Rocky Mountain Spotted Dick Fever (open)

[shiliu]

🧙 WHO: Gu Yun and YOU
⚔️️ WHAT: July Quests!
🕒 WHEN: Throughout July
🗺️ WHERE: Various
⚠️ WARNINGS: None, will update as necessary


Fever

[ Look sharp, there’s a sword being thrown your way. But it’s quite a strange type of sword. The blade is hot pink, the grip royal blue, and the guard purple. It hardly has the heft of a weapon, and the grip is strangely squishy.

That’s right, it’s a balloon toy sword.

Gu Yun has his own version of this weapon, and lifts it towards his adversary (you). ]

You’ll pay for what you’ve done.

[ His expression is deadly serious, to the delight of the denizens of the pediatric ward looking on. A moment later, Gu Yun has launched himself into this (very serious) fight. ]

Spotted

[ One (1) Gu Yun is perched beside a rushing mountain stream, with a long willow rod and a string dangling into the water, smiling in an extremely self-satisfied manner. An attentive onlooker might notice that there’s no bait attached to the line.

This is why they call it “fishing” not “catching.” ]

Dick

Seriously?

[ Go on a camping trip, they said. It’ll be fun, they said. Instead he’s pinned down behind a boulder with a roaring, bull-headed (literally) monster on the other side. ]

Uh… would you like some spotted dick?

[ Is he offering his entrusted cargo to you? To the monster? It’s unclear, and it honestly doesn’t matter, because he definitely wasn’t paid enough for this. ]

Behind

Oh…

[ It wasn’t so much the quest, as an excuse to return to the Diamond Falls, and to Celliwig, that has brought Gu Yun here. He’d become progressively angrier at the trials they’d all been put through, and had almost been ready to rescind his vote and deselect peace as an option. But the last trial ended in a way he couldn’t have anticipated, and for which he is still inexpressibly grateful. And the effect of the Falls’ waters was… well, this is something he’s grateful for also, for as long as it lasts.

Now he is seated by the side of the falls, having rescued the little geode creature, and is gazing at it with the eyes he might have grown up with, had a certain life-changing event not transpired. ]

Oh, it’s cute. Hahahaha!

[ Said cute creature abruptly begins to shake and steam and redden, its features melting into something more resembling slime. Whoops, perhaps he shouldn’t have laughed at it. ]

Comments

Fever

[kiss_it_better]

[He had healing magic so it made sense to be here.

In between actual healing he'd been whittling small toys for some of the children as well.

It was while he was taking a short break from all this that he suddenly found a balloon sword thrown at him. He's quick to understand what was happening and adopted a similarly serious expression as he stood up and prepared to block that attack.

When their swords made contact, there's a squeak of rubber rubbing against rubber that made how serious the two of them were all the more ridiculous.]

You will have to be more specific. What are your grievances with me?

[shiliu]

[ If Gu Yun is aware of the squeaking noise, it doesn't show on his face. He flies into the air, turning, with his hair and loose robes flowing behind him in a circle, and touches down on the opposite side of Chang Geng. ]

This Knave of Hearts professes his innocence?

[ Earlier, he'd heard the children reciting a little rhyme over and over again. The subject matter had amused him, particularly the titles of those involved. ]

[kiss_it_better]

[He'd heard the rhyme as well though he hadn't been as taken with it as Gu Yun apparently was.

He raised his sword with a Very Serious Frown.]

So you were sent by the Queen of Hearts?

[shiliu]

[ From their hospital beds, the children start to giggle. Gu Yun rushes forwards and shouts: ]

Return the tarts!

[ He lifts his “sword” and squeakily clashes with Chang Geng once more. But as he draws near, he speaks in an intimate whisper, loud enough only for Chang Geng’s ears: ]

They can hardly be sweeter than your lips, my dear.

[kiss_it_better]

[He had been happy to play along and was even considering whether to cry out that he was being framed or not.

