isleofavalon | getting used to it, lit the fuse to it

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getting used to it, lit the fuse to it

🧙 WHO: Zuko & Co. (open to all)
⚔️️ WHAT: Sync or Swim TDM prompts: meditating, synchronized magic practice, brooding at bonfire
🕒 WHEN: February ???^th
🗺️ WHERE: Meditation area
⚠️ WARNINGS: Everything's kosher!

A. We Succeed Together

[ Zuko's not new to meditation. He's diligently forced himself into peaceful mindfulness — cuz that's how his mind works. With everything Zuko's been through, and his latent anger issues, despite whatever progress he's made, meditation comes hard for him — which is exactly why he meditates. By now, after years of using meditation to help bolster his firebending (or so he saw it at the time; in fact in hindsight, it was his uncle's sneaky way to encourage him to heal his traumatized young soul), Zuko's become a pro. Find him in his meditation tent, legs crossed, back straight, hands laid against his knees comfortably, as if he's been in this position for quite some time now. He has been; for hours. He has enough on his mind to work through since being in Avalon that several hours of meditation on end is... due.

Meditation and connection with others is different. He is curious about combining magics. He likes taking advantage of the nice environment in the tents, the familiar smell of incense, the warm steamy air a firebender loves most, a deep silence filling the tent most of the times, but occasionally, if he's in a more wistful way in his meditating at the moment, the sound of a somber, strange-sounding instrument drifts softly through the air. He enjoys the moments when no one comes in his for a while, but when people do, he's trying to be more forthcoming than usual, wanting to succeed at the magic training task... but forthcoming doesn't necessarily mean friendly. He's still a stick-in-the-mud. He'll take shots and play 20 questions with his partners without hesitation, but don't expect him to act happy about it. That's not the jive in this tent, okay.

However, once they've built more trust perhaps, a more vulnerable, awkward side of Zuko shows when trying to dance together. He's agile and nimble, with good footwork and coordination, but he's stiff and nervous dancing the whole time — no rhythm, no fun, no fluidity. He's going through the motions. There's no dancing in the Fire Nation. It's considered inelegant. And Zuko's least of all the type to cut a rug. But if it comes to a dancing emergency like this, he'll dance to save his life — cuz he did that once, y'know, danced with his friend to keep some dragons from eating them, then danced with the dragons... That has to count for something. ]

B. We Fail Apart
[ If it doesn't, and you end up trapped in the tent together... lord help you. You may both go blind. He's been here since shortly after dawn, so it could be literally any time of day, sun or moon. But if he doesn't loosen up with his dancing partners and open up more, he'll run into trouble for sure. Zuko's got a ton of secrets, and he's not keen to share them, so unsealing the tent is gonna take some time. Bodyswapping seems less intimidating than revealing certain things... But he has plenty of other secrets to divulge if it comes to it. ]

C. Loss and Gain
[ The bonfire is Zuko's scene, and he's had some peace of mind after all the meditating and magic-lacing all day. He's chewed over so much, revealed so much about himself, had a deeply pensive day, so it's left him rather quiet and ruminative, but still very much seeking company. He's struggling with some major feelings of loss and conflicts about connection since arriving in Avalon, his social life in shambles and yet absolutely blessed in other areas, his deep duality somehow always at play. He's gained old friends, lost new friends, been spirited away again... It's a lot. He's just come from another planet, apart from his home for half a year now, where he needed to depend on physical affection from others to survive, and that's very unnatural for the young fire prince, but it was easy to ask for it there, because everyone needed to touch, it was understood. Here... he doesn't know how to get so cozy with people like that easily; it's not his first inclination. He's been touch-starved for over five years now, even on that strange alien planet before he came to Avalon, but he's become more comfortable with it, enjoys it. Just doesn't know how to ask for it. He's fine without, as nice as it'd be, and it seems just as nice to simply sit beside someone. Conversation is welcome as well as silence. Just being near someone now seems... important.

