isleofavalon | September Catch-All

[ She forced herself to smile. Perhaps this wasn't so bad... Having someone walk her to that clinic would, hopefully, help her clear her mind of this. ]

So long as it's not a psychiatric clinic, ahaha...!

[ She said that as a small joke, but there was a serious concern he would think she was crazy considering, well, what she had just done. Normal people didn't smash innocent video games till their fists bled. There was a reason here, but even then... It was all related to her trauma. ]

... Thank you.

[ She meant it. Monika still looked visibly shaken and her steps would be very slow and hesitant. But someone helping her when she's in need? That wasn't a mercy she'd been granted back home. ]

Huh? No, it's not. I don't think psychiatrists are the right doctors to deal with cuts.

[Griffin is bad at detecting self-deprecating humor, and psychiatric clinic is pretty far down on the list of things he might suggest to help Monika. He's only just met her, after all. He's in no position to be making that particular judgement call.]

You're welcome.

[He smiles at her when she thanks him, and glances back down to the directions on his phone before looking up and around, getting his bearings.]

Okay, it looks like it's this way.

[He points up the street, and after a brief pause starts walking. He'll match his pace to hers, allowing her to take whatever time she needs.]

That was a joke...

[ She said it with a smile, understanding it was possibly not too obvious given her current state. And she managed to keep that smile up, even if it was really forced. ]

You... Don't tell anyone, please. That did I that...

[ She didn't want her friends to worry, or anyone to worry for that matter.

She followed, slowly and hesitantly. Why had she done that...? Now that she was starting to go back to her normal self, she hated herself for having lost control like that. Was that like some sort of trauma, PTSD? Because of her stay in the game? That was a depressing thought... Of course, DDLC would never leave her alone, even as she was able to find joy and happiness in another world.

Joy and happiness... It felt harder and harder to feel those things of late. Maybe she did need a psychiatrist, heh. But there probably weren't any around and she wasn't about to look for one. ]

Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't realize.

[He grimaces apologetically, but relaxes a little when he notices she's smiling, even if he does think the smile looks a little forced. He's pretty sure he can guess why she looks that way when she makes her request.]

I won't tell anyone, I promise.

[Depending on how things go in the future, he might eventually encourage Monika to tell someone, but it's definitely not his place to make that call for her.]

Hey, um...You're not hurt anywhere else, are you?

[She seems to be walking awfully slow...and if she's injured elsewhere, he definitely shouldn't be making her walk anywhere.]

Ahaha, don't worry... I'm bad at making jokes.

[ That was Sayori's specialty. Gosh, how she would laugh if she saw her like that. It would be sweet revenge, wouldn't it? No... Sayori wasn't that kind of person. She would never laugh at someone else's misery. But she couldn't help and imagine her laughing, even knowing that. ]

Thank you. [She marked a pause.] Ah, no, I just...

[ Why was she walking so slowly? Because she was lost in thought, because she was hurting, because she wished she could lay down and stop existing altogether for a little while? She wasn't sure, but she forced herself to pick up the pace. ]

I guess I'm hurt on the inside... [She could admit that much, it was obvious regardless.] Nothing doctors can do anything about.

Oh, no, I'm sure you're not bad at making jokes! I'm just not very good at picking up...I think it was irony? Honestly I don't always notice puns or wordplay right away, either.

[Skull too thick, brain cells too sparse.]

[Also...oh no, he doesn't know what to make of that confession? All he knows is that he really, really wants to help but has no idea how. :(]

Well, hey now, there's a whole lot that doctors and medicine can do, even for emotional hurt! Or at least, there was where I come from. But there's a lot that's similar between home and here, so maybe! You never know until you try! Even just talking about what's bothering you and getting other people's perspectives can help. It doesn't even have to be talking to doctors, if you don't want to talk to doctors. Talking to friends can help, too.

Mhm. Puns are my specialty usually, but I'm feeling too puny for that today.

[ Alas, she couldn't help herself even when at the bottom of the pit. Professional punsters never took break, every day was a pun day, right? Still she managed to keep smiling at him, forced as her attempts at looking more cheerful were. ]

I guess you're right...

[ Though as she'd said, she didn't want her friends to know. Maybe she could tell him? He was a kind stranger. Well, she couldn't tell everything, she didn't have the strength for that, but... ]

Are you ever afraid of going back to your homeworld?

[Give him a minute on that pun, he'll swing back around to it if it connects with any relevant synapses.]

[If anyone could open a proverbial Can of Worms without any awareness of having done so, it's this lad right here.]

Scared of going back...? No.

[He has no idea where this is going, but considering the encouragement he was just giving her, he can at least guess where it's coming from.]

I've talked to a lot of people since I got here, though, so I can understand why someone might be.

[ Thankfully, she was done with puns for now. Unfortunately, that was only because far worse was about to come: ]

My world is a nightmare...

