I—kept expecting that to be exactly what was gonna happen to me, for my first few months here.
[This spills out of him unbidden, as he's too shocked to do much but just tell her the answer to her question outright. He can imagine it, yes, but not in the sense that he can really know how it feels. Only in the sense that his paranoid brain had done exactly that more nights than not in the time since he'd arrived here: imagined it. Made up the scenario again and again, as an explanation for a thing he couldn't explain and couldn't bring himself to take at face value.
It's not the same. Kadoc shakes his head on a hard swallow. No, he can't understand, but it's clear enough how that had affected her. The idea that she might be less human for it doesn't occur to him; how could she be, with this utterly human reaction of horror to her circumstances?]
But it didn't. To me, it was just a crazy thing I came up with to explain all this. To you . . . I didn't realize. . . . So being here is your first time existing outside of all that.
no subject
[This spills out of him unbidden, as he's too shocked to do much but just tell her the answer to her question outright. He can imagine it, yes, but not in the sense that he can really know how it feels. Only in the sense that his paranoid brain had done exactly that more nights than not in the time since he'd arrived here: imagined it. Made up the scenario again and again, as an explanation for a thing he couldn't explain and couldn't bring himself to take at face value.
It's not the same. Kadoc shakes his head on a hard swallow. No, he can't understand, but it's clear enough how that had affected her. The idea that she might be less human for it doesn't occur to him; how could she be, with this utterly human reaction of horror to her circumstances?]
But it didn't. To me, it was just a crazy thing I came up with to explain all this. To you . . . I didn't realize. . . . So being here is your first time existing outside of all that.