Eustace (
flamekthunder) wrote in
isleofavalon2021-12-02 02:30 pm
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ninth shot ⊗ closed december catchall
🧙 WHO: Eustace and planned CR
⚔️️ WHAT: various things
🕒 WHEN: throughout December
🗺️ WHERE: various
⚠️ WARNINGS: none
[Closed catchall log for the month. Feel free to PM or contact at
laenavesse to plot something!]
⚔️️ WHAT: various things
🕒 WHEN: throughout December
🗺️ WHERE: various
⚠️ WARNINGS: none
[Closed catchall log for the month. Feel free to PM or contact at
no subject
Hm? Not even on your birthday?
[Maybe that's just an odd thing for her to think of. Growing up, Tifa had plenty of friends who would come to any parties her parents hosted, including birthdays, and each kid would always be showered with gifts on theirs. They were never anything extravagant or expensive, but they were thoughtful and meant something.
... The thought makes her aware of another detail that she's missed.]
When is it anyway?
no subject
I was never really close with anyone until recently and usually too busy and indifferent about it to begin with. It's only in the last couple of years that I started exchanging small gifts for the holidays.
Birthdays... [There's a small pause before his eyes widen slightly as he realizes something.]
...It's probably soon. It's the last day of the year, near the height of the winter season. December 31st.
[He phrases it that way because of how calendars likely differ.]
no subject
That's so soon.
[And for a beat, she considers asking if he wanted or was going to do anything special—a get together with friends, or perhaps a nice dinner somewhere, but that isn't really him, is it? Although it would be fun to surprise him with the former, if she'd met most of them...]
Any plans?
no subject
no subject
Well, now I know.
[Not wanting to dwell on the upset turn her stomach is doing, she leans forward, her smile disappearing into a kiss that she presses to his lips, brief and light, before she's biting into her strawberry again, her eyes saying everything that words aren't needed to. They'll cross that bridge when they get there but for now, she's going to make the best of their first real date and take advantage of the fact that they're finally alone again.]
But we'll save that for later.
no subject
When's yours?
no subject
[Her eyes flick to the strawberry where they linger for a moment, then back to him.]
May third, in the spring, but you can worry about that when we get closer. You'll need to plan a party for me, so save some energy.
[She's only teasing! But unlike him, Tifa is a social butterfly who would absolutely want all of her friends to be there to celebrate with her. She never had birthday parties after leaving Nibelheim, so they've become something of a special thing to her these days...]
no subject
I'll keep it in mind.
[And then he's walking over to where he stored the wine and with plate in hand, he continues towards the bathroom before he pauses and looks over at her.]
You're not going to stay over there, are you?
no subject
Of course not. I'm not going to let you have all the wine to yourself.
[And she kicks the door shut behind them.
No peeking!Having spoken of birthdays earlier in the month, it had gotten Tifa started on thinking—what would her ideal birthday be? One with a lot of people, with plenty of food and drinks and laughter to go around, where all of the friends she cared about were there with her. And she'd make the biggest, most delicious cake—strawberry cheesecake, maybe, if she could manage it. She wouldn't need gifts at all, as long as she had everything else.
And now, what was the opposite of that?
It was one of the quieter nights they've spent together. No frills, no fancy restaurants or dresses and suits, but their comfiest clothes and thickest socks to keep them warm, and the best part? No one else but them. It was saddening to know that Gran had left before he could spend Eustace's birthday with him, but she knows that he's gone back home, is safe, and is doing what he does best. And to be honest, she can't exactly complain that they now have someplace to go to be alone without having to spend money to do so, and after Eustace was left like this, she's spent more time here with him, keeping him company, than she hasn't.
They've been able to enjoy a quiet dinner that she prepared for him—the juiciest, biggest steaks she could find in Camelot, along with the important greens to go along with it, and some red wine to compliment the dish, and have finished up the small cake that she had also baked with her own two hands. It was nothing fancy or too sweet—just a light vanilla cake with fresh raspberries, and she hardly feels too full after a helping.
Looking forward to some time to wind down after all that food, Tifa is cleaning up the dishes when she glances over at him.]
So? What'd you think of the cake? It wasn't too sweet, was it?
no subject
At least he's not completely alone. He's realized it before, but it's not until now that it really sinks in he had made connections while here, actually made friendships and relationships. It's more than he expected when he came in over eight months ago. And having an intimate one is beyond his wildest dreams.
