isleofavalon | I feel so cold and I long for your embrace

[Hendrik collects his outerwear from the stand in the foyer, engrossed in going over the quest details before he's out the door. He blinks when he realizes Jasper is right there by the entryway.]

Yes. There was a request posted for a monster slaying out towards the farmlands.

[He is about to ask if he wants to come along before he bites his tongue.]

[Hendrik's mention of a quest - and where the monster is haunting - barely raises an eyebrow. His mind is focused on important facts. This man going out alone, facing monsters like he has throughout his life. They had been forced to be alone for so long that it feels criminal to ignore this opportunity.

He wrinkles his nose as other worries surface. The less he mentions of his concern the better.]

Do you require assistance?

[There are a few seconds of silence as Hendrik processes Jasper's question, surprise slow to dawn upon him. Should he question Jasper's inquiry...?]

The request is to slay ten. I expected to be out the entire day to try to hunt them down.

[He pauses, carefully looking at the other man.]

If you come along, it will be considerably faster.

[Jasper says nothing for a while. He looks elsewhere in the wall - from the stand to the lounge on his right and the kitchen down the hall - and loses his mind in thought. There is no joy in this hunt. His heart hardly beats with excitement. He grits his teeth and closes his eyes, finding his resolve.

These monsters are not his kin. What is the problem?]

Very well. I suppose I ought keep my eye on you.

[He nods, refraining from showing much emotion lest Jasper take it the wrong way. He is still considerably confused by the offer, and he distracts himself by looking over to the lounge to avert his eyes.]

Come then, prepare yourself. I will grab a few things from the kitchen for a quick meal while we are out there.

[He would have had to grab something from the kitchen either way, but this time he will make sure to take double the amount of food. A few apples, two of those granola bars that proved better than trail mix some days. Bars of chocolate. His magical refilling mug, filled with hot water and secured in the bag for travel.]

[The disappearance of his companion prompts him to tread upstairs. Into his room, towards his wardrobe; hand extending to tug his jumper off its hanger. He pulls it over his head without fanfare and strides into the bathroom to check his face. He averts from his eyes, a distracting shade of red. One minute to wash his face and tie his hair and he is heading downstairs. Calling out an order - or perhaps a suggestion?]

Pack some chocolate.

[He stands again in the hallway, hardly knowing Hendrik has done so.]

[There is something oddly comforting in a pack heavy with more food than he himself can eat -- something missed, despite sharing a house with this man. He nods as he returns to the hallway, stepping away long enough to strap his greatsword over his coat.]

We should have enough for the day. I would not want to stay out beyond sunset.

[Perhaps it's the weather. Perhaps it's the knowledge of two burnt cities beyond the reaches of Camelot. Whatever the reason, he has not spent a night outside since.]

Let us go.

[Their journey takes the better part of the morning. Two hours at least before he manages to los ehold of his patience. He barely knows where to look as they carry on walking towards the farmland past the edge of town; they are not close enough to begin investigating whatever nonsense this is.

He passes by the last few houses with a dark frown and a stern grimace. His eyes narrow at a nearby tavern and he begins thinking about how he could be anywhere else but here. Both feet walk at a pace to get himself up to speed. Perhaps that is the reason for his mood this morning? There is a little frustration in his voice as he catches up to his companion.]

What is the precise nature of this assignment?

[Hendrik preoccupies himself during the walk, finding it easier to focus on things he could be improving or jobs he could be taking rather than think about the man he is traveling with today. While he has stopped avoiding Jasper and returned to the relatively quiet home life from months ago, he still has difficulty accepting the reality that is this callous, uncaring man.

Still, he answers when asked a question.]

The request itself is short. This fairy that has appeared looks much like a zombie, but it steals food. That is unforgivable during a time like this, with Camelot's resources stretched thin.

[Jasper continues walking, pacing to match a man who seems happy to leave him behind. His focus lacks outside diversion, his response short as can be expected. He thinks entirely about this man he is travelling with. His stubborn black and white point of view needs addressing.]

Perhaps it thieves food to sustain itself, Hendrik. Do you have no concept of clemency?

[It is easier to believe monsters - creatures as they are - are capable of more innocent reasons than humans.]

I have little patience for those thieving food from those already in need. Fairies already seem to exist outside of the justice system of Camelot. Should I simply accept that a fairy desires to steal food?

[It is a rigid mindset from someone who can generally be kind to others.]

Would it matter if I said no?

[There is no desire to press the argument when his audience is unwilling to listen. Sixteen years have been wasted on forcing himself on with some hope of acknowledgement. Not again, he swears. He lets out a long sigh.]

Really, Hendrik. You are as stubborn as a mule.

[Hendrik stops walking, turning his head to look at Jasper. He works his jaw silently, tension and frustration obvious in every fiber of his body.

But he says nothing, simply staring at his old friend for a long moment before starting to walk again.]

[Silence. Jasper understands it perfectly. He shows less tension than his old friend, thought and worry bothering his face for a moment.

He continues walking but at a slower pace.]

You cannot ignore the fact we have changed, Hendrik.

I am perfectly aware.

