[Gokudera glares at her, drops his hands to his sides in tight fists, and his eyebrows knit back up as if they never ever relaxed. It's such a regular expression that honestly, it's probably easy to assume he frowns even in his sleep.]
I told the people I'm close to about the collar! The person I love put it on me! He didn't know this would happen! I thought he'd-
[That's too personal. He clams up, stifles his anger a bit, grits his teeth, and lets out a scoff.]
What I'm going through is my fault, and it's not that I didn't want anyone to help me! It's that no one could! Hell, there's no guarantee this procedure is going to even work!
[And he's scared. There's that looming fear that he'll die. That it will come off, and that will be the last time he sees anyone. Watching shock and failure as the last expressions on people who want to help him and it will be his fault. All his fault, and he doesn't feel weak for asking for help. He feels very much human. Very weak for being... weak. For coming to terms with the fact that he could die.]
It's the best option we've got.
But... look... if it. If I...
[A sigh.]
If I die, it's because of my collar. Not you, or Midoriya, or Emet-Selch, or anyone else involved. Okay? I get the feeling that you hero-types are the kind that will blame yourselves. But... I already know how unlikely but possible my end is with this procedure.
So if you want to help, I can trust you. If... you really want to.
no subject
[Gokudera glares at her, drops his hands to his sides in tight fists, and his eyebrows knit back up as if they never ever relaxed. It's such a regular expression that honestly, it's probably easy to assume he frowns even in his sleep.]
I told the people I'm close to about the collar! The person I love put it on me! He didn't know this would happen! I thought he'd-
[That's too personal. He clams up, stifles his anger a bit, grits his teeth, and lets out a scoff.]
What I'm going through is my fault, and it's not that I didn't want anyone to help me! It's that no one could! Hell, there's no guarantee this procedure is going to even work!
[And he's scared. There's that looming fear that he'll die. That it will come off, and that will be the last time he sees anyone. Watching shock and failure as the last expressions on people who want to help him and it will be his fault. All his fault, and he doesn't feel weak for asking for help. He feels very much human. Very weak for being... weak. For coming to terms with the fact that he could die.]
It's the best option we've got.
But... look... if it. If I...
[A sigh.]
If I die, it's because of my collar. Not you, or Midoriya, or Emet-Selch, or anyone else involved. Okay? I get the feeling that you hero-types are the kind that will blame yourselves. But... I already know how unlikely but possible my end is with this procedure.
So if you want to help, I can trust you. If... you really want to.