isleofavalon | ninth shot ⊗ closed december catchall

[Her head tips, and she looks down to the knife, then back up at him.]

Hm? Not even on your birthday?

[Maybe that's just an odd thing for her to think of. Growing up, Tifa had plenty of friends who would come to any parties her parents hosted, including birthdays, and each kid would always be showered with gifts on theirs. They were never anything extravagant or expensive, but they were thoughtful and meant something.

... The thought makes her aware of another detail that she's missed.]

When is it anyway?

[Just a slight shake of his head.]

I was never really close with anyone until recently and usually too busy and indifferent about it to begin with. It's only in the last couple of years that I started exchanging small gifts for the holidays.

Birthdays... [There's a small pause before his eyes widen slightly as he realizes something.]

...It's probably soon. It's the last day of the year, near the height of the winter season. December 31st.

[He phrases it that way because of how calendars likely differ.]

[For the sake of convenience—]

That's so soon.

[And for a beat, she considers asking if he wanted or was going to do anything special—a get together with friends, or perhaps a nice dinner somewhere, but that isn't really him, is it? Although it would be fun to surprise him with the former, if she'd met most of them...]

Any plans?

Not really. To be honest I would have forgotten about it if you hadn't asked.

[Hearing that... makes her kind of sad... but at least now she knows that it's coming up and can plan something accordingly. Even if it will be something simple, perhaps with just the two of them. Whatever it is, she's going to make sure that it's both fun and quiet. A peaceful birthday, but still one that he deserves.]

Well, now I know.

[Not wanting to dwell on the upset turn her stomach is doing, she leans forward, her smile disappearing into a kiss that she presses to his lips, brief and light, before she's biting into her strawberry again, her eyes saying everything that words aren't needed to. They'll cross that bridge when they get there but for now, she's going to make the best of their first real date and take advantage of the fact that they're finally alone again.]

But we'll save that for later.

[He smiles a bit at the soft, sweet taste of the kiss, brief as it was. The idea of sharing his birthday with anyone would have been an annoying thought in the past, but now it doesn't seem so bad. He starts reaching for the strawberries, and idea in mind, but pauses.]

When's yours?

Not soon enough that you need to worry about it right now.

[Her eyes flick to the strawberry where they linger for a moment, then back to him.]

May third, in the spring, but you can worry about that when we get closer. You'll need to plan a party for me, so save some energy.

[She's only teasing! But unlike him, Tifa is a social butterfly who would absolutely want all of her friends to be there to celebrate with her. She never had birthday parties after leaving Nibelheim, so they've become something of a special thing to her these days...]

[May... It's a few months away, but when he thinks about how long they've known each other, doesn't it mean they just missed it when they first met? Not that it matters... Probably. But a big party, huh? He cracks a smile as he reaches for the plate and stands, taking it with him.]

I'll keep it in mind.

[And then he's walking over to where he stored the wine and with plate in hand, he continues towards the bathroom before he pauses and looks over at her.]

You're not going to stay over there, are you?

[She watches him go, taking the strawberries and wine with him, knowing full well where this is going to lead when he stops at the door to the bathroom, and she takes a few moments to admire him from afar, as if she's—once again—memorizing every detail before she's pushing herself off the bed with a giggle, and practically leaping across the room to him, only to wrap her arms around his waist and shuffle him through the door.]

Of course not. I'm not going to let you have all the wine to yourself.

[And she kicks the door shut behind them. ~~No peeking!~~

✨✨✨

Having spoken of birthdays earlier in the month, it had gotten Tifa started on thinking—what would her ideal birthday be? One with a lot of people, with plenty of food and drinks and laughter to go around, where all of the friends she cared about were there with her. And she'd make the biggest, most delicious cake—strawberry cheesecake, maybe, if she could manage it. She wouldn't need gifts at all, as long as she had everything else.

And now, what was the opposite of that?

It was one of the quieter nights they've spent together. No frills, no fancy restaurants or dresses and suits, but their comfiest clothes and thickest socks to keep them warm, and the best part? No one else but them. It was saddening to know that Gran had left before he could spend Eustace's birthday with him, but she knows that he's gone back home, is safe, and is doing what he does best. And to be honest, she can't exactly complain that they now have someplace to go to be alone without having to spend money to do so, and after Eustace was left like this, she's spent more time here with him, keeping him company, than she hasn't.

They've been able to enjoy a quiet dinner that she prepared for him—the juiciest, biggest steaks she could find in Camelot, along with the important greens to go along with it, and some red wine to compliment the dish, and have finished up the small cake that she had also baked with her own two hands. It was nothing fancy or too sweet—just a light vanilla cake with fresh raspberries, and she hardly feels too full after a helping.