Having living independently most of his life, he could live on his own without issue or remorse. However, it would be a lie to say that Tifa's company didn't help ease some of it or bring a bit more color and light to his otherwise simple and quiet life. Rather than change things, she's enhanced them, opened his once narrow view of things. And the more often she stays over, the more often he smils and laughs, the more he feels he could allow himself to relax a little more and enjoy these precious moments.
But he would have a harsh reminder of the reality of their situation.
In the previous few days, he had been feeling strangely lethargic and found himself dozing off at odd times. Having not been one to take many unplanned naps to begin with, that in itself made him wonder if there was something wrong with him, but he didn't think too much about it. It's not until he oversleeps one morning and almost runs late in meeting Tifa that he once again questions his condition. And while Eria usually sleeps with him, she hasn't been around in the past few days. He assumes it's because of Tifa and feeling some weird jealousy, but later that night she finally appears and for the first time looks upset, almost similar to when he had been critically injured during the animal mage hunt attacks.
What she tells him shocks Eustace, and he's left to determine what to do.
And now he and Tifa are celebrating his birthday in a way she clearly thought out for his preferences. It's heartwarming, but whenever she's not looking or is in a different room, he has to press his hand to his forehead, rubbing his eyes as he tries to shake off some drowsiness that's seeping in. He hides it well, never letting Tifa see him tired and not distracting himself with his situation. He just pays attention to her and focuses on the little celebration she worked hard to prepare. It's the least he could do.
While she's doing dishes, he once again feels a wave of drowsiness, and he allows himself a few seconds to close his eyes before he snaps back to attention. There's only a slight moment's delay before he answers.]
...No, it was perfect. You really made it yourself?
no subject
Still, she's been worried about Eustace since the first day it had hit him, and hasn't stopped since, but she's tried to remain calm when it only started to worsen, not wanting to give him more reason for concern.
But then she sees his eyes close, and that delay in his response has her setting the plate in her hands down so that she can cross back to him and hold him steady, her grip firm on both of his arms.]
I did.
[Her smile has faded into worry as she searches his face.]
You should go lie down. I'll join you once I'm done here.
no subject
Honestly, it's painful. More than he expected. He thought he'd just bear with it like he has with everything else, that he would be able to set it all aside and proceed with a hardened heart. Yet whenever he sees her up close, it's as if she's the flames that continue to melt it down. Many times he thought about coming clean, about warning her...
But if she's like this now, then he wouldn't be able to bear seeing her if she knew. He knows it's wrong of him, but he just keeps it to himself.
So he just gives her a tired smile.]
No, it's fine. I've...just been working on something and I overdid it a little yesterday.
[Not quite a lie. But he pulls back so he can stand.]
Let me help you finish up and then we can go in together.
[Small compromise? In truth he'd rather be with her than be alone, not wanting to waste whatever opportunity he had.]
no subject
Fine. But we're going as soon as we're done. ... I just wish you'd stop overworking yourself so much.
[Which won't take too long, thankfully. They make a good team, even in the kitchen, that they make quick work of the cleaning so that by the end of it, it's as if they hadn't been cooking or eating in there at all. The second they finish, she'll close the gap between them again, a heavy smile crossing over her face.]
You don't need me to carry you to bed, do you? I will if I have to.
no subject
If I was that tired we would just forget the bed and stay here.
[His arms go around either side of her waist, turning her a bit as he traps her against the counter, a languid smile gracing his lips as he lowers his face near hers.]
But I'm fine, I promise. It wouldn't take much to wake me up, anyway...
[As if to prove his point, he slowly kisses her first on the lips before he trails down the side of her jaw to her neck.]
no subject
I know.
[Tifa taps a finger against his chin to bring his face level with hers. If she lets him go any further, he might just unwind her and convince her to stay.]
It'd be more comfortable at least.
[Not to mention, he looks tired. She can see how heavy his lids have been, and can feel the tension coiling in his muscles, and for as much as she wouldn't mind a little spontaneity, she would much rather him be relaxed and comfortable.]
no subject
Or perhaps it's hiding a quiet sense of desperation, as if trying to give her everything he can. To engrave every inch of her into his memory while doing the same to her.
As if it might be their last night together.
It's long into the night when he finally lets them rest, Eustace holding Tifa close to him as he buries his face into her hair, nuzzling her. At least right now he feels more awake than ever, everything else forgotten. He probably made it seem whatever fatigue he had was a lie.]
no subject
He'd become more emboldened, more passionate, and the intensity of it all could be felt looming heavy in the room even after they finally lay their heads down to rest next to each other, her fingers combing gently through his hair, her other hand drawing light circles over the planes of his back, holding him close. It had surprised her a little, but not in a bad sense. Quite the opposite, and Tifa had matched him in kind that now, she can feel her eyes growing heavy, her entire body sinking into the bed as they lie there together in silence for a while, listening to his breathing.