[ She had dead eyes as she said that. To most people, DDLC would be a fairly cute and harmless game. But living in such a small world, forever-repeating with no future or happiness? It was a living hell. That was without speaking of that dreadful void in which she found herself whenever the game was turned off.

She marked a pause, looking away in the distance. ]

That... Thing reminded me of it... And of the possibility I may be sent back today.

Oh, wow.

['Nightmare' is such a perfectly descriptive word, he feels no need to ask for elaboration. Someone else might request more detail, but Griffin always takes people at face value regardless of whether or not that's wise.

He's shifting his attention between looking at Monika while she talks and checking their route to the clinic he's found on his phone. It's not a complicated journey but he's still getting familiar with Camelot, so he's taking some care now in order to ensure the quickest arrival.]

Yeah, I can totally get that. So it was a "hurt it before it can hurt you," kind of reaction huh?

I guess.

[ She wasn't sure she'd call it that. Technically speaking, had she done nothing, perhaps she would be in the game right now. So that was partly accurate, at least. But even if it had been a normal video game...

She'd lost it entirely. It was like a primal fear. Absolutely irrational, but she couldn't help it. It had lasted just a moment till he'd found her, but losing yourself to fear like that... That in itself was scary. She feared she would no longer be able to live normally like she had the first month... Better not think about it too much. ]

Maybe someday, I'll... Explain more, ahaha.

Sure! But only if you want to, okay?

[They've only just met, but he's already totally willing to offer her whatever support he can. He doesn't want to be nosy or to pry, though.]

Do you want to talk about something else? To get your mind off it?

Mhm.

[ She only nodded at that. He was kind and understanding. Made her wonder why the player couldn't have been someone like that. Yet again... Even if they had been kind and understanding, they would still have thought of her like a monster, huh? ]

I'll just... Get this treated and go home, I think.

Okay, that sounds like a good idea. Once you get home you can take it easy, and hopefully you'll feel better soon, too.

And, um - oh! You said you were feeling too puny for puns! That was a pun, right?

[There's that delayed connection. Nailed it!]

Yeah... Thanks for all the help.

[ She managed to give him a genuine smile when he said that though. Better later than never, like they said! ]

Ahaha, yep! I guess I can't help myself.

You're welcome!

[Hey, that got a smile out of her! That's a good sign, right? He grins right back, pleased.]

[Then he glances back at his phone to check their progress towards the clinic.]

It looks like we're almost there - it should be just around the corner up the block.

Okay... I think I should be able to get there on my own.

[ She didn't want to waste any more of his time... And she would rather not show herself going through another breakdown if the doctors started asking questions as for how it happened. ]

Thanks a lot for everything.

Oh. I, um...

[Insight Roll: 15+5 - He's kind of getting the feeling Monika is embarrassed by her behavior, and would like some privacy to talk to the doctors on her own. He is totally down to let her do that, and he gets why she would want to, but they're not at the clinic quite yet.]

I don't mind walking you all the way. I wouldn't feel right leaving right now.

You really shouldn't worry that much. I'll be fine, I promise.

[ He was 100% on the money. She didn't want to embarrass herself any further. She was starting to think more clearly, and with clarity of mind came the feelings of shame and embarrassment. What he had seen of her today, that was the total opposite of what she tried to be. Of what she wanted people to remember her as.

So she managed to give him a comforting smile. ]

You've done more than I would have expected from anyone already.

But I really haven't done anything.

["Doing something" to him would be more along the lines of having the means on-hand to help Monika with her injuries, instead of just taking her to somewhere that can help.]

I'll take off if you really want me to, but I'd like to at least make sure you get there okay.

I know, but...

[ Unfortunately, his insistence wasn't helping. Maybe he couldn't realize how much he'd done already. To her, that meant the world. But she'd reached a point where she was more horrified to show herself like that than she needed help. ]

Please? I'll contact you on your device to say you I have arrived, if it reassures you.

[Every instinct within this good boy is screaming at him to gently insist he be allowed to walk her the entire way - it's the gentlemanly and chivalrous thing to do. But on the other hand, she is practically begging him to allow her to go on her own, and he's not the sort of person to impose himself where he's not wanted, either.

This is a tough one, and Monika can probably see it on his face. :(]

Mmmm...alright, since it's important to you. But please do let me know when you get there, okay?

I promise I will.

[ She looked a bit relieved that he let her go. She would be able to... Well, speak to the doctors and cry without making an embarrassment of herself any further. And she would be able to use the time left on the way there to try and gather herself. ]

Thanks so much for everything you've done, I really appreciate it.

[He wants to protest again that he hasn't actually do anything, but he restrains himself. He gives her a worried smile, and nods.]

You're welcome. I'll be looking for your text.

September Catch-All

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