isleofavalon | Be Bold, Be Bold, But Not Too Bold

"Oh get off your bloody cloud. I don't care what you are. You called us here so don't act so high and mighty. Christ. How arrogant can you be." And he really didn't like it speaking. It gave him chills up and down his spine and made cold sweat break out on his neck.

But he'd be damned if he gave it the pleasure of acting like it.

As for the suggestion of games....

"No."

Crowley gave his head a little shake, trying to let Aziraphale down gently on the whole 'singing songs' idea. No one wanted to hear that off key caterwauling. He snagged himself a biscuit though and one of those dried up prune-like things that must once have been an apricot.

"Scared of a bloke who stood around guarding doorways all day?"

Crowley smirked. He never had been! In his experience gateway Guardians turned out to be rather fun companions, fussy maybe, but he was keeping his.

"Anyway we're all fair and equal now. Whatever grandiose powers you might have had have been snatched and replaced with with the same training wheels everyone else has."

Aziraphale sighed, but accepted that they wouldn't play any games or sing any jaunty songs, and consoled himself with a biscuit before offering the tin up towards Alec, even while expecting it to be turned away, untouched.

"Perhaps," Lamassu conceded. "But we could do more if someone was not remiss about their training."

"Can we please talk about literally anything else?"

"Oh are we badgering Fell about training now?" There was oddly enough a ginger biscuit, which Alec considered a miracle frankly, and took it.

"He'll get to it in his own time and his own way. And maybe if you worked with him rather than lording over him like some judgmental...whatever the hell you are it would be easier." He didn't say maybe you could tie an éclair on a string and wave it in front of him to act as motivation, but he was thinking it.

"He has been training."

What a wicked demon he was bringing this up and how he beamed about it!

"It just hasn't been your sort of training. It's been WAY more fun than that. Lot's of long evenings."

Aziraphale fondly rolled his eyes at Crowley. He was grateful, though, for their defense of him, each in their own unique way, though he'd be decidedly less grateful if he heard anything about that éclair idea.

"If you are trying to embarrass us with tales of your frequent sexual activities, Anthony Crowley, we are aware and we do not embarrass so easily." Lamassu looked as stonefaced as ever. "However, if you no longer require our presence, Principality Aziraphale, we will be leaving until such time as our assistance is again required. There are other matters elsewhere that need attending to."

The angel nodded, and his familiar disappeared in a blink.

"We probably shouldn't antagonize him, really." Not that Aziraphale looked all that sorry about it.

He didn't want to think about their sex life and yet it was right there unable to be looked away from. He couldn't help but imagine it being very noisy full of obnoxious tittering and almost wish he'd drowned somehow in the dampness of the cave. He'd have plenty of time in the river, but maybe in the meantime he should stare into the sun so that he parts of the brain that held his imagination were fried.

"If he's going to be obnoxious then he has it coming." But Alec was glad he was gone. "How far away are we from this bloody bridge?"

"If its something we shouldn't do then that's all the more reason to do it."

The bit of apricot he had snagged earlier was popped into his mouth.

"Not much fun though is he? Too stone-faced."

"You're awful, both of you are awful." He picked out another apricot for himself and then selected a dried slice of apple and held it in offering to Crowley. "But no, not much fun at all. And I think Lamassu's especially disappointed with you, Alec. He knew Crowley would be a troublemaker, but he seemed to think you'd be on his side about the training part, at least."

The route had been fairly simple and Aziraphale didn't even need to consult the map again to answer Alec's question.

"We're almost there. Actually, the village should be straight ahead just after this turn. The bridge looks to be north of it."

"You didn't ask to be here, you didn't ask to do this." He shook his head. "If it wants you to bloody train so much it should give you some incentive. And you don't see this one pestering Anthony to get off his arse." He patted Shadow's neck. "You should tell it to piss off."

He squinted at the town as they came upon it. It was a shanty town obviously. The poorer of the kingdom, he imagined. Even here in what was supposed to be Avalon, it was nice to know grinding poverty still existed. Adding to the general discomfort was the distant sound of rushing water.

"Fucks sake," he muttered under his breath.

"Shadow is as much of a screw up as I am. "

He spoke while snagging that offered bit of apple and giving Aziraphale a wry smile over it. The symbolism wasn't lost on him.

"He probably picked me so he could run around all day."

The Pooka's tail flicked but Shadow gave no indication that was wrong. There had been other reasons! But... he did enjoy running around and causing mischief. Shadow trotted on, gaining just a little more speed until they were at the base of a very odd looking bridge. It went halfway out and just stopped so Shadow too stopped. Jogging across an unfinished bridge was outside of his range of skills.

"Um... where is the rest of it?"

"You're not a screw up and neither is he. Look how he came to our aid! He's a very good pooka--just look at him, strutting around with Alec. And he's shown so much restraint, too. I think both of you are surprisingly supportive and very loyal. A perfect match."

He beamed proudly at Crowley and snuck a quick kiss on his cheek. And actively avoided discussing Lamassu.

And then, after a village that deserved better, they came upon, well, sort of a bridge.

"Oh dear. I wonder what the challenge might be on this one." He popped a few raisins in his mouth. "I assume we're meant to cross, but that water doesn't look promising even if we had a raft."

Silly Angel, always seeing the best in everyone. Crowley tended to be the opposite, as their differing positions indicated. Shadow was only behaving because he was getting all that praise and not because he was actual loyal... since when!? But Crowley accepted the kiss and chose not to argue if only because a nearby sign had caught his eye... ~~And not because Fell might have been right~~.