Looking forward to some time to wind down after all that food, Tifa is cleaning up the dishes when she glances over at him.]

So? What'd you think of the cake? It wasn't too sweet, was it?

Edited 2021-12-29 23:01 (UTC)

[He had been a bit melancholic after Gran's departure and still is, but he also feels a little relieved in knowing he's back in their world... Although the whole "everything is frozen because this world couldn't control itself" is still a problem, one that he continues to feel frustrated that there's little progress in it. He knows time is needed, but seeing progress is difficult.

At least he's not completely alone. He's realized it before, but it's not until now that it really sinks in he had made connections while here, actually made friendships and relationships. It's more than he expected when he came in over eight months ago. And having an intimate one is beyond his wildest dreams.

Having living independently most of his life, he could live on his own without issue or remorse. However, it would be a lie to say that Tifa's company didn't help ease some of it or bring a bit more color and light to his otherwise simple and quiet life. Rather than change things, she's enhanced them, opened his once narrow view of things. And the more often she stays over, the more often he smils and laughs, the more he feels he could allow himself to relax a little more and enjoy these precious moments.

But he would have a harsh reminder of the reality of their situation.

In the previous few days, he had been feeling strangely lethargic and found himself dozing off at odd times. Having not been one to take many unplanned naps to begin with, that in itself made him wonder if there was something wrong with him, but he didn't think too much about it. It's not until he oversleeps one morning and almost runs late in meeting Tifa that he once again questions his condition. And while Eria usually sleeps with him, she hasn't been around in the past few days. He assumes it's because of Tifa and feeling some weird jealousy, but later that night she finally appears and for the first time looks upset, almost similar to when he had been critically injured during the animal mage hunt attacks.

What she tells him shocks Eustace, and he's left to determine what to do.

And now he and Tifa are celebrating his birthday in a way she clearly thought out for his preferences. It's heartwarming, but whenever she's not looking or is in a different room, he has to press his hand to his forehead, rubbing his eyes as he tries to shake off some drowsiness that's seeping in. He hides it well, never letting Tifa see him tired and not distracting himself with his situation. He just pays attention to her and focuses on the little celebration she worked hard to prepare. It's the least he could do.

While she's doing dishes, he once again feels a wave of drowsiness, and he allows himself a few seconds to close his eyes before he snaps back to attention. There's only a slight moment's delay before he answers.]

...No, it was perfect. You really made it yourself?

[She's pretended up until now not to notice how he's been much more tired than usual. The last couple of days when she's stopped by, he'd seemed... fatigued, almost sick, but assumed that it had been a cold, or even the flu plaguing him. It was "that time of year", wasn't it? With how cold it's been, she wouldn't doubt that their immune systems weren't running at full capacity. She'd tell him to rest, and bring him plenty of water and blankets, insisting that he rest while she takes care of everything else, but that was as much as she could do, lest she wound his pride even more.

Still, she's been worried about Eustace since the first day it had hit him, and hasn't stopped since, but she's tried to remain calm when it only started to worsen, not wanting to give him more reason for concern.

But then she sees his eyes close, and that delay in his response has her setting the plate in her hands down so that she can cross back to him and hold him steady, her grip firm on both of his arms.]

I did.

[Her smile has faded into worry as she searches his face.]

You should go lie down. I'll join you once I'm done here.

[He looks at her when she approaches, something unreadable flashing over his eyes. Just like he's trying to hide the worst of it, he can tell she's also trying not to express too much worry over him.

Honestly, it's painful. More than he expected. He thought he'd just bear with it like he has with everything else, that he would be able to set it all aside and proceed with a hardened heart. Yet whenever he sees her up close, it's as if she's the flames that continue to melt it down. Many times he thought about coming clean, about warning her...

But if she's like this now, then he wouldn't be able to bear seeing her if she knew. He knows it's wrong of him, but he just keeps it to himself.

So he just gives her a tired smile.]

No, it's fine. I've...just been working on something and I overdid it a little yesterday.

[Not quite a lie. But he pulls back so he can stand.]

Let me help you finish up and then we can go in together.

[Small compromise? In truth he'd rather be with her than be alone, not wanting to waste whatever opportunity he had.]

Edited 2021-12-30 17:11 (UTC)

[She hesitates, holding him still a little longer before she concedes with a defeated nod. Tifa typically wouldn't hear another word and would usher him off to bed immediately, but... there's something about the way he looks down at her that makes her want to keep him right there. The dishes could wait, but she wouldn't be able to rest soundly knowing that there would be work for her to do in the morning.]

