When he finally responded to Chang Geng’s feelings, it wasn’t a conscious decision. His hand moved on its own, to take Chang Geng’s. After that, well. It wasn’t a decision he could go back on. At the time, he’d believed that, with the nation in extreme peril, with the uncertainty of death hanging over them all, was it really such a terrible thing for the two of them to comfort each other?
Years later, victory was at hand, though at the cost of his own life. He has no regrets about that—apart from knowing that Chang Geng would likely choose to follow him in death. That is too heavy a burden for his conscience to bear.
He doesn’t have the heart to tell Walter the usual platitudes, that death is fated for us all, and all lovers must one day be separated; that just because one might die young, doesn’t mean he has no right to live. They would all feel hollow, given his own circumstances.
He draws his hand away from Walter’s and asks, by way of changing the subject, “What kind of work do you do?” Walter had mentioned something about it when they first met, but at that time he’d been more than a little distracted.
cw suicide
Years later, victory was at hand, though at the cost of his own life. He has no regrets about that—apart from knowing that Chang Geng would likely choose to follow him in death. That is too heavy a burden for his conscience to bear.
He doesn’t have the heart to tell Walter the usual platitudes, that death is fated for us all, and all lovers must one day be separated; that just because one might die young, doesn’t mean he has no right to live. They would all feel hollow, given his own circumstances.
He draws his hand away from Walter’s and asks, by way of changing the subject, “What kind of work do you do?” Walter had mentioned something about it when they first met, but at that time he’d been more than a little distracted.