A few leaves were swept away from the raised letters of the plaque as the thing was read aloud.

"The pure of heart will form the bridge with a leap of faith."

His nose crinkled.

"The pure of heart?? That's me out."

"Pure of heart? What kind of bullshit is that? We're not bloody five-year-olds." He dismounted, albeit shakily, since he wasn't about to let the horse even jump that thing, familiar or no. He inspected the sign and scowled.

"I don't suppose we can cross further downstream..."

[ooc: I mean, he still has to get THEM across too.]

"Doubtful. I think that would defeat the point of the exercise."

Aziraphale calmly stood by and let them ponder it a little more while he popped a few more snacks. Then, he placed the lid back on the tin and stepped forward towards the bridge with a level of cheerful, and smug, assuredness. Did he know HOW this would work? Not entirely, but he had faith it wouldn't end badly, however it worked.

"You two are entirely too pessimistic." Wait. Hold on. That was just their normal operating status. "They wouldn't present us with something we couldn't overcome, for one." Alright, that might be a little too forgiving, even for an angel. He walked to the edge of the bridge and looked down into the water. It was treacherous. "And secondly, if anyone here qualifies as pure of heart--"

He wrinkled his nose and, with a pointed look, grinned cheekily at them --It's me! Of course!-- before he stepped off the end of the bridge.

"You can't just hop--!!"

Crowley reached out, trying to snag Aziraphale's sleeve but missed entirely not that it mattered. The smug bastard stood out there in open air like Angel's always walked on air as easily as they did on water.

"Bastard. You could have given more warning!"

He felt near to having one of Alec's heart seizures... He shouldn't have worried of course, Angels and faith went arm-in-arm together.

"While you are out there taking your leisurely stroll the cliff behind you has the crystals, grab us a couple?"

Alec nearly had a second heart attack himself, grabbing onto Anthony's arm as it looked like he might be as foolish. He was surprised then that Fell crossed without incident. He took a moment to get his breathing under control and his heart in order, then squinted across the way-- and back to the sign-- then tugged Anthony a little closer, in part for something to lean on.

"Listen-- it must be a lie," he muttered. "Fell's an angel, aye, but if he's pure of heart than I'm Phileas bloody Fogg. He's fussy, indulgent and well-- I mean an angel with a demon can't be that pure of heart to begin with. It's probably some sort of test to see if we'll flinch."

"So sorry!" Well, so much for the dramatic flair. He supposed giving both of them heart attacks wasn't exactly conducive to putting on a good show and getting any applause.

And now they were whispering. That was never good.

"I got the last crystals, too, you'll remember. For being the one who wasn't even originally part of this adventure, I feel like I'm doing an awful lot of the heavy lifting here!" Still, with a huff and a roll of his eyes, he turned to go get the crystals. He had faith they could make it across, but he wasn't sure they would even try.

"He's not." Crowley agreed all too easily in that same conspiratorial whisper Alec used, "Not... pure, pure... He indulges a lot, desserts mostly, books... other things. That's pride on display there or arrogance. Both maybe."

But the demon couldn't help but feel a sense of amused annoyance over the whole thing after all, "He's just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing."

Was it cheating not to put his faith to the test and hop out there too? Of course, but then that was what demons did. Crowley saw no harm in bending the rules on this.

"Oi, Angel! As you are doing all the heavy lifting make sure you pick out some large sparkly ones! If they are too dull we might have to sent you back out there."

So if he wasn't pure of heart exactly, neither were they. Alec contemplated the rushing water and Fell on the other side of it. He was reasonably sure that he would be able to cross the bridge as well if Fell could-- he was pretty sure Anthony could too.

But on the other hand...

"Aye, don't make us tell you twice." With that he rested against Anthony again, matching his cousin's blasé expression.

They were ganging up on him now! Those bastards! Ooo. He glared at them from across the way.

"You're putting a lot of faith in my being charitable! I have half a mind to get only one crystal--for myself." Or not at all. What was the point of this endeavor anyway. They were taking advantage on a quest that was supposedly Alec's to begin with. "You want a crystal so badly, come get one. I'll wait." He tapped his foot.

"Or...would you like help? I could be persuaded to help."

"Demons don't cross bridges made out of faith, Angel."

He leaned just a little ways out over the end to get a better look at the whitewater running swiftly under the unfinished bridge, but only after he had made sure to have a firm grip on what railing did exist.

"We fall."

He looked at Anthony.

It seemed profound and sad all at once.

Maybe he wasn't an angel, or even particularly strong but:

"I can carry you." That bridge was nothing to him.

Oh, Crowley. And from profound sadness came something beautifully sweet and kind. His heart soared to see them act as a family again.

"Have faith in Alec, then." He stepped to the far edge of the bridge again. "And if something should happen--which it won't, because I have faith in him--I'll be here as well." Aziraphale extended a hand to them. "Come on."

"You're going to carry me across?"

His hand gestured at Alec up and down, incredulously.

"You have a heart condition and can barely stand, but you are going to carry me?"

Faith was one of those difficult concepts for a demon to wrap their head around. He knew Alec would never purposely drop him, there wasn't a homicidal bone in his body, but there was that nagging doubt that it would be too much for Alec. What if they both tumbled over the edge? There was Aziraphale there to back the both of them up, he could lift maybe one of them but two?

Dramatically Crowley flounced around in a circle, looking to Fell's extended hand, and Alec's sincere eyes... Damn the both of them, this was a stupid idea... And yet he found himself slowly giving into the idea.

"How even? Piggyback??"

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