isleofavalon | [closed] なにわ☆パラダイ酒

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[closed] なにわ☆パラダイ酒

🧙 WHO: Rosho, Rei and Sasara
⚔️️ WHAT: it's Rei's birthday and so Dotsuitare Hompo is doing what they do best: get drunk
🕒 WHEN: backdated to 1/23
🗺️ WHERE: some bar in the city
⚠️ WARNINGS: Rei and Sasara (jk uuhh obv drinking, bad puns, maybe some language)

[ The tavern's bustling with activity, though that's probably understandable with it being the beginning of the weekend. No one seems to be particularly rowdy yet, but anything could happen, the night being young and all. It's not like Dotsuitare Hompo's even started yet. Rosho and Sasara arrive at the bar together but wait for Rei's arrival before they all step inside, and right away, they're off to the front of the bar.

It's sort of strange to be drinking in a place that isn't Rosho's apartment, but the inn rooms are rather cramped and not great for a drinking celebration, and besides, a place like this provides the right light ambiance for a birthday. The issue will be how exactly they're going to get back to their places after they're through, but they'll worry about that later. Now, it's just about Rei, enjoying themselves, and getting as drunk as possible.

Rosho orders them their first round then initiates the toast. ]

To this old man gettin' older, and not gettin' any younger, just like the rest of us.

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[ Since it's Rei's birthday, he's allowed to take his time, no? To be a little late even though it's rude and inconvenient, ya see, his birthday gift of a sort that Rosho—especially—won't nag him too much! It's true, three's just too much of a crowd in one of those modest rooms and even beside that a day like this deserves some sorta special setting. ~~Is it really Rei's birthday, what's his age again?~~ Sasara's lax, sorta lenient believing deciding what word he'll have of the old man's tasks and doings. So the time until they're in is bridged with laughter; what else!?

Sasara only waits his toast to have Rei clink his glass up as well and unite their trio on the humps of bar stools. ]

Well, let's let him help oil those creaky joints before they crack, ya know. Though, he won't say what's cracking otherwise, haha!

[ Whether that awful joke earns a toast or the matter of celebrating their most senior teammate, Sasara clearly won't mind either way. ]

Can't believe I came all the way out here just to get ribbed about my age! Thought this was a toast, not a roast.

[Rosho and Sasara are such dorks. They make a big show of being suspicious of him(or at least, Rosho does)-- but they are friends, after it all. Even if they can't stop running a comedy routine that he always ends up playing along with!!!!]

Cheers, you two. [Bottoms up!]

Hey, don't encourage him! [ Rosho shouts at Rei as he jabs Sasara in the side with his elbow for that terrible pun. ] I'm ribbing the both of you if this keeps up. I came to relax and drink, not endure a performance from dumber and dumbest.

[ God, he should have known things would turn out this way. He doesn't know how exactly Rei managed to become Sasara's terrible co-hort in bad jokes but its times like these he feels like he's the back-up act for the two of them. He sighs heavily as he downs a longer drink from his mug.

He's too sober to deal with one clown, let alone two. ]

Rib! Roast! Ahaha, it's like a barbeque!!

[ With these two around, Sasara is twice the funny man. He bumps his elbow against Rosho's arm and points, jabs his finger in Rei's direction, clearly anticipating a reaction to this joke of his. It's his sorta cheers to the old man, and maybe a suggestion for the continuation of the night. ]

Oi, Rosho– [ But before his partner drowns himself headfirst, either way, it's only right to make something of this get-together. ] –how about a speech to mark this sorta celebration? Say, just once a year you'll say something nice about this old man.

Sensei saying something nice about me? Sounds more like a once in a lifetime occurrence.

[But even as he says that, Rei grins knowingly at the teacher, adding his expectant gaze to Sasara's. WELL, ROSHO????]

[ Don't go talking about barbeque, you'll go and make him hungry. Maybe they should've gone out to eat at a proper place... ah, oh well. This'll do for now. But the least they could do is let him finish his drink before they start making demands. Rosho nearly chokes on his booze before he puts the mug back on the table, wiping his mouth as he flusters immediately. ]

W-wait a second, what've I gotta give a speech for? Sasara, you're the leader, shouldn't you be the one takin' up the podium?

[ There's too many people in this bar for a speech!! ]

Besides, I sent him his present in the mail! I've been plenty nice already!

Ahaha, Rosho, you're all red like a lobster! We oughta eat crab, instead.

[ It might as well be Sasara's birthday with how he's treating the situation, having too much fun riling his partner up. ]

Eh? That's so!? Well, don't be shellfish, though, ya know–!