Fine. But we're going as soon as we're done. ... I just wish you'd stop overworking yourself so much.

[Which won't take too long, thankfully. They make a good team, even in the kitchen, that they make quick work of the cleaning so that by the end of it, it's as if they hadn't been cooking or eating in there at all. The second they finish, she'll close the gap between them again, a heavy smile crossing over her face.]

You don't need me to carry you to bed, do you? I will if I have to.

[He just laughs quietly before he follows after her. Keeping himself busy allows him to not think about his current "condition," and even such a simple task of washing dishes with Tifa makes him feel more at peace and calm than he has in a while. And once they're done, he just grins a bit.]

If I was that tired we would just forget the bed and stay here.

[His arms go around either side of her waist, turning her a bit as he traps her against the counter, a languid smile gracing his lips as he lowers his face near hers.]

But I'm fine, I promise. It wouldn't take much to wake me up, anyway...

[As if to prove his point, he slowly kisses her first on the lips before he trails down the side of her jaw to her neck.]

[She allows him room to roam, her own arms snaking up and around his neck while the smallest of sighs escapes her. They could just stay here, but the counter digging into her back forces her to shift so that she's closer to him than it.]

I know.

[Tifa taps a finger against his chin to bring his face level with hers. If she lets him go any further, he might just unwind her and convince her to stay.]

It'd be more comfortable at least.

[Not to mention, he looks tired. She can see how heavy his lids have been, and can feel the tension coiling in his muscles, and for as much as she wouldn't mind a little spontaneity, she would much rather him be relaxed and comfortable.]

[He only looks at her, that little flame of desire already lit and growing as his only response is to counter with another kiss, this time more impassioned and needy than the last. His arms wrap around her, one around her lower back and the other around her hips as he pulls her back and upward, lifting her up to carry her to his room. He doesn't slow down from there, as if trying to prove that he's not as tired as she thinks.

Or perhaps it's hiding a quiet sense of desperation, as if trying to give her everything he can. To engrave every inch of her into his memory while doing the same to her.

As if it might be their last night together.

It's long into the night when he finally lets them rest, Eustace holding Tifa close to him as he buries his face into her hair, nuzzling her. At least right now he feels more awake than ever, everything else forgotten. He probably made it seem whatever fatigue he had was a lie.]

[There was something different that night.

He'd become more emboldened, more passionate, and the intensity of it all could be felt looming heavy in the room even after they finally lay their heads down to rest next to each other, her fingers combing gently through his hair, her other hand drawing light circles over the planes of his back, holding him close. It had surprised her a little, but not in a bad sense. Quite the opposite, and Tifa had matched him in kind that now, she can feel her eyes growing heavy, her entire body sinking into the bed as they lie there together in silence for a while, listening to his breathing.

It's a bit of a strange buzz after, where she feels so invigorated and awake, but at the same time, she could easily fall asleep if she wanted to. Not that she wants to... Knowing how fickle their time is here, Tifa would always make these moments last as long as she could, even if they would always wake up next to each other the next day.

She nuzzles her own face into his hair, smiling as she breathes in his scent.]

You weren't lying. [That'll show her.] You're feeling better?

[He just lightly laughs as he softly kisses the side of her hair and then down to he ear.]

Mmmhm.

[A low rumble as he breathes her in, not wanting to disturb the warmth surrounding them. He always loved the way he could feel her body relaxing against him, how perfectly she seemed to fit into his arms. And yet, there's a bitterness that pricks every now and then, every moment when he thinks he wants to never let this end, he's reminded of their harsh reality.

And when that happens the need to touch and kiss her strengthens, a need that he manages to restrain and subdue it so that when his lips do move to lightly nibble her ear and work at her neck, when his hands do move down her waist a six greedy for more, it comes off more teasing and not too different from other times.]

[If he isn't careful, he might force them into another round, and Tifa tries not to lean too much into it to save them from that fate—although would it be so terrible? It's not like she has anywhere important to be right now or in the morning. But no, she reins herself back in, the small noises turning into soft sighs as she curls right up against him.]

This is nice.

[It's a low, timid murmur against his chest. She feels like she shouldn't be saying something like that, considering that Gran leaving is still a fresh wound, but it's the truth.]

Can't remember the last time we were able to spend time like this... that wasn't a hotel or a castle or... a cave.

[As always, even if he doesn't fully intend to go through with it, her receptive responses only tempt him. It's so strange to think that one person could make him feel such a deep attraction and want, to throw away all inhibitions and follows his instincts. And as tempting as it is to follow those instincts to ignore her attempts and try and push further to change her mind, he stops as well. There's still something he needs to do for her so he can't get carried away.