He can't help but dwell on deeper, darker, lonelier thoughts, as he gazes into the flames. They burned colors he'd never seen but once — when dragons produced similarly rainbow flames, so hot and intense in a pillar of fire surrounding Zuko, overwhelming him to his very core. No other fires could ever compete. But this one was particularly entrancing, and he'll sit there for hours just staring at it until it's no more than embers. He's had a lot on his mind since coming here; more than usual, which is saying something. All this dwelling is definitely due; but good conversation, good company, good moods always make dwelling more productive. At the tail end of the night, as the embers die down, Zuko uncharacteristically catches one of the rainbow fireflies to make a wish. He tries to do it off away from what few other lingerers there are still, but wishing alone won't help wishes come true, whatever whim of a wish it was that he indulged. All good energy counts. ]

D. Wildcard!
Got another idea? Want to plot with me? Feeling the call of Destiny™ for our CR? hmu on plurk at

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[Gokudera is looking to improve his magic, and especially so if this is more a type of dark magic, the opposite of his light magic. He's got to meet new people, form some relations that may help the Family. Most people on this world don't know about the Vongola and he's content to keep it that way. The Tenth doesn't want the mafia to be the focus, and he's happy with that. Gokudera's always wanted to be more than what that lifestyle pushed him into... to be normal to some extent. If everyone in this world has to know magic, to help their worlds, then what difference does it make that he's not a very strong hitman?

He's just going to set his sights for mastery of his magic, to see if he can master more than one. Learning dark magic sounds like an endeavor of balance. Most every opponent he's had has pushed him to improve, and for that he's grateful.

But then he's opening and walking into a tent that holds someone he's not sure he's ready to meet again. Gokudera stiffens like a board, breath catching as nerves take him, and he has to accept that this is not a fight.] Oh

[No, ~~not~~] It's you.

[He takes dread with a deep breath in. This is a friend he failed, that he didn't know he even had. Zuko isn't going to attack him. Gokudera exhales slowly. This guy means him no harm. He's just meditating... it's okay. The Tenth said so.

Gokudera moves to sit across from him, just out of arms reach. They're supposed to trust each other.]

[ Zuko's eyes had been closed when Gokudera walked in, rather entranced in a certain zone mindfully, the mournful tsungi horn at play in the tent. His focus is broken when he hears someone approach, but he's not distracted or disturbed, doesn't even open his eyes — that is, until he hears Gokudera's voice. The calming tsungi horn is shattered by a sudden gong, its echoes hissing as Zuko's eyes meet Gokudera's. He's shocked to see him, conflicted, ill at ease — but always there's a natural gladness to see him and that's confusing and sad. He thought they were supposed to be avoiding each other; they'd agreed to. Yet, Gokudera sits. Zuko's expression softens as he does, and the whispers of the alarming gong melt back into the tsungi horn's mellow melody, quieter now. If Gokudera's choosing to sit with him in here instead of just turning tail out of the tent before it's too late... that must mean something. But he's no idea how to proceed except for with caution, voice smooth in its rasp, tempered, wry. ]

...Yes. It's me.

[He has meant to avoid Zuko. Didn't know he would be in this tent, and realizes that they've both used magic against each other. That's a lot to show someone, especially with the way Zuko had referred to his elemental magic as firebending. He seems to be very well versed in his magic if Gokudera were willing to make assumptions. As for his own light magic, it won't be needed, and he doesn't want to come across as a threat.

So when he takes his seat, it's with the intent to do what he needs to in order to further his magical abilities. There'd been no intent to meet up with a former enemy, and he knows that Zuko's sister would be angry. But... this isn't about him seeking out to hurt her brother. This is just an odd coincidence, and Gokudera is no coward... isn't going to attempt to make matter worse.]

Do you want to ask me anything?

[Might as well invite questions. Seems Zuko knows plenty, if they had been best friends. Gokudera takes another deep breath, actively trying to put himself at ease.]

[ Surely he wants to ask him something. He wants to ask him many things. But there's an element of wanting to wipe the slate clean, because whatever happened in Prismatica... isn't relevant. Zuko wants to gain Gokudera's trust on his own, just as he had before; not with his own memory's help. If that was possible. If they were truly destined to be friends, which has been Zuko's running theory and still sort of is, now that they find each other in this tent together, then trust will be earned organically somehow. And if not... then not.

But a starting question is a lot of pressure to put on the prince who's already been in such hot waters. He's terribly careful to choose his words, pausing before responding, wheels turning fast, conflicted. But as Zuko is in any realm of reality, he's earnest and active and ready. ]

...Yeah. Do you have any experience with something like this? Magic through connection or whatever.

Magic through connection?

[This is not as tense a situation for the bomber as it is for the prince. Gokudera feels like Zuko knows so much he won't let on, and it's almost like talking to Yamamoto, who knows about his future. Gokudera's trying not to spoil his own future, not wanting to acknowledge that while the baseball idiot and this fiery guy are not making assumptions based on Gokuderas they knew... he can't help feeling he isn't living up to their expectations.