[ Followed by that chatter of laughter to mark just how funny Sasara finds himself yet again.

Sure, he picked the card, but clearly left the rest up to fate—or to Rosho, really. Even so, this is about giving a friend the time of year after all. Sasara doesn't need
any convincing, jumps up from his seat, as if he's really been sitting down so far. ]

Ok, ok! Old man, ahem– Rei, you'll hear it from me first. I really can't trust your shady schemes even with my eyes open, ya see, but I'm happy to call you a friend for as long as it's been!

Hahaha! How shrewd.

[Rei's smile goes a little soft, though. Friends, huh. There's no telling how long Rei will be able to stay friends with these two, depending on how things pan out back home. The kindest thing to do would keep out of their way as much as he can, but... what the hell. It's not like they don't KNOW he's up to something. And Rei's always been selfish, so it's fine to enjoy their company for as long as they give it, right?]

I'll drink to that, team leader.

[Well, he'll drink to anything, but you know. It's the sentiment that counts!!!!]

[ Rosho just pinches at his brow as he asks the bartender for a refill, and he hopes its done fast. Thankfully a full mug comes his way... as soon as Sasara stands up on his chair. His childish booming laughter already got some interest in the tavern but with his new series of shenanigans there are definitely a few patrons looking their way, and Rosho is none too happy about it as he hisses under his breath. ]

Sit down, idiot! People are staring! You a monkey? This is a bar, not a jungle!

[ He does at least manage to not tug Sasara off the stool, if only because he's talking and he doesn't want to interrupt him. The words he has to offer are admittedly heartfelt, and he has to applaud their leader for having a way with words, as always, good or bad. At least is suits Rei just fine.

God, he wants to leave, but he can't, because he's aware it should be his turn to say something. Rosho is absolutely not standing up! The confused gaze of the bar's occupants is making him nervous, so Rosho grips the handle of his mug and decides he needs some of that good ol' liquid courage to get going. Once the mug is completely empty, he slaps it down, wipes his mouth then directs an intense gaze in Rei's direction. ]

I haven't forgiven you for the shit you pulled. I don't regret punching you. And I still don't really like you much. Thinkin' about so much as considering you as a friend is laughable! But... all those things that've happened, they're in the past. The only thing to do now is move forward, 'cause it's the only way you'll ever get anywhere. Us all bein' part of a team together, I guess... that's part of moving forward too.

[ It's a little baffling to think that Sasara warmed up to Rei in such a short amount of time, but... isn't that the way he was with him too, the first time they met? Rosho's face flushes with heat, either from embarrassment or the rush of alcohol, maybe either, he doesn't know, but his voice softens. ]

If it wasn't for the two of you, I'd be stuck the way I've been for years. And, you're part of the reason Sasara and I found a name to call ourselves. It shouldn't surprise me that the first time he came to talk to me about teaming up again, you were part of that too.

[ He pushes his glasses up, holds up his mug, even though it's empty now. ]

So, for bein' part of our team, and for trusting that this ridiculous duo's got what it takes to reach the top with your help... um, thanks. And congratulations, on your birthday.

[ Sasara stands his ~~ground~~ seat till the end of his speech; thankfully! They don't need anyone going down before Rosho does. And if it's up to him, this whole audience of patrons can know they're here to celebrate a birthday. This old man being as secretive as he is, one less secret won't make a difference!

As if keeping out of their way's a matter Rei could freely decide on his own, either way. If for no other reason, that's when Sasara'll invoke his team leader-ness. Besides, it's part of the conclusion he and Rosho both reached: keeping an eye on Rei's easiest that way.

Pretty shrewd! Of course there's just a little more than that to it. That sentiment, ya see. Even if Rosho drinks to something else, first. ]

A...ah, Rosho... [ That he musters up to speak in front of a crowd, in this little bar, ya know... it almost makes Sasara's eyes well up with nostalgia. ]

It's "knock 'em out", but ya oughta not make Rei your punching bag! [ Naturally, it ends up misdirected into a joke...! ] That sorta thing, public speaking, ya gotta get back into the swing [ *right hook motion* ] of!

Edited 2021-02-07 14:00 (UTC)

Ohoh. For someone so honest, you're not very honest at all, huh, Rosho-kun! [Hilarious that Rosho said ALL OF THAT after making a big fuss about it.... Still, it's appreciated. He throws the teacher a wink while Sasara does his song and dance.]

Speaking of public speaking... [and stepping right over Sasara's jokes....] While we're here I think we should get you up to speed, though. Don't you think it's a perfect opportunity?