But then her words make him smile a little, knowing what she's thinking, and her examples make him chuckle.]

The cave doesn't really count, does it?

[Since they didn't go that far...but no, he knows what she means. And as he pulls her closer to him, once again taking in her warmth and putting it in the perspective that she's in his room, his home—it really does add a bit more personal feel to it.]

But...you're right. This is better.

[His voice is soft, but he feels that bitter ripple as he is reminded that this may be their only time.]

[She gives a nod in agreement, gentle into his hair, and Tifa closes her eyes. A comfortable silence follows as she thinks back to all the times they had found some time to be alone like this, and how they compared to now. Not that she would change anything about any of the previous trysts they've had, but there's something to be said about it being in his home, in his bed... She doesn't feel like they're rushing against the clock... That they could easily stay here for hours and hours and not have to care about someone finding them or having to check out in the morning.

Like there's not a single worry in the world right now.

Her legs curl around his, and she pulls him closer, humming contentedly to herself.]

You know, I was thinking...

[She blurts out the words before she even realizes where the thought is going, and with a pause, she buries her face in the crook of his neck when she feels it heat up.]

... Never mind. It's stupid.

[Pushing aside the negative shadows that try to creep on, he closes his eyes and just enjoys the moment, to accept that he's always wanted and has at least finally experienced this kind of relaxed peace. That said when he feels himself dozing off, he forces himself awake and tilts his head a fraction.]

What is it?

...

[She's quiet a little longer, not even sure where the thought came from or why it came to her so suddenly. It's not as if she hadn't thought about it after Gran left, but would it have been moving too much too fast? Or was Balthier right—would it be better for them to just seize the moment when they had it, because there was no way to tell how long they would have?

Tifa wanted to listen, but there was still that twinge of doubt deep down beneath the happiness being with him brought her, and so she never bothered to bring it up... until she'd just about said it without thinking.]

What if... I stayed here with you? ... Permanently?

[Eustace stiffens, and he's glad she's hiding her face so she can't immediately see the expression on his. He should be happy, yet it's as if those words shattered the walls he had been trying to build up again, to not let his emotions get in his way. To not make him feel the pain of regret, frustration, and loss anymore than he already did.

Yet those simple words, that little wish makes him realize he really does want something more between them. It has always been serious, he never imagined himself breaking things off at least, but he never thought too much more beyond the present. The idea of her living with him, sharing his personal space which he had always guarded for himself, even when with Gran...

If this had been in any other place in any other time, he would have only felt the wave of bliss and readily agreed. Hell, he probably would have suggested it himself, likely looking at it from a practical standpoint moreso than emotional, though it would still be there.

He had already had glimpses of what it would be like, already had felt a sense of natural contentment when she was in his house and even back when she was in her apartment, although that had been a little before they got together. But that's how everything between them has been: natural. Natural, beautiful, irreplaceable. She had given him so much and more.

And now...that beautiful dream and what could have been is coming to and end and there's nothing be can do about it.

So there's only a small pause, just a single beat between her words and his response as he pulls himself together before hugging her tightly, burying his face against her hair as he whispers softly.]

Yes.

[Permanently.]

I would like that.

[She'll be able to see and feel a smile, but his eyes are closed as he tries to repress and control and the immense pain that threatens to reveal everything. This is nothing new for him. But he hates it all the same.

And he manages, so that if she did look up she would be able to see that her words had a profound impact on him but not necessarily how exactly.]

[She doesn't move from where she is, happy to stay curled up in his arms like this for as long as time will allow, but she can hear it in his voice, and it's all she needs to make that decision. Aerith would understand... and it's not like they won't ever see each other again. Tifa would visit often... but she'd be lying to herself if she said she wasn't happiest when she was here, with him. That being with him was more than enough to chase off all of the bad thoughts that she would often fall into when she wasn't. Perhaps that part is a little selfish, but in the end, what mattered was that he makes her happy and she hopes it's the same for him.]

In the morning, I'll make us some breakfast, and we can talk about it more then.

[As if there was anything to talk about, but if they were going to do this, they'd need to establish a few things, surely. That wasn't something worth talking about now though, not like this, but at least he's agreeable to it, and it didn't turn into an embarrassing slip-up.

There's a pause, the silence filled with a breathy laugh from her, and Tifa finally pushes herself away just far enough to look at him.]

I've got a gift for you too, but I don't feel like getting up.

[She doesn't feel like getting up right now.]

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