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[emet_sulk]

🧙 WHO: Emet-Selch, Hythlodaeus, Irhya Pendhula
⚔️️ WHAT: An old man, a gremlin, and a dark knight walk into a bar--
🕒 WHEN: Sometime in April
🗺️ WHERE: A bar in Camelot
⚠️ WARNINGS: Drunk shenanigans


Against his better judgement, he accompanies Hythlodaeus and Irhya on a night out. The purpose? To imbibe copious amounts of alcohol, he supposes. Not that he has any plans to join them. No, not at all. Someone has to be the responsible, sober man.

Although once he would have been the figure holding court amongst his audience of two, that really is rather more Hythlodaeus' place. For a moment, it almost feels like the nights he spent long ago with two of his old friends. And that brings with it a measure of melancholy.

Comments

[omnicrafter]

To be honest, Irhya has to wonder who is actually going to end up the sober one of them -- if anyone. Perhaps they'll all end up smashed at the end of the night, but at least it'll have been worth it.

But Hades is quiet on the way as Irhya and Hythlodaeus trade japes, and she can't help but think she might know the reason why. So she needles him in the shoulder, smiling up at him to try and get his attention.

"It's gonna be fun, yeah? We'll all hate ourselves tomorrow, but that's how it goes. Right? Besides, you have a point to prove. You know, the one where you can hold your alcohol way better now?"

[weenwoon]

Hythlodaeus, meanwhile, is pretty intent on not letting anyone be sober or responsible here. This is the entire point of this outing, after all, and it's not as though they don't all already have enough to be sober, somber and responsible about anyroad.

"Ah, yes. I've taken the liberty of telling Irhya that you've never been the one to outdrink myself or Azem. I hope you've no objections, Hades?"

This, of course, is said in full faith that Hades has a lot of objections.

[emet_sulk]

"You did what?"

Right on cue, there is Hades' indignant outburst. It's an easy habit to fall back into around Hythlodaeus. Reaching up with a scowl, he tugs his friend's ear.

"I have a different body now, 'Daeus. I think you shall find I hold my liquor far better now. Both of you."

[omnicrafter]

Irhya can't help but snicker in the background, more than willing to play along. "I believe it," she says, a hand over her mouth to hide her smirk, "but you're still gonna have to prove it."

Azem, then, was likely a better drinker, if just by virtue of being fifteen-odd fulms tall. But even knowing her body mass isn't like to hold her drink for long, she figures she'll give it a try anyway. She casts a glance up at Hythlodaeus and says, "You're gonna have to put out too, you know. I'm not letting you get away without backing up those words."

[weenwoon]

Hythlodaeus only chuckles in response to the ear-tugging - that familiar smug chuckle, - and puts his hands up in mock submission.

"My goodness, but should not one of us remain sober to look after the other two? I was quite hoping to take on that role."

[emet_sulk]

"I was going to take on that role," he grumbles. But he lets go of Hyth's ear. "Irhya is right - we drink together or not at all. I will best you in this."

Oh, he's fired up now. Challenge accepted.

"I hope the place you chose is not too rowdy," he adds, glancing between them both. Because a night out drinking would certainly have never been his idea.

[omnicrafter]

"You'd rather drink in a private space?" Irhya suggests with a sly grin. "We could always just buy a shiteload of alcohol and bring it back to your place..." Her eyebrows raise with intrigue, and it's not hard to figure out what she's suggesting. "If it's a little crowded, oh well, at least it'll drown out our conversation. And coming as a group even means I won't have to deal with getting hit on left and right!"

[weenwoon]

"Oh, worry not, Irhya!" Hythlodaeus proclaims with a grin. "I shall make the sacrifice and draw my own crowd of admirers. You two may have to save me."

He's the hottest one here, s2s.

[emet_sulk]

"...I would prefer to drink in private," he admits in a grumble. Sitting amongst the people and listening to their chatter is all well and good, but not if he's compromised in some way.

Hythlodaeus being swarmed by other men or women absolutely doesn't factor in his preference. At all.

[omnicrafter]

"What if I'm one of them?" Irhya says with melodramatic flair, sidling up to Hythlodaeus casually. "If you're gonna make the sacrifice for the greater good, I may as well take advantage..."

Not even a drop to drink yet and they're already at it.

[weenwoon]

His eyes flicker briefly to Hades at the words of "sacrifice for the greater good". They've braved a lot of the obstacles already, but he knows how fragile his friend can be at times, how easy it is to be caught unawares by seemingly little things... Tonight is supposed to be a peaceful outing, and if possible he'd like to spare Hades more self-doubt and unpleasant memories. He should probably avoid leaning into this particular angle.

"Irhya, you wound me! Did I not already have your attention?"