[Since time is frozen back home, the time they spend here is a bonus! It's cheat time to get more practice in!! レ◯ィ・パーフェ◯トリー]

[ All these jokes and puns, this annoying teasing, it's driving Rosho up the wall. And he just gave a really nice, sincere speech too! The disrespect! He feels red all the way up to his ears as he clicks his tongue and waves the bartender over to fill up his mug again. Oh no, he's on his third drink. Things are going to spiral out of control very, very quickly. ]

Perfect time for what? What're ya plannin'? You're bein' all suspicious again!

[ He squints at Rei, pushes his glasses up and thrums his fingers against the counter, impatient for more booze. ]

Tell ya what, it's a perfect time to be thinkin' about gettin' yourselves a job! I already got one, so don't bother me about nothin'!

Ah, that's right!! A perfect opportunity!

[ He echoes Rei, a lot less mysterious and a whole lot more upbeat about it, even sitting down again he's loud enough. They've got just the same suspicious idea! Sasara has his microphone, Rei does too, and so must Rosho. Talking about it calls for a little more caution, a little less volume, after all.

His partner's complaints and instructions get trampled rather than just stepped over. Even if Sasara puts his hand up by his mouth, his voice isn't really made to whisper and between the three of them he still speaks up loud enough. That grin of his goes to Rei, and another nudge of his elbow to Rosho. ]

How about a performance, some practice, ya see?

No need for the fussing, Sensei. I've got one in the works, and it'll cover for Sasara-kun too. [Never mind that this is the first Rei has said about it to either of them.]

And because of that... [Rei shoots a grin of his own right back to Sasara.] I've got a stage for us and everything. So you ready to get on with it?

[ Of course they've been scheming something, he's not even surprised, but Rosho isn't interested in whatever meddlesome ploy they've got going on. All he wants to do is drink. That's what they came here for after all! He swats Sasara's hand away. ]

No way, I don't wanna. Leave me alone.

[ Rosho huddles down in his seat, trying to turn away from the two of them as he clutches his beer. ]

Pah! Old man, I oughta not be surprised at all.

[ So Rei's been scheming all on his own! Well, doesn't that make it all that much easier!? He seems to forget about the beer, the reason they came—it'll come flooding back to him, to be sure. Couldn't ya sorta look at shaking on Rei's deal as fulfilling his birthday wish? Maybe it's just a little self-serving, even like that, though they're a team after all. ]

Oi, Rosho, weren't ya sayin'– [ Scooting away like that just buys his insistence. Pinning it back on Rosho, that's one way, and in truth it was Sasara coaxing him to agree that the idea's solid. ] Putting our heads together ya can keep an eye on Rei?

[ ( That's only right to do! ) The grin Sasara still gives their third man remains audaciously cheery too, naturally. He's on, of course! ]

So don't ya want in on it!? [ Angel and devil on Rosho's shoulder—except, it's his very incessant team mates. ✨😇🤗😎😈✨ ]

A~ah, Sensei's no fun... [Rei gives an exaggerated sigh, but he looks nowhere near disappointed as he warms up to Sasara's double-teaming effort.] Where's all that resolve of yours gone? I guess you were drunk when you said we'd reach the top, though.... maybe you forgot.

[Rei rests his head in one hand, elbow on the table as he leans in to get a better look at their shrinking violet.] C'mon. We'll start off real easy. No audience, even! For a little bit, at least.

[ There's so much chatter going on, this way and that, Rosho's trying to focus on just chugging his drink but it's pretty hard to enjoy a beer with people haggling him. His half empty mug thumps hard onto the counter. ]

Shut up, shut up! Yer both so annoyin', bringin' up this and that. Ya callin' me a liar? 'cuz I ain't, no way!

[ He points an accusing finger in Sasara's direction. ]

Who's yer partner, huh? Me. Who's the one that said the old man's gotta be watched? Me? That's right!

[ The finger is now directed in Rei's direction. ]

And who's the one that invited ya here? Me! So ya both are lookin' real stupid as if ya got any right bullyin' me into anything! Go right on ahead with whatever ya want, I don't care, I'll do it!

[ On the count of three!

Sasara leans away just a little, only to avoid that accusing finger poking his eye against all measures of keeping them shut. When all that scolding gets turned Rei's way, though, he claps his hands together to underline Rosho's conclusion. He'll do it–? ]

Perfect! Rei's been settin' this up since we got here, ya know! [ You take the credit, old man~ 😉 ]

Haha! Knew you had it in you. [You call it giving him the credit, but it could also mean throwing Rei under the bus when Rosho gets mad...] It was just a matter of time, anyway, whether we ended up here or not.