That he's not where he should be. He's not been a good friend, and he's sure compared to how he will be, he's a disappointment.]

You mean being a vessel for someone else? Letting someone else use magic through me?

[There is more trust in Zuko than Gokudera lets on. Every ounce of negative energy Gokudera carries is directed inward.]

Yeah. Or magic built solely on trust, or teamwork... Tied to someone else somehow.

[ Fighting beside someone, or as part of a team, is not the same as forming a magical connection together for some special spells, after all. Zuko's had only his experience with Aang and the Sun Warriors and the dragons... Otherwise, he's hoofed it alone, magic-wise. Cooperative magic, is really what he means. That's not been his strong suit in life — and with this background knowledge he does have, indeed, he's curious where this Gokudera's experiences have landed him. Zuko has no idea if he's from his own future or past compared to when Zuko first met him, but... he'd reveal whatever he'd like to. Just like anyone else. ]

No. I didn't have any magic or anything at home. It was just my raw skill. My ties to someone else... in any magical way were not consensual.

[Gokudera touches his cheek, and there's no mark there, but he still remembers his sister being possessed and taking a blade to him. Remembers blacking out and feeling his own hand cut at his throat.]

Someone used my body to try and kill my boss. [Maybe that gives a little more insight to why he feels he can't trust himself.] And I don't know if they can do that any more.

[He moves his hand away from his face and looks into his palm, considering his own magic.] This magic we're supposed to learn is dark, and I only have light magic. I'm not so certain if I'm capable, but I have to try. If I don't, I won't improve.

That sounds terrifying.

[ Zuko says it in an even tone, looking Gokudera straight-on, trying to convey he understands, validate this new unfortunate painful memory he's never heard. He knows what it feels like plenty not to trust himself; but he's never actually lost that control, even if he's wondered many times if it were only a semblance, it at least was still his. Losing control of one's body... and being used to try to kill the Tenth, of course that must have been traumatizing. Something in the way Gokudera touches his cheek, immediately recognized as touching a phantom scar, sets Zuko on edge in a surreal but empathetic way. He's on edge in general but as Gokudera goes on, he's starting to feel more at ease that... at least he's talking to him, even opening up. He wasn't expecting that. ]

You're right. It's hardest to learn what's opposite to our natures. But that's why we have to, yeah. ...I think we're capable.

[ He doesn't smile, but he gives a single reassuring nod, affirmative, we got this. He's absolutely thinking of his uncle and talking about the elements' true nature working in tandem and the potential of that harmony; thinking about cockily telling Aang "whoever these firebending masters are, we're the fire prince and the Avatar, we can take them" before meeting the dragons, eating his words later; thinking about his theory of how Gokudera needs to learn Mist Flames before he can learn Sky Flames from Tsuna, the only one that's opposite to his nature — destruction vs construction — before he can learn harmony... He's on some Iron-level Avatar-y style thinking and he's just gonna be like that no matter where he goes. But he feels somehow a good gut feeling about this right now, not so uneasy bit by bit. ]

Mn.

[Gokudera doesn't look at him as he explains it all, a bit too focused on dredging up that living nightmare. It wasn't even that long ago. He remembers feeling like a puppet, disposable, and his body hadn't even been well enough to handle what it was made to do. This may be him opening up, but not in a personal way. It is what it is... horrible to be used to do someone else's bidding and have no control. To Gokudera, showing softer emotions are weaknesses, and those are held more closely and secure than sharing something horrible he's been through. If he's made it through, it makes him look and feel stronger, he assumes. There is nothing flattering to his character about comforting someone.]

Is doing something like this familiar to you?

[He wants to know if Zuko has ever controlled someone else, or ever been so synchronized... Has he ever been controlled? Without having any experience with magic before Avalon, Gokudera would not believe even a small bit of whatever Avatar theories Zuko held to compare with the bomber.]

[If Zuko isn't sure how to physically connect with others here, he's in luck! Either that or extremely unfortunate.

Whatever Zuko's thoughts on the matter, they don't stop this complete stranger from sitting down next to him and promptly using his lap as a pillow.]

Don't move.

[No asking permission, no apologies or pardon mes. The stranger just dumps a "don't move" before squirming to get comfortable on someone else's thighs.