It's a bit of a strange buzz after, where she feels so invigorated and awake, but at the same time, she could easily fall asleep if she wanted to. Not that she wants to... Knowing how fickle their time is here, Tifa would always make these moments last as long as she could, even if they would always wake up next to each other the next day.
She nuzzles her own face into his hair, smiling as she breathes in his scent.]
You weren't lying. [That'll show her.] You're feeling better?
no subject
Mmmhm.
[A low rumble as he breathes her in, not wanting to disturb the warmth surrounding them. He always loved the way he could feel her body relaxing against him, how perfectly she seemed to fit into his arms. And yet, there's a bitterness that pricks every now and then, every moment when he thinks he wants to never let this end, he's reminded of their harsh reality.
And when that happens the need to touch and kiss her strengthens, a need that he manages to restrain and subdue it so that when his lips do move to lightly nibble her ear and work at her neck, when his hands do move down her waist a six greedy for more, it comes off more teasing and not too different from other times.]
no subject
This is nice.
[It's a low, timid murmur against his chest. She feels like she shouldn't be saying something like that, considering that Gran leaving is still a fresh wound, but it's the truth.]
Can't remember the last time we were able to spend time like this... that wasn't a hotel or a castle or... a cave.
no subject
But then her words make him smile a little, knowing what she's thinking, and her examples make him chuckle.]
The cave doesn't really count, does it?
[Since they didn't go that far...but no, he knows what she means. And as he pulls her closer to him, once again taking in her warmth and putting it in the perspective that she's in his room, his home—it really does add a bit more personal feel to it.]
But...you're right. This is better.
[His voice is soft, but he feels that bitter ripple as he is reminded that this may be their only time.]
no subject
Like there's not a single worry in the world right now.
Her legs curl around his, and she pulls him closer, humming contentedly to herself.]
You know, I was thinking...
[She blurts out the words before she even realizes where the thought is going, and with a pause, she buries her face in the crook of his neck when she feels it heat up.]
... Never mind. It's stupid.
no subject
What is it?
no subject
[She's quiet a little longer, not even sure where the thought came from or why it came to her so suddenly. It's not as if she hadn't thought about it after Gran left, but would it have been moving too much too fast? Or was Balthier right—would it be better for them to just seize the moment when they had it, because there was no way to tell how long they would have?
Tifa wanted to listen, but there was still that twinge of doubt deep down beneath the happiness being with him brought her, and so she never bothered to bring it up... until she'd just about said it without thinking.]
What if... I stayed here with you? ... Permanently?
no subject
Yet those simple words, that little wish makes him realize he really does want something more between them. It has always been serious, he never imagined himself breaking things off at least, but he never thought too much more beyond the present. The idea of her living with him, sharing his personal space which he had always guarded for himself, even when with Gran...
If this had been in any other place in any other time, he would have only felt the wave of bliss and readily agreed. Hell, he probably would have suggested it himself, likely looking at it from a practical standpoint moreso than emotional, though it would still be there.
He had already had glimpses of what it would be like, already had felt a sense of natural contentment when she was in his house and even back when she was in her apartment, although that had been a little before they got together. But that's how everything between them has been: natural. Natural, beautiful, irreplaceable. She had given him so much and more.
And now...that beautiful dream and what could have been is coming to and end and there's nothing be can do about it.
So there's only a small pause, just a single beat between her words and his response as he pulls himself together before hugging her tightly, burying his face against her hair as he whispers softly.]
Yes.
[Permanently.]
I would like that.
[She'll be able to see and feel a smile, but his eyes are closed as he tries to repress and control and the immense pain that threatens to reveal everything. This is nothing new for him. But he hates it all the same.
And he manages, so that if she did look up she would be able to see that her words had a profound impact on him but not necessarily how exactly.]
no subject
In the morning, I'll make us some breakfast, and we can talk about it more then.
[As if there was anything to talk about, but if they were going to do this, they'd need to establish a few things, surely. That wasn't something worth talking about now though, not like this, but at least he's agreeable to it, and it didn't turn into an embarrassing slip-up.
There's a pause, the silence filled with a breathy laugh from her, and Tifa finally pushes herself away just far enough to look at him.]
I've got a gift for you too, but I don't feel like getting up.
[She doesn't feel like getting up right now.]
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the end. 💞 ... for now. (once upon a dream plays softly in the distance)