But then, as they lock weapons, Gu Yun speaks so intimately and it makes Chang Geng blush mostly because it was so unexpected. This flirting that's also teasing...does he ever get used to it in the future?]

I--

[This seemed like the right cue for him to push back on the sword (which squished it out of shape a little) before moving back.]

If you want the tarts back you'll have to force my surrender.

[shiliu]

You're digging your own grave!

[ He leaps back also, circling Chang Geng slowly, while making complicated passes with his "sword." His expression all the while is dead serious, as if this were a real fight.

Finally he rushes Chang Geng, aiming to bop the side of his head with his ballon sword...


...and pop Chang Geng's own "sword" with a needle hidden in his sleeve, because he's Marshal Gu of the Black Iron Battalion, and he cheats. ]

1/2

[kiss_it_better]

[There's a brief flash of surprise in his eyes as his balloon sword pops loudly and he's left defenceless against the strike.

It's no secret to Chang Geng that Gu Yun doesn't play fair. Still, knowing someone will cheat is different from know how they will cheat and he definitely didn't notice there was a needle hidden in Gu Yun's sleeve.

But, he thinks in the moment, what could he have done if he'd known? He'd already committed to blocking he would have had to figure it out much earlier to make a different choice.

And he hadn't thought so deeply about what is nothing more than a childish game.

And so the sword made a squeak as it connected.]

2/2

[kiss_it_better]

[Then, in the blink of an eye he regains his composure though rather than seeking to look calm he looks disappointed.]

It seems I have been bested, but Sir Knight. [He reached up to hold Gu Yun's sleeve. He was taller than Gu Yun so he lowers himself to one knee so he could look up pitifully at him.] Please have mercy, if you take me back to the Queen of Hearts I will surely be executed.

[shiliu]

[ Pulling on his sleeve like a spoiled child, truly this person knows how to coax him, even in fun. Indulgently, he reaches down to cup Chang Geng’s cheek. ]

Return the tarts, or better yet make her some more. This King of Hearts will always look after you.

spotted!

[ladyemperor]

[Meiniang knows enough not to make sudden movements and to surprise someone trying to fish. Especially when they seemed to need all the help they could get.

But what she will do is sit herself beside him.]

Did you forget your bait?

[shiliu]

[ These days, Gu Yun doesn't set out on any kind of quest without requesting a healing spell from Chang Geng, so his eyes and ears work just fine at the moment. Back when he'd met Wu Meniang, he hadn't been able to see or hear her very well, though he naturally recognizes her fragrance. ]

If I had bait, wouldn't this be over too soon?

[ It truly is a lovely day: the sky the deep blue one only sees in the mountains, set strikingly against pure white clouds drifting past. The sun is bright but not overwarm, because of a soft, refreshing breeze.

He turns and smiles at her—then puts on a helpless expression. ]

Ah, forgive me, your highness. My apologies, I've quite forgotten your —

[ He couldn't hear her name clearly back then; he'll pretend he forgot it, so he can hear it properly this time. ]

[ladyemperor]

At this rate, I doubt it'll ever be over. [But it is a beautiful day, one that would be well spent sipping tea and eating sweets in an airy gazebo so she can definitely see the appeal of staying outside.

But that helpless expression gets a raise of an eyebrow from her especially because she remembers him from Chang Geng's dream. Still, she smiles softly, her tone gentle.]

Calling me 'your highness' isn't funny even as a joke. [After all she no longer has that title and isn't sure she wants it anymore.]

It is Meiniang. Wu Meiniang.

1/2

[shiliu]

[ He nods. ]

Yes of course. Forgive me. Wu Meniang.

[ He glances back at the stream for a moment.

... ]

[shiliu]

[ ......and drops his fishing pole. ]

Wu Meniang?

[ His head jerks back, and he stares at her, aghast. ]

Empress Wu?

[ladyemperor]

[She pauses as he stares, then draws back a little with a confused look.]

I think you're confusing me with someone else.