Perhaps Zuko isn't the only one who has issues with socializing.]

No. Nothing even close.

[ He'd witnessed Katara bloodbend... That was terrifying. But still a solitary form of magic. No connection. Just manipulating liquids as any waterbender might. Does he mention it? He feels he shouldn't... It sounds ominous. But he has no parallels, even just in tests of trust— well, except... ]

...I did have a test of trust and teamwork with a friend at home once — sort of. And we, uh... had to do a special magic dance, too. But that was a sacred, ancient firebending form, and once we mastered it, it just made our flames stronger when we worked together. Not— something like this... I'm not sure anything similar to this kind of magic even exists in my world.

[ He has so many issues socializing. He shoves the strange man out of his lap harshly the moment contact is made. A younger Zuko would have reacted far quicker, and harsher. ]

What the hell?!

[Mentioning something like that would be terrifying, but also Gokudera could probably ask more questions. He has no idea what firebending even is. It's just sort of something he assumes means that whoever can firebend can... control fire? His eyes narrow while he listens, struggling to understand.]

So... firebending... [He wonders about dancing, is there any science?]

Is that... like you summon fire and can control it? Does there have to be a fire around, or do you just make it from your body...?

[There now he's basically admitting that he has no idea what Zuko is actually talking about without putting it in those words.]

Would it be alright if I joined you?

[Aurora's voice is soft, endeavoring not to disturb the young man who is already meditating. She hadn't meant to disturb him, of course, but she hadn't been aware of his actions inside. She lingers at the flap, her hands behind her back as she waits to be allowed in. She is not the sort to do something without an invitation.]

[Somehow Ken wasn't even sure how he ended up in this mess. All he wanted to do was get to know this strange boy more and now that things didn't go as well as he hoped? He was now faced with the dilemma of trying to get out of the tent. He couldn't see anything but hoped Zuko could still hear him!]

Zuko-san? Can you hear me? You're still here, aren't you?

[Ken needs your help!

ooc: If this isn't okay, let me know!]

[ The flap to the tent opens silently, first a head of red hair poking through, taking a quick glance around, and then the rest of Karma's body slides inside, bringing the smell of a different type of incense, of sandalwood and star anise. He stands quiet at the entrance to the tent, taking his time taking things in, and then shrugs and takes a seat in front of Zuko.

He sits cross legged as well, but leaned over, elbows to his knees to prop up his chin as he stares at Zuko. A five hour one-way staring contest in which Karma stares intently at Zuko and says absolutely nothing. ]

[ Zuko's in a meditative mindset and has a deep focus on himself while alone, and enjoys that... But the point of this exercise is to connect to others, to build trust, and bad things happen if you can't, as he understands. He's at first naturally glad for the silence. Merely closes his eyes to avoid the other's stare. But after quite a while of this, the fire prince occasionally opens his good eye to check to see if Karma was still staring. Which he was. So after a few times of that, "quite a while" becoming too long finally, Zuko opens his eyes and looks him dead-on. He stares back for a tentative moment, trying to figure out how to deal with this... unusual social situation. His stare is hard, but not angry — just focused, conflicted, confused, earnest. But while he means no harm, and his face is just naturally grumpy even when he's feeling as softhearted as he is now, his wording... leaves something to be desired. ]

What?

[ The corners of Karma's mouth twitches upwards at the gruff but not entirely unexpected question, stare no less intense now that the silence has been broken.

Then he leans back, bright smile on his face. ]

What happened to your face?

[ SORRY HE WOULD JUST ASK. Like he knows the vast majority of people would not, fearing social taboo, and that's specifically why he asks, direct and with all the airs of innocence. ]

[ That draws an instantaneous deep scowl on Zuko’s face. You’d be surprised how many tactless people are out there who do just ask directly; he’s used to it. But it pisses him off every time. Every time, it just triggers a wave of anger that made him feel just like he felt when people first started asking him that when he was 13. He’s dealt with over three years of nosy strangers and it gets under his skin like it was yesterday. He screws up his face, looking far more menacing than most might just because of the scar. His tone is thick, wry, a subtle sarcastic lilt at the end, and he doesn’t break eye contact. ]

Why, do you like it? We could match...~

[ He doesn't balk at all, spirits lifting at Zuko's reaction to his question. The sounds of rustling leaves pick up in the background, the flutter of bird wings taking flight, a babbling brook— the sounds of Karma's heart in delight. ]

Haha, no way~ I'm just asking! Isn't that the whole point of being here?

