[His eyes close as she works, finding the feeling of both the warm air and her touch...pleasant. It lulls him into a weird, relaxed state, his guard slowly lowering. He's even tempted to lean a little more forward when her fingers through his hair. And when she brushes over his right away, he stiffens for a moment but then relaxes a moment after, eyes still closed.
If he opens them now, his expression might betray his true thoughts.
However it will be his hand that does so instead, immediately reaching out to take hers before it falls too far away from him. It was such an impulsive action that he's also caught by surprise by it, slightly widened eyes staring at their hands. But then his expression shifts as if momentarily lost in thought before he adjusts his grip so his fingertips slide against her palm, the force clear that he's trying to keep her but not so tight that she couldn't pull away if she didn't want to.
Truthfully he should let her go—hell he shouldn't have grabbed her to begin with. But now that he has... His eyes finally rise up to meet hers and there's slight hardness in his gaze, so focused as if he's studying her every movement and try to read whatever her own reactions and expressions will be when he finally answers her question.]
...No.
[His grip on her hand tightens a fraction, an indescribable emotion simmering along with a strange heat that should not be there.]
I'm not.
[Like her, he had recalled all those times she's been with him, from the moment they first met in that strange bar in Celliwig, even back when they got dragged into that stupid margarita drinking contest and how they ended up falling asleep on that hay. How he had to drag her away from the mirrors; the unnecessary concern and attention she gave him when he was injured; the random movie that led her exposed to the crazy woman and how Tifa had been adamant on helping; the constant skinship they've ended up unintentionally shared—and how that's all led to him becoming more than just physically attracted to her.
If it had just been physical it would have been easier to deal with and ignore, but somehow this woman had decided to wedge herself into his life. And while she certainly isn't the first nor the last, she is the first one to make him pay actual notice to it. If anyone were to ask him why, he wouldn't be able to say. It's why he's been constantly questioning and trying to ignore it, to not put any meaning to the growing tension and attracting between them.
Then again, isn't that how it is? Sometimes there are no reasons, things just click and it just happens.
It's just not something he ever expected to happen to himself.
...And it's not something he wanted, not in this place, at least.
Yet it did, and Eustace has been oscillating between going with it and drawing back. Every time he gets close, an unknown need to retract forms and he pulls back. But then he ends up unknowingly wanting to close that distance again and the gap between them narrows further before needing to pull back again. The time she had shied away from him had been the first time he had felt so irritated by it, and even though he should have taken advantage of the distance that had started to form again now—one that he had initiated—once again he ends up trying to close it again by taking her hand and stopping her from pulling away from him.
His logic says they should maintain a respectable distance, yet a hidden part of him rebels and pushes back towards her again. He's always been able to deal and do things he doesn't like, yet this time he can't seem to allow himself to.
He doesn't like the idea of potentially hurting Tifa by getting too close with her.
But he doesn't like it when they're apart even more.
A selfish greed he can't seem to control, something he's never felt for himself before.
no subject
If he opens them now, his expression might betray his true thoughts.
However it will be his hand that does so instead, immediately reaching out to take hers before it falls too far away from him. It was such an impulsive action that he's also caught by surprise by it, slightly widened eyes staring at their hands. But then his expression shifts as if momentarily lost in thought before he adjusts his grip so his fingertips slide against her palm, the force clear that he's trying to keep her but not so tight that she couldn't pull away if she didn't want to.
Truthfully he should let her go—hell he shouldn't have grabbed her to begin with. But now that he has... His eyes finally rise up to meet hers and there's slight hardness in his gaze, so focused as if he's studying her every movement and try to read whatever her own reactions and expressions will be when he finally answers her question.]
...No.
[His grip on her hand tightens a fraction, an indescribable emotion simmering along with a strange heat that should not be there.]
I'm not.
[Like her, he had recalled all those times she's been with him, from the moment they first met in that strange bar in Celliwig, even back when they got dragged into that stupid margarita drinking contest and how they ended up falling asleep on that hay. How he had to drag her away from the mirrors; the unnecessary concern and attention she gave him when he was injured; the random movie that led her exposed to the crazy woman and how Tifa had been adamant on helping; the constant skinship they've ended up unintentionally shared—and how that's all led to him becoming more than just physically attracted to her.
If it had just been physical it would have been easier to deal with and ignore, but somehow this woman had decided to wedge herself into his life. And while she certainly isn't the first nor the last, she is the first one to make him pay actual notice to it. If anyone were to ask him why, he wouldn't be able to say. It's why he's been constantly questioning and trying to ignore it, to not put any meaning to the growing tension and attracting between them.
Then again, isn't that how it is? Sometimes there are no reasons, things just click and it just happens.
It's just not something he ever expected to happen to himself.
...And it's not something he wanted, not in this place, at least.
Yet it did, and Eustace has been oscillating between going with it and drawing back. Every time he gets close, an unknown need to retract forms and he pulls back. But then he ends up unknowingly wanting to close that distance again and the gap between them narrows further before needing to pull back again. The time she had shied away from him had been the first time he had felt so irritated by it, and even though he should have taken advantage of the distance that had started to form again now—one that he had initiated—once again he ends up trying to close it again by taking her hand and stopping her from pulling away from him.
His logic says they should maintain a respectable distance, yet a hidden part of him rebels and pushes back towards her again. He's always been able to deal and do things he doesn't like, yet this time he can't seem to allow himself to.
He doesn't like the idea of potentially hurting Tifa by getting too close with her.
But he doesn't like it when they're apart even more.
A selfish greed he can't seem to control, something he's never felt for himself before.
And he's not sure how to handle it.
So no, right now he really isn't "good."]