Fortunately, as the Lahabrea of Nonsense he always has ridiculous things up his sleeve to redirect a conversation.

[emet_sulk]

An unfortunate turn of phrase. He grimaces and looks away. It's not enough to plunge him into a mood, but it's an unpleasant reminder.

Thankfully Hythlodaeus is there to divert attention for a moment. Enough for him to take a breath and pull himself together. He looks back to them, forcing an unimpressed look to his face.

"Now I'm doubly sure that we ought to drink in private if you are both going to act like this," he says disdainfully, pushing through them to walk ahead.

[omnicrafter]

Irhya's mouth hangs open for a moment, blinking and wide-eyed, then she pursues him with a brisk trot. Just in case he isn't joking, she takes his sleeve in hand and gives him a kitten-eyed look.

"It-- I didn't--" For a moment, she's too taken aback to form a proper sentence. A tug on his sleeve. "Come on, am I not allowed to flirt with him?"

[weenwoon]

This does seem like it calls for an intervention, so. He catches up with Hades in a few easy steps as well, but unlike Irhya's meeker approach, Hythlodaeus just rests an elbow on his friend's shoulder.

"Or is it that I am not allowed to flirt with her? Mayhap we better redirect all our effort to you."

[emet_sulk]

He halts, flummoxed and quite thrown off what he'd intended to be his own brand of caustic humour.

"I-- I did not mean it that way," he stutters. "You know I want nothing more than to ensure your happiness. I'll not stand in either of your ways should you desire to...well."

'Hook up', as they say.

[omnicrafter]

"Ah--"

Irhya exchanges a glance with Hythlodaeus. It's not that she doesn't have the inclination, exactly, it's just...

"Oh, don't be like that." Her hand comes off his sleeve and twines fingers into his instead, even as she pouts at him. "It's not like we'd run off and leave you behind on a night that was supposed to be the three of us."

[weenwoon]

The three of them, now that's a good turn of phrase. Hythlodaeus feels like he doesn't even need to add anything - just slowly start grinning insidiously, and hope that Hades gets the implications.

[emet_sulk]

Irhya's behaviour is innocent enough, but when he looks to Hythlodaeus his skin immediately crawls. Even now he's not used to that insidious grin.

"Why is he grinning like that, Irhya?" he asks warily. "Are you two plotting something?"

[omnicrafter]

Ah, is he really--? Irhya is quick to catch on, stifle a laugh, and then look up with perfect innocence at Emet.

"You don't like it?" Her ears wiggle with glee. "I think it's cute when he does that. Frankly, I think he's thinking maybe we should turn this into a competition... am I right?"

[weenwoon]

"Well, we did plan to enjoy ourselves tonight, did we not? And I believe a competition would be just right for you both, particularly to resolve this flirting dilemma."

He taps his cheek thoughtfully, still smirking.

"Why, it could even be one that is better suited to drinking in private! My proposal is thus: whoever gets inebriated first has to entertain the other two's affections. That way no one gets left out, hmm?"

[emet_sulk]

He flushes, fingers twining more tightly with Irhya's. "When you put it like that, how could I possibly lose?"

But now that Hythlodaeus has put that out in the open, he has a better idea of what his friend intends. Unfortunately, he also suspects he's been set up to lose.

Even so, he takes his friend's hand and starts tugging them both to a liquor store. They're going to need several bottles if they're going to get hopelessly drunk.

[omnicrafter]

Change of plans, now, is it? This looks promising. Irhya can't help but grin knowingly as they're both pulled along, feeling a happy flutter in her chest.

"So, I'm not much of a drinker," she says after finding her stride again. "I don't suppose either of you have any recommendations for a beginner?"

[weenwoon]

Hythlodaeus shrugs lightly, another shite-eating grin on his face, and nods pointedly at Hades.

"Fortunately, we have a veritable expert with us! Do share your wisdom, most eminent Emet-Selch."

[emet_sulk]

He releases their hands as they draw close to a promising looking store. Though he wagers he can feel Hythlodaeus' grin on his back, he sniffs and launches into a small lecture.

"White wine or sweet wine is often what new drinkers prefer. Red wine has a stronger taste. You may also consider a beer or mead, which is far lighter, and--"

Et cetera. He'll continue even as they enter the store.

[omnicrafter]

Irhya hums noncommittally at the information dump, taking in mostly just the parts that sound appealing and tuning the rest out as she mulls over the ideas. Then, once they go inside, the first thing she does is wander off to look at various items, milling about until she finds a pack labeled as a spiced rum and plucks it off the shelf. Spiced with what, she isn't sure, but spice and alcohol sounds like a fair combination. It's something she's heard decent things about, at any rate.

She locates the two of them again and shows it to them, asking Emet specifically, "Alright then, what do you think of this?"