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🧙 WHO: Set and everybody
⚔️️ WHAT: Quests, particularly hot knights and unicorns as he also tries to get over the green magic issues he keeps running into
🕒 WHEN: During September
🗺️ WHERE: Various
⚠️ WARNINGS: Hot knights involves being a strip club so! We'll see.

A. Magic Mike
[Okay, so he was supposed to be undercover because he'd been roped into this by someone~~Claude~~ but he wasn't exactly questioning it. It made sense, he thought, and he wasn't thinking of any possible ulterior motive. Dressed like something out of a trashy movie, Set is mostly annoyed at the fact everything is made out of cloth? Even the accessories. He'd rather just keep wearing his own clothes but whatever.

And he's been keeping an eye on the kidnapped knights, trying to figure out how to get them out of here as he does what he's been told to do. However, when someone tells him they want to "see his ass shaking", he's very confused as he looks at your character and asks:] What does that even mean? [He's so confused. Modern slang confuses him all of the time.]

B. Unicorns
[It wasn't hard to find the unicorns. He's a virgin and he doesn't exactly understand, as he's sitting here in the forest why they all just want to come to him. He'd come here to get their horns but now he's dealing with all of them trying to lay on him.]

Somebody get these things off of me! [He's not an idiot because they have horns and if they stab him, and he's human, then that's not good. But also, he needs those stupid horns.]

C. Not Easy Being Green
[Set hates green magic. All he ever hears are plants complaining. This time the bushes are complaining that it's too windy. Even if they don't quite complain with words, he still knows they're unhappy.]

Do you think I can just stop the wind? You're a tree! Get over it.

[Angry man yells at tree.]

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[Claude is annoying but well, he's got a way about him. Set can't even disagree with him about this idea, it makes sense. And despite how grumpy he looks, Set physically fits in with the rest. He's muscular and nobody's unhappy with him here.

But Set's just wondering how long it's supposed to take? Claude seems like the type to have a dozen or so plans up his sleeve. Is one really taking him this long? So Set goes to Claude, still dressed in his stupid outfit, to ask:] Think up anything yet?

[Claude's other motives for having them go undercover to a strip club have not been made apparent to him yet.]

[They blend in easily enough: Claude's flirtatious smiles, half-unbuttoned shirt and open wallet suggesting he's one eager customer, one going by "Kahil" for the evening. And Set? Well, Set could pass just as easily for a stripper as Claude's date, which could be useful if they happen to need him to be distracting.

For now, Claude's mostly just enjoying the eye candy.]

All I'm thinking about is how gorgeous everyone looks! [He announces, slapping Set on the backside and giving a sly wink before leading him to the booth he'd managed to book for them. It's private enough, but provides a good view of the club that they can watch the comings and goings of customers and waiters alike.] Let's kick back and enjoy a few drinks, shall we? Then we can get a chance to get to know the staff here.

[The knights being forced to work here are mixed in with the other employees, so it'd help to know what they're dealing with first.]

[Set makes a surprised 'huh' at getting his ass slapped but he does brush it off as probably being part of the act. He rolls his eyes and is about to get into the booth to sit across from him when one of the waitresses stops him.]

Sit next to him! Don't you know anything?

[What? He looks around and yeah, a lot of the workers are practically sitting in the customers' laps but Set doesn't think that would be comfortable for Claude. So he sits next to Claude, close as can be. It does make it better to talk in private. The waitress sighs and moves her arms like he's supposed to hang on Claude and he gives a look like he doesn't understand.]

Wrap your arms around him, get close so he can appreciate the goods!

What goods? [But whatever, he'll do it. Just to get her to leave as he wraps his arms around Claude's waist, stiffly. Once she's satisfied, he grumbles:]

This is so annoying. We're too close.

[Claude's trying his best not to let the mirth show in his expression; he'll have to apologise to Set later for agreeing to be dragged into this mess. He knew the god was clueless, but even Claude is staggered by just how clueless he's proving to be, even as Set's arms awkwardly wrap around his waist.]

That's the idea. But it's fine if you're new to this; we'll just take it nice and slow.

[He runs a hand from Set's stomach up to his chest, leaning in close to whisper in his ear.]