[ Yes, and that was annoying. This was not the way to start off building trust for Zuko; jumping to the obvious. But he loads his scar up with so much more pain and horror conceptually than probably most people assume is behind it... For many, they'd think he was in a training accident, or it was a strange birthmark, or something benign — not the true story. No one's imagination would first assume that. No one's but Zuko's, so the question always comes with extra weight and venom. He feels a bit sheepish at the lighthearted response, unsure what to make of this guy... He feels like he came in hot in response when really the guy was just asking the obvious question, it's true. It's less sinister than Zuko feels. He's still terse even considering this, but he answers vaguely, losing eye contact uncomfortably as he casts his gaze aside. ]

...I was burned. A direct, close-range blast of fire. Three years ago... Almost four.

[ His answer may be dry, but hey, it's an answer. ]

[ Zuko turns to face her, not startled, but focus broken. He's in this tent to connect with people, so he can't complain when he's disturbed; but it's nice to have the breaks, for someone not such a social butterfly. So it was also nice to have someone soft-spoken and considerate, polite enough to ask for an invitation, permission, consent. He skips a beat before responding, a bit taken by her beauty, being that he's never having seen anyone who looks anything like her in his own world, and being that... he's a sixteen-year-old boy and notices pretty girls and he's awkward enough as it is. He nods shortly, taking a few deep, tempered breaths to reorient him somewhat to being with people again. He bows his head respectfully as she sits, though he does not speak or smile. ]

We produce it from within our body. Strength in firebending comes from the lungs — then that energy is turned into chi, which courses through us, extends past the limbs, and becomes real fire. So your firebending is tied to your very core; whatever your deepest drive is in life also stokes your flames. You can feel it in you all the time, that natural heat. Think of it like a second heartbeat — like a little sun inside you...

[ He pauses, a bit of a forlorn look creeping into his eyes but so briefly. He felt that feeling in Prismatica, even if it was weak when his firebending didn't work, maybe merely embers, but still felt his inner fire could be stoked no matter. And it was eventually. But here... he felt nothing. No heat inside. Snuffed out. He shakes off the sad reminder quickly. ]

Only firebenders can do that, though. Other benders can only manipulate what's around them. But we can't — we can only produce flames, not manipulate them. Once a fire burns, its destiny is to destroy — even we can't stop its wild nature. So... our flames should be used wisely.

[ His own subtle apology once more, slipped into that explanation rather smoothly, he felt. He thinks his uncle would be proud of his definition of firebending. He feels proud of his definition of firebending. He's had to explain it many ways over the past half a year, but this one came off rather gracefully compared to all the other awkward attempts to describe his raison d'être — perhaps this time his eloquence is inspired by the fragility and gravity of his complex connection with Gokudera. ]

[ It's quite the convenience, this tent, the fact that they're to talk about themselves and built some sort of truth between each other. Anything that Karma asks can be attributed to just that, even if he's just curious, even if he just likes knowing about other people.

He makes note of the way the other boy's temper calms, of the way he looks away from Karma when he speaks, of the honest response. He makes a note of the answer- a blast of fire, when fire doesn't naturally blast unless wielded by another person, as Zuko doesn't seem the sort to clumsily stumble and trip into a firepit. Somebody threw fire on him. An accident? He wouldn't be looking away if it were an accident. On purpose, then. The discomfort suggests the culprit was somebody he's at the very least acquainted with, but not exactly an enemy, or Karma thinks that reaction would be different.

Hm. ]

...I see. That really sucks! But, three or four years, huh? I guess it's too late, now.

...Yeah. It's too late.

[ What a dark tone and look, narrowed eyes still cast aside. Karma is reading between the lines quite well. Not that it's too difficult — even if Zuko is not so forthcoming, he's also quite transparent in his own unconscious ways. This cryptic, almost sarcastic response shows there's definitely a lot of attachment and emotion built up here, so it must have been traumatic. He doesn't look very old — he's obviously still a teenager. So sure, safe to assume a blast to the face with pure fire as a child might leave some residual effects psychologically... But his were clearly still quite close to his heart, even after so long, to be getting this tense reaction. Too late for what, he's not sure what the other means exactly — healing, he assumes. But it's too late for a lot more than that... Much more outside the injury, inside it. A lot was too late to heal after that blow. But not too late to repair — even if the scar will always stay. ]

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