the truth behind our terrible reality. But the truth is... I had lost the will to live. A world of pain without love, without a future— I couldn't take it any more.

[ Monika's voice lowered a little as she said that. It wasn't something she had planned to reveal today. Honestly, she hadn't been sure whether she had ever wanted to speak of it. She didn't want Minako to think she was suicidal- She wasn't, far from it. Anyone trapped in a tiny and lifeless world with no hope of anything would probably choose death after a while.

But she'd said it regardless- Because she wanted Minako to realize how important and special she was. ]

I was at my lowest when I came to this world. Lost, desperate and scared. With the wrong push, I could have become a real monster real quick or I could have been manipulated so easily... But then I met you. When I fought my inner demons, when I tried to erase my memories, when I cried— You were there. You always were. You gave me strength. You made me feel like a better person, you made me want to be better. You... You made me happy to be alive. [She smiled, her voice cracking down a little bit with a few years.] You make me happy, right now. We're here, tied together in the middle of a forest, blindfolded. Most people would probably hate it... But I think it's the happiest I have ever felt. Because you're here with me. Because I feel like I can do something for the girl I love so so much.

[ She took another deep breath but she was still smiling. She wanted Minako to feel better about herself. And to conclude, she figured a bit of a more poetic note was fitting, what with the few bits she knew about her magical girl life. Namely, her name. ]

Do you know what the brightest star in the night sky is? Venus. It is so bright, sometimes you can see it even in broad daylight. [She sighed happily.] You shine so brightly, Minako. You are unique. Special. And if you can't find the strength to believe it, then I will keep believing for you till you can accept it.

[ Minako is being good. Even though Monika is saying so much here, she's staying quiet and just listening, since it's what the other girl asked of her. Even though it's.. a lot. Not just in volume, but in general. Minako usually already has trouble with a single compliment, but this is an entire ocean's worth being poured right out over her.

It takes a lot to keep feeling like she's up at the surface, rather than helplessly drowning in the flood. She just tries to focus on her breathing, tries to focus on continuing to follow the right signs as they walk. Anything that can root her to this moment - and even more so when Monika tells about what happened in the end in her world. It sure explains a lot about why the other is so insistent on not going home, but it's also just painful to think about. Monika's world having crushed her spirits so much that she'd rather die than experience even another single moment of it.

She slowly breathes out. ]

What am I even supposed to say in the face of that..?

[ Minako sounds like she's trying to make her tone sound airy, like she's trying to treat this lightly, but it shakes at the edges - betraying the true emotion in it. ]

B-Besides, weren't we supposed to compliment each other? I don't know if I can match something like this..! [ Not because she couldn't say that much about Monika, mind you. She totally could.

It's just that Minako is flustered to an extent where she doesn't even know what to say, and so random words just flood right from her brain out of her mouth. ]

[ Monika continued walking, and grew silent for a moment. She had really said so much... She wondered if that was too much? In the game, it had felt natural for her to do such long and uninterrupted monologues, but here. She smiled sheepishly as she realized she may have gone a bit too far, but she still felt happy. She wanted Minako to know she was special.

And judging by how the other girl reacted to her words, it was mission accomplished. ]

You do match it, every day. Each and every of those those words are a result of the love you give me.

[ She took a deep breath. Not that she didn't like compliments, but... It was Minako's moment. And she was happy with it. ]

Ahaha, gosh I really spoke a lot... [She laughed awkwardly.] You... You can stop me if I ever get to be too much, you know. Even if I ask you not to stop me. I don't want to be like... Overbearing or anything.

[ Because, god knew she could be even if she tried very hard to correct her flaws. ]

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