She's one of the monster employees. Check her eyes. [The waitress, he means. She's satisfied enough with Set's performance that she gives a quiet 'hmph' and turns to walk away, but not before making it clear her bright violet eyes are slitted like a cat's. Almost definitely not one of the knights, then.]

[Set is not used to being touched like this and that's obvious by how he stiffens up as Claude brushes a hand against him but he does relax. Everybody here is pretty touchy. Seems legit.] Okay. Thanks. [So sexy, Set.

But he does get a look at the waitress before she moves away. He looks around and tries to figure out who could possibly be a soldier.] Do you think we could tell by the eyes for everybody?

[He's only focusing on the quest.]

[He would have removed his hand if Set had stayed stiffened up like that, but seeing him relaxed into it, he keeps his hand where it is. As long as Claude's not going too far in making him uncomfortable, he'll gladly be a little indulgent with the situation.]

Not everybody. I noticed the doorman had a few scales and some sharp teeth. For others, the tells might not be obvious at all... But picking out the knights from the people who want to be there should be obvious from their body language and how they speak, if nothing else.

[Then he takes Set's face in his hand to direct his attention back to Claude.]

Just don't stare too much, okay? Pretend you're more interested in me. That won't be difficult, I'm sure.

[Set was trying to figure out these signs because he wasn't the type to pay very close attention to details like that which was obviously working against him here. It was a good thing that Claude was as clever as he was although Set still doesn't understand why Claude hasn't talked about any plans yet. It's just been sneaking in and now they're here.

He looks to Claude, frowning.] Then how do we find the people if I'm looking at you? [Set, with his resting bitch face, does not look all too interested in Claude. Nothing personal at all. This is just how Set is.

But he is looking at him.]

[At least Claude's not offended by his total lack of interest in him. He didn't exactly drag him along for his stellar acting skills.] You're here to entertain a valued customer. Pay attention to me -- and copy what the others are doing, if you're feeling up to it. I'll focus on the plan.

[Which the less Set knows about, the more convincing he'll be, or so Claude's logic goes. He looks over to the stage opposite the bar.]

Ever tried dancing like that? [He nods to where one of the performers is poledancing.]

Am I just supposed to sit here and do nothing else but fawn over you? [So annoying. He'd rather be doing something but fine. They are here to gather information first and by now, Set knows he's too impulsive. He doesn't think things through and he needs to work on that. Maybe sitting here with Claude is the start to that.

He takes a peek at the dancers that Claude points to and he huffs.] No. [But on one hand:] They have good legs. It takes skill to do that. [After watching for a moment more, he looks away and then sees one person with their head on their customer's shoulder. Okay? Claude said he should copy people and that's not too much. He doesn't see how the employee is necking the customer but there wasn't any way that Set was going to do that.

But he does rest his head on Claude's shoulder, face still lacking in emotion.] This good?

[As for Kratos, he was definitely wearing his regular clothes (which are already ridiculously form fitting, let's be honest) because this is all the stupidest thing he's ever seen. So stupid in fact that he's considering leaving, but that would probably be a dick move? Should he care? Mmnnghhh.

He probably would just leave, but then Set's here and the poor guy seems completely clueless, and Kratos actually would feel bad about leaving the poor guy to deal with all of this on his own.]

...It sounds pretty self explanatory to me.

[Look Kratos may be old and boring but even he understands the concept of shaking one's ass.]

[If this wasn't for a quest then Set wouldn't be staying here. This is just stupid and really, Set fits in physically but outside of that? Nope. He does not belong here.

When he thinks of shaking your ass, he just thinks of things like shaking in fear or a dog shaking its fur. This doesn't seem right?]

Shake it of what? A dog shakes itself to get rid of water but do people find dogs that attractive? [...Nobody answer that one.]

[If this wasn't for a quest, Kratos wouldn't be here at all to begin with. This is the stupidest. Like really, is this even worth the trouble?

And Set's... Setness isn't making this any easier.]

N--no, it...Never mind, I think we're focusing on the wrong thing.

I'm supposed to be undercover but I cannot even make out what is being said. It's ridiculous. I try to look for the knights but then someone says something stupid to me.

[Maybe going undercover as a stripper was not the best idea.]

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