[It will still take Tifa a while to fall asleep, but at least she has his larger frame to hide herself in. There's a lot to think about and a lot on her mind, and all of it keeps her awake for much longer than she hoped.
The things that ran through her head while she walked in silence through the fog, that tiny, tired puppy cradled safe in her arms. It had all been about how he'd risked himself to get them out of trouble, and how she, without realizing it, had placed her implicit, unwavering trust in him not just tonight, but long before. That was harder to pinpoint, but she wonders if it had been that time after the restaurant, when she'd asked him to stay with her, at least until she fell asleep. She hadn't been afraid, but she was shaken up, and she felt safer knowing that he would be there.
Like he always has been. Why, though?
She still wonders that, even now, as she lays between his arms.
There's a small sob that lodges in her throat, and she bites it back when she thinks about everything else that had made her emotions boil over and brought her to tears. Cloud... How much it hurt when she thought about him, and how much she missed him. How badly she just wanted to return back to her own world just so she could be by his side again. Beside the Cloud that she knew, not the one that this world knew. Her Cloud, or as close as it could get. Wherever he was here, she hoped that he was doing okay. He always did need someone to watch over him, and she can only pray that he's found that.
No matter where he is, or where she is, Tifa would always have a place in her heart for him... But there'd been someone else who had made himself at home there, too. Eustace was the one who wiped those tears from Cloud away, and who had surged her tired body and mind to life again with the mere touch of a finger.
It's difficult to place what it is about him that she feels so drawn to, but then again, is she just chasing something that needs or has no explanation? With Cloud, it had always been the same thing. Any time she asked herself why, the only answer she could come up with was "just because", but Eustace isn't Cloud. Maybe that's why she's searching so hard when she really shouldn't be? Is it really as simple as just because again?
Everything. The answer is everything. She should know that.
And then there's that next wave of guilt. The one that has haunted her from the start that this is all just some scheme her emotions are toying with to fill that void. Tifa could always stand on her own, but her life had been a hard and lonely one getting to where she is now that the idea of companionship in any form is a welcome one for her, and that's not what she wants this to be. Besides being filled with doubt that this was really the best thing for either of them, she wanted to be sure that it was more than just that, and the more that she listens to his breathing, the more sure she's becoming.
But it will take some time still.
That guilt may never go away, but she can at least get to the point where she can snatch that little bit of happiness out of the sky for herself. Just this once...?
Just this once, Tifa finally relaxes, the flood of weariness finally settling into her muscles and bones, starting from her shoulders right down to her feet. After a long time, she's fallen asleep, her quick breaths turned steady, and the arm she had draped over him unraveling and curling up at her chest.
And despite the rocky ground and the cold rain outside, it'll be one of the best nights of sleep she'll have had in a long, long time...]
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The things that ran through her head while she walked in silence through the fog, that tiny, tired puppy cradled safe in her arms. It had all been about how he'd risked himself to get them out of trouble, and how she, without realizing it, had placed her implicit, unwavering trust in him not just tonight, but long before. That was harder to pinpoint, but she wonders if it had been that time after the restaurant, when she'd asked him to stay with her, at least until she fell asleep. She hadn't been afraid, but she was shaken up, and she felt safer knowing that he would be there.
Like he always has been. Why, though?
She still wonders that, even now, as she lays between his arms.
There's a small sob that lodges in her throat, and she bites it back when she thinks about everything else that had made her emotions boil over and brought her to tears. Cloud... How much it hurt when she thought about him, and how much she missed him. How badly she just wanted to return back to her own world just so she could be by his side again. Beside the Cloud that she knew, not the one that this world knew. Her Cloud, or as close as it could get. Wherever he was here, she hoped that he was doing okay. He always did need someone to watch over him, and she can only pray that he's found that.
No matter where he is, or where she is, Tifa would always have a place in her heart for him... But there'd been someone else who had made himself at home there, too. Eustace was the one who wiped those tears from Cloud away, and who had surged her tired body and mind to life again with the mere touch of a finger.
It's difficult to place what it is about him that she feels so drawn to, but then again, is she just chasing something that needs or has no explanation? With Cloud, it had always been the same thing. Any time she asked herself why, the only answer she could come up with was "just because", but Eustace isn't Cloud. Maybe that's why she's searching so hard when she really shouldn't be? Is it really as simple as just because again?
Everything. The answer is everything. She should know that.
And then there's that next wave of guilt. The one that has haunted her from the start that this is all just some scheme her emotions are toying with to fill that void. Tifa could always stand on her own, but her life had been a hard and lonely one getting to where she is now that the idea of companionship in any form is a welcome one for her, and that's not what she wants this to be. Besides being filled with doubt that this was really the best thing for either of them, she wanted to be sure that it was more than just that, and the more that she listens to his breathing, the more sure she's becoming.
But it will take some time still.
That guilt may never go away, but she can at least get to the point where she can snatch that little bit of happiness out of the sky for herself. Just this once...?
Just this once, Tifa finally relaxes, the flood of weariness finally settling into her muscles and bones, starting from her shoulders right down to her feet. After a long time, she's fallen asleep, her quick breaths turned steady, and the arm she had draped over him unraveling and curling up at her chest.
And despite the rocky ground and the cold rain outside, it'll be one of the best nights of sleep she'll have had in a long, long time...]