[Empress... She had never been an empress. Could never have hoped to be nor had she wanted to be empress.]

[shiliu]

[ Gu Yun knows full well that most of the evil things Empress Wu was accused of were fabrication or exaggeration. What she did, most emperors have had to do, if they wished to hold onto power. Her rule and her many achievements for the country, however, these things are indisputable.

He retrieves his fishing pole, that’s about to be carried downstream, and sets it down beside himself. He opens his mouth to speak, and then shuts it again.

After a while, he finally says: ]

Do you wish to know your future?

[ Whether he should tell her or not, he can’t decide this on his own. By all rights, it should be up to her, he concludes. ]

[ladyemperor]

[Meiniang is still patiently waiting as he retrieves his fishing pole, giving it and then him a wary look.

The only future she'd envisioned for herself after the passing of the emperor was a quiet, simple one far away from the palace where she had already lost so much. And to be Empress, to not just be the Emperor's main wife, the matriarch of everything beneath the sky but to be his equal...

She stays standing, hands folded.]

...The last time someone asked me that, it ended with every courtier petitioning for the emperor to execute me for the good of the country.

[shiliu]

[ ...

After a pause, he chuckles. ]

I'll take that as a "no."

[ He pats the space beside him, on the ground, while flashing her a charming smile. ]

Sit down, we won't speak of such tiresome subjects anymore. Come, I'll teach you to fish!

Dick

[friendsallover]

[Din really should get better at seeing these things coming. He's starting to realize he's a magnet for trouble, and well, that's just irritating. It never used to be like this (and he's certainly not blaming Grogu).]

Can't say I'm interested. And our friend doesn't seem to be either.

[shiliu]

[ At least one of them is wearing armor. Gu Yun isn't, because he thought he'd be having a nice little excursion in the mountains, not this kind of nightmare being stalked by a monster.

His hand closes around a small, round stone. It's the oldest trick in the book; but this creature has the head of a bull so perhaps it's not too terribly bright. He tosses the rock out, giving it a bit of extra lift with his kinetic magic.

RWAAAAAAARRRR!!!

The enormous creature lumbers off after the rock, knocking down various small trees as it crashes through. Yep. Not too bright. ]

Come on.

[ He's going to be scooting off in the opposite direction of his rock throw. ]

[friendsallover]

[There is always going to be a small part of Din that can never believe that that works, but he's also not going to knock it. So he follows, though continuing to look over his shoulder, just in case.]

How long do you think we have? Before he gets bored I mean.

[shiliu]

No idea. Let’s stay upwind.

[ If they can stay out of sight, and keep themselves from being smelled, they might be able to wait the thing out and avoid a fight. Given that this seems to be the same creature that did massive amounts of damage to the city a few months ago, attacking it probably requires a small army at the very least and a plan, neither of which they have. ]

What weapons did you bring?

[ He recalls from last time, that Mando had a surprising number of ways to kill things. ]

[friendsallover]

Pretty much everything. If we were gone for a while, I didn't really want to leave anything to chance.

[The last thing he needs is to be unprepared and unable to restock. But he's got his blaster at his hip, and rifle and spear across his back.]

What have you got?

[shiliu]

[ Smiling self-deprecatingly, he taps the long iron rod at his hip. He's brought his wind slasher, and nothing else. He glances over in the direction of where they'd run from, and rubs his chin. Thinking aloud, he says: ]

What does it want?

[ He's used to fighting armies, which have a purpose. Even if his foes are barbarians, and their aim is burning and pillaging, it's at least something he can strategize around. But this creature with the head of a bull and body of a man, with ridiculous strength and a terrible temper...

Abruptly, he turns back and asks: ]

Didn't you say you have bargaining magic?

[friendsallover]

[So they're well armed if it goes that way, but Din's not above putting negotiation first.]

It seems to me like it's looking for a fight, but I could be wrong about that.

[At least, that's the attitude he's picking up.]

I do, yeah. Does that thing count as a fairy?