[Rei grabs his drink again, intent on catching up with Rosho before it's too late.] I'm looking forward to it! Do your worst, Rosho-kun.

[ Rosho finishes off the rest of his beer proudly, strangely pleased with himself even though he did nothing aside from sign his soul and dignity away to these two devils.

He hiccups, then turns to Rei. His worst, huh? ]

Yeah, 'kay, got it.

[ Slowly, Rosho steps off of his seat and stands, facing the other two. He looks strangely serious. ]

Daily life of the Tsutsujimori family.

[ Oh no. ]

Every day, my father takes the dog for a walk, and they get lost on the way home. Every day, my father takes the dog for a walk, and they get lost on the way home.

[ Sasara hasn't had another drink since toasting. He's behind!? About to rectify that too, he sees Rosho get up. Rei's birthday means he can wish for whatever he wants, yeah? A day in the life, an unemotional retelling!

Before Sasara can stop his partner, he's already going.

( Ah, o-oh... no way...... how nostalgic...! )

Rei's third birthday present tonight is seeing Sasara sorta speechless before he mumbles. ]

S-still with that one...

[ The bar has gone a lot quieter, looking over at the table that made most of the ruckus in here in the last ten minutes. But there's a snort of some sorta amusement at the far end of the room. ]

[Oh?? My god??????]

...

[Rei's face is that of someone who is trying VERY VERY HARD not to laugh. He has to AT LEAST wait until Rosho hits whatever his punchline is supposed to be before he absolutely loses it.]

[ Good thing Rei doesn't keep waiting, because he'd be waiting for a whole long time. There's never been a punchline to that one and there probably never will be. However, what Rosho doesn't expect is actual laughter at the end of the joke (if you can even call it that). He drunk enough that he can't tell that it's more baffled confusion at how little sense his only shtick continues to have, but it's a reaction he's never experienced before, and so after his own brief speechless shock he's absolutely ecstatic as he beams happily at Sasara. ]

Sasara look, look! I did it! He laughed!

Ah-haha! Right...!

[ Chances are the other guy's as sloshed as Rosho has quickly become. But if that's what puts some wind behind his drunken contract with a devil and a half! Sasara will do himself the honor of explaining any joke of his own, it's just that his partner's Day in the Life schtick is our of his grasp. Regardless! Laugh now, Rei! ]

Our Rosho's got it– Ain't it so, Rei?

[Rei isn't drunk, but he IS acting a bit senseless atm. The joke isn't really a joke at all, but Rosho's utter commitment to the bit is just!!! It's just so!!!! SO!!!!!!!!!

When Rei finally gets a hold of himself, he manages:] Rosho-kun's unconscious attunement to situational comedy is unmatched. [Wheeze]

Okay, wait, wait. [He's still giggling a bit, but he remembers something from his research. There was an old, tiny interview with one of the duo's first improv audience members, and...] There's a part missing. Where you turn into a tower?

[Rei raises his arms as an example, continuing to turn the three of them into the center of attention in this poor bar. TSUUTENKAKU]

[ This is probably the most bizarre happening that has occurred in this bar in a long time. These people are just trying to mind their own business and get drunk, meanwhile Rosho is doing his terrible excuse for comedy and won't stop for as long as Rei plays along.

Seeing his old bit, the one that got him and Sasara together, the one he decided he'd never do again after the break-up, should honestly send him to tears. However, he's wasted as fuck. There's no emotional attachments to seeing the way Rei lifts his hands up in that familiar pose he knows so well, the one he created, just exuberant glee as he claps for Rei's effort. ]

Ah, you're showin' yer age, old man! That one's like a classic, ya know?

[ Finally his arms go up to form that triangle shape. ]

Tsutenkaku! But, but Rei, ya do it and then, ya see, it's a Twotenkaku!

[ And it'll likely be the most bizarre thing for a while into the future. Even Sasara ends up a little baffled...at Rei's engagement!! Him knowing that bit, well, he long since has the notion that he's much more than "just" a suspicious guy.

It brings back memories, the one Sasara holds the most dear even, perhaps. He wants to revel in it, in an even warmer feeling in his chest than the one building on alcohol. ]

A classic!

[ It's at the root of their duo, the building foundation, ya could say. With that, he jumps up and puts his hands up above his head too. The other patrons look on, confused and amused and everything in between. Sasara looks at faces equally entertained and inebriated with eyes on the three of them. ]

Ah? [ The audience's bewilderment is the punchline when instead of making another tower-ing joke, he declares: ]

Don't mind me, I'm just stretchin'!!

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[closed] なにわ☆パラダイ酒

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