[As far as he is concerned, he isn't ignoring it. He's just refusing to acknowledge what he sees as bait for an argument.]

Perhaps stubbornness is the only reason we are here.

Perhaps. Regardless, I am glad you are here.

[Jasper closes his eyes and mulls over his words; his heart beating lighter now they are talking. Indeed. Perhaps this is one of those rare times for honesty.]

I do not know why. I am hardly contributing to your livelihood.

[They do not have shared goals. They do not have shared mindsets. They do not have shared morals. Why Jasper wants anything to do with him even after completely forsaking Heliodor and the whole of Erdrea is beyond him.

His own desires are comparatively simple. Stubbornness. Sentimentality.]

How can you not understand?

[His nose wrinkles as his mind darts around the thought he just doesn't matter anymore. It is troubling enough that he speaks more than he ought.]

Is it not enough to hear I missed you? Must I further embarrass myself?

[Those words prompt Hendrik to stop again, and he frowns deeply as he looks at Jasper.]

It must be such an embarrassment to say such things at the end of the world.

[He is about to start walking again when he decides it would be better to say more while standing still.]

I missed our camaraderie. I missed fighting side by side. However, I accepted it, knowing we all have our roles to play and we were still doing our best for the kingdom.

Knight captain. Adjunct. Master-at-arms. Cavalry trainer. It would not have mattered to me.

[Jasper returns that stare with a searching gaze. His face is neutral with emotion as he exercises his mind and tries to grasp his old friend's viewpoint. That innocent willingness to be by his side without rank or ceremony. To enjoy his company and have that be enough. It was never enough once, well...

Obviously, he would have said back in the past.

Now he is unwilling to argue. Afraid to rock the boat and overturn this peace.]

I know. You have never been insistant on the observance of formalities. I used to think...

[Well, he had stopped thinking. One monster had seen to that.]

[The staring goes on overly long. Hendrik looks away and returns to walking.]

I did not miss you, Jasper. Not truly. I rested assured that you would always be there. That you would be there to make the right decisions for the kingdom. That you would be there, across the hall.

[He almost stops again as he stops talking for a moment.]

So when that was no longer the case, I realized what a fool I was.

[The staring is beginning to make him look uncomfortably at himself and he is grateful it ends. He walks alongside his companion and finds himself hoping they can walk together as equals. His lip twitches in the corner and he presses it flat.

It is hardly the time to laugh. Perhaps he can share his amusement later.]

You hardly needed to wait sixteen years to realize you are a fool. I could have told you that when we were boys.

As I recall, you often did.

[Age did nothing to curb Jasper's penchant for insults and foul words.

There is no laughter or nostalgic tint to his voice, and Hendrik sighs and shakes his head to himself. No words follow, his thoughts paralyzed on where to go from there.]

[Hendrik and his motions and movements prompt him to open his mouth - but like his old friend he falls silent in a second. He shakes his head in parallel, sighing with thumb and forefinger pinching the bridge of his nose.

Drop the conversation? Fine. He can look around for an excuse.]

With this being your mission you could at least share what we are searching for.

[There is nothing he can see yet that would bring them out here.]

Something that looks like a zombie. A living corpse.

[Hendrik keeps his replies short for now, still unsure what to do with the brief reflection of their past. It is somewhat a relief to say such things, but there is a feeling of dislike, knowing that Jasper would chide him for focusing on the past.

It takes some time looking through the fields, but he does eventually see a lone, bedraggled figure shuffling along the fields, moving towards the homes. Even a fair distance away, the figure is unnaturally thin, which leads him to hurry in that direction.]

You. Stop!

[Perhaps surprisingly, the creature slowly stops and looks at them. It smells of rot and groans, opaque eyes staring in their direction. This all makes Hendrik pause; he wasn't expecting a responsive zombie.]

[Jasper turns his head and struggles to decide whether to focus upon that strange bedraggled figure or his travelling companion. It is less of a shock for him to witness such things; the state of his homeland alone had brought the dead out their graves. He had barked orders at armored skeletons missing their heads and dragons made from bone. One of his collaborators had been especially sentient in making sure darkness spread out from the castle.

Every piece of experience has lead him to at least expect a responsive zombie more than Hendrik, clearly. The man had slain enough of them before coming here to miss that some monsters could speak without tongues, perhaps? No matter.

He says nothing and watches to see what will happen. This creature has no kinship to him, here.]

[Everything about this creature heavily reminds Hendrik of the monsters that started cropping up after the Fall, seemingly borne from the darkness and forsaken earth; the smell of rot invades his nose, bringing a grimace to his face as his fingers itch for his sword.]

What are you doing here?

[The creature (fairy?) groans, lidless eyes vaguely focused in their direction. After a moment of frustration, Hendrik growls in return.]

Go back to wherever you came from. You are disturbing the peace.

[It groans again, sounds rattling in its throat as it starts picking at its ragged clothes. From its baggy, torn shirt comes a dirty plate-shaped dish, which it holds out with a groan. Hendrik's stern expression wavers briefly into confusion, then suspicion.]

[The corner of his lip twitches, twists and turns into a frown. From feeling no connection to the people in this land, he now feels connected to a creature who has nobody and nothing. His stomach growls - or rather, his memory of it when he was a boy in a dilapidated home. He holds out his hand without looking at Hendrik.]

Give me my chocolate.

[It is probably obvious what he plans to do with it.]

[Jasper's request (read: demand) serves to distract Hendrik from the fairy's continued groaning, his suspicion clearing long enough for him to shoot a vaguely incredulous "Now?" look at the other man. Still, Hendrik reaches into his bag and pulls out one of the bars of chocolate, handing it over to Jasper.

The fairy seems to perk up (as much as it can perk up) at the crinkling sound of the chocolate moving from Hendrik's bag, and it lifts up its dirty dish with a particularly loud groan while moving in Jasper's direction. This just bewilders Hendrik, positioning himself between Jasper and the apparent threat.]

Careful now -- I told you to leave!

[He seizes the chocolate bar without offering a thankful word, already moving to offer it across the divide to the shambling fae. Hendrik, driven by some strange protective instinct, drives himself into his path and traps behind his back. A strong warning is barked and he narrows his eyes - knowing full well he is capable of defending himself. But still, to be valued so highly as someone worth protecting...

His gaze loses its anger and he steps out from behind to drop the chocolate in the bowl.]

Enjoy, friend.

[It is easy to be polite when monsters have long been his friends over humans.]

[Another warning dies on Hendrik's lips when he sees Jasper take the chocolate bar and drop it into the fairy's shallow bowl, his confusion obvious as he looks between the two like he's been left in the dark of some joke. The fairy groans again, lowering its dish with the bar of chocolate and seemingly looking at it with its milky eyes. Then it starts shambling away and towards the fields, holding its dish close all the while.

Hendrik opens his mouth to say something, and then seems to reconsider. A long moment later, the words finally come:]

What ... was that?

[The question draws his attention back from the field. His gaze lingers on the fairy as it shambles away, its stumbling gait moving it to and fro. His lips press into a thin line when he realizes the answer to his companion's question. He refuses to answer for a while, but time drags by, leaving him exposes second by second.

He lets out a breath and pins his hair behind his ear.]

Charity.

[Jasper's answer prompts a surprised blink from Hendrik, and he turns his stare to focus on the fairy slowly going on its way. It hadn't attacked, hadn't even reached aggressively for the chocolate as he handed it to Jasper. In disbelief, he reaches for his phone and pulls up the request again to make sure he had not completely misinterpreted it.

But no, that was not what had happened here.]

It was not attacking.

Do you believe all monsters think of violence?

[Jasper turns and looks at Hendrik. The fairy loses his attention while shambling into the fields. This man is who needs his focus, now.]

My knowledge of this land's beasts is limited, to be sure. But those creatures we are familiar with are not all driven to dangerous extremes.

I am aware.

[They do have familiars that are monsters from their world, after all. Still, Hendrik contemplates the request for a long moment before shaking his head and pocketing his phone with a sigh.]

This was an unnecessary venture, then. A misinformed request, a fairy misunderstood. A trip wasted.

[And no payment either, though they are not in dire straits in regards to money.]

[He remembers enough of the quest to infer what his partner is thinking. "Misunderstood" makes it plain and honestly? He doesn't feel this is a fantastic loss. It does beg the question of money for the future, though.]

You are unwilling to hunt and slay more?

There are monsters in this land that do attack, but if this is the nature of this fairy...

[He trails off, contemplating again.]

I suppose we should see how another one acts before I make such broad assumptions. I am not encouraged by this encounter, though.

[That is to say, he doesn't think it a worthy reason to kill the creature.]

[Jasper makes a small noise of bemusement. Were he a man who shrugs his shoulders, he would do so. He simply lets his hands rest by his sides and narrows his eyes in thought.]

Then the creature is more fortunate than its appearance suggests.

[In more ways than one.]

[That seems like a strange conclusion for one to arrive at, and Hendrik blinks slowly at the other man.]

What do you mean? Fortunate that I did not kill it?

[There is no delay in answering. Fortunately, these questions are simple.]

Indeed. But enough about these fae. Do you wish to continue standing here or shall we be on our way?

[He has been rather distracted, hasn't he? Hendrik shakes himself, nodding in agreement before carefully asking a question.]

After we check another of these creatures, shall we, ah-- Shall we look into eating dinner?

[Though he is hazarding such a suggestion, Hendrik sounds rather comfortable, as if having decided on eating out rather than eating their packed food had crossed his mind earlier.]

With your buoyant mood I believe that should be an excellent idea. I do fancy a good sandwich.

[Hendrik might not be happy at this moment but it is a marked improvement on an hour before. He is glad for this welcome change.]

[Jasper's mention of his mood has Hendrik grimacing, but he accepts it with no comment. He closes his bag and looks off in the direction of the zombie-like fairy once more, then turns down towards the houses on the edge of the farmlands.]

Then ... let us be off. It will be a welcome change to return to the house before it is too dark.

I feel so cold and I long for your embrace

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